


Scales of Fate

by altargaryen



Series: Balancing the Scales of Fate [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Hair Braiding, Mutual Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Slow Burn, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-04-16 12:45:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 124,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14165136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altargaryen/pseuds/altargaryen
Summary: Kylo Ren wakes up aboard the Finalizer the morning after Crait to the realization that his mind is, for the first time in his life, his own. The nightmares and voices that have plagued him are gone, and he is now left to rule the First Order as his own man. But without his Dark Master to keep him firmly on the Dark Side, he may find himself drawn to the balance offered on the other end of the Force Connection that neither he nor Rey seem able to break.Taking a different, slow burn approach to the events following TLJ.





	1. The Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been months now, but I’ve gone deep down the Reylo rabbit hole, and the results stand before you. I have so many questions and desires for Episode IX, but this is my take on how things may go down. It is slow burn to the max, as I’m  
> trying to dive into all of Rey’s relationships. There are also young Ben Solo flashbacks and some Force Ghost blasts from the past. I’ve tried to stay true to the revelations from the novelization as well as the film. I hope you all enjoy, and I look forward to hearing all of your thoughts and feedback.

It was quiet. So quiet that it put him on edge. Sleep had come easily and without  
incident that night. He was exhausted, certainly, but for the first time in as long as he could remember there had been no dreams, no nightmares. The voices in his head were gone.

Normally Kylo would’ve allowed the pain and frustration of his defeat to consume him, drawing him into the darkness. But something had changed. Without Snoke, he was finally free in his own mind. He realized then just how much control his former master had exercised over his thoughts. Ever since he was a child he’d been plagued by nightmares and voices, all calling him to the darkness, feeding him doubt and pain. He believed it was his curse, the part of him that truly was a monster. How different would it all have been without them?

It did not matter. He could not take away all that he had done and all that he had suffered. As he lay on his mattress, surrounded by dark sheets, his mind drifted back to familiar territory: loss. He lost his master. He had lost the Resistance. He had lost to Luke. He had lost Rey.

_Rey._

He wanted to hate her, to destroy all memory of her completely. Yet he didn’t. Snoke had used him to get to her, that much was true, but the connection remained. Despite Snoke’s death and despite her rejection, he had seen her one last time before she closed him out for good, his failure complete.

_I’ll destroy her._

He meant it when he’d spat the words at Luke, without her name attached, without her face staring back at him. But seeing her again, looking down at him from what he knew must have been the Falcon, he knew the truth.

He couldn’t kill her. Just like he couldn’t kill his mother when the time came.

Rey had shown no fear, and somehow, no anger. But her hazel eyes no longer widened with compassion either. She was disappointed. She had come to him, trusted him for some ungodly reason. She was naive and foolish to believe she could turn him back, to bring him home. But she had cared enough to try. She had cared enough not to kill him as he lay defenseless on the ground of the throne room. And he had retaliated without mercy.

He had felt something similar from his mother as his TIE-silencer flew toward the bridge of the Raddus. She loved him. She worried for him and wanted to know he was safe. After everything he had done, she’d still just wanted him to come home. Just like his father, just like Rey.

But his mother was gone, and this was his home now. He was Supreme Leader of the First Order. The Finalizer, where he currently found himself, and the Order was all he’d known for the past six years. Rey was sputtering across the galaxy in that pile of junk his father had called a ship, destination unknown. How could she possibly consider that home? How could Rey choose _that_ over everything he had offered her?

He sat up again, his anger returning. He had allowed himself to feel too much compassion, to question himself for too long. Of course he could kill her. He had killed his own father. He had allowed his own mother to die on board that rebel ship, too shocked to stop it. If he could watch his own parents die, he could certainly bare to watch her. Rey was just a scavenger from a sand covered rock. A nobody. Nothing.

Except she wasn’t.

               —————————

Rey sat alone in one of the gunner compartments of the Falcon, Anakin’s broken lightsaber resting in her lap. The Falcon was full of people, new friends and allies, and yet she found herself drawn here, where she could look out at the vastness of space and be alone.

The significance of this choice was not lost on her. She knew she should’ve wanted the comfort of her friends, of Finn and Leia and Chewie. Even Poe seemed like someone she would enjoy getting to know in the coming months. But right now she wanted to be here, alone with her thoughts among the stars.

In reality, she was never truly alone. While she had severed the connection with Kylo as she’d boarded the Falcon, she knew better than to believe it was gone for good.

She’d expected that it would be following Snoke’s reveal and subsequent death, but as she’d ushered the remaining Resistance fighters onto the Falcon she felt that familiar buzz as the world around her fell away and it was only him and her. He’d looked so broken on his knees, but she had no pity for him in the moment. He could’ve come with her. Should’ve come with her. But he’d chosen another path, the path of hate and anger and destruction.

When they had touched hands in the hut on Ahch-To she had seen him standing by her side. Now they seemed farther away from that vision than ever before. She wanted that, and he had wanted it to. But it would not be so simple. The Force had plans for them, and it was not her place to bring them about before they were meant to be. She knew this, was content with it even, and yet she found herself replaying his proposal over and over in her head.

_You come from nothing. You’re nothing. But not to me._

_But not to me._

He’d saved her life. And when they’d fought side by side something fell into place, a symbiosis that allowed them to work perfectly in sync. She’d sensed his conflict in the elevator, but not until he’d walked toward her and offered her a place by his side did she realize the full depth of his emotion. It terrified her, but not in the same way that she had once been afraid of him. This was something else entirely. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her or beat her down. His eyes were full of longing, her voice full of desperation and apprehension. She’d wanted to take his hand, to walk away and know that they’d never have to be alone again.

She just wanted it with Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren.

No matter what she’d seen in his eyes as she ended their connection, and no matter what she saw in the vision on Ahch-To, she could not allow herself to forget the choice he had made.


	2. The Memories

“Rey?” Finn’s voice dragged her out of her dangerous thoughts, snapping her back to reality. She turned to see her friend resting his elbows gently against the porthole, the lower half of his body remaining on the ladder to the gunner’s compartments.

“Want some company?” His voice was comforting and his smile warm, and she returned it as best she could. Despite seeking out the farthest depths of the ship to avoid being disturbed, she accepted his proposal, moving over and patting the floor beside her. Finn climbed his way in and followed her gaze out into the stars.

“Quite the view. I see why you’ve been hiding out down here.”

Finn meant the words to be casual, but she could hear the hurt behind them. “I haven’t been...”

Finn laughed sadly. “Nah, you just came out here to watch the stars.”

Rey reached out, placing her hand over his as he turned to look at her. The pain on his face broke her heart. He was her first friend, her best friend. They had been separated for too long and she understood how her avoidance could feel like betrayal.

She took his hand in her own, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry Finn. I’m not avoiding you. I promise.” She turned then, resting her cheek again his shoulder, feeling him relax beneath her. They sat in silence for a moment before he finally formulated the questions she knew to be coming.

“Rey.” He breathed out deeply. “What happened to you out there?”

She sighed, the weight of the last few weeks falling upon her. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

He didn’t push. There would be time to explain everything that had happened while they were apart, but they both sensed that this was not it.

“How is Rose?”

She felt Finn’s fear bubbling up inside him. This was what really troubling him. His new friend who had risked her life to save him, now lying unmoving in the main cabin. “They say she’ll be alright.”

“You care about her a lot.” It wasn’t a question. She had seen the way Finn watched over the girl. It puzzled her, the way he doted on Rose. She’d never experienced that kind of care and devotion. No one had ever been there to take care of her, to lay a blanket over her as she lay freezing during the cold nights on Jakku.

“Yeah.” Finn paused for a moment, considering, before firmly resigning himself to his feelings. “Yeah, I do.”

They allowed the silence between them to linger, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. They were both lost in their conflicting emotions, trying to understand what would come next.

Finn shifted and she raised her head off his shoulder, meeting his eyes. He offered her another smile and she returned it without hesitating.

“It’s going to be ok.” It took saying it out loud for her to believe it to be true, but she knew, sitting here with him in this ship, that it would be. The Force sought balance, and balance meant the fighting could not go on forever.

                   ————————

Leia sat in the cockpit of the Falcon alone. Chewie had been kind enough to set the ship on autopilot and give her the space she so desperately craved.

She had so many memories in this tattered cock-pit, all revolving around her handsome scoundrel. She loved that man, despite all his faults, and she missed him terribly.

And Luke. Her brother. How much time had they spent in this ship; the three of them, Chewie, Threepio, and R2? They were quite the team, and they had helped bring down an empire together.

But those were not the memories that pulled at her most now. They were from adventures long since passed. It was the new adventure that she and Han had embarked on following the Battle of Endor that she dwelled on: their family.

She could see Han sitting in the pilots chair, their little black haired beauty on his lap, grabbing at the golden dice hanging from the controls.

_“Here you go, big guy.” Han said handing Ben the dice. “These are my lucky dice, you know. They won me this ship. Might’ve had something to do with landing your mother too.” Han turned to her with a wink before leaning down and whispering in Ben’s ear. “But we won’t tell her that, right?”_

Ben had carried those dice with him for weeks afterward, promising he’d be a pilot one day, just like his father.

Of course, Han was gone more often than he was home, off training others to be pilots for the Republic or running races across the galaxy. But he still made time to teach Ben as he grew older.

_“He’s a natural.” Han told her one night as they lay on the couch, some holovid on in the background. “Far better than I ever was at his age.”_

_“It’s in his blood” Leia looked up at her husband. She didn’t say it, but the truth stretched between them. Han knew she was not only referring to him. Luke had told her as much as he could about their father, including how he had been a great pilot in his youth. They did not talk about her birth parents often. It was a truth she had to bear, but it did not do to dwell on it. Bail and Breha Organa were her parents, and she had loved them with a fierceness she knew only for her son. Yet Ben would never know them. He would instead inherit the Skywalker blood, and all that came with it._

_“He should come with me.” Han said, breaking the silence. “It’d do him some good to be with other students. And he’s already better than half of them will ever be.”_

_“He’s too young.” She’d replied. “Your students are double his age. And it’s dangerous.”_

_“Oh come on. He’d be with me. What’s the worst that could happen?” Leia rolled on top of him, resting her chin_ _on her hands along his chest. She loved the way his eyes squinted together when he teased her._

_“You don’t actually expect me to answer that, do you?”_

_Han smirked. “Alright, alright. But someday. I don’t see him enough anymore. Or you.”_

He’d made up for some lost time that night, but now, sitting in the cock-pit alone, she regretted how much time they had spent apart. And Ben. Ben had needed them and they hadn’t been there. She loved her son more than anything in the galaxy, but she’d put the Republic first and her family second. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Even Han had encouraged her. Looking back, she knew that would be her greatest regret.

There was a knock on the door, and a presence on the other side that stirred her. She opened it to find the girl, Rey.

“I’m sorry.” Rey said, shyly. “I didn’t mean to...”

“No.” Leia cut her off. “I was hoping to talk to you about a few things. Come in.”


	3. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pulling at the young Ben Solo feels with this one. 
> 
> I have about 13 chapters complete for this story so far and the direction is constantly changing as I write. I love to hear your feedback and will aboslutely take it to heart as I continue down this journey with Rey and Ben.

Rey sat down in the co-pilot seat, as Leia took the pilot’s, the bright lights of hyperspace blurring around them. Rey did not know where they were headed, but it didn’t matter much to her. She’d seen so little of the galaxy and was just happy to be moving toward something, whatever it was.

She’d sensed the General’s grief from the gunner’s compartment as she sat with Finn. She knew she owed it to Leia to attempt to explain what had happened with Luke, and if she could work up the courage, with her son. The idea of explaining the force bond to Leia terrified her, but she was the only person left who could possibly understand.

And so she found herself heading toward the cock-pit of the Falcon after leaving Finn to check in on Rose.

Leia’s eyes were sad and weary, but she recognized the familiar shape. Kylo’s eyes, she realized. He’d inherited the deep brown shade from her as well. It hurt to look into them, yet Leia’s eyes were kind, providing comfort that she’d found only once in her force bond companion: when she had gone to him about the cave on Ahch-To.

“Something’s troubling you.” Leia cut through the silence, not one to waste words.

Rey looked away anxiously. “It’s... complicated. But I don’t know who else to turn to.”

Leia leaned forward, a slight smile forming on her face. “Try me.”

Rey looked at Leia’s hands, placed delicately in her lap and an idea came to her. “I don’t know if I can explain it.” She looked up and met Leia’s gaze. “But I wonder if I can show you?”

When she and Kylo had touched hands through the bond, they each saw something. She did not know what she would find with Leia, but she hoped that somehow she could communicate all she needed Leia to know in a similar manner. It was a long shot, but she knew she had to try.

Leia nodded knowingly and took Rey’s hands in her own. Their eyes met for a moment and then she closed them, feeling for Leia in the force, drawing all her memories of Luke and of Kylo to the forefront of her consciousness. She felt Leia tense in her hands, but she did not let go, pushing her thoughts into the space between them.

Then Rey felt a tug. She was no longer in her own thoughts. _She was in an apartment, looking out the window at a planet she did not recognize. Her hand grazed her belly and she realized that it was large, swollen with life. She felt the force glow around her, drawing her to the baby inside her. There was something familiar about the presence. It was strong and full of light, and she loved it with all of her heart._

 _Ben,_ she realized. While his presence in the force was now full of darkness and anger, she recognized the strong pull, and the glimmers of light she still sensed in him.

Rey was jerked away suddenly, pulled to another moment. _This time she was in a bedroom. It appeared to belong to the same apartment as the first memory. She was holding a toddler in her arms. He was a boy, his hair dark and silky. She laughed as he reached for her nose, grabbing at it curiously. She nuzzled into his small hand, a smile wide on her lips as the baby cooed. His brown eyes wide and full of wonder._

Another jerk shifted her to a familiar place: the Falcon. _She was sitting in the main cabin, the black haired baby now a young boy standing in front of her. A man she recognized to be a much younger Luke was placing a blaster helmet on the boys head, handing him his lightsaber. The boy ignited it, the green glow lighting up the cabin._

_“Uncle Luke” the boy said. “I can’t see anything.”_

_“Reach out Ben.” Luke said calmly, turning on a blaster droid before sitting beside her. “The force will be your eyes.”_

_Han entered the cabin from the cock-pit as the blaster droid began to fire. Ben immediately deflected the shot. And then the next, and the next. Pride swelled inside her as she watched a smile spread across Luke’s face._

_“Good Ben.”_

_She turned to Han. He was leaning against the entryway, arms folded across his chest. Her smile fell away as she met his eyes. He felt lost. She sensed it. He’d told her years before how much he worried that he would never have the same connection with their son as she did through the force. That pain was at the forefront of his thoughts now as he watched their son twirl around with Luke’s lightsaber. He felt out of place here, disconnected from his family._

_Ben turned off the lightsaber and removed the oversized helmet from his tiny head, revealing a bright smile. “Did you see? Did you see Uncle Luke? I did it! I could see without seeing.”_

_Ben ran to her arms, leaping into them and she hugged him tightly. Her eyes met Han’s one last time before he slid away, back to the cock-pit._

_Ben pushed back, his eyes aglow with excitement and pride. “Did you see Mom?”_

_“Yes sweetheart.” She smiled at him, ruffling his thick black hair. Luke was rarely around to train Ben. This was an important moment for him. She couldn’t let Han’s uncertainty weigh on her son. “You were amazing.”_

This time Rey was jerked back to the apartment. She was standing in the kitchen her hand resting forcefully against the counter as Han paced around.

_“...I know I’m not around as much as I’d like to be. Neither of us are. But I don’t see what that has to do with what’s been happening with Ben.”_

_“Han, he misses you. He needs his father. He’s always alone, and I feel something changing inside him. He’s angry. He lashes out.”_

_“Yeah, he has this power that I’ll never understand. If you and Luke can’t figure it out, how am I supposed to?” Han’s voice rose as he grew more tense._

_She threw up her hands in frustration, lashing out angrily. “I don’t know! Talk to him!”_

_“About what?” Han yelled, startling her. “How he keeps blowing things up? I can’t understand that Leia. I don’t understand what’s happening to him. I don’t know how to help him!”_

“ _You haven’t even tried!” She yelled back before a loud crashing sound drew their attention down the hall. Their met eyes briefly before they both turned and rushed toward the sound._

_Leia pressed the button to open the door and turned immediately to the boy on the bed. He was hunched over his knees, face hiding behind them, and she could see his body shaking. She quickly took in the book shelf that was now lying in a heap of wood and metal on the floor as well as the broken glass from the lights that had been blown to bits._

_“Oh Ben.” She flung herself down on the bed beside him, wrapping her arms around him as best she could. He was bigger now, no longer the child she had seen on the Falcon. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”_

_A sob wracked through his body as she pulled him in closer. Han moved to settle beside her, resting his hand on Ben’s leg._

_“Ben...”_

Pain filled her suddenly and she realized she was not alone in these memories. She felt his presence and knew the bond had pulled him in, forcing him to watch as Leia’s memories flowed through her.

He yanked away, pulling her out with him and Rey felt Leia’s hands slip from her own, her eyes opening to the Millennium Falcon once again. She felt lost, the glimpses of Leia’s memories of Ben burned into her brain. She knew of his loneliness and his betrayal, but she saw very little of that here. If he had not cut her off, she wondered what she would’ve seen.

She met Leia’s gaze once again, and was met with pain and confusion.

“You speak to him?” Leia’s voice was soft, but her shock was apparent.

Rey held her gaze. “Yes.” She replied. “He’s still in there. Ben, I mean. Luke was right. I was foolish to think he would turn so easily. But I know he’s still there. There is still good in him.”

Leia nodded slightly. “I felt him. Just now. He was here” Leia turned to look out at hyperspace.

Rey watched as a single tear fell down Leia’s cheek. Then she turned back to Rey. “Thank you, Rey. For showing me this.”

Rey looked down at her hands, resting weakly in her lap. “I’m sorry I couldn’t bring him home.”

Leia leaned forward, resting her hand over Rey’s and squeezing gently. “Rey, it’s not your job to bring him home. He has to choose this for himself.”

She knew Leia was right. She had helped Kylo Ren take a step in the right direction, but he could not be forced back to the light. If he was to come back, it would be gradual, the Force guiding the way. She could be a tool, to be used to help him see the path forward, but in the end, only he could choose his fate.


	4. The Past

Kylo sat at his desk reading over the budget report for the reconstruction of the Supremacy. He’d been left with two choices in the wake of its destruction: find a planet to set up base or find a way to rebuild the ship. He had not cared much either way, but it had been Snoke’s vision to have a capital in the sky, untethered to a planet and the limitations that came from being based in one spot. Knowing this, and knowing how his generals would feel about a complete upheaval of First Order protocol, he had consented to the rebuilding of the Supremacy. Now, though, as he stared down at the budget report, he was beginning to think he’d made a terrible mistake.

He cared little for the politics of the First Order. He cared less for the mundane reports that he had to read and the decisions he suddenly found himself forced to have an opinion on. He was a soldier, a fighter, a student of the Force. His mother had been the politician, and he’d seen enough of her struggle in the New Republic to know that he wanted no part of it.

He thought it would be easier to rule like this, without thousands of representatives squabbling over petty disputes in a senate chamber. His rule was law. It would be that simple.

But simple it was not.

He was followed everywhere he went, constantly bothered by the anxiety of those who served him. It was exhausting.

On top of it all, there was only one order he had issued that in any way aligned with his own personal interests: tracking down the remaining Knights of Ren. Snoke had scattered his fellow knights across the galaxy, much to Kylo’s chagrin, and he was determined to bring them back together. They would be his best allies in the wars ahead, especially with Hux at the helm of the First Order fleet.

Kylo sent through the budget approvals and rose from his seat. The window of his quarters looked out at the molten planet the Finalizer was currently orbiting: Mustafar. Kylo had visited the planet once before, shortly after escaping from Luke’s temple. He’d sought answers there, from his grandfather, from the force. He thought he’d found them. He realized now that it had all been Snoke. The sudden silence in his mind confirmed this. His former master had tricked him into believing he was communing with Vader.

Now that he had taken his place as the Supreme Leader, fulfilling his promise to finish the work that Vader had started, he expected to feel relieved, completed even. Instead, he was torn up once again, filled with guilt and confusion. He hated this place, but he also knew it was his best chance at connecting with his grandfather in the hopes of reaffirming his path forward.

He turned away from the window abruptly, moving briskly to the door. As it opened, he turned to the stormtroopers guarding his room.

“Ready my ship.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” The troopers responded in unison as they quickly moved down the hall.

Kylo did not follow. A familiar buzzing noise was filling his consciousness, one he had not felt since Crait.

_Rey._

He fell back into his room, not wanting to be disturbed during this confrontation. He stood ready, prepared to meet her gaze. Instead he was met by something entirely different. Rey did not appear before him, but she did pull him in.

Suddenly he was in his parents apartment on Chandrila. He recognized the room, although it looked different than he remembered. He was holding a baby, a little black haired boy.

_It was him._

The memory shifted to the Falcon. He watched as a young Ben practiced with his uncle’s lightsaber through Leia’s eyes.

What was this? Why was he seeing his mother’s memories? Leia was dead. He had seen the bridge of her ship explode, felt her drift away. How was this possible?

He reached out, feeling around Rey’s presence, trying to understand. She was holding something, a pair of hands.

Then he felt it. His mother’s force signature was strong and clear, one he would recognize anywhere. She was alive and Rey was with her.

His vision shifted then as he watched his parents argue. He knew this memory all too well, although he had only heard it from his room. He did not want to see it. He did not want to go through this pain again. He had seen enough, and Rey had seen too much. He reached out to hold onto his teenage frame as Han placed his hand on his leg, breathing out his name softly.

_No._

Kylo pulled away, eyes refocusing on the floor of the Finalizer. His chest was heaving as he gripped at his knees, hunched over in his quarters. Rey and Leia were communicating, sharing memories. That meant his mother would now know about the force bond.

His emotions were churning wildly. There was anger at his mother for showing those memories to Rey and Rey for dragging him into them and for sharing their secret.

But he also felt relief. As much as he wanted to push away all attachment to his old self and deny these memories, knowing his mother was somehow still alive lifted a burden off his chest.

He clenched his fists tightly and refocused. As easy as it would be to give into his pain and anger, he could not distract himself with Rey or Leia or whatever it was that was stirring inside him. He would deal with them later. He had a mission, one that would require all of his strength and focus.

Straightening himself to his full height, he reached out for his lightsaber, pulling it to his side with the force and attaching it to his belt. As he strode out of his quarters and toward the hangar where his shuttle awaited him, he felt a surge of power. He would finally confront his greatest fear. Whatever awaited him on the planet below, this was destiny.


	5. The Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I warned you this was a slow burn, but the embers are starting to get warm in this one. 
> 
> This chapter is largely relationship building and filling in plot, but we are getting somewhere, I promise ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day? I’m getting a little overzealous. Also, Lando is back! I really hope we at least get some explanation of where he’s been in Episode IX. They’ve got a lot of characters to work with, but with Han, Luke, and likely Leia all gone, why not bring back our favorite smooth criminal? 
> 
> Anywho, I hope you are enjoying the story so far! I’ve got a lot planned...

Rey sat at the table on board the Falcon with Leia, Finn, and Lieutenant Connix. Poe Dameron was standing before them arguing with the other resistance survivors about their next move.

“I don’t like this. We should be going back to an old rebel base. Not rushing to a populated planet where we could easily be spotted.”

“We don’t know what is left of the rebel bases.” One of the older rebellion leaders whose name Rey did not know argued. “We can’t risk landing only to find out there is no food or fuel.”

“And what if the First Order has a presence on Bespin?” Poe shot back.

Leia sat up beside her. “They don’t.”

Everyone turned to face the General.

“Lando Calrissian was a rebellion general. He was the pilot that destroyed the second Death Star. He is a war hero and he was one of Han and I’s best friends.” Leia’s voice was strong and forceful, but Rey felt her sadness. “If there is anyone left in this galaxy that I trust, it is Lando Calrissian.”

Poe looked as if he wanted to say something, but the glare Leia shot him stopped him.

“It is a small outpost, forgotten since the fall of the Empire. And most importantly, no one knows Lando returned. The First Order believes he is running a freight company on one of the moons of Corellia.” Rey felt Leia push unspoken thoughts into her mind. _Ben thinks he’s on Corellia, which means the Order does too._

Poe tapped his foot impatiently, but it was Finn that broke the silence. “I’ve never heard of Bespin, and the First Order made sure we knew where every planet they considered significant was located. I say it’s worth a shot.”

Finn looked to Rey, then Leia, then Poe as Chewie voiced his agreement. Poe tapped his foot a few more times, his arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“Fine.” He said he said after a few moments, resigned. “I just hope you’re right about this.”

Poe turned toward the cock-pit, with Chewie following behind.

After a few moments, everyone started to disperse. Rey shot up to follow after Poe and Chewie. Poe had taken over much of the piloting since Crait and she had allowed it. He was a renown pilot and she had been desperate for some time alone. But she was over that now. Chewie was effectively the owner of the Millennium Falcon following Han’s death, but he’d made it clear that Rey was his co-pilot.

It was time she took back her ship.

As Rey walked down the hallway toward the cockpit, she heard Poe complaining to Chewie. “... could fly anything, but I don’t understand how this hunk of junk still flies.”

Chewie growled out his discontentment as Rey entered.

“I’m more than happy to take over.” She said, a smirk crossing her face as Poe and Chewie whipped their heads around.

“Oh! Rey!” Poe’s face flashed with guilt, but only briefly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got everything under control.”

Rey moved forward, leaning against the back of his chair when she noticed he’d reset the controls to less than optimal settings.

“Yeah?” She teased. “You might want to unjam the compressor unit. And that switch there will optimizes fuel usage. You’ve got us draining like we’re landing in a parsec.”

Poe spun his head around and began making the suggested changes. “Alright. You got me there.” He conceded.

Rey sat down behind him and smiled at Chewie knowingly. “I have been flying this ship a little longer than you.”

Poe turned back to her, with a smirk. “Fair enough, Jedi girl. Maybe I’m not as useful as I thought.”

Rey smiled. Poe had an effortless charm about him that drew everyone around him in. Finn and Poe were particularly close, and Finn still sported the jacket Poe had given him before finding her on Jakku.

It seemed impossibly long ago that she had come across Finn and BB-8 on Jakku, forever changing the direction her life would take. But here she was, flying through hyperspace with all that remained of the Resistance, heralded as their best hope, the last Jedi.

Poe got up and let her take the pilot’s seat, brushing up against her as he fell into the chair behind Chewie.

“So, tell me about yourself Rey. I’ve heard lots about you, but I want to hear it from the Jedi herself.”

“There’s not much to know, really.” She replied, fiddling with the control panel.

“Nonsense.” Poe insisted. “You rescued BB-8, and Finn too. They both like you an awful lot. And now you’ve rescued me. What’s the harm in giving me a chance to like you too?”

Rey smiled at that, turning back to him. “You don’t like me already?”

Poe laughed. “Touché.”

Rey was pleased with herself. She’d successfully lightened the otherwise tense mood in the cockpit, and she was warming up to Poe quickly . “What about you?” She asked. “I’m just a scavenger from Jakku. I’m still trying to figure out my place in all of this. You seem to know yours.”

Poe leaned back in his chair, running his hand through his dark curls as his face grew serious. “My parents fought in the Rebellion with Luke and Leia and Han.”

Chewie nodded to himself. He must’ve known Poe’s parents too. Poe looked to the Wookie briefly before turning his gaze back down the hallway of the Falcon. “General Organa has been my hero for as long as I can remember. I just want to make her proud, to do the right thing and be the kind of leader that inspires confidence the way she does. The kind that can keep the Resistance alive and take down the First Order.”

Rey should’ve realized just how close to home these battles hit. Both she and Finn found themselves here more or less by accident. They had no history with the Rebellion or the Republic. But just as she’d known nothing but loneliness and abandonment, Poe had known nothing but duty and legacy. The weight of that appeared to be crushing him.

“You are a great leader Poe. And Leia is proud of you.”

Poe’s gaze shot up to meet hers, his eyes drawing her in, his appreciation clear in their depths. What was it about big, beautiful, brown eyes that stirred her so?

“Thank you Rey. That means a lot. Especially coming from you.”

She smiled at him before turning back to the controls, flexing her fingers over them comfortably. Then her body went stiff. It was back, the familiar buzz tugging at her mind.

Kylo was reaching out for her, his desperation clear and palpable as the bond began to strengthen. She could shut him out, she knew that, but she also knew he wasn’t trying to hurt her. His pull was desperate. Almost as if he was crying out for someone to hear him, much like she’d reached out after the cave, searching for help from the only person who could understand.

She got up abruptly from her chair, startling Poe and Chewie. “Everything okay Rey?” Poe voice filled with concern.

“Yes.” She brushed by him quickly, feeling the cock-pit fade away as the bond strengthened. She needed to find a private place, and quickly. “I’ll be right back...”

“Okay...” Poe moved to take back over the pilot’s position, and it was the last thing she saw clearly as she rushed down the hall, flinging herself into the closest cargo hold she could find and shutting herself inside.

Her surrounding fell away, leaving only his strong force presence behind her. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face him again, but she’d allowed him in this far. It seemed there was no going back now.

She breathed in deeply, readying her self to turn around to face him when his voice broke through the silence. It was soft, deep, desperate.

“Rey...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Force Bond is back baby! 
> 
> Stay tuned...


	6. The Birthright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Force Tinder is back in action everyone! 
> 
> There is a lot happening in this chapter, but it’s a good one. Plus our favorite future couple finally interacts once again. And isn’t that what we all came for? 
> 
> Thanks for the patience. As always, your comments are very appreciated.

His shuttle landed on the platform outside of Vader’s long abandoned castle. The massive building appeared to be melting away, but Kylo knew better. The twin spires were imposing, stretching far into the smoke filled sky and the obsidian walls were immune to the intense heat around them. The planet screamed evil, but Kylo still could not fathom why his grandfather decided to make this hellscape his home.

The stormtrooper guards that were stuck accompanying him were nervous. He could feel it through the Force. Rather than deal with their incessant fear, he cut them off, ordering them to stay by the ship so he could be alone. Unsurprisingly, none of them resisted.

Upon entering, Kylo was met by a space that was large but sparse. It was as if Vader had only inhabited a select few rooms and built the rest for no reason but to intimidate.

The thought amused him. It was something he himself would do. The idea that his grandfather and he were alike appealed to him. At the very least, they both understood the power of the dark side, something his uncle had insisted on fighting, holding both himself and Kylo back from their true potential.

The first room he entered contained a narrow walk way with a window looking out at the molten landscape. Most of the room contained open space that dropped off to an unknown depth on either side. The entire room glowed red from the lava boiling below. He passed through the chamber quickly, finding himself in the room he expected his grandfather had spent most of his time in while here. There was a large bacta chamber in the middle, as there had been on all the major imperial ships. They had been designed specifically for Vader’s use. Kylo knew the great Sith Lord had sustained life threatening injuries that permanently scared and mutilated him, requiring the suit to keep him alive. What he didn’t know was why or how he sustained them. Perhaps that was another answer he could find here today, hidden among his family’s many secrets.

His parents failure to tell him the truth of his bloodline was one of their greatest betrayals. He was not surprised that Luke hid the truth from him. He hid so much from his young apprentice. But Han, Leia...

It was as if they saw him as a monster the moment he was born, not to be trusted with information that would’ve almost certainly turned him had he discovered it. He’d wondered if that was why they were so distant. They saw Vader in him and they feared it. He expected that was the truth of it. His own parents, afraid of the monster they created, isolated him further, in turn writing their own self-fulfilling prophecy.

It didn’t matter now though. He was here and he was going to find the truth. His parents and his uncle were dead to him. Only this legacy mattered now. Luke and Leia had squandered the abilities their father had bestowed upon them. He would not.

The place he sought was not within the castle, but below it. The ancient Sith cave where Vader was said to have meditated. It was here that Kylo could tap into the dark side of the force most clearly in search of his grandfather.

Kylo himself was not a Sith, nor was Snoke. The Sith died with Vader, just as the Jedi would die with Luke. He had no interest in the ancient religion and it’s codes and dogmas. But there was still something powerful and chilling about entering such a place. The cave, like the rest of the planet, seemed to glow red, and the deeper he found himself within it, the more unsettled he became.

Finally he reached the end, where the old symbols and texts were carved into the walls around him. He sat, eyes closed and reached into his surroundings. The Force was strong here, filled passion, power, strength. It flowed through him as he searched, desperate for a sign, a direction of where to look.

“Hey kid.”

Kylo whipped around, standing as he did so, his lightsaber whipping from his side and into his hand. He knew that voice all too well. It was the last one he wanted to hear right now.

_Luke._

“No!” He seethed, furious that his uncle would appear to him in this place. He must’ve done something wrong, made some mistake. “Not you!”

“Nice to see you too.” Luke moved around the cave, appearing to read the symbols along the walls. Kylo said nothing, his anger boiling up inside of him. He knew Luke was not really there, nor was he projecting himself like he had on Crait. He was glowing a dim blue, indicating that he was part of the Force now, no longer of this world.

Luke continued to walk around him, seeming to absorb his surroundings. “You won’t find what you’re looking for here.”

“How would you know?” Kylo spit out between clenched teeth, his hands balling into tight fists. “This is Lord Vader’s palace.”

“Vader is gone.” Luke turned back to look at him, “You are searching for your grandfather...”

“Vader is my grandfather!” Kylo yelled.

“No,” Luke shook his head. “Anakin Skywalker was your grandfather. And he never came to this place.”

“I’m done with your lies.” Kylo screamed out, his hatred for his uncle consuming him. He wished he could kill him again, here and now, but the man insisted on torturing him from beyond the grave as well.

“Ben,” Luke’s voice grew soft, “I want you to find the answers you’re looking for, the ones your mother and I never got. But you won’t find them here.” He took a step closer to Kylo, standing directly before him. “I’m only trying to save you some time.”

Then Luke was gone. Kylo stood there, his anger boiling over into pain and confusion. He had come all this way to find answers, to find purpose, only to be left exactly where he started.

More alone than he’d ever felt before, he collapsed to his knees, his body shaking in pain and desperation. He was losing control. There was only one other person in the galaxy who could understand what he was going through, who could relate to his need to find the truth, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

Then he felt it. The force bond that had been closed since Crait was opening up again. He pushed, hoping desperately that she wouldn’t close him out.

The buzzing grew louder and then it faded, as all noise fell away and only she was there.

“Rey...” he breathed.

                 ————————

At the sound of her name she spun around to find him exactly as she’d last seen him: on his knees. His eyes were filled with surprise as he looked up at her, the shape and color so familiar now.

She swallowed hard. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, so much anger she wanted to express.

After everything they’d gone through together he’d still tried to kill her, to kill them all. She could not forgive him for that. Yet as she looked down at him, crumpled in pain on the floor, all of those thoughts were washed away and concern took over.

“Ben?” He looked down at the sound of his birth name. “What happened?”

She saw him suck in a deep breath before he stood. He towered over her, but for the first time the height difference did not intimidate her. This time he needed her, not the other way around.

“I didn’t think you would...” His voice was so soft, it pained her to listen.

“I’m here.” She replied, watching as his face morphed from surprise to relief. “Care to tell me why?”

He flinched slightly at her tone but recovered quickly. It would’ve been too much to expect her to forgive him so easily. She hadn’t shut him out this time. That would have to be enough.

He looked off at his surroundings as he began to tell her where he was and what he was doing there. She’d never heard of Mustafar, but Luke told her about the Sith, and she could feel the dark energy pulsing around him.

“I thought I’d find answers here.” His gaze returned to the floor as he turned back, “Instead I found more questions.”

As she took in his words she realized why he’d sought her out. It was exactly what she’d experienced on Ahch-To. Even if they were enemies, she was the only person that would understand.

Rey took a step toward him, closing the space much as she had in the elevator on the Supremacy. The intimacy of the moment surprised her, but it felt right. He’d been there for her in her weakest moment. Now it was her turn to return that gift to him.

“Then we will find you answers.”

His eyes shot up and pierced her own, his thoughts loud and filled with confusion. He was unsure, weary of her promises. They were enemies, no doubt, on opposite sides of this war. And she’d left him before, after he’d offered her everything. Why would she help him now?

To Rey the answer was simple. If Kylo was seeking answers from Vader, then he was unsure of his path forward. There was still hope to find the light in him. This was her opportunity to help him get there.

“We?” He questioned bitterly. “I thought there was no we.”

She looked down at his gloved hands, noting that they were tightly clenched. Then she looked up, meeting his gaze, his eyes accusatory and reserved.

“There could be.”

The words came out without her realizing the implication and she felt his shock through the force. Even she was surprised she’d said them. But she meant it. Her vision had shown them standing side by side, united. She’d failed to make that vision a reality in the throne room, but that did not mean it could not still come to fruition.

His look of surprise was the last thing she saw before the bond closed again, leaving her alone in the cramped cargo hold. She’d expected to be angry with him, to have their first confrontation following Crait be filled with spite and disgust. Instead she’d made him a promise, one that she had no idea how to keep.

“Rey?” There was a banging on the door of the cargo hold. She heard Finn’s voice from outside. “Are you alright?”

Rey yanked the door open and was met by Finn’s look of concern. “You okay?” He looked past her, searching the hold for some clue as to what she was doing in there. “I thought I heard you talking to someone.”

“I’m fine.” She lied. “I was just, uh, adjusting something.”

He didn’t look convinced. “In the cargo hold?”

“Yes. I thought Han might’ve stored it in here.”

“Ok...” Finn’s confused look did not fade as he changed the subject. “Well, we are making planet fall soon. Poe was looking for you.”

“Great, thanks!” Rey slid past him, thankful for an excuse to get away from the awkward encounter. She hated lying to Finn, but he would never understand. Thankfully she was finally going to escape the crowded confines of this ship. The next time the bond opened itself, she prayed to the Maker that she would be totally alone.


	7. The Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo’s POV and a Knight of Ren’s return. 
> 
> Let me now what you think. I went out on a limb with this one a bit.

Kylo stood frozen as his vision refocused on the cave around him. His mind was racing, trying to piece together the encounter he just had with Rey. He’d expected their next meeting to be hostile. This had been anything but. She’d been kind and understanding, willing to listen to him just as he had done for her.

It made no sense. They were enemies. They should hate each other. But once again he realized the truth he was trying so hard to suppress: he could never hate her. She was his opposite in so many ways, and yet she was also the same. So lonely, so powerful. His equal in the light.

And now she offered to help him yet again. She’d made him a promise, to help him find what he was seeking. Seeing how he had no idea where to start himself, it seemed a promise she was unlikely to keep. But she had made it all the same.

_There could be._

The words shocked him, but he knew she meant it. She still held onto the hope that he would turn. That was foolish. He’d been sure she’d given up after the throne room. He’d seen it in her eyes when the bond closed for the last time on Crait.

Or had he? There had been no compassion, but there was not anger either. Certainly she was disappointed in him. She’d made that clear following his desperate plea for her to stay with him. She would not follow him down this path. She’d chosen her worthless resistance friends over the unlimited power he offered her.

Now, though, he wondered if there could be another way.

He stared ahead at the Sith marking on the wall of the cave, glowing red from the lava behind them. This place was a relic, a mausoleum for long dead things that would never return. If he could not find Vader here, then there was no use for this place as anything but a reminder of what had come to pass.

For all his talk about killing the past, Vader was the one piece he did not want to escape from. All of his pain seemed to be a result of the choices his grandfather had made. The Jedi were not supposed to have children, yet here he was, a direct descended of the most powerful force user in history. He needed to know why. He needed to know what it was that made him a monster.

He stormed from the cave, making his way through the halls of the castle, barely taking in his surroundings as he did so. He may not have found his grandfather, but the trip would not be a complete waste. He could destroy this Sith stronghold, wiping out another obstacle in his path. Even if he had not found the answers he’d wanted, he had a name, he had a focus.

And now, somehow, he might even have Rey.

As he strode out from the castle, he reached out with the force, allowing his anger and hatred to fuel him. He could feel the building towering behind him. This would be a difficult task, but it was one he was determined to accomplish. He raised his hands, pulling the force around the castle to him and he pushed, crushing down with all the power he had. The towers began to crack above him and he heard the shocked screams of the stormtroopers as they waited by his shuttle.

His forehead dripped with sweat as he focused all his energy on the task at hand. The effort was beyond anything he had ever attempted before, yet he knew he would not fail. He could feel the castle crumbling down to ruins, falling in on itself as the lava overtook the broken spires.

At last he heard the fortress crash down, his signal to let go. Gravity and lava would take care of the rest.

He collapsed to the ground for a moment, collecting himself as his guards rushed toward him. The effort of such a task should’ve killed him, of that he was certain. Yet as he raised a hand to signal for the guard to stop, he noticed that his body was not as weak as he’d expected.

He felt strong. Stronger than he’d ever felt before. This was his power, his birthright. He would not only finish what his grandfather started, he would make it better. He would destroy all ties to that old, antiquated way of life and bring about a new order.

Kylo stood, not bothering to turn back to see the ruins of Vader’s once tall and intimidating home. There was nothing left there that he did not already know.

All that he needed was ahead of him.

                 ————————

Upon his return to the Finalizer Kylo was greeted by a welcome sight: the first of his returning Knights of Ren.

The Sniper, Tizo Ren, was one of Kylo’s best knights. They had been close during their time at Luke’s temple and he proved to be an invaluable asset in the months following its destruction. He was reliable and ruthless, exactly what Kylo needed to track down the Resistance.

“Master.” Tizo knelt before him in the hangar, head bowed. His voice was distorted by the mask, but Kylo recognized his soldier’s raspy tone behind the mechanization.

“Rise Tizo.” Kylo stood before his fellow knight looking into his masked eyes and felt a slight smile curl on his lips. “It’s good to see you.”

“You as well, Master.” Tizo nodded his agreement.

Kylo turned to lead them through the stormtroopers that lined the hangar. “You are the first to answer my summons. You must not have been far.”

“No, Master. Eriadu.” Tizo replied, walking beside him.

“And?”

“One target was neutralized.” Tizo looked around, making sure no one was close enough to hear before he continued. “With regard to the other, I came across some information that may be of interest.”

Kylo stopped, turning to Tizo.

Tizo moved closer, lowering his voice. “Calrissian is not on Corellia. He hasn’t been for some time.”

Kylo stopped at the sound of that familiar name. Snoke had sent the Knights of Ren on missions to rat out any former Rebellion leadership that had not openly joined the Resistance. Lando Calrissian was at the top of the list of targets.

The last time Kylo had seen Calrissian he was still going by his birth name. He’d been like an uncle to him in ways that Luke never was. When Kylo was a boy, Han Solo would take him to visit Calrissian on the planet of Corellia, where he was running a freight enterprise. According to all reports, that was where he still should’ve been found all these years later. This new information could mean only one thing: he’d slipped into hiding.

“I see.” Kylo turned and continued walking, trying to quell his frustration. “Do you have any leads?”

“Only rumors. If I could access the Imperial records...”

“You can have access to whatever you need.” Kylo stated firmly. “Find Calrissian. There is a good chance we will find the remaining Resistance scum along with him.”

“Of course Master.” Tizo bowed his head and retreated, leaving Kylo to stalk his way through the halls of the Finalizer toward his chambers.

He knew his hunch was correct. If there was one person left in the galaxy that Leia Organa would trust in her most desperate hour, it was Lando Calrissian. That was where she would go.

Now he just needed to find out where the smooth talking smuggler had slid off to.


	8. The Smuggler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite smooth-talking scoundrel is back in action ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than most, but I promise more is on the way soon.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and as always, I love to hear your feedback and thoughts.

“Leia!” The sound of Lando Calrissian’s smooth voice was more welcome than she’d expected it to be.

He nearly ran to her as she stepped down from the Falcon’s ramp, pulling her into a warm embrace. “When I heard about Han...” he stepped back, his hands remaining protectively on her shoulders. “It’s not true, is it?”

Leia knew what Lando was asking, but she could not bear to answer him. Lando had not seen Ben since he was a boy, before he’d gone off to train with Luke. While he was one of the few people that knew what Ben had become, he would never be able to understand why.

Instead she dropped her head and sighed. It was all the answer he needed.

“No...” his shock and pain broke open the wound she was trying so desperately to keep sealed and she was grateful that Chewie stepped down with a greeting to relieve her for a moment.

“Chewbacca.” Lando stepped aside to hug his Wookie friend, his voice dripping in sorrow and empathy. “I’m so sorry. Both of you... I’m just so sorry.”

Leia took Lando’s hands in her own and squeezed gently. “Thank you Lando. And thank you for taking us in. I know this is a risk.”

“Nonsense.” Lando replied shaking his head. “It’s the least I can do. I know how much you hate this place.”

Leia looked past him, the familiar sight of Bespin’s brightly colored clouds bringing back memories she had long suppressed. He was right, she had hoped never to return to this place. But she had come here with Han all those years ago, and despite the hardship they’d endured, there was something oddly comforting about that connection.

Lando looked back to Chewie. “You’ve still got this hunk of junk I see? Who’ve you roped into flying it with you now?”

“AAAAAARGH.” Chewie cried out, looking toward Rey as she descended down the ramp. Her eyes shot up as Chewie called for her. Leia smiled slightly and waved her over to join them.

“Rey, this is Lando Calrissian.” Leia gestured to their host. “He owned the Falcon before Han and Chewie.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you Rey.” Lando took her hand and kissed it, his charisma shining through despite his sadness. “How did a pretty thing like you find yourself responsible for this piece of garbage?”

Rey blushed as Lando let go of her hand, looking to Leia for guidance. “By accident really. I needed to escape. And then Han and Chewie found us.”

Lando nodded approvingly. “Well, it’s good to see she’s in good hands. Take care of Chewbacca. Lord knows he needs it.”

Chewie let out a roar of displeasure and Rey smiled before stepping away to help the others unload the ship. Leia turned and walked along the pathway with Lando.

“She knew Han?” Lando questioned once they were safely out of earshot.

“And Luke.” Leia nodded. “She went to him to become a Jedi. She’s powerful, more powerful than I think she realizes.”

Lando spun around to get a second look at Rey before turning back. “Leia... What happened to..”

Leia dropped her head, knowing what Lando was trying to ask. “It’s a long story.”

They were interrupted before she had to say more by Poe Dameron running down the walkway.

“General!” He huffed as he came to a halt before them.

“Poe.” Leia stopped. “This is Lando Calrissian. Lando, this is Commander Poe Dameron.”

“Dameron?” Lando’s face lit up in recognition. “You must be Kes Dameron and Shara Bey’s son.”

“Yes sir.” Poe said proudly.

Lando smiled and offered his hand in a firm handshake. “Your mother was one of the best pilots I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen some damn good pilots. I flew with her many times.”

“I heard the stories.” Poe smiled proudly. It was amusing to watch these two men interact, both oozing with charm despite themselves. “It’s an honor to meet you General.”

Lando laughed lightly. “I’m no general anymore. But it is a great pleasure to meet you Commander. Your parents were brave fighters. I was lucky to know them.”

“Thank you sir.” Poe hesitated before continuing, but Leia sensed his urgency.

“What is it Poe?”

“It’s Rose. We want to get her to medical facility as quickly as possible.” Poe gestured to the Falcon, where Finn and Rey were currently wheeling the unconscious girl on a gurney.

“Of course.” Lando turned to his aide, Lobot, and nodded as the half-human cyborg began hacking into the cities system. “Bring her this way. We will set her up immediately.” Lando ushered Rey and Finn inside with the gurney before turning back to Poe and Leia. “Is there anything else you need?”

“Yes, actually.” Poe replied. “If you have any spare ships, we would be grateful if we could borrow them. We have a lot of recruiting to do.”

Lando nodded. “You’ll find many friends here, but you aren’t likely to find many recruits. We have no reason to risk our lives against the First Order. At least, not yet.”

“And we won’t ask it of your people. Providing us shelter and a way to get to those who would join us is more than enough.”

Leia looked up at Poe proudly. She loved his hot-headed, passionate nature. It reminded her of Han. But that wasn’t what the Resistance needed, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would be around to guide them. It gave her immense relief to see that Poe was finally turning into the wise leader that she always knew he could be.

He set off to help Rey and Finn with Rose and Leia took hold of the arm that Lando offered her as they stepped through the threshold. The last time she had been inside Cloud City, she and Han had been used as a trap by Vader, all barely escaping with their lives. This time she had a strange feeling that she would not be so lucky.


	9. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some say dreams tell us our deepest desires...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a personal favorite of mine and I’m sure you’ll see why. I can’t wait to hear what you all think!

It was night on the planet Bespin by the time Rey rose from a restful sleep. The room she was given was white and clean and beautiful, unlike anything Rey could’ve even imagined.

And the bed. Oh the bed.

It may have been the first time she’d ever slept on something so warm and soft with real blankets to cover her. In a different life she would’ve insisted that she never leave the plush pillows and silky sheets, but that was not her fate. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep, but based on the sky outside, it was unlikely that many others would be awake with her. This was her opportunity to get her bearings undisturbed.

Pulling on the clothes that had been left for her, Rey stepped outside of her room and followed the long silent halls, exploring every open space until she reached what she knew must’ve been the medical facility. She could feel Finn’s signature pulsing from within and decided to approach.

He was sitting beside Rose, brushing her hair back as Rey entered.

“Want some company?” She offered, echoing his words from the gun compartment.

Finn looked up, surprised by her appearance in the doorway. “Kriff, Rey. Are you trying to scare me to death?”

Rey smiled guiltily. “Ideally no.”

Finn smirked as he grabbed a nearby seat, gesturing her to join him. “You look nice.”

Rey looked down at the outfit she’d put on, having barely taken notice of it before. The pants were thick, and the long tunic that dropped down to mid-thigh was cinched at the waist by a belt, accentuating her figure. It was a deeper color than she was used to wearing, a maroon that bordered on purple. The clothes were far nicer than anything she’d ever worn and she suddenly felt out of place in them.

“Thanks.” She blushed deeply as she moved to look over Rose. “How is she?”

“Better.” Finn replied. “The medical droid said she’ll probably wake up soon. I didn’t want her to be alone.”

Rey gave him a small smile as she moved to sit next to the bed. “You should sleep. I’ll stay with her in case she does.” 

He looked exhausted, but his concern was more pressing. “I’ll try and sleep here.”

Rey nodded silently as her friend leaned back against the wall. It didn’t take long before he was snoring lightly, the lack of sleeping finally catching up with him. 

Rey sat back as well, relaxing herself against the bed Rose was laying on. She allowed her thoughts to wander back to her last force bond interaction with Kylo. She hadn’t had much time to think on the promise she’d made him. Now, sitting here in the silent safety of Cloud City’s medical facility, there were no more distractions to keep her mind from running there.

The promise to help him find answers had been easy, but in practice she had no idea where to begin. Leia was the only person who might have information about the man who was once Anakin Skywalker. She supposed it was worth asking her what she might know, but it seemed unlikely that she would tell Rey more than she’d told her own son.

Her second promise was less straightforward. _There could be._

Rey thought back on the vision she’d seen when they’d touched. Ben Solo stood beside her. Not Kylo Ren. His anger and hate were gone and there was balance between them.

She’d felt it when they fought together against Snoke’s guards. But then it had broken, just like the lightsaber.She couldn’t help but wonder if that battle, fought as allies, had been all her vision had intended to show her.

No. The vision felt more permanent than just that fleeting moment in time. She was sure of it. There was still hope for that future. He just needed to see it too. 

Rey looked at Finn and Rose, both asleep in the stark white room. They looked so peaceful.

She leaned back, head dropping back beside Rose’s still legs as she closed her eyes. 

Behind them she saw the beautiful, haunted brown ones that she was beginning to know too well. They were drawing her in, pulling her deep into her dreams...

————————

_Her eyes open to a stunning landscape unlike anything she’d imagined before. She is on a balcony, a tall tree growing out from below providing shade. She is looking out over a beautiful blue body of water set against a magnificent green mountainside. The air is warm but comfortable and she is utterly engrossed in the beauty of her surroundings._

_“Do you like it?”_

_Rey stiffens. She knows that voice, yet it sounds different somehow. Her suspicion is confirmed as she looks back to find Ben standing behind her. She nearly gasps at the sight of him. He is no longer wearing black. Instead he is draped in a loose grey shirt and dark pants. His face is less gaunt than she remembered and his hands are ungloved._

_She turns all the way around to face him and he walks toward her slowly, his hands crossed behind his back. He looks so relaxed, she is almost certain it can’t be the same man._

_Yet the closer he comes, the more certain she is that it is him. His eyes are the same shape and color, although they are now soft and inviting. And while his skin has regained its color, his face still bares the scar she gave him in the woods on Starkiller base._

_He moves to stand beside her at the edge of the balcony, looking out over the lake below. “This place belonged to my grandmother’s family. She came here with my grandfather. It’s where they fell in love.”_

_Rey turns back around, her eyes still roaming over him. Ben tilts his head to look down at her, a slight smile appearing on his lips._

_“What is it?” He questions, amused by the shocked expression on her face._

_Rey turns quickly to look back out over the lake, embarrassed that he’d caught her staring. “It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”_

_Ben’s eyes light up as he watches her and he gently moves his hand over hers, taking it in his own. “We can stay here. If you’d like. It can be our home.”_

_Rey looks up, meeting his eyes directly for the first time. They are full of emotion, but a different emotion then she’d ever seen in them before. If she didn’t know better she would think he was looking at her with affection, adoration, maybe even... was it... love?_

_Then he lifts his other hand, their bodies turning in sync to face each other as he gently caresses her cheek. She can feel her face growing hotter, her body reacting to his touch, but she doesn’t flinch away. She wants to be there, to feel his skin on hers._

 “ _Rey...”_


	10. The Awakening

Rey was jerked awake suddenly by movement below her. Disoriented from the dream she had not wanted to wake from, she shot up and saw Rose stirring on the bed. She stood quickly, grabbing at Finn to wake him. 

“What.. what is it?” He stumbled up off the bed, disoriented from being jolted awake unexpectedly. 

“Look!” Rey exclaimed, gesturing toward Rose. “She’s moving!”

Finn’s eyes lit up as Rose made a small, indistinguishable noise, her nose crinkling up. Finn grabbed her hand as they waited for Rose’s eyes to flutter open. When they did, Finn’s full body sigh of relief made Rey smile. 

Rose’s eyes squinted tightly as she tried to orient herself to the world she now found herself in. “Finn?” 

“Rose!” Finn exclaimed leaning down and pulling the girl into a hug. “You’re okay!”

“I think so...” Rose tried to sit up slowly. “Where am I?”  

Finn chimed in then, glancing at Rey. “We are on the planet Bespin.” 

“Bespin...” Rose’s eyes wandered around the room, her voice distant. “I’ve never heard of Bespin...”

Then Rose’s eyes fell upon Rey. “Who are you?” She asked, still in a state of confusion. 

Finn looked to Rey. “Rose, this is Rey. She rescued us from Crait on the Millennium Falcon. And now we are hiding out here.” 

Rose focused on Rey another moment before a realization seemed to dawn on her. She repositioned herself on the bed and offered her hand. “It is good to meet you Rey. Finn never stops talking about you.” 

Rey smiled at Rose. “I’ve been waiting to finally meet you too. He’s hardly left your side.” 

Both women turned to look up at Finn, who responded with emphatic shrug. “What can I say? You two mean a lot to me.” 

Rey’s heart swelled as she smiled brightly at her friend. She could feel the change in him now that Rose was finally awake. His relief filled the room. She also sensed his desire to have some time alone with her.  

Rey couldn’t object. She too was desperate to get away. She needed to process the dream she’d been pulled from so abruptly. 

“I’ll go let the others know you’re awake” Rey offered, turning back to Rose. “I’m glad to finally meet you.”

“Same to you.” Rose smiled up at her. 

As Rey turned to leave, she saw Finn settle down beside Rose, taking her hand in his. They were lucky, Rey thought. They could be together. It was uncomplicated in a way her relationship with Ben was not. 

Her dream woke something inside of her that she’d never even realized was there. She wanted to someone to look at her the way Ben had. She wanted to feel him next to her, their hearts racing in tandem, their emotions laid bare. 

It had all been so real. But now it was gone again and she was alone, desperately torn between the visions she wanted to see through and the reality she lived in.

Then I dawned on her. She’d been distracted by his appearance and the strange feelings that tugged at her mind and body. But dream Ben had also given her an important piece of information. They were in a place of significance to Anakin Skywalker. Wherever in the galaxy it was, it was possible that Ben could find the answers he was looking for there. 

She walked quickly from the medical facility and headed down the long hallways, hoping to find a library or data center of some kind. If she was lucky, she could find the answers she needed without having to ask Leia anything at all. 

                    ————————

Kylo woke suddenly, pulled from a dream he had not wanted to end. He’d been standing on a balcony overlooking a beautiful lake view with Rey beside him. She’d looked ethereal, her hair pulled back in a braid not unlike those his mother often wore. Her slim figure was draped in a silver gown that accentuated her muscular shoulders. 

Somehow he’d known this place. In the dream he told her it was part of his family legacy, where his grandparents had formalized their forbidden love. 

_His grandparents._

His mother had never spoken of her birth parents, only her royal family on Alderaan. Yet somehow he knew he’d been right when he told Rey that this place belonged to his grandmother’s family. What he didn’t know was where it was, or who his grandmother had been. He needed to find out. It could be the key to finding Anakin Skywalker. 

He rose from his bed and crossed the room until he stood in front of the window, gazing out at the galaxy that was now his. 

He’d offered to make that place their home. He’d taken Rey’s hand in his own and she hadn’t flinched away. She’d looked up at him with something he did not recognize in her eyes. Was it affection? How could that be? 

 The Force was toying with him, giving him visions of things that were impossible. Even if he could find the lakeside villa from his dream, he would never be able to bring Rey there, to offer it up as their home. After all, there was no “they”. Only two individuals on opposite sides of a war.

Again he was drawn back to what Rey had said during their last force bond. There could be.

Was this what could be? The two of them together on a planet of astounding beauty, looking for a place to make their own. The unspoken promise that they would never be alone again. Was this what he wanted?

He thought he wanted power, but he had that now and it was hollow. He was still alone. He did not even have the voices in his head to provide him some twisted form of company.

Rey’s bright eyes from the dream filled his thoughts again. They were lovely and inviting, promising him a place to belong.

He sighed, allowing his mind to drift back to the lakeside balcony, memorizing every detail for later research.

 If there was one thing he was certain of it was this: one way or another, this girl would be the death of him.


	11. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot ensues...
> 
> This is a plot dense chapter, but it’s necessary to get us where we are going. Thanks for continuing along on the ride!

Breakfast that morning was a far more lively affair than Rey had expected. With the Resistance desperate for any good news, Leia used Rose’s revival as an opportunity to remind them what they were still fighting for.

Poe took that energy and capitalized on it to regroup and start planning their next move.

“Lando has generously offered us two ships. We should use these to begin recruitment. We can’t use the Falcon, it’s too recognizable. But with our current numbers, we can split into two groups and nail down the systems that have been most affected by the First Order’s reign. We’ll hit them first.”

Leia stepped up beside him. “The rest of us will stay here and continue outreach to our remaining allies. We will also try to find a more permanent base.” She turned to her commander. “Commander Dameron will lead our recruitment missions.”

“I know we just settled, but I want to get moving as soon as possible. Chewie has volunteered to captain the second ship. We just need crews. Do we have any volunteers?” Poe’s gaze shot up to Rey and Finn.

“I’m in.” Finn stood immediately, looking down at Rey, still sitting beside him.

Rey didn’t need to think on it. It was safest if she was constantly moving. That way she would not be able to give up their base to Kylo if the force bond opened again. She also knew she would go crazy if she was on this planet too long.

“Me too.” She said, standing beside Finn.

Then Rose moved to stand beside them. “I’m coming too.” Finn spun around, grabbing her arm just in time to keep her from falling.

“You are not. Look at you. You can hardly stand.”

Rose stood up tall, trying to bring herself to match Finn’s height stubbornly. “I can too. And besides, I don’t need to stand to convince people to fight the First Order.”

“No,” Poe agreed, stepping forward with a smirk on his face. “But you may need to fight. And you’ll almost certainly need to run.”

Rose looked around desperately until her eyes met Rey’s,her stubborn intensity clear. Rey knew that Rose would not give up. She admired her for it.

“You asked for volunteers.” Rey said, stepping up to stand beside her. “If Rose wants to come, then I say she should come.”

Finn turned to her exasperated. “Rey! You can’t be serious!”

“Well I am.” She snapped back.“We need every body we have, fully recovered or not.”

“The Jedi has spoken.” Poe said clapping once and winking at Rey. “I’d like to see you try and stop these two Finn.” 

Finn threw up his arms dramatically and fell back into his chair.

“Then it’s settled.” Leia said. “Chewie, Finn and Rose will take one ship and Poe and Rey will take the other. We will work to determine your destinations shortly. Any questions?” 

As everyone muttered their contentment and moved to disperse, Rose turned to Rey.

“Thank you Rey.”

“Of course.” Rey smiled at her. “I know how hard it is sit and wait.”

Rose nodded gratefully as they both turned back to Poe, Finn and Chewie. They’d wasted no time jumping into discussions of which systems they would be setting off to.

“...the moons of Naboo have always been a breeding ground of anti-imperial sentiment.” Poe offered.

Finn chimed in. “Isn’t Naboo where the Emperor Palpatine was from?”

“Yes, but the Naboo have no love him.” Leia added. “Especially after the Imperial fleet attempted to make the planet uninhabitable when he fell.” Leia and Poe exchanged a knowing glance.

_Naboo._

Rey had spent the remaining hours of the morning pouring over holonet records, trying to discover the world she had been taken to in her dream. She’d found a few planets that were known for having lakes and had narrowed her search to Shili, Elian, and Naboo.

Naboo seemed to be the best fit from what little she could gather from the data center. Not to mention that the connection to the Emperor seemed too important to be ignored.

But if that were true, then Naboo was the last place they should be headed. Even if she held off on telling Kylo about her discovery, she could not guarantee that he would not find it first. They would be flying themselves directly into his hands. 

Leia seemed to sense her hesitation and met her gaze as she offered a new plan. “Perhaps you should hold off on hitting a planet of such a high profile. There are many smaller systems with known Resistance sympathizers that will be safer and more discrete.”

“We should go to the Otomok system.” Rose offered. “That is where my sister and I were born. The First Order has harvested our children and resources for years. They are hated there.” She looked up at Finn. “And I know my way around.”

“Alright.” Poe agreed. “And where should Rey and I start?”

Everyone turned to look at her, but she had no idea why. She knew next to nothing about the galaxy at large, having spent all of her life in the desert of Jakku.

“Why are you looking at me?” She questioned.

“Rey, did Luke tell you anything about his temple? Where it was or who was there?” Leia asked.

She thought on it for a moment. “No, he didn’t. Why?”

Leia turned away, pondering as she raised her hand to her chin. “You no longer have a working lightsaber. You’ll need to make a new one. Perhaps you and Poe should start by searching for a lost Jedi outpost. Luke once told me of an ice planet called Ilum where young Jedi would go to build lightsabers. You may find something of use there.”

Rey stared at Leia for a moment in shock. She was right, Rey did need to find a way to repair her lightsaber, but she didn’t see how that would help the Resistance. It seemed like a waste of a ship and of Poe’s time. 

“Are you sure?” Rey questioned. “I don’t want to take Poe away from the mission.”

“You wouldn’t be.” Poe stepped up. “You’re our secret weapon now. If this is something you need to do, then it’s our responsibility to make sure you have everything you need.” 

“He’s right Rey.” Finn agreed. “We can recruit. We can’t have you going without a lightsaber if we have to face Kylo Ren again.”

Rey looked to Leia, whose eyes shined bright with hope for the first time since she’d told her of the force bond. She was pushing her thoughts through the force. _Do this Rey._

After a moment she nodded.

“Alright. Then the plan is set.” Poe said rubbing his hands together. “Rey and I will head to Ilum in search of whatever it is you need for this lightsaber. Chewie, Finn and Rose will head to the Otomok system. We will rendezvous back here unless we hear otherwise from you General. Get some rest everyone. We leave tomorrow.”

As the team moved to disperse, Leia caught Rey’s arm. “We should talk.”

Rey nodded and followed the General to a window seat overlooking the gaseous clouds outside. Leia grabbed Rey’s hands in her own, squeezing gently. The

“You didn’t want to go to Naboo.” Leia wasn’t asking and Rey knew she could not lie to her.

“I... I think Ben is going there.”

Leia sat back, her eyes drifting out the window as she took in what Rey said. After a moment she continued, still looking away.

“Why would he go to Naboo?”

Rey debated how much she should tell Leia, but the reality was that there was no way to avoid giving her the truth.

“He’s searching for Anakin Skywalker. I can’t explain why, but I think he must have some connection to Naboo.”

 Leia sighed, her hands dropping from Rey’s. “I never knew who my birth parents were. I never wanted to. I loved my parents and was content with the family I had.” Rey could hear the sadness in her voice as she spoke.

“The last time I was on Naboo I saw a painting in the royal palace. It was of a beautiful young women, a former queen. I was drawn to it but I didn’t know why. Then the portrait turned and looked down at me, the women’s eyes filling with tears.” Leia looked up at Rey. “I think she was my mother.” 

Yes, Rey thought. That would be explain what Ben had said in her dream. “Did you ever learn anything about her? The queen?” 

“Some.” Leia continued. “Her name was Padmé Amidala. She was queen during the Naboo Crisis ten years before the Clone Wars broke out. Then she represented Naboo as a senator and worked closely with my father, Bail Organa. She died as the Clone Wars came to an end of unknown causes.” Leia looked back out at the sky. “It all lines up. I think it must be true.”

Rey felt Leia’s sadness through the force. She too wanted to understand what had led her family to this point, just like her son.

Silence spread between them as Leia got lost in her own thoughts. Finally, she turned back, her gaze resting on her hands in her lap. “I hope he finds the answers he’s searching for, the ones I was too weak to give him.”

Rey took Leia’s hands in her own and met the General’s gaze. Leia Organa was anything but weak. She’d been through more hardship and experienced more heartbreak than most people could bear and still she stood tall. Seeing her in this moment of weakness, Rey wanted nothing more than to give her whatever peace and comfort she could offer.

“He will.” She said confidently. “I know he will.”


	12. The Supreme Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little force bond, a little angry Hux, a lot of Kylo being Kylo.

Kylo Ren’s body sat before his council of generals aboard the Finalizer, but his mind was somewhere else entirely.

The force bond had opened up again that day and he’d been distracted ever since. Somehow, Rey had pieced together enough information to point him in a direction. That was far more than he’d ever expected, especially in so little time.

He ran over the conversation in his head again.

_“I found something.”_

_Rey initiated the contact, but she was clearly rushed, distracted by something around her._

_“What?” He’d replied, surprised that she’d managed to discover anything at all, much less in so little time._

_“Naboo. I... I can’t explain why, but I think you should go to Naboo.”_

_He stared at her for a moment, trying to read her thoughts, but she was guarding them closely._

_“Where are you?”_

_Her eyes narrowed into a glare. “Why would I tell you?”_

_He looked her over, trying to get a read on the situation she was in. She looked different, dressed in clothes far more expensive than anything she’d ever worn before. That all but confirmed his hunch that the Resistance had met up with Lando Calrissian. The sly smuggler was nothing if not generous, particularly with his female guests._

_He knew he wouldn’t get anywhere with that line of questioning, so he moved on. “You seem distracted.”_

_Kylo felt around the force bond, sensing a familiar presence around her. It was the traitor, FN-2187. And that pilot, Dameron. He recognized the signature of the mind he had probed._

_She looked behind her, likely at the men he could not see and then turned back to him, her eyes giving away her concern. “No.”_

_Sensing that it was futile to press the matter, he turned instead to the information she was giving him. He wanted to believe her, but it was just as likely that she was lying, trying to send him into a trap. “Why should I trust you?”_

_Rey’s gaze grew soft suddenly, as if she was recalling a memory. She looked down at her feet. “I had a dream. It was... you were...” She was embarrassed, unable to look him in the eyes. “I learned something about your grandmother.” She rushed through the words and then she looked up. “And your mother confirmed it.”_

_Kylo flinched slightly at the mention of his mother. He had not confronted Rey about what had happened with the visions and this reminder brought back the pain and anger he’d pushed back down. “You told her. You told her about... this?”_

_“Yes.” Rey met his gaze, her defiant confidence returning. “But you knew that. You were there.”_

_He turned away from her, trying to control the emotions that were building within him._

_“Ben.” He flinched at the sound of his name. Her voice was full of pity, something he could not tolerate. “Those memories...”_

_“They mean nothing. You should never have seen them. She should never have shown them to you.” He curled his hands into fists, his anger pulsing through the Force. It was easier to be angry than to deal with the pain. “She should be dead.”_

_Rey recoiled from him and he realized she must not have known what had happened in the battle before Crait._

_Her thoughts darkened and her face hardened before she spit out the last of her words. “I’ve told you what I know. Do with it what you want.”_

_When he’d looked back up she was gone._

“Supreme Leader?” Kylo’s head whipped around at the sound of Armitage Hux’s nasel voice.

He glared at his general, pulled once again from his thoughts. “Yes?”

“What is your decision?”

Kylo looked between his generals and decided to probe into the mind of General Livanth, who was sitting nervously at the far end of the table, to find what it was he supposed to be deciding upon.

_Don’t send the fleet to Coruscant. Please. Find some other action._

Kylo smirked to himself. The general was giving himself away. He had family in the former capital. He wanted to keep them safe.

He turned to Hux and quickly probed for his opinion. He, of course, wanted to take the planet and secure the First Order’s power structure there.

“We will begin preparations, but will not move our fleet to Coruscant yet.”

Livanth’s relief was palpable, as was Hux’s anger.

“Supreme Leader, there is no point in waiting. We need to take Coruscant now if we...”

“No.” Kylo cut him off, tightening the force around Hux’s throat just enough to make him aware of his hold. “We do not need to take Coruscant now. The Resistance is in ruins and the Republic is destroyed. There is no one to stand in our way. We will wait until we have a finalized plan for reorganization. I want this to be a smooth take-over with minimal casualties. We have no room for error.” 

Hux’s face was full of disdain, but Kylo ignored it. “Make the necessary arrangements. Once I see a report that indicates we have a _competent_ plan in place, I will give the approval. That is all.”

 The rest of the generals stood, bowed their heads and left the room, but Hux remained, glaring daggers at him.

“These generals may cower before you, but I will not allow you to squander this opportunity to solidify our hold on the galaxy once and for all.” Hux stood bravely before him. “You may hide behind your strange powers, but this army is MINE. I need not remind you of their loyalty.”

Kylo stood then, still taller than Hux and able to intimidate him by sheer size. “And I need not remind you, General Hux, that I can read your thoughts. They betray you.” He stood mere inches from the irritating man but resisted using the force as a weapon against him this time. His old ways weren’t working, but perhaps this new threat would. “You will do as I command or you will find that your deepest fears will become a reality.”

Hux’s face went white and he swallowed hard.

 “Now,” Kylo lowered his voice threateningly. “Get out of my sight.”

Hux bowed his head quickly and rushed from the room, clearly more threatened by Kylo’s newest power play than the force chokes he had become accustom to. That was interesting. Perhaps it would be worth rummaging through the man’s mind to find out exactly what it was he feared so much.

Finally alone, Kylo pulled for the datapad with the force, letting it fly into his hand. He walked over to the window, standing before it as he searched for the Naboo system. He recognized the name from his history lessons as a child.

Sheev Palpatine’s home planet had been at the forefront of a trade dispute that allowed the then-Senator to rise to power ten years before the Clone Wars. From there he continued to seek more power and eventually transformed the old Galactic Republic into the Empire that his own parents had worked so hard to destroy.

The planet’s involvement in the galactic disputes leading up to the Clone Wars made it likely that there would’ve been a Jedi presence, but that didn’t explain why Anakin would’ve been connected to it, nor did it explain the other aspect of Rey’s suggestion.

She had mentioned a dream, one that sounded oddly similar to the one he’d had only a night ago when he had offered to make his grandmother’s family home their own. He hadn’t considered that she may have shared that vision with him. He was less sure about how he felt knowing she had.

They’d been together, clearly involved with each other in a way that seemed impossible. If they had seen the same vision, he shared her obvious embarrassment at the intimacy of the encounter. But he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that she was most uncomfortable with. If it was the idea of him as anything but a monster, well, that was strange for him as well. But if it was something more... some other desire that she didn’t know had been there....

No. Those were foolish hopes. If they had truly shared this dream, it was because the Force had wanted to guide them to this answer. And if the Force wanted them to discover Naboo then Rey was right. His best chance to connect with Anakin and to learn the truth of his family history was to go to the place where it all began.

Turning from the window, he exited the meeting chamber and ordered the stormtroopers that waited guard to ready his ship.

He would not have much time, but he’d given himself an opportunity by pushing back the invasion of Coruscant. On top of that, Naboo would be a valuable system to have as an ally. He could pretend that the trip was a political one by meeting briefly with the Queen in Theed. That would provide him enough cover to avoid suspicion from his generals.

He pulled out his communicator and alerted Tizo to his plans. He would have to rely on the Knight to keep Hux from doing anything reckless in his absence.

Somehow, he doubted that would be enough.


	13. The Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crews prepare to leave, but Leia has one final message for Rey before they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is tough for me, especially diving into Last Shot. I love Han and Leia, and it is so hard to accept the damage they did to their own child. But! All is not lost. They loved him, and I truly believe he loved them too. 
> 
> And so, without further ado, we continue.

Rey did not sleep well that night. After her conversation with Leia she’d pulled at the force bond and found Kylo waiting at the other end.

She knew better, but she’d still hoped to see the healthy, happy man dream Rey clearly adored. Instead she saw the same gaunt face and haunted eyes she’d come to know too well in recent months. She was surprised to find how much that upset her.

She could sense the conflict in him after she’d mentioned his mother. He was angry that she’d seen the memories from Leia, but when he’d spit out that she should be dead, Rey cut him off.

Try as she might, she would never be able to understand how he could be so heartless toward his own mother. Despite everything he’d done, she still loved her son. Rey would’ve given anything to have parents that cared half as much.

Instead she’d turned her focus to the Jedi texts she’d stolen from Ahch-To, desperately searching for any useful information on how to build a lightsaber, hoping that would distract her from the wild and dangerous thoughts racing through her mind.

She’d had no luck by the time Poe knocked on her door as a wake up call, instead packing the books along with what few belongings she had in her sack and heading out for one final meal.

Saying goodbye to her friends was much harder than she’d expected. The last time she’d headed out it had been in search of Luke. She’d been so sure of her mission then, yet no part of it had gone as she’d expected. While she was no longer concerned that Finn would not wake up, she had no idea if they would be able to find the mythical planet in the first place. She hated feeling as though they were wasting time and resources on something that only benefitted her. 

There was also a nagging feeling deep within her that warned of danger ahead. Something was coming, she just didn’t know what. All she knew was the Resistance could not stay on Bespin for long.

Lando gifted each crew member enough supplies and gear to get through over three months in open space. Rey had never owned a coat before, but the large one she now sported would’ve come in handy during the long nights on Jakku.

“I bet this is a new one for you.” Finn laughed as she flung the fur hood up over her face. Rey just smiled as she ran her hands through the fur lining.

“Alright.” Poe said, clapping his hand against her shoulder as BB-8 rolled along beside him. “I think we are ready to go. How’s my favorite Jedi liking her new clothes?” 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to fight in this.” She said, peering out from under the hood. “But I’ll be warm.”

“Good enough for me.” Poe smiled, turning to Finn and Rose. “And you two are all set? Rose, don’t push it too hard. We need people, and that means you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Rose insisted. “I promise.”

Finn shot her a look of concern but remained silent. He’d learned the hard way that coddling the two women in his life never ended well.

Rey turned then as Leia and Lando approached to say their final farewells. Leia was dressed in her formal attire, her mourning knot still tight in her hair. She looked beautiful, regal, exactly as Rey expected a princess to look. And that was what she was: royalty.

Leia hugged each of them, lingering longer on Poe before turning to Rey.

Rey’s eyes filled with tears and she saw Leia’s glisten as well. She’d found a companion in Leia unlike anyone she’d ever known. She was like a mother to her, just as Han had been like a father.

Leia took her hands and squeezed in her familiar way, letting her thoughts flow directly into her rather than speaking them out loud.

Leia was saying goodbye. Not temporarily like the rest believed, but for good. She sensed it too, the same gnawing feeling that Rey couldn’t shake. Something was coming. Leia was letting her go.

The general pulled her into a long hug and Rey broke down. She couldn’t lose her. Not now.

“Come with us.” She whispered so only Leia could hear. “We need you. I need you.”

She felt Leia sigh deeply as she pulled back to meet her gaze. “You are strong. You are brave. No matter what you find, remember who you are.”

Then she felt the pull, just like the first time Leia had shared memories with her.

 _She was standing next to an X-Wing class fighter with Luke and Han and Ben. Ben was older than he’d been in her last memory, but still quite a bit younger than he was now._

_Luke was hugging Han goodbye as Ben placed his belongings in the cock-pit. Then Luke turned to her. She could feel hisforce signature, the one that had connected them so strongly for years. She could always feel him, even when he was halfway across the galaxy._

_“Take care of him.” She nearly begged._

_“I will.” Luke leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I promise.”_

_With one final knowing look, Luke turned back to his nephew. “Are you ready Ben?”_

_Ben just nodded, and turned to his father._

_“Now don’t go off turning into some kind of wizard on me, okay?” Han said. He was trying to hide his emotions, but she knew her husband well enough to know he was barely holding himself together, just as she was._

_Ben said nothing, his shoulders remaining slouched and his eyes trained on the ground. Han pulled him in for a hug and she watched him cling to his son, not wanting to let go. A single tear rolled down Ben’s face as Han pulled back and patted his shoulder, trying and failing to keep his emotions at bay._

_Then Ben turned to her._

_She nearly broke when he finally looked up, his brown eyes so like her own. They were filled with fear, sadness, and a depth she’d never been able to explain. She pulled her son into her arms. He towered over her but he was still skinny enough that she could wrap her arms all the way around him._

_“Be strong.” She said squeezing her eyes shut as she held him close. “Be brave. And know that no matter what, we love you.”_

_Ben pulled back and looked down, wiping away a tear as he choked out his final words. “I love you too Mom.”_

_He bent down and let her kiss his forehead one last time before he pulled himself up and went to stand beside Luke. They both turned back, nodding their goodbyes as Han wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight by his side._

_“Are you sure about this?” He asked._

_“No.” She replied. “But I don’t know how else to help him.”_

_She watched as her only son climbed up into the X-wing with her beloved brother. R2-D2 was beeping loudly as Luke told him their coordinates._

_“Luke, Ben...” she called out before Luke closed the hatch. This was the last time she would see either of them in the flesh Rey realized. Possibly the last words she would speak to her son._

_“May the Force be with you.”_

Suddenly Rey was back on the landing platform, her hands still twisted in Leia’s. She was breathing hard, but it was clear that no one had realized what was passing between these two women.

Leia smiled up at her sadly. This was her final gift. Her last memory with her son. The last string of hope she had that he was still out there, somewhere, waiting to come home.

Leia’s brown eyes pierced deep into Rey’s soul as she squeezed her hands one last time.

“May the Force be with you. Always.”


	14. The Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe get in a little bonding time before they are RUDELY interupted by some unexpected guests.

Poe and Rey sat in silence in the cock-pit for a long time. Even BB-8 kept to himself.Part of her worried that if she tried to speak she might break down. She couldn’t tell Poe her suspicions about Leia. He would insist they go back, and if she was honest, she wouldn’t want to stop him.

After a while, Poe’s discomfort with the silence became unbearable. She could tell how badly he wanted to talk, so she pulled herself together as best she could and broke the silence for him.

“Why did you decide to come with me? You could’ve sent Finn. Or Chewie for that matter. Why you?”

Poe fidgeted with the controls for a minute as he formulated his answer. “Honestly, I don’t know. I probably should’ve gone with them. But for some reason, I wanted to do this.” He paused for a moment, eyes trained down on the controls. “I needed to do this.”

Rey stared at her co-pilot for a minute, trying to wrap her head around what he was saying. Then he looked up, half a smile drawing across his face.

“I sound crazy, don’t I? I think I’m going nuts.”

BB-8 beeped out his agreement and Rey laughed softly. “I just hope it’s not a complete waste of both our time.”

“Rey, we are headed to a secret Jedi temple that has been hidden away for decades. Even if you completely decimate your lightsaber, this will still be worth it.”

They sat awkwardly in silence again for a few minutes before he turned to look at her, hesitating as he fiddled with the necklace he always worn around his neck.

“The truth is, I’m hoping to find some connection to my mother out there.”

Rey looked up surprised as he continued. “She died when I was six. But Luke gifted my parents a part of a Force sensitive tree that grew in our yard. I would play on it often, and sometimes I thought I could feel her there with me.”

His grip tightened on the ring necklace and then he looked up, meeting her gaze. 

“I know it’s a long shot. But I could use her spark. If there’s any chance that I could feel her presence again, I was willing to take it.”

“I understand.” Rey replied, and she did. Far more than Poe could possibly realize. “I was searching for my parents too. Waiting for them really.”

Poe leaned back, intrigued. “Yeah?”

Kylo’s words flooded her head then. 

_They were filthy junk traders. They sold you off for drinking money. They’re dead in a paupers grave in a Jakku desert._

He’d been right of course. They were nobody and they had left her. But it wasn’t until he forced her to admit it that she was able to see it all so clearly. She’d been unable to let them go, denying that they didn’t care about her.

In a way it was exactly the opposite of what happened to Ben. He felt unloved and unwanted despite having parents who did care about him. Rey’s parents, on the other hand, cared more about themselves than they did about her. Yet she was able to convince herself otherwise. It was the only way to stay alive, to keep going.

But Rey couldn’t tell Poe that. He’d volunteered to come with her, and whatever his reasons may be, she needed his help.  

“I guess we both lost our mothers young.” She replied.

“We turned out alright though I’d say.” Poe said, crossing his arms above his head. “They must’ve done something right while they were around.”

Rey smiled half-heartedly. His certainly had. But hers? Of that she couldn’t be so certain.

“It looks like we have about one sleep cycle before we should reach Phu.” Poe continued. “I say we try and get some rest. I have no idea what we’re in for at this port tomorrow.”

Rey agreed and they both headed to the crews quarters. Hours later BB-8 rolled his way in and jolted her awake with a shock.

“BB-8!” She yelled, rousing Poe from his sleep as well. “What was that for?”

The little droid beeped in amusement and rolled quickly away, leaving Poe and Rey to stretch and readjust all of their aching body parts. The bed was far from the worst thing she’d ever slept on, but it was clear that her back had become spoiled by the few nights she spent on the cloud mattress on Bespin.

“Must be coming out if hyperspace soon.” Poe said, cracking his neck as he rose out of bed. “I’ll go take a look.”

Poe was just crossing the threshold when the ship jerked out of hyperspace, sending them both flying backward.

 “What was that?” She called out.

“BB-8!” Poe called, steadying himself against the doorframe. “Why are we coming out of...”

A violent shot shook the ship then, and she grabbed for the bed, steadying herself as she looked up at Poe, realization hitting her like a shock wave.

“Get to the cockpit!” She yelled running out of the room with Poe on her tail.

They threw themselves into their seats only to find that they were heading directly toward a First Order supply ship.

“Looks like we’ve got company!” Poe yelled, flipping the switch on the shields. “BB-8 amplify the shields! Rey you’re my gunner.” 

She wasted no time running to the gun compartment and throwing on her headset. This one didn’t handle quite like the Falcon, but the ship was far newer and she picked up the controls quickly.

“Three TIE-fighters incoming.” Poe yelled as he swerved to avoid the incoming blasts.

Poe was an excellent pilot but his sudden curves and swerves made it difficult to target the fighters. “Any chance you can steady out just a bit so I can hit one?” She yelled down to him.

“Not if we wanna make it out of here in one piece!”

She huffed out in frustration, continuing to shoot and miss as they darted underneath the supply ship.

 _Rey._ A voice called for her, one she did not recognize. _Use the force Rey._

 Of course! How had she been so foolish to forget her main advantage?

“Come on Rey!” Poe’s voice was starting to sound panicked. “I could really use some help up there!”

Rey closed her eyes, thumbs remaining ready over the triggers and reached out, feeling for the enemy TIE-fighters behind them.

Then she locked on, pulling the ship directly to her target and pressed down hard on the blasters.

“Yes!” Poe cheered as the TIE-fighter exploded in the sky. “Great shot kid!”

Rey felt her adrenaline pumping wildly as she closed her eyes again, feeling for the next fighter. Poe was spinning them wildly around the supply ship, knocking out the defense cannons with his own guns, but she felt steady, focused.

The second TIE-fighter went down easily and Poe was able to maneuver the ship to attack position behind the final target. This time she kept her eyes open, relishing in the success of blowing it out of the sky.

“Nice work Rey!” Poe yelled. “Get back down here. I’m taking us back to light speed.”

Rey didn’t have time to question the decision so she rushed back down to the cock-pit where BB-8 was nervously beeping about finding another system to refuel in.

“It’s the unknown regions Buddy. I don’t know what’s out there. That’s kind of the point.” Poe was furiously trying to pinpoint another stop off to refuel now that Phu was no longer an option.

According to the maps they’d scanned prior to leaving, there was nothing between Phu and the rumored location of Ilum. That was the problem of course. Ilum’s location was no more than rumor, a legend lost to time. They needed to refuel before they headed out into the unknown if they had any shot of making it out again. 

Rey was looking over his shoulder at the map when BB-8 sounded off in warning.

Both of their heads shot up to find more TIE-fighters approaching from the planet below.

“Just pick somewhere!” Rey yelled, flipping herself into her chair and grabbing for the guns. “Anywhere!” 

Grabbing for the computer, Poe typed in some coordinates and punched the accelerator, launching them safely back into hyperspace.

“That was close.” He breathed out, falling back into his chair. “Too close.”

Rey kept looking ahead, still trying to calm herself. Then Poe turned to her, covering her hand in his. “You were great Rey. One in a million.”

She felt her cheeks go red at his touch. “You did the hard work.”

Poe’s smile was electric as he looked down and shook his head. “We got out. That’s what counts. Now let’s hope we don’t run into anymore unwelcome company on Jedha.”

Jedha? That was where they were headed?

“I thought Jedha was destroyed,” Rey slipped out, recalling that brief bit of history she’d learned years ago. “In a mining accident.”

Poe nodded. “Jedha City was destroyed. But it wasn’t an accident. It was a weapons test for the Death Star.”

Rey felt her skin go cold hearing the name.

“The Empire didn’t take out the whole planet though. There may still be some settlements on the far side where we can stock up.”

BB-8 made his concern about the likelihood known. “Well we’ll figure it out when we get there, won’t we?” Poe snapped back at his little droid. 

Rey leaned back, trying to relax as best she could. It wasn’t just the skirmish that had her mind working. She was dwelling on the voice that had called out to her, one she didn’t know. 

For some reason, the fact that she didn’t recognize the voice calmed her. It was a new power she’d never known before. Perhaps it would’ve been something Luke could’ve taught her if she’d stayed. She was attached to a vast network of force sensitives, and any one of them could’ve been reaching out. She didn’t need to know the voice, she only needed to trust it.

For the first time since she’d touched Ben’s hand in the cave, she didn’t feel so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful comments! You keep me writing, even when I hit some writers block. 
> 
> Also, I couldn’t resist throwing in a little Han/Luke reference ;)
> 
> The next chapter heads back to our favorite Supreme Leader and his quest on Naboo...


	15. The Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Supreme Leader takes the politics to Naboo and discovers that there is more to learn there than he realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first foray into a new, original character but I still threw in some canon callbacks to set up for what is to come. 
> 
> As always, I love your feedback, and I can’t wait to see what you all think of Kylo’s discovery.

Kylo’s arrival on Naboo was no event, and he preferred it that way. He’d never intended for his visit to be a secret. He had no idea where he was going and he wasn’t exactly conspicuous enough to wander around the planet unnoticed. Instead he flew directly to the capitol city of Theed and requested an audience with the Queen, not knowing what sort of farce would be put up to welcome the new Supreme Leader. He was pleasantly surprised to learn that there would be none.

He’d heard stories of Naboo, but nothing prepared him for the beauty of the planet. It was not something he would’ve ordinarily appreciated, but as they flew down over the waterfalls crashing below the royal palace, he knew Rey had been right. The lakeside balcony must be on this planet. It was the only place in the galaxy so beautiful.

He was greeted by the Queen’s head of security and a number of handmaidens, all dressed in elaborate red silk robes.

“Welcome to Naboo Supreme Leader.” The security guard bowed. Kylo could sense his unease, but also his surprise. Very few people had ever seen him without his mask. The man seemed shocked to find that he was, in fact, a man. “I am Naim Kant, Her Majesty’s head of security. Queen Milané is waiting for you in the throne room. If you’ll follow me.” 

Kylo walked beside the man as the handmaidens followed behind. The halls of the palace were open and bright, the ceilings tall and arching. Despite the welcoming environment, he could still sense the tension of those around him as they continued on, his reputation preceding him.

He turned his focus instead to the portraits that lined the hall. They were all enormous homages to the monarchs of the past, most of whom appeared to be young women.

One portrait in particular caused him to stop. The women wore elaborate red and black robes and an enormous headpiece that put his mother’s braids to shame. But it was her eyes that drew him in as he felt a change in the Force around him. He couldn’t help but stare, forgetting the strangers surrounding him as he walked closer, the Force willing him toward her.

Suddenly, the woman looked down at him, her beautiful brown eyes piercing his own. He knew those eyes... he shared those eyes... 

“Is everything alright Supreme Leader?” Naim Kant stepped forward slightly, his voice breaking Kylo’s focus.

He turned back toward the man. “Yes.” He replied, looking back up and noticing that the portrait had returned to its original position. “What can you tell me about this woman?”

“Queen Amidala?” Naim Kant asked, nodding to one of the handmaidens. The girl left swiftly. “She was one of our most beloved queens, serving during the Naboo crisis. She saved our people from an invasion by the Trade Federation and forged an alliance with the Gungans, the native creatures of this planet, who had long been at odds with the Naboo.”

Kylo nodded stealing one last glance at the portrait before allowing the group to continue.

“Where would I be able to find more information on this?” He asked calmly, attempting to curb the tension emitting from his hosts.

“I’ve sent one of Her Majesty’s handmaids to retrieve the histories for you.” Naim Kant replied. “We will leave them in your chambers.”

Kylo nodded and continued to follow Naim Kant toward the throne room. Thus far, the Naboo were proving far more agreeable than he’d expected. He could only hope that this Queen Milané was no exception.

—————————

He suffered through the formalities of treating with the 15 year old Queen and made his proposal for an alliance between the First Order and the Naboo. The young girl had gone through the motions of conferring with her advisors before agreeing to his generous offer and declaring a feast be held in celebration. He knew better than to believe the girl and her advisers were in any way pleased with the arrangement, but they’d been wise, or perhaps scared enough to accept. 

He would’ve preferred to decline the dinner invitation, but this was a regretful part of his role now. He couldn’t help but think of his mother mocking the falsity of the many dinner parties she’d been obligated to attend. He’d never believed her when she told him she would’ve preferred to stay home with him. Now, however, he sensed she might not have been lying after all.

He hated that his thoughts kept dragging him back to Leia Organa. He’d done his best to sever any ties to the people he had once called family. They had failed him, left him to rot, even tried to kill him.

But seeing the eyes of the queen, the eyes he knew he shared with his mother, he’d felt that pull again. He was more like his parents than he’d ever admit. There was no killing that, even if they were gone.

He did his part to suffer through the dinner, but his mind kept wandering back to the woman in the portrait. Those sad eyes, so like his own, echoed his own pain. The Force wanted him to find her, he could feel it. This was why he was here, on Naboo. She was the missing piece of his mysterious lineage, the piece he needed to understand if he was ever to find Anakin.

All he wanted was to go back to his chambers and learn more.

“It was a surprise to hear you were coming to Naboo in person, Supreme Leader.” The young Queen tried to make small talk at the table. She was brave and intelligent. He’d gathered that from their first interaction. She understood the purpose she served and the affect she had on her people surprisingly well for someone so young. “We did not realize our system was of any interest to the First Order.”

Kylo considered the girl. She was politically savvy, trying to discover his true purpose here. It seemed there was no harm in presenting his motive to her. He needed some excuse to spend a little longer on the planet and he would not be able to do that without her knowledge now.

“Your system is not of any particular interest to the First Order, aside from being a beneficial ally as we reestablish peace and order throughout the galaxy.”

The girls face flashed no emotion. He was impressed by her control.

“In truth, your Highness, I had a more personal reason for visiting Naboo.” He reached out, testing her emotions as he spoke. “I am looking for something.”

“Something?” The Queen asked knowingly. “Or someone?”

He turned to her, startled by her comment. Naim Kant appeared to have wasted no time alerting the young woman to Kylo’s interest in the portrait. She was ready to pounce as he presented an opportunity for her to inquire.

“My security lead told me of your interest in Queen Amidala.” Milané continued. “She was a beloved Queen and Senator. But I am curious what interest the Supreme Leader of the First Order would have in such a woman. She is credited as one of the founders of the Rebel Alliance after all.”

That was news to him.

“I believe she had ties to an Imperial officer of some significance.” Kylo continued, treading carefully. No one knew his true identity, and he did not want that to change today.

The queen nodded solemnly. “Yes. I believe she did.”

Her face remained a mask, but Kylo sensed she knew far more than she was letting on. He reached out to feel around her consciousness but found that he was blocked somehow. Curious...

“If you would like,” she looked up, seeming to have noticed his presence in her mind. “You may have access to my private archives. There is far more information there than you will find in the histories.”

He turned to her, surprised by her offer. “Thank you.” He replied continuing to gently study her mind. There was something about her, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Of course.” She nodded, returning to her plate. 

The dinner finished quickly and the Queen dismissed the group before offering to take him to the monarch’s private archives herself. He accepted.

They walked in silence for a long while, heading deep below the palace. The young queen had peaked his interest.She was particularly attuned to her surroundings, aware of his power yet unafraid of being with him alone. He couldn’t deny that he was impressed.

Finally she broke the silence. “I must admit, you are not what I was expecting.”

He turned to her, his brow arching curiously. “What were you expecting?”

The girl looked him up and down before responding. “Someone more... menacing.”

A slight smile appeared on his lips. “You are brave to say so.”

“Perhaps” She replied. “But I sense that your reputation does not paint the full picture.”

Her comment caused him to stop. The Queen continued on for a moment before she paused as well, turning to look back over her shoulder. “Am I incorrect in that assessment?”

The girl was bold. Too bold for her own good. She was entering into dangerous territory.

Sensing a change, the girl turned all the way around to face him. “I’m sorry if I have offended you Supreme Leader. That was not my intention.”

Kylo reached out again, trying to comb through her mind. She was pushing buttons. He needed to know why.

That was when he felt it, the push back from the Force. It was nothing compared to the fight Rey had put up against him when he’d first taken her prisoner, but it was there all the same. This girl, this Queen, was Force sensitive.

“Interesting.” He pondered aloud, taking a step closer. “Do you realize what you are doing right now?”

Milané remained stoic as he approached. “I’m not sure I understand what you are referring to Supreme Leader.”

“I am attempting to probe your mind and you are deflecting me.” He stated, his curiosity clear in his tone.

“I don’t...”

Kylo reached out then, pushing past her barrier and into her mind. She did not put up a fight, realizing the position she now found herself in. Her face was broken in fear for the first time.

He probed the girls mind, searching for evidence that she understood her abilities. He found none. She used her powers in much the same way his mother always had: reading the emotions and motives of the people around her. It served her well in politics. It would be to her detriment today.

“Ah, your Majesty, if only you knew your own power.” Kylo released her. “It’s a pity that you allowed me to find out.”

The girls eyes shot wide and for the first time since he’d met her, she looked her age. “You wouldn’t dare harm me. I am the Queen of Naboo. To touch me would be an act of war. Even you wouldn’t go so far.”

Kylo tilted his head to ponder her for another moment. She was right. He had not come here to start a war. He needed more allies, not less. The girlhad no training. She served no threat. And if someday she did present a problem, he now knew exactly where to find her.

“No.” He agreed, lowering his voice. “We are allies now. I would never harm you.” He turned to walk around the girl, gesturing that they should continue. “I would offer to teach you.”

She stared at him for a long moment, considering his offer. For all of her confidence in their earlier interactions, she appeared now understand who she was dealing with and what he was capable of.

“My duty is to my people.” She answered finally, moving again to walk beside him.

“For now.” He replied, his voice low and silky. “When you have fulfilled that duty, you may find yourself wanting guidance. In return for your generosity today, I offer that to you.”

The girl simply nodded as they approached a large doorway. The door was carved into elaborate shapes representing the creatures and landscapes of Naboo.

“Through here you will find the Royal Archives.” Milané held hand to scan her fingerprint triggering the enormous doors to slowly fold inward. “Only the monarchs of Naboo have access to these archives. I hope you will find what you are looking for here.”

Kylo bowed to her in gratitude, pushing gently against her mind. It was just enough to remind her what he could do, but not enough to be a threat. “Thank you, your Majesty.”

She bowed in return and quickly headed back down the hallway from which she came.

He took one last look after her, sensing her unease, and then entered the chamber. It was a library like the old ones he’d read about, with real books on shelves that towered high above.

Kylo smirked. He had always been one who enjoyed the “old way” of doing things. The calligraphy set he’d used as a child was just one example. It would take longer to find what he was looking for this way, but he relished in the strange pleasure of holding a book in his hand.

That the Queen was Force sensitive was merely a distraction. It was here that he would find what the answers he craved.

He stepped forward and began.


	16. The Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fruitful visit to Jedha, Rey and Poe arrive on Ilum, hoping to find the long lost Jedi temple, and perhaps even themselves, along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long and unfortunate bout of writers block, I’ve finally cranked this baby out. It’s longer than normal, and there is a lot going on, but I hope the pay off in the end is worth it. 
> 
> Thanks for tagging along on this journey. I promise we will get more Reylo very soon, but I want our two star-crossed heros to be ready when the time comes, and that requires a little more plot.

Rey and Poe landed on Jedha during the planet’s night, allowing them to refuel discreetly before they blasted off for Ilum. Poe had been right about the settlements on the far side of the planet, but as they’d flown down, Rey couldn’t help but stare at the horrible crater left behind from the Death Star’s blast over 30 years prior.

“The moon will likely never recover fully.” Poe explained. “But this is still a better fate than Alderaan. Or Hosnian Prime.”

The mood remained appropriately somber for the remainder of their time in the system.

While en route Rey had determined some key pieces she would need to rebuild the light saber. She’d managed to find most of them on Jedha. All that was left the kyber crystal.

Now she sat in the rear of the ship, trying to piece together the handle as Poe punched in the rumored coordinates for Ilum and launched them back into hyperspace. She was desperate for a distraction from the places her mind was begging her to go.

Rey knew how painful it had been for Leia to share that final memory with her. She sensed it through the Force. It was likely the last time she’d see two of the most important people in her life. That alone would be painful to relive, but Rey also sensed Leia’s profound regret. This was her greatest mistake, sending her son away.

Despite that pain, Leia had chosen the same parting words for Rey that she’d given to Ben.

 _Be strong. Be brave_. 

Where she’d differed had been in her final request. For Ben, she asked that he never forget his parents unconditional love for him. For Rey, she asked that she never forget herself.

Rey couldn’t help but feel that was an important difference.

She stared long and hard at the pieces of lightsaber resting in her lap. She’d tried to fit them back together as they were before but they resisted completely.

Frustrated, she sighed heavily, her gaze moving upward toward the ship’s walls. Her quarterstaff was leaning up against it comfortably. It was such a simple tool. She’d found it mostly covered in sand outside one of the old Imperial Star Destroyers that she scavenged on Jakku. She’d learned to fight with it, to defend herself. She’d always been most comfortable fighting with the two sided weapon. It was part of her.

Her gaze fell back down to the broken kyber crystal, one piece in each of her hands.

 _Remember who you are_.

She looked at the pieces of metal that had made the casing of Anakin’s lightsaber. This had been Anakin Skywalker’s weapon. It represented who he was, just as Kylo Ren’s unstable blade represented his own unbalanced nature.

If Rey was going to successfully make a new lightsaber, it needed to feel right. It needed to be a part of her.

A slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she glued her gaze to her trusty staff. It might be crazy, but she had to give it a try. 

—————————

“The Jedi sure knew how to pick ‘em didn’t they?” Poe remarked sarcastically as they entered Ilum’s atmosphere.

The planet was a giant ball of ice, with wind and snow constantly swirling around the ice daggers that pierced up from the ground. They’d picked up no life forms on the ground, instead relying on Rey to reach out in the Force to find a spot to land.

“There.” She said, pointing toward a giant wall of ice rising from the surface. “That’s where we need to go.”

“If you say so.” Poe replied, steering the ship in that direction.

He landed the ship as close as he could to the wall of ice, but they still had a trek ahead of them. After anchoring he ship to the ground below, Rey and Poe piled on the layers of outerwear from Lando. Poe looked right at home in his thick coat and eyewear, but Rey felt like an oversized balloon.

“How do people move around like this?” She wondered aloud, struggling to pull down her goggles over her head. Poe reached up and helped her, a smirk appearing across his face.

“You may have one too many layers on Rey.” 

She looked down at her body as best she could and agreed, deciding to go without the second internal down coat. She was pleased to find she could now move her arms up and down again.

BB-8 reluctantly stayed behind with the ship as Rey and Poe ventured out into the cold and unforgiving landscape. Rey had only seen snow once before, on Starkiller base, but it was nothing like this. The cold nipped at her exposed nose and the strong wind gusts took the air right out of her lungs. 

“Rey!” Poe yelled from up ahead, barely audible over the wind. They were approaching the wall. “There’s nothing here!”

That couldn’t be true. She could feel it. There was opening inside that wall, a room with towering ceilings. There must be some way in.

“No.” She yelled, running up to him as best she could in the snow. “It’s here. I know it is.”

 She knelt down desperately, plunging her hands into the snow and shoveling it back, hoping to find some secret entrance that had been shielded with time.

Poe knelt down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder, yelling over the wind. “Rey, it’s no use. Don’t waste your energy.”

She looked up at the giant structure above. The wall was formed by large crystalline structures that appeared to glisten despite the limited star light. He was wrong. She could feel it. The Force was strong here. She just had to focus.

 _Breathe Rey._

It was the voice again. The same one she’d heard in the gunner’s compartment.

 _Reach out to the Force. Let it flow through you._  

Rey closed her eyes and reached upward toward the wall. She felt Poe step back, but all else faded away. The snow, the wind, the cold, all of it was gone. She only felt the space, wide open and tall, waiting for her to enter. It called to her, begging her to find a way inside. 

She pushed harder, stretching herself beyond her body and into the wall before her, searching for the entrance. She found it quickly and focused all of her energy there, pushing the ice crystals aside. 

As the ice fell down before them, she felt Poe move beside her  

“Rey! Rey you did it!” He yelled. She could hear to laughter in his voice as he continued forward. “That was amazing!”

She opened her eyes slowly, raising up from her kneeling position in the snow, and saw that he was right. An opening was visible in the wall. A wide smile pulled across her face as her legs carried her inward behind Poe.

As they crossed the threshold and escaped the biting cold, Rey pulled back her hood and let her eyes wander up to the ceiling. There, shrouded in a blue glow, was a giant crystal.

She moved toward the center of the room but her eyes remained focused up above as she took in the elaborate carvings and high pillars around them. It was beautiful, calm, peaceful. She could feel the light moving around her.

Finally her eyes were brought back down as the figure of Poe Dameron moved across the room.

“Looks like we aren’t the first people to find this place since the Jedi left.” He said, kicking at a pile of what looked to be Imperial work kits. “The Empire was here too.”

Rey walked over to him and looked down at the scrappers and drills that were left behind. Then she looked back up at the giant crystal on the ceiling. “They didn’t take everything.”

“That rock doesn’t look likes it’s going anywhere.” Poe looked up as well. “No matter how many Imperial slaves they put to work here.”

Rey’s eyes were drawn back away from the work kits toward a staircase that led to a large entryway. She felt a presence within it calling for her. It was different than the voices she’d been hearing. It was like a thousands voices all at once singing a song without words. They were calling for her to join them, to seek out all they had to offer. Her legs carried her up the stairs as she listened, allowing the Force to guide her feet unconsciously.

As she crossed the threshold she realized she was entering into the cave. She turned back toward the entrance one last time, wondering if she should call for Poe, before deciding against it. This was her journey. She had to do it alone. Steeling herself with a deep sigh, she turned to follow the path deeper into the darkness.

She had not made it far when she heard whispers calling out in the distance. It was no longer just a wordless song, but something more. Rey’s head whipped around, but there was no one there  

Rey quickened her pace, following the sound as if she was being pulled in by an invisible string. The whispers were like music, an irresistible symphony of hope and longing. And they sounded so... familiar.

 _Rey._

Rey spun around wildly as the whispers became words. They were calling to her and now she could hear them. She closed her eyes and focused on the Force surrounding her, letting herself be guided wherever she needed to go.

“Rey, darling.”

 Her eyes shot open and she cried out in shock. Two figures stood before her, a man and a woman. They looked eerily familiar, and yet she didn’t know them. 

She took a step forward, her head titling as she tried to place them in her memories.

They continued to stand there, smiling at her as she came to the realization.

“Mom? Dad?” 

The man and woman looked at each other before turning back to her and nodding. 

Rey’s tears fell freely from her eyes as she stared at them in disbelief, reaching out to touch them. But before she could make contact, the ghosts of her parents disappeared like smoke.

“No!” She cried out desperately. “Come back!”

Rey spun around again, her vision blurry and her heart racing in desperation.

_Whomever you’re waiting for on Jakku, they’re never coming back._

Maz’s words from the castle cut through her like a knife. Rey had finally accepted that. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was finally moving forward. But seeing them, hearing them... it was too much. Why would the Force be so cruel? She was trying to let them go.

Or was she?

Rey fell to her knees sobbing. Kylo was right. She needed to let the past go if she was ever going to become what she was meant to be. She had to face them and not want to go back.

 _You’re not alone._

Rey stiffened. The voice came from behind her this time but she dared not look back. Even if a vision of him appeared before her, it was not the same.

Perhaps more importantly, he was not the same. Ben Solo had said those words. Ben Solo would be who she would see if she turned around. But Ben Solo didn’t exist. Not right now anyway. She couldn’t bare the pain of that.

 _There is someone who still could._  

 _I saw something too._

_The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead._

_When the time comes, you’ll stand with me._

Rey closed her eyes and focused. She had to let go of the past, but she’d also seen how dangerous blindly looking toward the future could be. Kylo hadn’t turned, and even if the Force was trying to tell her that he could, it was only one of many possible outcomes.

No. Rey couldn’t use the possibility of the future she envisioned as a replacement for the past she was too afraid to leave behind. She couldn’t rely on others to give her value and purpose. She had to find it within herself.

She stood again, turning around to face him, only to find she was wrong. Ben Solo did not stand before her. The ghosts of her parents had returned. Their faces were kind and eyes loving, but Rey knew better. They’d left her, sold her off for scraps. The images before her were only what she wanted to see, not what was real.

Beside them side stood two men Rey had not expected to see: Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. She’d latched on to them as well. Han had been like a father she’d never known and Luke, well, the idea of Luke had been far greater than the reality. Even so, he’d started to teach her and to help her in ways no one else ever had.

In all of these cases, she’d clung to an idea, hoping for someone to care for her, unable to let go of that longing for love and family and belonging.

She looked between the silent ghosts that stood before her. They represented what could have been, but not what was. She could not forget them. She wouldn’t. But she could not dwell on their losses any longer. She had to forge her own path.

“Goodbye.” She said, meeting each of them in the eyes as they dissolved into smoke before her.

Luke’s ghost was the last to remain, and instead of fading away as the others had, his image changed. His body glowed blue and his eye registered an awareness that had been absent only moments before. Then he smiled at her.

“You’ve done well Rey.”

 Rey didn’t know how to respond. This was unlike the other voices she’d been hearing in the cave. It wasn’t a whisper, and it wasn’t the same as the Force bond between herself and Kylo where the rest of the world faded away. It was as if Luke was really there, in the cave with her, and she was still fully aware of her surroundings.

“What are you?” She asked, tilting her head inquisitively.

“I am part of the Force.” Luke explained. “A ghost, you could say.”

“But you’re real. You’re actually talking to me?”

Luke’s face morphed into a familiar smirk, the same one he’d worn when she’d yelled for him not to throw himself across the cliff while fishing on Ahch-To. “Yes, I am real.”

Rey felt her pockets go warm and she plunged her hands into them, pulling out the two halves of the kyber crystal that were now glowing bright. She looked up at Luke and found him watching her carefully.

“What do you see?” He asked.

Rey looked down at the broken pieces in her hands. The crystal have severed perfectly in half, the Force unwilling to choose between her and Ben Solo. But where before they had remained dull and broken, now the pieces were glowing, the Force pulsing hot around them.

“Something’s changed.” She said, looking up at Luke again.

“Not something.” He replied, nodding his head toward her. “You, Rey. You’ve changed.” 

“I... I don’t understand.”

“Letting go of the past is the first step to building the future. My nephew isn’t so wrong about that, although I disagree with his methods.” Luke gestured toward her bag as he started to fade away. “The crystal cannot go back to what it was before, but it can become something new.” 

Rey stepped forward but before she could reach out he was gone. She swung her bag down and pulled out the hilt she had been working on during their journey to Ilum. She’d found the necessary emitter matrixes on Jedha and had taken apart her staff, inserting modulation circuits and energy gates on either side. BB-8 had helped her with the activation knobs and the welding requirements.

She stared at the hilt, closing her hand around it tightly as she sat down on the cold ground of the cave. She’d been hesitant to take apart her trusty staff, but it was all she had. If this worked, her lightsaber would truly be her own. If not, well, all she could do was hope she could put the staff back together again.

Rey pulled a wrench out of her sack, laid the glowing crystals before her, and opened the hilt so that the empty power cells were exposed. Then Rey closed her eyes.

She could feel the Force signature of the crystals in front of her, but they felt different. Before there had always been tinge of pain surrounding the saber. It was powerful, and it was hers, but the intense history of the weapon hung over it like a cloud. Anakin Skywalker had done terrible things with his weapon. The saber could not forget that.

Now, however, the crystal felt free, renewed, unhindered by it’s past. Much as Rey had freed herself from the burden of her own.

She focused all of her energy on the crystals, lifting them into the saber hilt with a sizzle and click. Still, she kept her eyes shut. This lightsaber was not meant to be thrown together suddenly. It needed to be a part of her, an extension of her very being. She grasped onto the hilt of the saber and felt its energy course through her like a shock wave.

This was power, this was peace, this was joy and pain and loneliness. She allowed all that she is to transfer into the crystal, forming itself in her image.

She may have been there mere moments, or hours, or days. She did not know. All she knew was that the lightsaber she held in her hand was ready and when she opened her eyes to ignite it, the cave glowed bright blue, with beams of pure energy igniting on either side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No younglings were harmed in the making of this chapter, although I did become intimately attached to the budding young Jedi in the Clone Wars episode that inspired this chapter. 
> 
> I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Did Rey undergo enough of a change? Did she discover what she needed to know about herself? 
> 
> I leave that up to you.


	17. The Masoleum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo discovers the truth of his family history, as Hux’s snooping leads him to an important discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the long delay in getting this chapter to you. A lot happens, and while the first chunks came easily, the last section needed to feel right. It’s been rewritten about a thousand times. I can’t wait to hear what you all think, especially in regard to what our favorite anti-hero will do next :)

 

The earliest glimmer of a sunrise peaked out over the waterfalls below the mausoleum in Theed. Kylo Ren had been sitting there for hours, waiting to see his grandmother’s memorial light up in all it’s glory as the morning sun breathed life onto her stone sarcophagus. 

He’d spent hours pouring over old records, reading the history of her reign and eventual transition to Senator. He learned that Anakin had met her by accident as a child and that they worked together professionally on many occasions, particularly during the Clone Wars. But nothing alluded to a relationship that went beyond two allies fighting against a common enemy.

That was until he stumbled upon Padme’s personal diaries. His grandmother had kept them from the day she became queen at age 14 and they were all stored here, in the royal archive.

 Kylo lost himself in her words. She was strong, intelligent and kind. He could sense it, even in the earliest entries. He heard his mother’s voice springing from the page as she wrote of her trials as queen and her frustrations with the Senate.

He related to her in ways he did not expect, and found himself fondly recalling moments of his childhood with his parents on Chandrila, only to push them away again in anger. He wasn’t here for a cushy return to the past. No. He was here in search of Anakin Skywalker and the legacy that now belonged to him.

Except, he realized, Padmé was every bit as much of that legacy as Anakin. She’d helped found the Rebellion that her daughter and his mother would one day lead. The same one that fought and destroyed her husband’s empire. He never realized just how important she had been to the events that had played out throughout his own life. It seemed to him that not even his mother had known. 

And how could she have? She hadn’t discovered the identity of her birth parents until she was much older, and once she had, there were no records of the relationship that brought her into existence. Only here, on Naboo, was there any evidence.

In her diary, Padmé talked of Anakin and their struggle to come to terms with what their relationship would mean. She was torn apart by the prospect that they would be caught. He would’ve been expelled from the Jedi Order, and she would’ve been ostracized in the Senate. All of their hard work would’ve been for nothing.

And yet they’d allowed themselves to fall in love despite all that.

Kylo still held her last diary in his hand. He’d read over the final passage dozens of times, at first entranced by his grandmother’s beautiful, curly handwriting only to grow more frustrated with each read.

_Anakin is so focused on his nightmares. He is so afraid that I will not survive this pregnancy. But he does not know what I know. The life that grows within me is beautiful and strong, just like the love that created it. Despite the war raging around us, when the baby kicks I am reminded that we are fighting so that they can live in a galaxy that knows peace._

_In another life, if I was not a Senator and he was not a Jedi, this would be the most wonderful moment. Anakin was meant to be a father, and this family is the greatest gift either of us could’ve asked for. He has told me time and again that he cares for nothing more than our family. Despite the challenges ahead, nothing has ever made him happier than the idea of being a father. Our baby will be blessed and loved beyond compare, and I cannot wait to welcome him or her into this world. Their mother and father wait patiently for their arrival, full of hope and love, and willing to fight any battles necessary to keep them safe._  

This was where her diaries ended, with desires and dreams of the family they would never have. Mere days after this final entry, the Jedi were wiped out, Padmé Amidala died, and Darth Vader rose to power beside Emperor Sheev Palpatine as the Clone Wars came to an end. Yet he still didn’t know why.

His grandfather was, by all accounts that he’d found here, a good man. He’d loved his grandmother deeply and it seemed clear to Kylo that he would’ve loved his children just the same. This only confused him more. Vader was known for his cruelty. His mother had tried to hide the scars of her encounters with him, but he’d also felt her pain and anger whenever Vader was mentioned around her. How had this man changed so drastically in such a short span of time?

His own descent into darkness had been building for years before he’d snapped. His parents had failed to keep their fears of and for him a secret, despite their best efforts. The dark thoughts, spurred by darker dreams, had plagued him his whole life. When Luke came to his quarters ready to kill him that night Kylo’s reaction had been one of desperation. What followed was a result of his acceptance of the truth that had always been there. He’d finally embraced the darkness inside of him, the parts that everyone else had seen but hadn’t wanted to accept. Even then, he still found himself pulled toward the light, unable to fully let go. Vader’s decent had been total, a nose-dive into the darkness. 

Kylo was jerked from his thoughts by the blinking of his coms unit. He accepted begrudgingly and was greeted by the masked face of Tizo Ren.

“Master.” Tizo bowed his head.

“Yes?” Kylo growled, irritated at having been disturbed in this place.

“I have located Calrissian. He is on the planet Bespin. I have reason to believe the Resistance is with him.”

Kylo reclined slightly. Bespin was such an obvious choice, and it was for that reason that’d he’d disregarded it. He’d visited Lando Calrissian on multiple occasions on Bespin, where he’d run a droid operation for much of Ben’s youth. In recent years, the former smuggler had moved his operation to Corellia and shifted the business to freight. Or so he’d been told. It appeared that his parents had been wise enough to tell Calrissian to hide, knowing that he too would be a target of the First Order. Perhaps most surprising was the fact that the smooth criminal had the gull to listen to them. 

“Very good.” Kylo replied, “I will return shortly. Alert no one else of this development.” 

“Yes Master.” Tizo bowed again before disappearing.

               ————————— 

General Armitage Hux despised having to lurk around his ship like a low-grade intelligence operative, but that was the position he’d found himself occupying ever since the bloody Knight of Ren had arrived on the Finalizer. 

This particular knight, one they called Tizo Ren, had been digging through the Imperial archives ever since he showed up days before. It was the same day that Ren abruptly and uncharacteristically departed for a “diplomatic mission” to Naboo. Hux would deign to imagine that this was mere coincidence, and so he’d been relegated to the unfortunate task of spying.

Thus far, his efforts produced nothing of value, but today he’d hit the jackpot. Having located the Knights private chambers, he’d managed to climb into the ventilation shaft directly above the room and was currently crammed into a wholly incommodious position directly above Tizo Ren.

“I have located Calrissian.” The knight reported. “He is on the planet Bespin. I have reason to believe the Resistance is with him.”

Hux’s ears perked up perceptibly. This knight had discovered the location of the Resistance. All of this degrading behavior was finally paying off.

“Very good.” He recognized Ren’s deep baritone. “I will return shortly. Alert no one else to this development.” 

Hux smiled. He had Ren in his grasp now. He would use this information to wipe out the Resistance once and for all, and he would do it on his own, undermining the Supreme Leaders authority and taking the victory for himself.

He waited until Tizo Ren had left his chambers before maneuvering his way out of the shaft, dropping down with a hard thud into the supply closet from whence he’d came. Hux smoothed his stiff black jacket and ran his fingers through his hair, resetting it in its slicked back position. Then he pulled himself to his tallest stance before pressing open the door and making his way to the bridge. Perhaps if he was lucky, he’d find a way to use this opportunity to take out more than one obstacle in his way.

               —————————

Kylo stood and turned back to look at the stone carving of his grandmother, peacefully resting amongst flowers and curls. The sunrise was upon them now but his large frame cast a dark shadow down upon her while the marble mausoleum became engulfed by orange and yellow. The colors were not unlike the sunsets he remembered from his visits to Bespin.

It seemed so simple now. The fleet could wipe out Cloud City quickly and easily. The question was if he wanted to. Lando Calrissian, once a man whom he held in high esteem, would be there. Lando had always been good to him. He was a the fun uncle. The one who would tell stories of his fathers exploits long before he’d joined the Rebellion and would sneak him away, teaching him to shoot a blaster or swindle at Sabaac when his parents weren’t looking. He was a threat to the Order, yes. But was he an enemy?

And his mother. He hadn’t been able to kill her before, but had come to terms with her death. Now, realizing the relief he’d felt when Rey told him Leia had somehow survived, he was certain he would fail to finish the deed once again. Killing his father had split him in two. What would killing Leia do?

Then there was Rey. Some part of him, a part he tried to deny but couldn’t, still longed for her companionship. He could’ve told himself otherwise, could’ve blocked her out and convinced himself to hate her. But then she’d allowed him back in, answering his desperate plea. It was clear that her feelings were as conflicted as his own. He needed to cut her down, destroy her and the pull to the light that she represented. That was the only way he could ever be free of the conflict raging inside of him. But the thought of seeing her limp, lifeless body strewn before him made him retch. Somewhere, somehow, the scavenger girl from Jakku had nestled herself into his psyche, and he knew tearing her down would be akin to ripping out a part of his soul.

Kylo refocused his attention on the monument in front of him. His grandmother’s stone outline was beautiful, even shrouded in darkness, and he knew how radiant she would be if he stepped aside and let the sunlight overwhelm her. His eyes wandered to her peaceful face and the tight curls of her long hair. The marble mold was impressively lifelike. The Naboo had spared no expense in honoring her.

As his eyes moved down her body, he noticed something intertwined in her marble hands. He moved around the tomb, allowing the sunlight to shine upon her and found a necklace, held in her hands, had been molded into the stone. The pendant was marked by carvings of symbols he did not recognize. It was nothing special, yet he was drawn to it nonetheless. Removing a glove from his hand, he reached out toward the necklace, gently caressing it with his thumb.

“I remember when I gave her that necklace.”

Kylo spun around, eyes wide in surprise. Before him stood a man, shrouded in a blue glow. He stood slightly shorter than Kylo, with shoulder length hair and a scar that ran across his right eye. He held himself with an amused confidence before turning to look down at Padmé’s stone face, gently brushing her cheek.

Kylo watched him, unable to move. He’d been searching for so long, trying to find his grandfather in the Force. Was it possible that he was finally here?

“Grandfather?”

The man looked up from Padmé’s face and met his gaze directly. He noticed how familiar his eyes looked, but where he’d seen his mother’s staring back at him in the portrait of Padmé, now he saw a different set. He knew they would be blue if the man stood before him in the flesh, just like Luke’s.

“I know you have many questions Ben.” Anakin looked back down at the stone, not giving him a direct answer. “I want to begin by telling you I’m sorry.”

Kylo had to catch himself to keep his mouth from falling open. Anakin Skywalker finally stood before him, able to give him the answers he’d been searching for desperately, and the first thing he offered was an apology. Kylo was at a loss. “I don’t understand.”

Anakin looked away. “I’ve failed you.”

“No.” Kylo shook his head in frustration, “No, you’ve been guiding me. Everything I’ve become, everything I am. It’s all because of your guidance, your legacy.”

Anakin’s face hardened as he met his eyes once again. “My legacy is nothing but death, destruction and pain. But yours? Yours could be so much more.”

Kylo stepped back, his anger and confusion bubbling to the surface.

“I was so blinded by power that I destroyed everything and everyone I’d ever loved. Your mother, your uncle, my best friend, the man you were named after...” Anakin looked back at Padmé’s peaceful face, “and your grandmother. I swore I would protect her. I was so consumed by the need to keep her alive, and in the end it was I who killed her.”

Kylo felt like Chewie’s blaster was piercing through his side once again. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You... you killed her?”

Images began to flash before Kylo’s eyes and he realized that Anakin was projecting memories to him through the Force.

_He was cradling a dying woman in his arms, tears spilling down his face as she told him she loved him, caressing his face. Then came rage. He slaughtered every one of the creatures nearby. He hated them all. They killed his mother. They deserved to die._

_The memory shifted and he was running toward a woman, hiding in the shadows of a large column. He embraced her, spinning her around and kissing her. It was Padmé._

_She looked fearful as she told him she was pregnant, asking what they were going to do. He told her not to worry, that it was a happy moment, the happiest of his life._

_Then he was waking from a terrible nightmare, having watched her die in childbirth. He’d had these dreams before, about his mother, the woman from the first memory. He refused to let this one become a reality._

_The memory shifted again and suddenly he was watching an elaborate lights show in the middle of what looked to be the Old Republic Senate chamber. It resembled that of the New Republic just enough to be recognizable. He sat down next to an older man that Kylo quickly recognized as Emperor Palpatine. He sowed doubt about the Jedi council as he told Anakin the story of Darth Plagueis the Wise, a Sith Lord so powerful he could stop those he loved from dying._

_Then he watched as another Jedi struck Palpatine down as Anakin begged him not to. He needed his help. He cut off the other Jedi’s hands as Palpatine finished the job with force lightening. He rose again as Darth Vader, having pledged himself to his new master, Darth Sidious._

_Next came a vision that hit so close to home that Kylo felt his body lurch backward. But he could not tear away. Anakin was killing the younglings at the Jedi temple as they tried to escape. He spared no one, not even the youngest amongst them._

_Then Mustafar came into view. He recognized the lava covered planet immediately. Padmé is running to him, asking him what has happened. He tells her that the Jedi have betrayed the Republic, that they can rule together, make the galaxy the way they want it to be._

_He’d said almost the same words to Rey in the throne room he realized. Both women rejected them, the pain and disappointment on Padmé’s face almost an exact mirror of Rey’s._

_Then another man steps out from the shadows of the ship. Obi-Wan Kenobi, his namesake. Anakin screams at Padmé for bringing him and chokes her. She begs them both to stop before collapsing to the ground as Anakin shrieks at his old master that he turned her away from him. She couldn’t be taken away._

_A battle ensues, and in the end Anakin’s arrogance is his downfall. Obi-Wan leaves him, burning and limbless on the edge of the river of lava._

Kylo’s eyes refocused on the present, his mind whirling as he collapses to the ground. He was an angry torrent of emotions. At the forefront was anger, at Anakin for being so blind, and at himself for making the same mistakes. His own life was an almost perfect mirror of his grandfathers. Anakin had destroyed the Republic, destroyed the Jedi, and destroyed his family. Kylo was the Jedi Killer, a General in the First Order that wiped out the New Republic in one terrible blast. He’d killed his own father, and broken his mother’s heart.

“The dark side promises power, strength.” Anakin said spitefully. But it offers only pain, suffering, and loss.”

Kylo’s vision was blurred by the emotional turmoil. “I have already given so much to the dark side.” He muttered, “I’ve destroyed everything in my path.”

“Not everything.”

Kylo looked up, meeting his grandfather’s gaze.

“You still feel the pull to the light. It’s the reason you were able to find me here.”

Kylo stood slowly. “Tell me what I have to do.”

“What is it that you truly want?” Anakin replied, his blue outline fading away. “Only when you understand that will you see the path forward.”

“Grandfather!” Kylo cried out, but it was too late. Anakin was gone.

Kylo turned around, facing outward toward the sun as it lit up the water and dazzled the skyline. He’d never taken much time to think about what he wanted. He’d been reaching for power for so long, but that was not what drove his decisions. It never had been.

He flashed to memories of his childhood. His friends would always gawk whenever one of his parents was around. The brave and beautiful Princess Leia Organa and the renowned pilot Captain Han Solo. And then there was his uncle, the great Luke Skywalker. They were heroes, legends, myths almost. They were the saviors of the galaxy, the heroes of the rebellion.

And what was he?

He was constantly plagued by dark thoughts, and he sensed his parents growing fear of him. They were distant, using their positions as an excuse, but he saw through it. He knew Leia sensed the darkness in him. He knew that’s why he was sent off to Luke.

Here they were, the beacons of the light, and yet they’d created a monster. Ben had tried so hard to be what they wanted, to be a good son, to be a good Jedi. None of it had been enough. He was never going to be good enough for them.

And so he’d embraced the darkness he’d been fighting for so long, believing it was his destiny. If he didn’t belong with the light, then he must belong to the darkness.

But he hadn’t belonged there either. Not fully, not in the way Snoke desired. He’d gone too far to look back, but still not far enough.

He sank to his knees beside his grandmother’s tomb. He had his answers, but they were not the ones he’d expected. Now, more than ever before, he felt lost.

Suddenly his coms unit blinked to life once again. Tizo had sent through an urgent message.

**Hux taking fleet to hyperspace. Location not confirmed, but I suspect Bespin. Unsure how he discovered. Please advise.**

Kylo’s tightened his hands into tight fists. Tizo would not have betrayed him, but that didn’t mean Hux did not have other methods of discovering the same information.

He stood up, pacing back and forth. He should let Hux go. Their goal was destroy the Resistance. This was their opportunity. But his mother would be there. And Rey.

She was the one person who saw him as he was and didn’t run away. She was just as lost as he was, trying to find her place. Trying to belong.

That was what he wanted, he realized. He wanted to belong, to have someone see him as he was and accept that. But he had to embrace his own truth first. He couldn’t keep fighting the light that still existed within him, but he also couldn’t shed the darkness that was always there.

He stopped pacing and looked down at Padmé’s face one last time. Anakin was right. His path forward was his own, and it was forming in front of him. He would not make the same mistakes his grandfather made, not anymore. 

He knew what he had to do.


	18. The Mother’s Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking a brief Rey, Kylo, Leia detour and spending some time with our favorite Resistance pilot. 
> 
> But I assure you, there is enough Reylo here to satisfy until they meet again.

 

Poe called after Rey as she’d disappeared into the cave, but she’d walked on as if she was being pulled in by a tractor beam, completely oblivious to everything else around her. The cave rejected him as he attempted to run in after her, sending him flying back down on the cold floor.

Huffing in frustration, Poe pulled himself back up to his feet. He had no idea how long she’d be in there, and it made him uneasy that he wouldn’t be able to reach her if she needed help.

Not that Rey would need his help. She was impressive to say the least. She was everything the Resistance needed to survive, a powerful spark of hope to rally around.

But there was something else too. He couldn’t put his finger on it. She was mysterious, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something she was hiding. 

It was clear that she was uncomfortable with the role she’d been thrust into. He couldn’t blame her for that. It was a lot to take on. A load of responsibility that she hadn’t seen coming and certainly wasn’t prepared for. 

Poe wasn’t quite as unprepared as Rey, but his life hadn’t exactly gone the way he’d expected either. From the time he was a child he’d dreamed of following in his mother’s footsteps and becoming a pilot to rival all of his Rebellion heroes. He thought he would accomplish that when he became a commander in the New Republic Defense Fleet. He was the best pilot in his class and he was determined to make a difference. 

But the New Republic wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and it wasn’t until General Organa offered him a place in the Resistance that he felt he was doing something meaningful. All of this happened to Rey so fast. Maybe she just needed some time.

He stood for a moment and looked out at the expansive atrium before him allowing the weight of its history began to sink in. Generations of fabled Jedi came to this place. It was rich with stories that were lost to time, a galaxy that he would never know.

His decision to come with Rey was out of character for him. Normally he would’ve jumped on the opportunity to recruit rather than go on some folly mission of self-discovery to an uncharted planet in the Unknown Regions. But he’d always been fascinated by the Force and the Jedi, ever since he was a boy. The tree Luke Skywalker gifted his parents lured him in, desperate to connect. He wasn’t Force sensitive, but that hadn’t stopped him from running around their home on Yavin IV, pretending to be a Jedi Knight like Luke Skywalker or Obi-Wan Kenobi. This place was the closest he would ever come to being part of those legends.

Poe made his way over to a pedestal in the center of the room and leaned back against it. For all he knew, Rey could be in that cave for hours. And if he wasn’t going to be able to go in after her, he might as well rest while he waited. Shutting his eyes, he drifted quickly, the exhaustion he’d pushed away taking hold and pulling him under.

               ————————— 

_He stands on a balcony looking out on a breathtaking scene. In the distance mountains meet bright turquoise water that extends to and surrounds the villa he stands behind. Ancient trees grow up from the depths below, providing shade from the blinding sunlight beyond._

_“...Seven, eight, nine, ten.” He counted aloud. “Ready or not, here I come.”_

_He appeared to be alone on the balcony as he bent low and peaked around the nearby curves and crevices. That was until he saw a small foot peeking out from behind a flower pot nearby._

_“I wonder where she could be hiding.” He teased loudly, leaning over the railing and down into the water below dramatically. “She must be in the lake. I’ll have to go in after her...”_

_A small giggle erupted from behind the pot and he crept over to it, jumping out at the child hiding there. She squealed in delight as he picked her up and swung her around._

_The little girl was young, no older than three or four, with dark curls that cascaded down a lightly freckled face. She had a bright, wide smile, and soft brown eyes that captivated him for a moment. They seemed so familiar, like he’d seen them staring back at him countless times before._

_He stared at her a moment too long, wondering who this child was, when he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him._

_“What trouble are you two getting into now?” Poe spun around to find Rey smiling back at him, her arms crossed over her chest. He knew it was her, but she looked different. She was dressed casually, but her clothing was elegant and her hair was down. She looked happy, and beautiful. She was glowing._

_The little girl giggled again as she pushed away, wanting to be let down. He obliged and she immediately ran to Rey, jumping up into her arms. “Uncle Poe and I were just playing Momma.”_

_So the little girl was Rey’s child, and she’d referred to him as “uncle” Poe, so he was not the father. Strange then, that he would be here, dreaming of Rey’s little girl._

_He continued to smile at them as Rey began to step closer, tickling her daughter while she did. “How’d you let Uncle Poe find you so quickly?” Rey teased. “Did you giggle too much?”_

_Rey nuzzled her nose against her daughters cheek as the girl turned away laughing. Her eyes met his once again and he noted the familiar way they scrunched when she smiled. There were hints of Rey in the girl’s features, but what he found most striking was what she had not received from her mother. He wanted to ask who the father was. Maybe that would explain why the little girl looked so familiar..._

_He saw a shadow emerge from the corner of his eye and both he and Rey turned to acknowledge the new presence. It was a man, tall, with dark wavy hair. He was dressed with the same casual elegance that Rey was, in a a light gray shirt that emphasized his strong form. Poe knew at once that he was the father. The little girl was a lovely mix of the two of them. He walked over to Rey and kissed her forehead gently as the child reached out to him._

_“Daddy!” She cried out gleefully._

_The man smiled at the little girl as he plucked her from her mother’s arms. She threw her arms around his neck as he wrapped his free arm around Rey’s waist. She looked up at him adoringly, and Poe couldn’t help but feel that he was intruding on a private family moment._

_Then the man turned to face Poe directly and Poe stood in shock as recognition dawned on him. He’d seen this man before, albeit only from a distance without a mask. Even so, there was no mistaking that the man who stood before him was the same man who walked out to face down Luke Skywalker on Crait._

_And that meant that the father of Rey’s beautiful little girl was Kylo Ren._

_Before Poe could say anything, Rose and Finn appeared behind Rey and Kylo, walking toward them from the villa._

_Rose was the first to break the silence. “This place is beautiful Ben. You said it belonged to your grandmother’s family?”_

_Ben? Kylo Ren’s real name was Ben? That seemed an odd coincidence. Leia and Han’s son had been named Ben as well._

_The man nodded, looking fondly at the little girl in his arms and kissing her cheek before answering. “My mother never knew until much later in life. And by then she had no use for such a place.” His voice was deep and silky, not nearly as menacing as it had been when distorted by his mask._

_Finn piped up next, rushing over to the edge of the balcony and looking out at the water. “Well, General Organa was crazy to turn down a place like this. It’s incredible!”_  

_General Organa. Leia. This man, Kylo Ren, was her son. That was why the little girl’s eyes looked so familiar. They were her grandmother’s eyes, Leia’s eyes. And also, he now realized, her son’s._

_He watched as Rey took the man who was Kylo Ren’s hand in her own and gently caressed their daughter’s face. They looked so happy, so content. A beautiful little family made from two enemies on opposite sides of a war._

_Suddenly Poe’s dream shifted away from the balcony. He was standing in an open space. He would’ve guessed his surroundings were clouds if he’d been forced to call them something._

_He turned around, trying to determine where he was when he saw a figure walking toward him. It was a woman, dressed in all white._

_As she stopped directly before him, he took in her appearance. She was beautiful, with tan skin and dark curly hair. He recognized her immediately._

_“Mom?”_

_“Hi baby.” Shara Bey smiled at him, that same smile he remembered so well from his childhood. It was slightly off center, with a twinge of mischief. He’d missed it every day since she’d passed._

_His heart swelled as he blinked back tears. “You’re really here?”_

_“I was never really gone, darling. I’ve been with you this whole time.”_

_Poe grabbed at the necklace around his neck. From the day she’d given it to him when he was only seven years old, he’d never taken it off. It was his good luck charm._

_“Poe,” Shara stepped closer, caressing his face in her hands. “You’ve been so brave. Your father and I are so proud of you.”_

_He stared into his mother’s eyes as a sob broke in his chest. All he’d wanted, all his life, was to make his parents proud. To do honor to their memory and protect the very freedom that they fought so hard for. To hear her say it was almost too much. He reached for her, collapsing into her as she pulled him into a tight embrace._

_Poe projected confidence in the Resistance’s ability to survive, knowing that his friends needed to see it to believe in it themselves. He’d learned from the best, watching as General Organa continued to stand strong and confident despite the heartbreak she endured time and time again. But here, in the safety of his mother’s arms, tucked deep inside his own consciousness, he allowed himself to feel the fear and uncertainty he had long repressed._

_“I don’t know what comes next.” Poe muttered, his forehead pressed against his mother’s shoulder. “I want to believe that we have everything we need. But sometimes, I’m not so sure. I’m not the leader I need to be.”_

_Shara leaned back, forcing him to look at her again. “Nonsense. Leia believes in you. I believe in you. And besides, it is not all in your hands.”_

_Poe cocked his head, confused by her last comment. She smiled knowingly, taking his hands in her own. “The Force is showing you things. Things you need to see. There are many paths forward and none of them will be easy. But you must keep an open mind.”_

_He recalled the dream he had only just left, where Rey and Kylo Ren were living together in domestic bliss. Was it possible that this was one of those paths forward? It seemed impossible._

_His mother reached up, caressing his cheek once again. “You’re ready to lead Poe. And when the time comes, you will know what to do.”_

_Poe let his head fall, taking in a deep breath. “I’ve missed you Mom.”_

_Shara dropped her hand from his cheek and gently rubbed the necklace around his neck with her thumb as she bent down to meet his gaze once again. “I am always with you, my starfighter. Always.”_

“Poe!”

There was a hand on his shoulder, shaking his body and pulling him away from his mother.

_No. No I don’t want to go yet._

“Poe! Wake up! Please. We have to go. Now!”

His eyes shot open and he saw Rey staring down at him, her hands still on his shoulders.

“You’re back” he replied drowsily. 

“We have to go” her voice was shaking as she stood up and offered him a hand. He accepted and she pulled him to his feet.

“Why? What’s going on?” Her urgency concerned him and he quickly snapped back to full attention, leaving his dream behind.

“It’s the First Order.” She said, fear burning bright in her eyes. “They know about Bespin. They’re already on their way.”

Poe stood stunned for only a second before he spun on his heels and they both ran from the cave. There would be time to ask questions later. Right now, they had to act.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, for your wonderful comments, and for being patient as my release of new chapters has slowed down. 
> 
> I am hoping to have a new chapter out at least once a week from here on out.


	19. The Warning

General Hux stood on the bridge of the Finalizer, an arrogant smirk adorning his frighteningly pale face as he stared down at the molten planet below. The First Order fleet was on the opposite side of the galaxy from the small mining planet Bespin. Only the Finalizer had made the journey to Mustafar. The rest of the ships guarded the remains of the Supremacy, gathered around Crait while repairs began. They would have to wait for the remaining Star Destroyers to join them before they could attack.

While a nuisance, he was not worried. The Resistance had no warning. He could bare the sixteen hours it would take to convene the fleet knowing that at the end of it, the last remnants of the Resistance would be snuffed out for good.

“General.” He spun to look down at one of the communications officer who had spoken. “The Supreme Leader is making contact.”

Hux stiffened. There was no reason for Ren to suspect him. The Finalizer had not moved from its orbit around Mustafar and he’d made sure that the insufferable knight Ren left behind had heard nothing of his plans. Hux turned to exit the bridge before replying. Snoke humiliated him on this very bridge once before. He would not allow Kylo Ren to do the same. “Patch him through to the audience chamber. I will take it in there.”

Hux strode from the bridge swiftly, allowing no time for Ren to force his way through while in the presence of other officers. The doors to the chamber had hardly closed behind him when the upper half of Ren’s figure appeared before him.

“General.”

“Supreme leader.” Hux sneered, bowing his head lightly. It was just enough to acknowledge Ren’s title and to avoid an overt act of disrespect.

“Care to explain why the Finalizer is preparing for a jump to hyperspace?” 

Startled, Hux swallowed hard. There was no way Ren could’ve known that he was preparing the ship for hyperspace. Besides, they had hours before the rest of the fleet would arrive. He looked behind him at nothing, before deciding on his response.

“We are rejoining the rest of the fleet.” It was not technically a lie. “Unless you have other plans. The Resistance, for example. Have you succeeded in locating their remnants?” 

Ren hesitated a moment, as Hux felt a strange pain in his cerebrum. He had spun himself out of the corner and forced Ren into it instead. If the man refused to give up the location of the Resistance hideout, then Hux’s suspicions would be confirmed.

“We will discuss our strategy upon my return” Ren replied. “Make no movements until then.”

Hux couldn’t keep the smirk from his face. “As you wish, Supreme Leader.”

With that, Ren disappeared before him. 

What a fool. He’d all but given himself up. Hux knew that Ren was lying about the girl defeating Snoke. There was no way she could’ve defeated him, the praetorian guards, and Ren himself. Even less probable was the idea that she would leave him alive. Now, by not being forthcoming with the Resistance’s location, Ren had proven himself too conflicted to lead the First Order. No matter. He was halfway across the galaxy on Naboo. He would not be able to stop them from destroying Bespin and the Resistance. And if he dared to try, Hux would take him down with them. 

All his plans were finally starting to fall into place. 

 

———————————

 

Kylo stood, seething, in the cockpit of his ship. Hux hadn’t even attempted to cover his bold faced lies. His treachery was written all over his petulant face. What Kylo saw when he reached into his mind only confirmed what he already knew. Hux was bringing the fleet to Bespin, and he had every intent to take him down next. 

He turned, pressing his fists into tight balls and taking a deep breath inward, trying to focus. He would do everything in his power to stop Hux, but he couldn’t guarantee that he would succeed. But he could warn Rey. He could give her the time she needed to escape. That would have to be enough.

He reached out, feeling for the string that tied them together in the Force. The last time he’d pulled on it, he had been desperate and afraid. He felt much the same now. He couldn’t lose her, not if he had any way of stopping it. But the last time they’d spoken she’d cut him off, her disappointment in him palpable even after her image went away. He didn’t know if she would let him in this time, only that he had to try.

The familiar buzz of the Force bond pulsed to life and he felt it snap into place as he opened his eyes.

Rey spun on her heels before him, poised in a defensive position, a striking double sided blue blade lighting up her glistening face. He recognized the hilt. It was the same as the staff she carried with her. She’d repurposed it into a new weapon, one that combined the old into something new. Something that encapsulated both who she was and where she’d come from. He could feel its energy and it mirrored her own.

He might’ve been mad that his grandfather’s lightsaber, the one he claimed belonged to him, had been destroyed and remade in this way, but he wasn’t. Instead he felt something blooming inside of him that he hadn’t known he was capable of: pride.

“I see you made a new lightsaber.”

Her eyes dropped down to the weapon in her hand, balancing the center on one finger before turning it off and attaching it to her belt.

“I did.” She replied. He sensed her excitement and realized she had only just completed it. The corner of his mouth twitched up, but he fought back the smile. She looked flustered and worn, no doubt the exertion of building the lightsaber anew had taken its toll.

“It suits you.” He offered. 

Her eyes shot up to meet his and she stared him in silence for a moment. Finally, she pivoted to a different topic altogether.“Did you go to Naboo?”

“Yes.” He replied, unconsciously taking a small step toward her.

“Oh.” This seemed to take her by surprise. Her eyes softened noticeably before she broke his gaze and looked away from him. “Did you... did you find what you were looking for?”

He waited until she looked up at him again before he answered, wanting, no, needing to see into the hazel orbs that pulled him down deeper, into her very soul. 

“I did.” He replied softly, taking another small step closer. He wanted to tell her everything, right then and there. He wanted to tell her about the Force sensitive Queen, and his grandmother’s journals, and the truths his grandfatherrevealed to him. He wanted to tell her because he knew she would listen. She would care.

But he didn’t have time for that now. He needed her to get away if there would ever be a chance for him to tell all he learned. He needed her to hear his warning and believe him, and he needed to do it fast.

“Rey,” He pulled his shoulders back and reset his tone to that of the Kylo Ren she had once feared, hoping to intimidate her into action. “I know the Resistance is with Calrissian. The First Order fleet is en route to Bespin now.”

She composed herself quickly, but he did not miss the fear that flashed in her eyes as her body stiffened at his words. “I don’t know what your talking about.”

He bent his head down to meet her gaze. “No?”

Her eyes narrowed and he could feel her suspicion radiating across the bond. “Why are you telling me this?”

He didn’t answer, instead puzzling over something else that seemed off. She pulled the thick coat tighter around her body and it dawned on him that she would not need such clothes on Bespin. 

He reclined his head slightly and breathed a sigh of relief.“You’re not with them.”

Her mouth tightened into a hard line as she stood up taller. She was blocking him from her mind with all her might, but he didn’t need to see inside to know what she planned to do.

“Don’t go back.” He shook his head insistently. “I can’t stop them. You’ll be killed.” 

His warning wasn’t enough. He felt the bond slipping as she turned away.

“Rey!” He called after her, his arm reaching out as if to pull her back. She spun around, her eyes darting from his outstretched hand up to his own eyes as he dropped his hands back to his side, her glare stopping him in his tracks.

“Why do you suddenly care if I live or die?” She shouted at him angrily. “Do you just need to do it yourself? Is that was this is?” 

He shook his head and stepped toward her again, but she backed away defensively. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand.” Her angry gaze tore through him. “You’re the Supreme Leader of the First Order. If you wanted to stop this, you could.”

“No!” He yelled back, his frustration getting the better of him. “Hux is doing this against my orders. I have nothing to do with this.”

Rey’s eyebrows contorted in confusion as she shook her head. “I can’t leave my friends behind to die. I can’t let Leia, _your mother_ , go that way.”

The mention of his mother had the intended affect. He recoiled away from her, his gaze hardening to match her own. She was stubbornly loyal to his mother’s band of outlaws. It was the reason she hadn’t joined him after the throne room battle, and it would be the reason she left again now.

“I know you saw it.” He said, desperately pulling for the last thread of hope that she would listen. “The villa on the lake. I know that’s how you knew about Naboo.” 

He stepped closer to her again and this time she stood her ground, looking up to meet his gaze as she realized what he was saying. Where moments ago she had been angry, now she looked sad and confused.

“It was just a dream.” She replied, looking away from him.

“What if it wasn’t?” Her eyes widened as they shot back up to meet his.

She stared at him for a moment and he sensed the conflict brewing inside of her. Then, like a blaster shot to the gut, her eyes hardened again, her resolution made. “The man in my dream was Ben Solo.” She said softly. “I don’t know who you are.”

And with those final words, she vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real question is, does Ben/Kylo know who he is? And if he does, what is he going to do about it? 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and as always, I love to here what you all think (and want to see happen)!


	20. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News starts spreading and plans are made as we check back in with the rest of our Resistance friends and their fresh-faced new recruits.

Leia stood at the window of the formal dining room where Lando Calrissian had betrayed them all those years ago. It had been a long day filled with meetings. That kept her mind away from the fact that it was in this very room where her biological father once again watched as she suffered.

Han had brought Ben to visit Lando on Bespin a few times when he was young, but Leia had always stayed away, claiming it was good father/son bonding time. In truth, the wounds were too deep, the cuts still too fresh.

Now as she stood looking out at the picture perfect painting of a white city in a sky of pink and orange, she understood why Han had returned with their son. She’d never appreciated just how beautiful Bespin really was. It was a peaceful place. She would’ve enjoyed coming here with her family if the circumstances had been different. She could add her failure to join them to her list of regrets, another opportunity to be together as a family that had passed them by.

“I’m sorry to have brought you back here.” Lando said, breaking her from her thoughts as he stepped to stand beside her. “At the very least, the room has been redocorated.”

She smiled slightly as she turned back to look over the space, her hands grasping the top of the chair. It was not the same one that Vader sat in all those years ago, but that did little to settle her as a chill ran down her spine.

“Lando,” She started with a sigh, “I don’t know if Han ever told you this, but he forgave you for that day. So did I. You made the necessary choice, as a leader, to save your people. I would’ve done the same had the roles been reversed.”

Lando smiled slightly as he looked down. “Han did tell me. But that doesn’t mean I ever completely forgave myself. That old smuggler may have been a pain in my ass more times than I can count, but he didn’t deserve that. Neither of you did.”

Leia stepped away from the chair and rested her hand over Lando’s, meeting his eyes with a sad smile. “You made up for it.”  

A sad silence passed between for a moment. She’d been purposefully avoiding being totally alone with Lando, unable to face the hard questions she knew he had. In truth, she’d been avoiding them for far longer then she cared to admit. It was the main reason she and Han had separated. It was easier to fight on if she remained in the moment. Looking to the past only brought heartbreak and pain.

But she could not avoid him forever. Not as long as they were here on Bespin. He and Chewie were the last ties she had to her happy memories with Han and Ben. She’d been slowly sharing some of those memories with Rey, but she’d repressed the worst of them. Someday she knew she’d have to face the truth. She just hadn’t wanted that day to be today.

“Leia,” he began, his age showing plainly on his face as he grew somber again.“I know you don’t want to talk about it. But I just can’t wrap my head around what happened. Ben...” 

Before he could finish, the doors of the dining room slid open and C-3PO appeared.

“I am terribly sorry your Highness, but there is an urgent message for you from Commander Dameron and Miss Rey.”

Leia’s eyes shot up to meet Lando’s before they turned back to the droid, relieved by the well-timed distraction.“Patch it through Threepio. And close the door behind you.”

Threepio rushed into the room as instructed and flashed the message before them.

“General,” it was Poe, his tone urgent and his face wrought with concern, “the First Order is on it’s way. I don’t...” he turned to look behind him, “I don’t know how they found out about Bespin, but they’re coming. Rey and I are preparing the jump to light speed now. We will be there as soon as we can.”

Leia felt her heart drop in her chest as Poe’s image disappeared. If she’d been able to speak to them, she would’ve insisted they stay away, but Poe was too impulsive and reckless to hide out while his friends faced danger. And Rey... Rey may well be the reason the First Order found out in the first place.

Rey’s bond with her son was a potential problem. She hadn’t been so blinded by the hope it sparked in her that she didn’t realize it. It certainly wasn’t the only possible way the First Order could’ve discovered their location, but she couldn’t rule it out.

Lando moved across the room to open the door for his trusted cyborg Lobot to enter, stirring Leia from her thoughts. 

“Send out the evacuation signal.” Lando said quietly. “The whole city.” 

Lobot nodded his acknowledgement and left the room as swiftly as he’d entered. Then Lando turned back to Leia, his hand outstretched to hers. “We’ll get everyone out.”

She nodded and placed her hand in his. It didn’t matter how they’d been discovered, only that they had been given enough warning to save as many people as they could.

This time would be different. This time she trusted him. And they had work to do.

 

————————————

 

“Chewie!” Finn yelled as he and Rose skidded to a halt below their ship, waiting for the entry ramp to drop. “Chewie come on!” 

Their mission to Hays Minor had not exactly gone as expected. While they’d successfully infiltrated the crystal mines, actually getting their new recruits off the planet had proven a difficult task. 

“CHEWIE!” 

The Wookie spun in place by the door of the hangar, sending blast after blast at the stormtroopers as the rest of the crew filtered into the ship. Noting that they were all onboard, Chewie roared back and turned to run after them, blowing past Finn and racing into the ship.

With a final shot toward the approaching Stormtroopers, Finn joined them inside the moments later they were rising off the ground and shooting out of the hangar. 

“Well that was close.” Finn said, gripping his side as he tried to catch his breath. Six pairs of eyes stared back at him, their bodies also recovering from the sprint they’d all made for their lives.

Six. They’d only saved six. 

The six that were with them were the best of the recruits. They were young and hungry, with skillsets the Resistance desperately needed. They’d chosen them for a reason, but it didn’t make it any easier to leave thousands of others behind. Rose fought him tooth and nail over the orphan children they discovered huddled in a dark corner of the mine, starving and afraid. She wanted to save them all, but they couldn’t. Not today at least.

He noted the fear and sadness in the eyes their new recruits. They were leaving behind their families to join a war, not knowing if they would ever see them again.

“We’ll go back for them.” He said, meeting each of their gazes. “All of them. I promise.”

Of course, he could not make that promise in good faith. But they needed this team to be alert and ready. Dwelling on the past would do no one good.

“Iri” Rose’s voice shot out from the cockpit, followed quickly by her petite frame. The small Mirilian pilot spun around, surprised to hear her name. “Can you help Chewie co-pilot? Finn, Sage, take the guns. Everyone else, brace yourselves. We’re not getting out of here without a fight.” 

Finn nodded to the young man namedSage and led the way down the corridor to the gun shaft as a blast shook the ship. 

“Do you know how to work these?” Finn asked as they leaned down into their respective gunner compartments. 

Sage smiled sardonically. “I think I can figure it out. Besides, how much experience did you have in sanitation, Stromtrooper?”

Finn smiled as he settled into his seat and pulled on his comms headset. “Touché Sage. Touché.” 

It had been a risk telling their new recruits the truth of his history, but he was no longer ashamed of his time with the First Order. It made him an asset to the Resistance, but it also inspired many of them to see another way out. If he could defect from the Order after the rigorous conditioning he was put through, then they could escape slavery and change their own outcomes too.

This would be brief fight if all went according to plan. They could make quick work of the two tie-fighters that had jettisoned from Hays Minor in pursuit and punch their way into hyperspace.

“Alright Sage,” Finn called. “Two fighters six o’clock. I’ve got right, you get left.”

“On it.” The young man replied, taking out the TIE-fighter almost immediately. Finn struggled a bit more to nail down his target, but with some smooth maneuvering from the cock-pit, he clipped the left panel of the ship, causing it to spiral uncontrollably into the black abyss of space.

“Good enough.” Finn mumbled as he pulled himself out of the gunner’s seat and met Sage in the hall. “Nice shooting kid. Where’d you learn to maneuver like that?"

Sage shrugged. “Nowhere really, I just sort of, I don’t know, felt for it.” 

Before Finn could respond, Rose’s head appeared in the corridor. “Finn, we’re getting a message from General Organa. Come on.”

He followed quickly after her, entering the common area where everyone but Iri had gathered around. Chewie must’ve left the girl in charge of the ship. That was a big step forward in trust for the Wookie. It appeared their new recruits were coming through quite nicely.

Rose clicked the comms link and the blue image of General Organa flittered to life before them.

“Finn, Rose, Chewie. I have bad news. We’ve received word from Commander Dameron and Rey that the First Order has discovered our location. We are beginning evacuation proceedings now.I am patching through new coordinates for the rendezvous point.” The General paused for a moment, entering something into a computer before she looked back up with desperation in her eyes. “Whatever happens, it is imperative that you continue on. Do not come back here. We will meet you soon.” 

With that, Leia’s image disappeared. Finn’s turned immediately to Rose and Chewie. 

“We have to go back.” Finn said, stepping forward. “They don’t have enough ships. There’s no way they’ll all get out alive.” 

Chewie spoke out loudly in Shyriiwook.

“Chewie’s right.” Rose said, placing a gentle hand on Finn’s wrist. “General Organa specifically said not to go back there. We have to follow her orders.”

“Do you think Poe and Rey will follow those orders?” Finn yelled, pulling away from her. “There’s no way they won’t go back.” 

Rose just shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what Poe and Rey do. We don’t know what the General asked of them. Only what she asked of us. And we have to think of the bigger picture now.” She gestured to the five young recruits that were circled around the room. They’d been silent throughout the message, but their faces expressed the fear Finn felt. 

Rose stepped forward again, placing a hand on Finn’s arm. “I know you want to be the hero, but today being the hero means following orders. The General will get everyone out. All we’d be doing is putting more people in harms way.”

Finn looked around at the people they’d just rescued from a life of slavery. Ree and Giza, the Twi’leki twins, were hardly older than seventeen of eighteen, just like Sage. And Kitnik, the Wookie child Chewie recruited had never even seen his home planet of Kashyyyk. Only the engineer, Ty, was older than Finn or Rose, and even then it was not by much.

They were just kids. Old enough to know their way around a ship and to make their own decisions, but certainly not old enough to die for a cause. Especially not one they had yet to be a part of. Each of them had a particular set of skills that would prove useful for the Resistance, and they had all agreed to join the fight. But the fight needed to last beyond today. These up and comers would be the future of the Resistance. Finn saw now what Leia was asking of them when she said they had to go on. 

She was trusting them with the Resistance’s future. And that was worth more than the few lives they might be able to save today. 

“Alright fine.” Finn said, looking up at Chewbacca. “We head to the rendezvous point.”

 Rose smirked slightly and Chewie nodded his approval before heading back to the cock-pit to enter in the new coordinates. 

Finn huffed his way over to the table and plopped down on the cushioned bench. Only a few months ago he would’ve been one of the soldiers marching on Bespin, seeking to wipe out the Resistance. Now he was tasked with protecting its future. 

How different his life might’ve been had Kylo Ren not captured Poe that day on Jakku. Or if he’d never met Rey and escaped on the Millennium Falcon. He’d been so consumed with protecting Rey for so long. Now he was being asked to stay away, to let her put her life at risk once again. He hated it. He knew she wasn’t his to protect, that she could take care of herself, but it didn’t make it easier to sit back and wait. 

Rose crossed the common area and came to sit beside him, grabbing hold of his hand and smiling at him gently. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to. Just her presence was enough to remind him that he had so much more to fight for now. He had a family of people to protect, and it was growing bigger everyday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and support. Next week we head into battle :)


	21. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell is about to break loose on Bespin. Will our heroes make it out in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the delay in this chapter. I’ve had this section of the story planned out for a while now, but actually getting my vision written down has proven more difficult than I’d hoped. 
> 
> Thank you all for continuing to read this little story of mine. I always love to hear from you! It motivates me through my writers block :)

Poe reached across the cock-pit and grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly as they both let out deep sighs of relief. The First Order fleet hadn’t arrived yet. The Resistance still had a chance.

It had been a tense few hours in hyperspace. When Poe asked her how she’d learned about the attack she told him that she had a Force vision. He took her word, however skeptically, and didn’t question her any further. It wasn’t technically a lie, depending on how you looked at it, and yet she couldn’t shake the guilt she felt. Poe trusted her. She wasn’t sure she deserved that.

She tooled around the ship for a while in silent contemplation until Poe finally suggested they try and rest. There was nothing they could do, and unlike the Falcon, this ship needed no maintenance that could help pass the time.

They both headed to the crew’s quarters, but even in the darkness she knew sleep would not come. She was exhausted, that was true. Building the lightsaber had drained her physically, but the emotional toll of her visions and the force bond was far worse and her mind was racing trying to piece together what it all meant. 

Why had he come? Why had he tried to warn her? To keep her away? She felt a change in him, and saw it in his eyes. But it wasn’t the first time and she couldn’t let herself be fooled so easily again. The dream was beautiful, and now she knew he’d seen it too, but it meant nothing if it was still Kylo Ren staring back at her. He had a choice to make, and she couldn’t be the one to make it for him.

She knew Poe hadn’t slept much either, but they both did their best to pretend, laying in silence, lost in their thoughts until BB-8 rolled in to let them know they were about to arrive.

As they entered the planets atmosphere Poe maneuvered his way between the many ships that were leaving the planet.

“They’re all civilian craft or shuttles” Rey noted as they approached the landing pad they’d been cleared for. “They must be evacuating the whole city.” 

“Good.” Poe replied, flipping the switch for the landing gears. “The fewer people here, the better.”

As Poe pulled the ship down to land Rey turned back to BB-8 who was beeping beside them. “I’m not sure buddy. We should go find General Organa. Then I’ll get the Falcon.”

“Aye, aye Master Jedi.” Poe replied as he finished the ships landing sequence. He saluted her before jumping out of his seat. She followed close behind as they ran down the ships ramp onto the long landing platform.

They’d hardly made it out of the ship before they heard it, the sound of a Star Destroyer exiting hyperspace. They both spun around and looked up. Three destroyers were already orbiting the planet and another appeared before they could look away. They had made it to Bespin, but not soon enough.

“Change of plans.” Poe yelled, as they both turned back and sprinted down the platform. “Get to the Falcon! I’ll get Leia and the others!”

 

——————————

 

Kylo pulled his ship out of hyperspace and immediately knew she was there. He could feel her presence pulsating like a live wire. But hers was not the only familiar presence he felt in the Force. His mother was here too.

She really was alive. Last time he felt his mother’s presence he was being torn apart from the inside out, realizing a moment too late that she wasn’t angry with him. She just wanted him back. The realization made him pause a moment too long. It much the same this time. He knew the moment she recognized he was there, her emotions shifting perceptively.

Checking that his cloaking device was activated, Kylo steered his ship down through the planets atmosphere. He’d been here many times as a child to visit the man he once called “uncle”. As he flew down through the thick clouds, his memories swam back from deep in his subconscious. Han first taught him to fly here on Bespin. He remembered the ecstasy he felt steering the ship all on his own, his father sitting beside him proudly. Then there were the nights Lando would wake him up and sneak him out for blaster lessons. 

_“Your mother will kill me if she finds out about this, so it’s our little secret. Alright kiddo?”_

Han caught them once, but instead of being mad, he’d shrugged it off, joining in on their fun.

_“You were going to learn someday. Better to learn from best.” His faced had flashed that signature lopsided smirk before growing serious again, pointing his finger as he often did. “But your mother never finds out.”_

_Lando had laughed. “Wouldn’t want to find ourselves on the wrong side of Leia’s blaster would we?”_

_“No.” Han replied nervously, helping Ben adjust his stance. “No, we would not.”_

His mother never came with them on these “adventures”, as she called them, only going to visit Lando after he moved on to Corellia. Something had happened to her here, something she never wanted to speak of. It was for that reason that he never suspected Bespin. And yet this was the place she’d come back to in her most desperate hour.

He pulled himself away from this sentimentality. It was the first time he’d thought back on his childhood in many years. He’d pushed all of those memories deep down inside him, focusing only on the pain and sorrow. That was until he’d been unwittingly dragged into his mother’s through the Force bond. While he’d experienced his share of heartache and anger, there had been many good moments in his life. He’d been happy once. They all had.

Until he destroyed it all.

The city was buzzing as ship after ship roared into the sky, a city wide evacuation clearly in effect. He knew Rey would’ve warned the Resistance as soon their Force connection ended, but it appeared they insisted on being the last to leave. That shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did. His mother was not one to run from a fight. She never had been. But they’d had ample time to get away. Something was holding her back.

Shedding his black cape, he clipped his lightsaber to his waist and exited the ship, following the pull of the connection he’d tried for so long to sever.

Last time he’d been weak, conflicted. Not this time. This time he knew what he had to do. He just had to find them.

 

——————————

 

“General” Leia spun around at the sound of Poe Dameron’s voice. “General, we have to go. The First Order will be landing any minute now.”

Leia looked past him, searching for his companion and finding that she was not there. “Where is Rey?”

“She went to the Falcon.” Poe replied urgently, moving to hold her arm. “I told her you’d meet her there.”

“I will.” Leia nodded. “But we need to get everyone else out first. Where is the ship you returned on?”

“On the landing pad. But General...”

Leia turned away from him toward the remaining resistance controllers. “All of you, go with Commander Dameron.” She turned back to Poe. “Get them out on that ship. I will find Rey.”

Poe stared at her a moment longer before nodding and leaving the control room. Kaydel Connix and the others turned to her one last time before following swiftly behind him.

“Your highness, the Falcon is in located in hanger 26-C” Threepio chirped from behind her. He and Artoo had stayed behind with her. Of course they had. They were loyal droids, sometimes to a fault.

“Then what are we waiting for?” She replied, gesturing to the droids to lead the way.

Leia grabbed her commlink off the navigation chart and joined the droids in the hall, following after R2-D2 as he led them down the long white halls. The building was eerily silent, all civilians and personnel having been the first to evacuate the city. She’d insisted that the Resistance stay behind to take care of the details. They were the reason that the First Order was coming in the first place. She would not leave the people of Cloud City to deal with the outcome of a First Order attack.  

“Lando,” She lifted the commlink to her lips and spoke softly. “Lando, can you hear me?”

“Yes! Leia! Are you alright?” Lando had left her hours before to oversee the civilian evacuation.

“Yes, I’m fine. Artoo, Threepio and I are heading to the Falc...” she stopped abruptly, her heart lurching in her chest as she felt it. His presence in the Force was unmistakeable. She knew immediately he was here.

_Ben._

Her heart swelled, filling with the love and longing she always felt when she thought of her son. No matter what he’d done, she would always want him back.

He felt different then he had last time they’d been near. When he’d been flying against the Resistance fleet he’d been a black hole of darkness and pain. Now she sensed something else stirring inside of him. The darkness was there, it always had been to varying degrees. But now she noted resolve, purpose. His conflict was gone. This was what she’d been feeling in the Force, the uneasy warning both she and Rey had experienced. He was here, now, searching for her.

She would not run. It was time she faced the truth. It was time she faced him.

“Leia? Leia what happened?” Lando was calling over the commlink. “You need to get out of the city now.”

“Ben.” She whispered, turning around and walking back from where they’d came, following the pull of her son’s presence.

“What!? Leia, listen to me! Where are you? You have to go!”

Leia clicked off the commlink. Lando wouldn’t understand. None of them would. But they’d forgive her someday she hoped. They’d forgive her for needing to see him one last time.

“Your highness.” Threepio spun around abruptly. “Where are you going? The hangar is this way!”

“Go ahead Threepio.” She replied, half in a daze. “I’ll be there shortly.”

“But Princess Leia, the First Order troops have landed. You must get to the ship...”

“I said go ahead, Threepio.” Her voice was stern as she turned back the droid one last time, breaking as she looked at his stoic golden expression. Somehow, despite the fact that his face never moved, he’d always managed to express more emotion than many humans she knew. “Please.”

Threepio stood stunned for a moment. No one had ever begged him for anything before. But here she was, begging him to let her go. She knew he’d listen.

“Oh my.” He muttered, hurrying after Artoo. “R2-D2, we must find Miss Rey.”

 

———————————

 

Rey found the Falcon exactly where she’d left it, sitting in the hangar that was now empty save for the broken remains of some old ships, likely dismembered pieces of Lando’s personal fleet.

The ship had been maintenanced while they were away, and she found it fully fueled and ready to go.

“Poe,” She said into her commlink “Are you on your way?”

“No.” Poe replied. “Leia should be there any minute. I’m taking everyone else in Lando’s ship. We’ll meet you at the rendezvous point.”

Rey breathed heavy. They were splitting up again. She didn’t like it. “Be safe Commander.”

“You too Jedi girl.”

She laid the commlink down and was reaching up to start the ship’s ignition sequence when she felt it.

_Kylo._

She dropped her hand to her side, feeling his presence so clearly in the Force. The conflict that swirled around him was gone, much like it had been in the throne room on the Supremacy. He’d made his choice. But what choice was it?

She was shook from thoughts by the sight of a familiar silver and blue Astro-droid appearing in the hangar entryway. He was followed by the golden protocol droid that was always with Leia. She looked out expectantly, waiting for Leia to appear. She didn’t.

Rey rushed from the cock-pit, grabbing a blaster and her lightsaber from the dejarik table and sprinting off the ship.

“Miss Rey! Oh, Miss Rey!” Threepio exclaimed, his hand raised above his head for emphasis. “It’s the Princess. She insisted we go on without her.”

“Where did she go, Threepio?” Rey replied, her hand gripping the blaster at her side.

“She wouldn’t say. Something about a ‘Ben.’”

Rey’s heart caught in her chest.

_No._

“The only Ben I know of was Master Ben. But he couldn’t possibly...”

“I’m going after her.” Rey cut the droid off, sprinting past him before calling over her shoulder. “Get on the Falcon. Be ready for takeoff when I get back!”

Rey sprinted out of the hangar, drowning out Threepio’s warnings. The Force was pulsing furiously around her and she followed its pull through the stark white halls, coming to a halt as she peeked around a corner into an open entryway. The door to the landing platform was open, the sounds of blaster fire growing closer with each passing second.

Leia stood with her back to Rey, her gray streaked hair still pulled back into the mourning knot she’d been wearing since Han’s death. On the other side stood her son. 

Rey grabbed at her blaster and moved to reveal herself, but it was too late.

A blaster shot fired through the open doorway, striking Leia directly.

 “NO!” Rey shrieked, running from her hiding place behind the doorway.

Instead she was thrown back into the hallway, the doorway shutting in front of her, locking her away. 

The last thing she saw was Ben running forward, cradling Leia in his arms as he Force closed all the doorways around them, his rage burning through the Force like a wildfire. 


	22. The Forgiven

Leia stood on the top step of the entryway wishing she could freeze herself in this moment forever.

Across the room stood a man she recognized immediately as her son, despite how much the years had changed him.

He was taller now, and far more built, with the same wild black hair covering his ears. It was quite a bit longer then it had been when he went off with Luke, but she knew it would be just as soft as she remembered.

But for everything that she recognized, there was so much she did not. He looked pale, gaunt, and tired, with dark circles under his eyes that looked almost like bruises. Most notable of all was the scar that crossed his right eye tracing all the way down below his neckline. It was dark and violent and she couldn’t help but wonder how many other scars he now had that she couldn’t see.

He said nothing, standing frozen to his spot just as she was. She could feel his emotions swelling inside him, a whirlwind of pain and heartbreak. She knew what he came to do and she would let him. She would forgive him. She already had.

Finally she looked into his eyes, meeting the gaze of the boy she’d once held in her arms as she rocked him to sleep. The child she’d loved unconditionally, but feared for every day of his life.

She was prepared to find anger, hated, or malice. Instead she found something she thought was lost forever: longing. He looked pained, like the weight he was carrying was too much to bear and he wanted nothing more than to throw it aside. They were the eyes of her son. The same son she’d promised to love, no matter what. The son who reminded her so much of his father, but even more so of herself.

“Mom...”

It was a desperate whisper, dripping with emotions that she thought she’d never find in him again. She wanted so badly to run to him, to pull him into her arms and never let go. To tell him she loved him and that everything would be alright. 

Instead she felt a pain rip through her abdomen, her legs giving out beneath her as a women’s shriek echoed from somewhere far away.

 

—————————————

 

He stood frozen across the room from a women he recognized immediately as his mother, despite how the years had changed her.

She looked older, her hair now more gray than brown, the lines across her face more plentiful. But she was no less beautiful. She was, and always would be, a princess. But unlike the ones in the fairy tales she’d read to him as a child, she had spent her life fighting a war. The toll it had taken on her body was clear. She’d aged so much in the decade since he’d last seen her. He knew that the choices he made had played no small part in that. 

He hadn’t known what he would feel upon seeing her again. So many years had been spent locking her away, tossing out all attachment and affection he’d once harbored for her. Now, standing across the room from her, watching her eyes grow wide with affection as she wandered over his features, he felt only longing.

He thought of all the nights he’d longed for her to be there, to help him understand what was going on inside of him. The betrayal he’d felt when she sent him away, only the discover she’d lied to him about his heritage all his life. The strange mixture of envy and rejection he felt every time she chose the Republic over him. There were so many things things he blamed her for, so much resentment attached to her memory.

But his memories were Snoke’s twisted version of the truth. The reality of her so much more. After a moment, she looked up, meeting his gaze directly and breaking his heart into a thousand pieces. 

Somehow, despite everything he’d done, she still loved him.

And somehow, despite his best efforts not to, he still loved her too.

“Mom...” his voice cracked on the word, one he never thought he’d utter again.

And then his world stopped. A blaster shot burst through the open doorway to the landing pad, slamming directly into Leia’s side. He heard a shriek of horror and looked up briefly to see Rey turning the corner behind Leia.

_No. Not her too._

He force threw her back into the safety of the hallway, slamming all the doors around them shut as he raced forward to capture his mother in his arms, cradling her against him just as she had done so many times before. 

“Mom...” he muttered again, bracing her against him. He could feel her fading rapidly.

Leia reached up, her hand caressing the scar on his face, the one that traced the line of his father’s last touch.

“Ben...” she smiled slightly, her eyes so full of love he thought he’d split in two. “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head, words eluding him as the tears formed in his eyes.

“I failed you. We all failed you. I want you to know...”

“No.” His voice gaining strength. “You’re not going to die. I won’t let you.”

She used the last of her strength to push his hair out of his eyes, forcing him to meet hers as she smiled at him. “I love you Ben. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.”

“Please.” He cried, desperately holding on to her failing body. “Please don’t go.”

Her eyes fell shut, her body going limp in his arms and his lifted her forehead up to meet his own, sobs wracking his body.

“You can still save her Ben.”

He looked up to find Luke’s force ghost before him once again.

He looked down at his mother’s body, still wrapped so tightly in his arms before looking back up at the blue tinged vision of her twin, silently demanding he tell him what to do. 

“Find Rey.” Luke said as he faded away, leaving Ben all alone once again.

He heard the sounds of blasters going off from beyond the door he’d slammed shut. It wouldn’t be long before the stormtroopers broke through and entered the building. He had to get her out of here. 

He stood, still cradling his mother’s small body against his chest and carried her to door he’d pushed Rey behind, opening it with the Force just as he’d closed it.

Rey was standing there, hands raised like she’d been banging against it all this time, her face drawn into an expression of shock.

He said nothing, allowing his emotional turmoil to spill into his bond-mate through the force.

She looked down at Leia’s body, and then quickly up at him, her expression shifting from shock to understanding in an instant. His face told her all she needed to know.

“Follow me.” She said, turning on her heel and running back down the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Carrie died, I was devestated. Devesated for her daughter, her family, and for the world that lost such a hilarious and open human being. 
> 
> But I was also devastated that we’d never get to see the story of Kylo Ren’s redemption told in the way I think it was intended to be told. Yes, I think Rey will show him the way, but I think Leia would’ve been a key part in the journey. Episode IX should’ve been her story and while I set out to write a story that I felt we could see on the big screen next Decemeber, I decided it was more important to write the story I think should’ve/would’ve been told if our beautiful princess hadn’t left us too soon. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading, and Happy Father’s Day to all the wonder father’s out there!


	23. The Escape

Rey was on her feet within seconds of being thrown back, pounding furiously on the door that Kylo had slammed shut on her. She could feel Leia fading away as his anguish ripped through the bond.

She pounded and pounded, screaming at him through their bond to let her in, but he was blocking her out, completely consumed with his mother. She gasped for air, arms raised against the door trying to determine what to do when suddenly the door flew back open to reveal Kylo Ren, tall and menacing in black, cradling Leia Organa’s limp body against his chest.

She looked down at the women she’d grown to love and felt her stomach drop in horror. She was holding on, Rey could feel it, but barely, and she wouldn’t be able to for long.

Her eyes shot up to meet Kylo’s. He said nothing, but he didn’t have to. His desperation was clear on his face. It was not Kylo Ren that was looking down at her now, silently begging for her help. She was looking into the eyes of a son who wanted to save his mother. The eyes of Ben Solo.

She didn’t waste another moment contemplating what to do next. “Follow me.” She said, turning on her heels and heading back toward the hangar where the Falcon waited.

As they made their way down the long white halls, a loud blast echoed from behind them.

“Go.” Rey said, gesturing forward. “I’ll hold them off.”

Ben hesitated for a moment but then continued on as she followed behind them, blaster drawn defensively. They made it most of the way to the hangar before the Stormtroopers appeared, shooting to kill.

Rey shot back as they rounded the corner,trying and failing to keep the advancing troops at bay. Suddenly, the entire front row of troopers flew backward and out of sight. She spun around to see Ben’s arm raised. He nodded to her before opening the hangar door with the force. They spilled inside and Rey blasted the lock out, hoping it would buy them a little more time.

Threepio waddled down the ramp as they entered the hangar, Ben managing to stay close behind her despite the extra body he was carrying. She felt his discomfort and pain upon seeing the Falcon again, but he didn’t voice it. He was focused, more so then she’d ever felt him before.

“Miss Rey! Miss Rey, we must leave at once. The First Order has penetrated the city. They are on their...” Threepio stopped as soon as he saw Leia in Ben’s arms. “Oh goodness me! The princess...”

“Get on the ship Threepio.” Rey yelled, rushing up the ramp herself.

Ben pushed past him as well, but not without catching Threepio’s eye. “I do say.” The droid said, stopping and turning to watch Ben charge his way inside. “It couldn’t possibly be... Master Ben?”

Ben ignored the droid, turning toward the crews quarters without hesitation. 

“Oh this is wonderful! The Princess will be ecstatic!” Threepio followed after them, crowding into the cabin as Ben ripped Leia’s shirt away from her wound revealing an ugly black hole that began bleeding profusing the moment the fabric was ripped away. 

“Oh dear.” Threepio stopped abruptly, his concern noticeable in his robotic voice. “This is much worse than I expected.”

Ben placed his hand over the wound, hovering just above it as his other hand pulled for the med kit with the force. Rey grabbed it as it entered the room. She felt Ben trying to slow down the blood flow enough to secure the bacta patch though the force, but he his anger and fear were consuming him.

“Sir,” the droid piped up again, “the probability of surviving a direct blaster shot to the abdomen is approximately...”

“Shut it Goldie.” Ben snapped back. Rey had to stifle a laugh. In different circumstances she might’ve commented that he sounded almost exactly like Han in that moment, but now was not the time. Their time was running out, as was Leia’s.

Rey looked down at his hand hovering over Leia’s body. She’d never healed using the force before, never even knew it was possible, but she immediately knew it would require more light then Ben was capable of on his own. She stepped up next to him and placed her hand over his, closing her eyes as she reached out, feeling for the wound and willing it closed. When she opened them again the blood was beginning to slow and Leia’s flickering presence morphed into a weak, but steady pulse.

Ben looked down at her, his eyes wide with gratitude as a silent thank you passed between them. She passed him a bacta patch and placed a reassuring hand on his arm as he placed it over his mother’s wound.

“Threepio,” Rey said as they both turned to the droid. “Look after her.”

“Of course Miss Rey.” Threepio replied, nodding.

Then she turned up to the man standing next to her. “Guns or cockpit?”

He hesitated for a moment, looking out at the familiar hallways of the ship. His emotions were a mix of guilt and pain. He could leave, she knew that. But she also knew that he wouldn’t. Whatever happened in that room between mother and son had snapped something inside of him. He was going to see this through.

“Guns.” He replied. She nodded, turning on her heels and sprinting to the cockpit. She’d only flown the ship without a co-pilot once, when she’d escaped Jakku with Finn. It had been difficult then, and would be even more so now that she was spoiled by Chewbacca’s expertise.

The blast doors to the hangar blew out just as she lifted the Falcon off the ground and a rain of blaster fire enveloped the ship. She hadn’t even turned the communications channel down to the gunner compartment on yet, but he was already shooting back, blasting the approaching stormtroopers with alarming accuracy, giving her the clearance she needed to get them out of the hangar.

The ship shot out of the hangar with a jerk as she pulled up into Bespin’s orange and pink clouds. No sooner had they left the city’s white skyline then they were swarmed by TIE-fighters, all of whom immediately shifted course at the first sighting of the Millennium Falcon.

“Behind us!” She called out as she twisted the ship out of range of the nearest fighter.

Ben said nothing, but she watched as he picked off the TIE-fighters with seamless ease, each one exploding into the air as she swung the Falcon around, took out a few herself, and launched the ship directly up and out of the atmosphere. 

She was incredibly relieved that she’d preprogrammed the rendezvous point into the hyperdrive before going after Leia. It would’ve been impossible for her to program in the coordinates while maneuvering out of the range of the Star Destroyer’s guns, and at this particular moment, they were rather difficult to avoid.

“Rey,” Ben’s deep baritone came through from the communications channel, the first time he’d spoken more than a word to her since opening the door. “We’re getting too close.”

He was right, but she wasn’t seeing another option. There were four Star Destroyers in their path now, and moving away from one of them only brought the ship in range of the others.

“Yes, I know that.” She snapped back, diverting away from a green blast. “I can only do so much without a co-pilot.”

Rey grunted in frustration as another blast hit them from the rear, jerking the ship aggressively. She maneuvered downward, underneath the nearest Destroyer when she felt a familiar presence sneak into her mind. She almost screamed at him to stay out of her head until she realized what he was doing. He couldn’t physically be in the cock-pit to help her, but he could guide her through the maze of First Order ships in other ways. 

She allowed him to take take control through her as she swerved the ship directly between the two closest Destroyers. They were dangerously close, and there was no way the Falcon wouldn’t be pulverized if it took a direct hit from one of the cannons. Yet, for some reason, she trusted him, allowing his presence in her mind to guide her movements as they deftly avoided blast after blast.

She quickly realized what his strategy was. Every shot that missed the Falcon hit the opposing Destroyer instead.It wouldn’t be enough to cripple any of the ships, but it would be a nuisance and a much needed distraction.

With his help, she spun the Falcon away from the cannon fire as he shot down the TIE-fighters that were still on their tail. They were working together flawlessly, just as they had in the throne room. Their every move was in sync without a single word being spoken. When she swerved to avoid a shot, she watched as he stopped it mid-air only to let it go once they’d flown safely out of its path.

Her heart raced as the ship spun and swerved, avoiding every blast until they cleared the Star Destroyers. She felt his adrenaline pumping too, a strange sensation that made her keenly aware of just how strong their connection truly was. Snoke had lied to them that day in the throne room. She’d known that as soon as the bond opened back up after his death. It was the Force that wanted them together, and today was further proof of that. She leaned across the cockpit, her breath hitches in her throat as she punched the hyperdrive, sending them into the vast blue blur of hyperspace.

She leaned back with a laugh as the relief of their escape coursed through her veins. It didn’t last long though, as she felt him slip from her consciousness, fear and darkness overtaking him once again. She could heard his thoughts as if he was standing beside her speaking them aloud.

_What have I done?_

He had saved his mother, and in turn saved Rey as well, but that didn’t mean he’d turned to the light. It didn’t mean he wanted to join the Resistance or destroy the First Order. He’d made an impulsive decision fueled by his emotional connection to his mother. The reality of that choice was only now beginning to set in.

She couldn’t let him go that easily.

She left the cock-pit swiftly, moving through the Falcon’s shabby halls passing by a Threepio and Artoo as she did so.

“Master Ben is with Princess Leia, Miss Rey.” Threepio tried to cover for himself as she passed by. “Although I must say, he seems rather upset about something. He always was a rather emotional child...”

She ignored the droid, speeding to a run until she stood outside the quarters where Leia rested. He was standing there, over his mother’s body, his fists clenched as his emotional turmoil swirled inside of him. 

She made the decision so quickly that he didn’t even have time to react. Her hand moved up, just as his had that day in the forest of Takodana. She reached out for his consciousness and pulled back quickly, dropping him into a deep slumber. His body hunched forward and she moved quickly to stop him from falling too hard.

He’d hate her for this when he woke up, but it was the only way. She needed him to see what she saw. He was changing, and something stirred inside of her at the thought of what it all could mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fight scenes look so much better in my head then they do written out on paper (or screen in this case), but hopefully you all can imagine the scenes unfolding in spectacular fashion despite that. 
> 
> Our favorite force soul mates are finally back together for real. Now to find out how Ben feels about Rey using his own powers again him :)


	24. The Prisoner

Ben’s eyes opened slowly, his mind disoriented and his vision blurry. Where was he? And what had happened on the Falcon? The last thing he remembered was standing over his mother’s body. She was still holding on, somehow. He’d kicked the droid out of the room, leaving him alone with his conflict and pain when suddenly everything had gone dark.

Now he was here. Wherever here was. His wrist felt cold, and looking down he realized he was in stuncuffs. Of course. He was a prisoner. He’d been tapped into her mind far too intimately. She must’ve felt his conflict and used his own powers against him. He should’ve been angry with her, and yet, for some reason, he wasn’t. She’d done the smart thing, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the irony of his own capture.

The world around him slowly became clear as a man stepped forward. He recognized him immediately. It was the Resistance pilot from Jakku. The one whose droid had escaped with the map to Skywalker. The one who started the chain of events that led him here in the first place. How fitting. 

“I had no idea we had the Supreme Leader of the First Order on board.” The pilot smirked, his chin raised high as repeated the words Kylo Ren had used in the interogation room. “Comfortable?”

“Not really.” Ben replied, glaring at the pilot he’d once tortured. The man stopped walking and glared at him, the hatred clear in his eyes.

“The only reason I haven’t killed you already is because Rey insisted that you be left alive.” The man walked closer. “She claims that you saved General Organa. You. Kylo Ren. The Supreme Leader of the First Order.”

The pilot began to walk around the room again. “I thought she was crazy. Truly, I did. But she was adamant. We weren’t allowed to touch a hair on your pretty little head.” He stopped once he made a complete circle around the room, pausing to meet his gaze again. “Why?”

“Why what?” Ben replied, feigning disinterest.

“Why would you save her?”

Ben waited, his eyes not leaving the pilots as he searched through his mind. He saw many things there, glimpses of strange dreams, of places he recognized. He skipped all of that, searching only for his mother in the man’s mind. What he found there was quite a bit more than he’d expected. He was close to Leia,loved her even. She was his hero, his mentor, and his friend. In many ways she’d replaced the mother he’d lost so long ago, and he spent his days trying to make her proud. Ben scoffed. This man was everything Leia might’ve hoped for in a son. But, he wondered, had she ever told him the truth?

“You’re the son Leia Organa always wanted,” Ben began, allowing the pilot a brief moment of pride before he squashed it. He reclined slightly, pulling his shoulders back and hardening his gaze. “It’s a pity she got me instead.”

The man’s eyes widened in shock only momentarily as his thoughts drifted to another scene, one that Ben recognized immediately. It was the lakeside villa on Naboo. This man had seen something there. A little girl who looked strangely like Rey... The stormtrooper FN-2187 marveling at the beauty of the landscape commenting that Leia was crazy for giving it up... the little girl leaping into Rey’s arms and reaching for a man beside her. Her father... 

He pulled out of Poe’s mind abruptly, shocked by what he’d seen there. That man. That little girl. She was beautiful, with Rey’s freckled skin and button nose. But it was her eyes that struck him the most, and the way she reached out longingly for a man he knew all too well.

It was his daughter, of that he was certain. This pilot had somehow seen a vision of the future, his future, where he and Rey had a child. A future where they were a family. He’d never seen this vision before, yet this man, this pilot, had. Why?

His eyes returned to the pilot’s, whose momentary shock had now hardened to hatred. “I always wondered what happened to Ben Solo, the son who’d run off to become a Jedi and never returned. She never talked about you.” Of course she hadn’t. If there was one thing Leia Organa could do better then anyone else, it was put on a good face. “I did always notice the pain on her face whenever someone mentioned Kylo Ren though. I always assumed she was thinking of Vader, remembering the torture she’d endured at his hand.” The man paused as his lips drew up into a scowl. “The truth is far worse. If you think saving her makes up for what you’ve done, you’re wrong.” The man stepped forward threateningly. “You’re a monster. You broke her heart in every possible way. You... you killed your own father.”

He drew his blaster, pointing it directly against Ben’s chest and leaning in close, teeth bared. “I would kill for your mother. Die for her without hesitation. Killing you would save her from the pain of trying to defend what you’ve done. Of having to look you in eyes and see the evil bastard you’ve become.”

“You know nothing.” Ben spat, his anger barely contained. This foolish pilot knew nothing of his parents betrayal. Nothing of the nightmares that plagued him since childhood, the voices in his head tearing him apart piece by piece until there was nothing left. He had no right to judge what he’d become. He could snap this man’s neck with a mere thought. There was no one here to stop him. 

“I know you’re not worthy of another breath. I know I should kill you right here, right...”

“Poe.”

The man spun around, opening up Ben’s line of vision to the women who now stood in the entry way.

“Rey!” The man called Poe jumped, removing the blaster from Ben’s chest and standing up to face her.“You knew?”

His voice dripped with betrayal, and Ben couldn’t help but notice the shift in Poe’s emotions at the sight of her. There was affection there, deeper then just two people who worked together. This added to the long list of reasons for Ben to hate the man. He not only had his mother’s affection, he also had Rey’s.

Rey met Ben’s eyes for a moment, a flash of guilt clear in them, before turning to Poe.

“I did.” She stepped forward and put her hand over Poe’s, forcing him to lower the blaster. “And I know she’ll never forgive you if you hurt him.”

Ben glared at her hand on Poe’s, something stirring in his gut. He didn’t want her touching him. He didn’t want her touching anyone.

Rey seemed to notice his shifting thoughts and turned to meet his gaze again.

“I need to talk to him.”

“Talk away!” Poe replied, gesturing toward him dramatically.

Rey’s gaze never left his own as she moved slightly closer, her voice low and commanding. 

“Alone.”

The pilot stared her down for a long moment, utterly disgruntled by the request. He wanted to protect her, to keep her away from the monster of a man she’d brought to them. Ben’s lips twitched up at the thought. Clearly this man didn’t know her very well after all. If he did he would know that the only person in that room that didn’t need protection was the spitfire of a women standing before them.

Finally the pilot stepped past her, pausing to turn back to her as his shoulder brushed hers. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do.” She replied, turning to meet his stare, her conviction unmistakeable.

Poe nodded once, turned back to glare at him one final time, and then stormed from the room, leaving them totally alone in each other’s physical presence for the first time since the Supremacy.

“I see you’re still scavenging through my powers.” He chided snidely.

“What can I say?” She replied, taking a step toward him, her eyes never leaving his. “Old habits die hard.”

Her eyes drifted down to the stuncuffs around his wrists. He was in an apparatus not unlike the ones used to restrain prisoners on First Order ships, but it was thrown together, not nearly as strong or durable. 

“These restraints won’t hold me.”

“I know.” She raised her hand slightly and clicked them open.

He grabbed his wrists, looking down at them in surprise as he rubbed out the sore joints. His eyes shot back to hers. Was she crazy? Perhaps the pilot was right after all.

She stepped forward again, now mere feet from him. Her eyes were soft, apologetic even. The anger and betrayal he’d seen in them so many times before was gone, as was the apprehension he’d always found there. Something had changed.

He said nothing, watching as she studied him. Her hair was down, and she was no longer dressed in the elegant clothes Calrissian had provided. She was draped in loose greens and grays, colors that implied camouflage. They suited her, as did everything she wore if he was being honest. He’d never taken the time to appreciate just how lovely she was. Her draw came from her power, her compassion, her lonely and familiar mind. Now, though, he found he couldn’t look away from her.

“Leia is awake.” She said suddenly, drawing him back into focus. “She’d like to see you.”

Her eyes pierced his own as he weighed his options. He hadn’t realized just how unprepared he was to face his mother again. Saving her had been instinctive, a reaction to the swell of conflicting emotions inside of him at the sight of her. Seeing her now would be different.

The Resistance was still the enemy. She was still the enemy. Nothing she said could change the years of emotional torment he suffered. Nothing he said could bring her beloved smuggler back.

Sensing his thoughts, Rey stepped forward yet again, reaching out and placing a reassuring hand over his own. Her touch was unexpected, and he jerked away from it reflexively.

“Ben...” she used that name again. The one she only used when she saw through his pain and anger. The one that somehow sounded right only when it came from her lips.

“It was foolish to bring me here.” He stated flatly, his voice devoid of all of the emotion that was simmering just below the surface.

“Maybe.”

He watched as she stepped closer, an unfamiliar sensation shooting through his core. “I could kill you all right now. End the Resistance for good.”

Rey’s hazel eyes pierced his own, and he knew she saw through every word he’d said. “You could.” She offered, looking down at his ungloved hand. “But I don’t believe you will.”

Her eyes wandered up his arm slowly, setting his nerves on fire.“I’m a monster.” He whispered, his voice too soft and gentle to reinforce the words.

She looked up from behind hooded eyes, tilting her head slightly as if to question him. “Are you?”

 _Yes. You said so yourself_.

He didn’t understand what had changed in her. Before, when he’d gone to her in warning, she’d said she didn’t know who he was. She was angry and afraid and distant. Now she stood here, unprotected and vulnerable, implying that she had her answer.

“It’s up to you.” Rey continued, stepping away slightly to allow him the space to get up.

He leaned forward and stepped down from the restraint mechanism, stretching his aching shoulders before turning to look down at her. “And if I refuse?” 

“I’ll be forced to try to keep you here.” She replied, absentmindedly brushing the lightsaber at her waist. “I’d rather not have to do that.” 

He turned so that they faced each other, standing on the flat ground and still towering above her. Her chin tilted up, holding his gaze defiantly against his attempt at intimidation. He brushed gently against her mind and saw she’d left it unguarded for him. As he looked down into her beautiful eyes he was overwhelmed by her calm determination. Unlike the electric current that rushed through him at her touch, this sensation was softer, slower. She was seeping into his bones and permeating his very soul. His tension began to dissipate as he opened himself up to her, allowing her soothing presence to settle the boiling pot of his emotions.

He sighed heavily, resigning himself to his fate and nodded, signaling that he would follow her.

Her eyes brightened noticeably before shegrabbed the stuncuffs, holding them open faced before him.

His brow creased defensively. “Really?”

“Just... please?” 

She was resigned as she said it, knowing full well it would make no difference if he decided to escape or attack. Scoffing, he held out his wrists, allowing her this ridiculous facade. If he really wanted them dead, they would be by now. The unsettling truth that was becoming increasingly apparent to him was that he didn’t. The deep-rooted urge to purge the galaxy of the Resistance scum who held him hostage was gone, replaced by a strange indifference.

Maybe it was a result of the truth Anakin had finally revealed to him. Maybe it was the unexpected fear and pain of losing his mother. Maybe it was the powerful, beautiful women that stood before him now.

Whatever it was, the change wasn’t altogether unwelcome. He didn’t fear the way it was worming into his soul and nesting there like he once would have. He was allowing it to happen, inch by inch. The decisions he’d made in the last day or so were evidence enough of that. And now he was making another choice. To follow Rey out of this cell and face the woman whose heart he’d crushed in every possible way. The woman whose love had sustained him through all his years of torment, and whose betrayal had destroyed him completely.

It was time to face Leia. To truly face her, and to deal with whatever came in the wake.

Rey tensed as she sealed the cuffs around his wrists, no longer looking up at him. She was anxious. He saw the thoughts passing through her mind and he was surprised to find that she was not worried for her friends at all. She was worried for him. Using the cuffs was the best way to ensure that he wasn’t attacked.

Eyeing her curiously, he followed her out of his holding cell and into a long narrow hallway. The piping that ran along the ceiling led to a set of stairs awaiting them at the far end. It was a bunker, he noted. One whose design looked curiously similar to that of the fallen Empire.

They were not alone as they traveled through the narrow corridor. Those they passed would move to let them by, stopping to stare or acknowledge their movement. He assumed that the pilot had made his capture public knowledge, a way to rally the troops and promote a sense of victory. He’d ensured that his face was not propagated around openly. His mask was the face of the First Order, not the one they saw now. But it would still be an easy jump to assume the man in all black was their high profile prisoner.

He quickly realized he was mistaken. They were not looking at him at all. It was Rey. The mysterious “Jedi” hero who had saved the Resistance. The tall, broody stranger she was escorting was only an added curiosity.

She seemed oblivious to the stares, focusing on the path ahead of them save for the brief glances she would make to her side, as if to ensure he was still beside her. The calming assurance she had pressed into him in the cell was gone now, replaced by an anxiety whose roots he could not trace.

“You first.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, gesturing for him to lead. He smirked slightly at the change in her tone. She was attempting to come across as commanding, but he knew she felt anything but. He nodded to her, meeting her eyes for a brief moment before turning to make his way out of the dimly lit bunker.

Upon reaching the top, he was met with the smells of nature, a mixture of rain, wood, and growth. It had been a long time since he’d been in such a place. He breathed it in deeply, acutely aware that he had first met Rey in a similar setting.

Rey stepped up beside him, reacting to the change of scenery much as he had. She did not like the bunker. She did, however, love the green expanse that they now found themselves in. Her clothing now made far more sense. The greens and grays were a perfect camouflage for the forest around them.

He half wondered if they had returned to Takodana. Rey quickly silenced his assumption with a shake of her head, reading the thoughts he hadn’t bothered to shield. He turned to her, allowing their silent mental conversation to continue.

_Where are we going?_

_You’ll see_.

He eyed her skeptically. They appeared to have exited the bunker from some kind of back door and were now making their way through the densely wooded area that hid the entrance.

He followed after her for some time, suppressing the snide comments he wanted to throw after her. She was a quick climber, no doubt a skill she’d developed over her years scavenging. What surprised him more was her comfort traversing a landscape so unlike the one she’d grown up in. He had to admire her adaptability, even as he struggled to follow her, his wrists still chained in place in front of him.

Suddenly she stopped, throwing her head up at the tree line above. He moved behind her, following her gaze upward until his eyes met what she was looking at. High above them, nestled comfortably in the trees, were what appeared to be little huts connected by a vast network of swing bridges and ropes.

His gaze was brought back down as a rope appeared in front of his face, drawing his attention down to Rey once again. 

Her eyes sparkled as she handed him the rope. He eyed it skeptically before gesturing down to his wrists.

She rolled her eyes and clicked the cuffs open, attaching them to her belt as she grabbed hold of the rope. “The mighty Kylo Ren needs his hands to climb a rope.” She chided, as she began her ascent. “I’ve got to admit, I’m disappointed.”

He watched as she gracefully climbed the rope, pulling herself up the trunk until she reached the lowest branches. She was quick, that was true, but he could not let her outdo him.

He crouched down, feeling the force around him and launched himself from the ground, using the force to propel himself up to swing over the lowest branch. He grabbed hold and looped himself over it, landing just above her, his feet planting beside her hands.

Her mouth fell open as she looked up at him in awe, only to quickly snap it shut. His chest heaved with pride as he turned away from her glare. “The last Jedi needs a rope to climb a tree.” He teased, allowing a smirk to spread across his face. “I expected more from you Scavenger.” 

He reached up to continue climbing, content with this small victory, when he felt a breeze blow up his covered leg. Rey had somehow managed her way up ahead of him and was now relaxing against the trunk at the top, looking down at him with a wicked grin painted across her lovely features.

Grunting, he pulled himself up till he reached the platform that connected to the rest of treetop village.

“You were saying?” She teased, offering him a hand. His eyes grazed it and then flew to her own, only then registering what had passed between them. They’d been joking, playfully bantering with one another as he followed her up a tree. He was unchained and untethered, free to hurt or attack. Instead he’d teased her back, a childlike sense of wonder and competition lifting him for the first time in decades. This feeling, whatever it was, it was dangerous.

Her expression shifted from playful and teasing to gentle and understanding as she reached out farther, silently reassuring him that the moment remained.He took it, using her as a buffer to pull himself up onto the platform.

He looked up, still holding her hand in his, relishing the feeling of her skin on his own when he saw them.Two sets of eyes stared back at him. He stiffened immediately, dropping his hand from Rey’s and clenching it into a tight fist. She spun, noting who it was and then looked back at him, concern adorning her face before she stepped back and turned to face them. 

“General Calrissian, Chewie...” she began, hesitating when she saw their faces.

The man and the Wookie remained silent, but Ben could feel the pain and anger radiating around them, his own barely contained as he forced himself to meet the gaze of his father’s best friends.

The Wookie had already made his feeling known. He had the scar on his lower abdomen to prove it. The one across his face was in no small part a result of that deadly blaster shot too. It had taken all his strength to survive the blast, leaving him with little else but his rage and suffering to fight back against Rey. 

It didn’t take long for the shocked trance to break, and Lando Calrissian came charging ahead, followed swiftly by Chewbacca.

“How could you!?” Lando yelled, his trademark cape billowing behind him as he stood face to face with the young man he’d once watched run around the kitchen naked as a toddler. The little boy who called him Unca Wando, whose laugh brought a smile to his face every time he picked him up and spun him around the room. “Han loved you. And you have the audacity to show up here now?If he was still alive he would’ve...”

“Would’ve what?” They all turned as the voice cut through the tension. Leia stood there, her left hand leaning into a wooden cane and her right grasping the hand of a furry little creature he recognized as an Ewok. She dropped the creatures hand and walked forward, limping slowly forward against the cane. “Han was many things, but a disciplinarian was not one of them.”

“Leia...” Lando cautioned turning away from him to face his mother, “you shouldn’t be up yet.”

“I shouldn’t be up at all. Yet here I am.” She shrugged off the comment, as her eyes met his own. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to my son.”

All eyes shot back to him defensively, but he only had eyes for his mother. She held up her hand to him, just as she had when he was a child. He’d had a habit of following her to the senate, hiding in her office during important meetings or curling up in her box on the senate floor. The gesture had been her way of telling him it was alright, that he could come with her. He was allowed to listen, to observe, to learn. As he got older, he resented how much time she devoted to the New Republic. His power allowed him to sense the falsities that flowed between senators and his quick mind made him keenly aware of the failings of the political structure they’d created. But he had always treasured the gleam in her eyes as she held her hand out to him, telling him he didn’t have to hide anymore. 

His lip quivered as he looked back up at her, the sadness behind her mask of humor clear as day in the eyes she’d passed down to him.

“Please?” She said softly, breaking his heart on the spot. 

He reached up and took her hand, leaving the rest of the world behind them as he followed her away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m a little late with this one, but I hope you found it worth the wait. For those of you who have stuck it out, the slow burn isn’t going away, but I couldn’t resist a little forest flirting (seriously, this chapter was supposed to have a far more serious tone, but it just kind of happened and I couldn’t bring myself to change it).
> 
> Also who knows which planet served as the rendezvous point? The Ewok’s sort of give it away. I love those little fur balls. 
> 
> I may have taken some cannon liberties to make the bunker scene possible, but it didn’t feel right for Ben to wake up in a tree hut. Not threatening enough.


	25. The Rogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more Knights return. Hux's bad day gets a little worse. And we discover that Kylo Ren may not be a 30 year old virgin after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'd like to apologize profusely for the excessive delay on this chapter. Writers block hits ya hard, particularly when your story shifts in unplanned ways. But I am back, and for those of you who have stuck around, waiting to see how this story ends, thank you. We are nowhere close to the end, and this chapter pivots into some brave new territory with unknown consequences, but I couldn't resist having a little fun with the story. 
> 
> Please note that the rating has changed. For my slow-burn sufferers, unfortunately today is not the day you will be saved. In fact, you will likely be disappointed that this is where I have chosen to take us after such a long delay. But rest assured, it is coming. It can't all be tree climbing and teddy bear. This is our favorite Space Soap Opera after all.
> 
> Thank you again for your patience, and for any and all feedback and comments you may have. Your comments really do impact the direction this story takes, so don't be afraid to make your opinions known!

Hux swept through the halls of the Finalizer in a blazing fury. If he had Ren’s sorcerer powers, he would’ve choked every officer in his path. Alas, he had not been born with such abilities, nor could he allow himself to fall prey to such childish outbursts. It was beneath him.

But oh, what he wouldn’t have given to take Ren’s ridiculous laser sword and plunge it deep into the bowels of the ship at that very moment.

Somehow, the Resistance had escaped. And along with them, all the citizens of Cloud City. The implication was obvious: They had been warned. But how? Only a few of his most trusted commanders knew of his intentions on Bespin. That left the two others who knew of Calrissian’s location: The knight and the Supreme Leader. He didn’t need proof to know that Ren was responsible for this. His continued absence was evidence enough of his treachery, and that was ignoring the incriminating order he had witnessed from the ventilation.

The _Supreme Leader_.

How Hux hated that man. He hated his arrogant stride, he hated the way Snoke had played them against one another, he hated the way Ren presumed to take over despite Hux’s control of the army. Most of all, though, he hated the power that Ren possessed. He was not worthy of it. He was a spoiled brat who had done nothing to earn it. Yet somehow Hux was beholden to his commands. It was infuriating.

And now, amidst the failure that had been the attack, two more of Ren’s cronies had decided to make their reappearance. He wasn’t sure what was worse anymore: facing Snoke or facing the Knights of Ren. At least with Snoke he had known what to expect. Ren was unpredictable, and he could expect no less from those who had chosen to follow him.

Upon entering the antechamber where they had gathered, Hux was greeted by an eerie red glow that cascaded the darkness. Three figures sat in a triangle on the floor, all swathed in black, their faces masked like their master’s used to be.

None of the bodies moved as Hux entered the room, seemingly unaware of his presence. He halted far away from them, trying and failing to calm his anxious thoughts. He stood in silence for moment before clearing his throat loudly. The one he knew as Tizo Ren was the only one to move, his head tilting upward just so.

“General” The raspy voice was distorted by the mask, making it difficult to discern the approximate age of the speaker. Hux said nothing, waiting for the other nights to turn in acknowledgment. After a moment, they did so, moving to stand with intimidating grace. 

“To what do we owe this visit?” The Knight rasped. 

Hux readjusted his stance, jutting his chin in a show of authority that he certainly did not feel. “The Supreme Leader has not returned.”

“No.” the Knight agreed.

“And have you received word from him as to why?”

Hux’s head began to throb lightly as he waited for the knight’s reply. After a long and uncomfortable moment, he finally responded. “We have not.” 

Hux huffed out in frustration. “His return is long overdue. The fleet cannot wait any longer. Your _master_ cannot expect my armies to obey him if he cannot even…” Hux was cut off swiftly as an invisible hand closed off his windpipe. He grasped at his throat to no avail, crying out desperately for air. 

The knight turned to the one to his right and nodded to the masked creature. Hux grasped at his throat only a second longer before falling to his knees, his throat throbbing as he sucked in as much recycled air as he could.

“We will be sure to alert you if we hear anything General.” The knight said calmly. “In the meantime, we ask that you make no rash decisions. The Supreme Leader will no doubt be disappointed to find that you disobeyed his orders. We would hate to have to alert him of this additional treachery.” 

Hux gasped as he looked up at the black masks towering above him, his mind numb with hatred. “I am not beholden to you.” He spit, pulling himself back up to his feet. “The Supreme Leader cannot lead if he is not here. When you do find your master, make sure to tell him that.”

Throwing one last pitiful grimace toward the Knights of Ren, Hux turned and exited the chamber, resisting the urge to massage his burning throat until he was safely out of their sight.

His worst fears were indeed coming true. The Knights were as unpredictable and insufferable as their leader. He would need to dispose of them too.

Turning swiftly onto the bridge, he was approached by Commander Jauron, a young and capable officer who had quickly and quietly proven his loyalty. “Commander Jauron.” He acknowledged him flatly.

“Sir, we have found something I think might be of interest to you.”

Hux nodded for the officer to continue.

“There is still no word from the Supreme Leader, Sir. The crew of his command shuttle remains on Naboo and have not seen him since his arrival.”

“And why would that interest me?” Hux snapped, his throat still throbbing.

“Well Sir, when our troops were scouring the city, we found a ship from Naboo.”

Hux spun on his heels “You found what?”

“A ship from Naboo, Sir. According to the log, it arrived only moments before the battle. It was one of the only ships left.”

Hux turned then, looking down on the orange cloud planet they orbited. “Commander Jauron,” He said, a smile threatening at the corner of his lips. “Contact Captain Kelser on the Supreme Leader’s command shuttle. Ask him to confirm with Supreme Leader Ren that we are indeed to meet him on Coruscant tomorrow to begin the invasion.”

“Of course, Sir” Jauron replied, bowing his head respectfully.

“Oh, and Commander?”

“Yes Sir?”

“Tell them it is time to begin Operation Scavenger.”

“Operation Scavenger, Sir? Will they know what that means?”

“Oh yes.” Hux replied, unable to keep the satisfied smirk from his face any longer. “Yes, I believe they will know _exactly_ what it means.”

_______________________

 

_Lara sat on a rock at the edge of the hillside, the sun only just beginning to peak its way over the deep green horizon. Her attempts at meditation had thus far proved utterly futile. She huffed out in frustration, throwing her head into her hands and sighing deeply. She’d been at the temple for almost a year now. She excelled at combat, at mind reading, at manipulating the world around her, but still she was unable to calm her mind. There was an anger deep within her that kept her from calming her mind. It was always there, gnawing at her soul, telling her she was looking in the wrong place. But what was the right one?_

_“No luck?”_

_Lara jumped at the sound of the deep voice. She thought she’d be alone out here, especially this early in the morning. She should’ve known better._

_“Ben!” Her voice was more accusatory than she’d intended as she drew in a breath to calm her beating heart. “What are you doing?”_

_He shrugged as he walked toward her, taking a seat on the rock beside her. “Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d go for a walk.”_

_She stared down at the boy beside her. He was older than her by a few years and far more powerful. She supposed that was to be expected. He was Master Skywalker’s nephew after all. The Force was in his blood._

_He said nothing as she took him in. His dark waves just barely covered his large ears, something she knew he was self-conscious of. She wished he wouldn’t be. Yes, his skin was pale, and his limbs were long and lanky, but even in the year that she’d known him, he had grown into them quite nicely. He wasn’t traditionally attractive, no, but being around him always made her nervous in a way she had never been before. His presence distracted her, and she found herself failing in ways she didn’t understand. She hated what he did to her, going out of her way to avoid him during lessons._

_And yet she always wished he was near. She wanted to feed off his power and strength. She wanted to watch him as he manipulated the force to his will with frightening ease. She wanted to fight with as much precision as he did. He didn’t have many friends here, mostly keeping to himself, working his body or reading his books. She found in him a kindred spirit, one who she quickly realized felt as isolated as she did. She wanted him to teach her everything, not just the ways of the force, but the ways of the body too._

_No. She snapped shut that train of thought as quickly as it came. As gifted as she was in mind-reading, it was nothing compared to him. She could not let him know how she felt. Not ever._

_Blessedly, his voice pulled her out of her dangerous thoughts. “You’re still struggling to meditate.” It wasn’t a question. He already knew what she was doing out here_

_“I don’t know what is wrong with me.” She muttered angrily, “I can’t focus.”_

_“I can’t do it either.” He said quietly. Lara turned to look at him in surprise. He was facing the valley below, his body positioned as Luke taught them, his eyes closed._

_“Wha… what do you mean you can’t do it either? You… you’re…”_

_He let out a harsh laugh, “I’m what, exactly?”_

_She hesitated, unable to form the words she wanted into actual sounds. “I just meant… I always thought... You just…”_

_Ben sighed with his whole body, opening his eyes but not turning to look at her. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t have this power. It would’ve been easier that way.”_

_Her mouth gapped open in shock. “What do you mean?”_

_Ben tensed, as if he suddenly remembered himself. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.” He stood, turning to her with a masked expression. “Keep working on it. I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.”_

_And then, as quickly as he’d appeared, he was gone, leaving Lara alone to sort through all the confusing thoughts he’d left her with. If she had any hope of successfully meditating that morning, it had disappeared along with Ben Solo._

Lara watched as Hux exited their chamber from behind her mask, her hatred boiling hot and deep within her. She couldn’t understand why her master left the red-headed maggot alive. She would’ve happily finished the job for him moments earlier when he threatened his authority. She resented Tizo for pulling her back. But if Hux had been allowed to live this long, her master must’ve had a reason.

“Still as impulsive as ever.” Tizo said, turning to her once they were alone.

“And you’re as docile as ever.” She bit back. “It’s a wonder you’ve made it this long. 

Tizo simply shook his head as Vizan moved beside him. “The Supreme Leader has made it clear that Hux is necessary if we are to maintain control over the fleet and the army. But I’m sure you saw, as I did, that he is plotting against us.”

“We must warn our Master.” Vizan Ren’s deep baritone sounded beside her. The Heavy, they called him, his broad shoulders draped in thick robes to cover his even thicker armor. He was a Vultan of abnormal size, lending himself useful as the Knights most physically imposing soldier.

“Our Master has stopped returning my communications.” Tizo said. “We have no choice but to wait for him to reach out to us.”

Lara crossed her arms against her chest, glaring through Tizo’s mask and envisioning the black silky hair and epicanthic folds that she knew lay behind it.

Five years. Five years she’d spent fighting for him, killing for him, lusting for him. She’d known many men in her years away, but always she desired him. The others were merely practice, a way to satisfy her cravings while she mastered her craft. She'd been a meek girl at the temple, afraid of the feelings he elicited in her. But that girl was gone. She was a woman now, with power and prowess. She did not want to wait any longer.

The night he set them all free had been her true awakening. It had been an easy decision. She would’ve followed him anywhere. Kylo Ren showed them all the power he’d been hiding away for so long and finally, finally, she felt free. She felt all the passion and pain she’d been trying to hold down and relished in it. The dark side had been calling to her all along, and he’d opened her eyes to it. If she thought she might’ve loved him before, it was nothing compared to her obsessive desire for him after. He had allowed her to act upon that desire only once before Snoke discovered her secret and sent her far away. Now Snoke was gone. And there was no one to stand between them.

“Do not forget yourself Iridysa.” Tizo said, using the name she had taken as a Knight of Ren. “We may call you the Rogue, but he will not be pleased if you disobey his orders. He is more than just our Master now and he is far more powerful than he was when you last saw him.”

 _Yes_. She was aroused by the mere thought of his overwhelming power. The boy who had secretly told her he wanted to be free of his power was gone, and in his place stood a man who had embraced his true calling. Soon he would return to her, ever his dutiful servant, and she would show him _exactly_ how much his power meant to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ReyLoRa anyone? I've read some great fics with some really interesting love triangles lately, and I couldn't resist bringing in one of my own. I've laid down some hints of a potential love square *cough* Poe Dameron is hot *cough* but rest assured, Reylo is still the point of this story (and the whole dang Sequel trilogy, I mean come on now). 
> 
> I know everyone says this, but seriously, your feedback and your thoughts really do keep me writing, and your input has serious implications for the story (I was totally going to kill Leia, but ya'll talked me out of it. No regrets). 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and happy Reyloing!


	26. The Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: Leia and Ben hash it out. 
> 
> And Rey finally tells Finn the truth about her time away from the Resistance, leading her to an important realization.

“So,” Leia began, as she guided them away from the stunned crowd they had left behind, “How’s work?”

She felt him stiffen beside her, and a laugh escaped her throat at the scandalized look that crossed his face. He wasn’t her little boy anymore. He was the Supreme Leader of half the galaxy, a killer, and she’d just jokingly asked him about “work”.

She supposed his reaction was to be expected. The things that were said as he held her failing body did not erase the resentment he felt, and it did not make standing here with her now any easier. This was the burden of survivors, she knew. Dying would’ve been a quicker, easier way to come to terms with their family drama. Survival meant they had to face it all head on. There was much to be said, and no easy way to begin the healing process.

“You’re right.” She said, sobering immediately. “No small talk.”

He continued to stand there, unmoving. She sensed his pain, his confusion, his simmering desire to turn and leave. It had been an instinctive reaction to save her and an out-of-character one to stay. She knew her time with him was rapidly running out, in more ways than one.

Instead she changed the subject, hoping to find a topic that he would willingly engage her in as she continued along down a rope bridge, “Rey told me you were going to Naboo,” She started, “looking for Vader.”

His eyes narrowed for a moment and she felt him probing her mind. It was uncomfortable, but she allowed him in, showing him what she knew he sought. He retreated once he found it, and his eyes settled back on hers. “Yes.” He replied softly, the first words he’d spoken to her since his desperate plea that she survive. Her heart clutched at the sound of his voice. It was deep and dark, like velvet. He somehow made a single word drip with emotion. Oh, how she’d missed that sound.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

He looked out at the forest surrounding them. “No.” He said, hesitating for a moment. “Not what I was looking for.”

She waited, sensing there was more. He looked down at his hands, clenching them together before he spoke again. “I learned the truth.”

Leia frowned. The truth. That was something she’d never wanted, something she’d decided long ago she could not bear. She knew her own truth. She knew the scars her _father_ had left her with, the pain and anguish she’d suffered at his hand. No matter what Luke told her, and no matter what she might’ve discovered had she looked hard enough, she would only ever see a monster.

But was that the truth? She looked up at her son now and still saw her little boy. Yes, he’d done heinous things. He stood by as an entire star system was obliterated. He killed his own father, for kriff’s sake.

And yet she knew she could forgive him.

She sighed, gripping the edge of the bridge tightly. “I learned about Vader on this very bridge.” She whispered as his head whipped down in surprise. “Luke insisted that he had to face him and I begged him not to go. That was when he told me who he was. Who I was.”

She turned to looked up at her son and found that he did not look away. His face was impassive, but she sensed curiosity brimming below. “We were preparing for battle. I didn’t have time to dwell on what it all meant, only that I knew it was true as soon as he said it. Part of me had always known, from the moment I first saw him on the Death Star. He was my brother.” She paused, turning away as she made the final declaration. “That meant Vader was my blood too.”

She breathed in deeply, her memories taking her back to that night. How Han had held her as she cried, completely baffled by her sudden emotional breakdown and torn over his own belief that she wanted Luke instead. She could almost feel him there, both he and Luke. It was like they never left at all. But they were gone, and in their place stood the man who had taken them away.

“Han didn’t care. He loved Luke and he loved me and he knew better than most that where you came from didn’t matter half as much as where you were going.” He looked away from her at the first mention of Han. His face remained stoic and controlled, but she hadn’t missed the slight tremble in his lower lip at the sound of his father’s name. “We should’ve told you Ben. Of all my many mistakes, and believe me, I know the list is long, not telling you the truth will always be the worst of them.”

“No.” He mumbled, barely audible as he shook his head. “No, your greatest mistake was thinking you knew enough.” His voice strengthened as he went, meeting her gaze once again with steely determination. “You still don’t know what happened, who he was, why he did what he did.”

“Would knowing have changed anything?”

His eyes narrowed as he glared at her. For the first time since seeing him again, she felt threatened by his presence. “It would’ve changed everything.” He growled. “I followed in his footsteps. I thought I was completing his mission, finishing what he’d started before he succumbed to his moment of weakness.” He turned away from her then, his shoulders falling slightly. “I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was manipulated, just like I was. The Jedi expected so much of him, but he never felt like he belonged. Not truly. And then he fell in love with your mother.”

Leia had always wondered how the beloved senator from Naboo had come to bare children by a Jedi turned Sith. She hoped that it had not been through force, but all she’d known of Vader told her that it was most likely so.

“He turned because he thought it was the only way to save her. Because he was desperate and afraid, and he had no one he could turn to.” Ben sighed deeply. “The Sith dealt in absolutes, but the Jedi were no different. They couldn’t understand his conflict, his attachment. They wanted him to be something he wasn’t.”

Her shoulders fell as she stared at her son, his accusation clear even if it remained unspoken. All of them had laid expectations on Ben. Luke wanted him to be a Jedi. Han wanted him to be roguish, charming, an adventurer like him. She could pretend that she’d just wanted him to be happy, but she knew better than to free herself of this guilt. She gave him the childhood that she’d had, filled with tutors and politicians, all the pomp and circumstance befitting the would-be prince of Alderaan. That alone spoke of the expectations she had for him.

But none of it had been Ben. None of it was what he wanted, what he needed. He’d been a quiet, curious child. He loved to read, he loved to learn. His gifts isolated him from others, and the regretful absence of his parents only made matters worse. More than once, she’d wished she had given Ben a little brother or sister, but what were the odds that they would’ve done better by another child? Not good was the answer. Not good at all.

“I was told Anakin Skywalker was a war hero.” She offered pathetically. “Before…”

“And Padme Amidala was a brilliant politician.” He sneered. “Before he killed her.”

Leia hadn’t known that. She shouldn’t be surprised to learn that Vader killed her, but it stung nonetheless.

“Amazing how much their children took after them, isn’t it?” He continued, his disdain clear. “You never even knew them, but you followed in their footsteps. You the dutiful politician, and Luke the righteous Jedi knight. I suppose we shouldn’t find it surprising that Luke tried to kill me. Familicide appears to be a family trait.”

That was a low blow and he knew it, but he also wasn’t wrong. Leia had never known what happened at Luke’s temple that night. She only heard the rumors. What she discovered in Rey’s mind was far worse. The memories both Luke and Ben had shown the girl of that fateful night haunted her. “I didn’t know, Ben. Not until Rey…”

“Don’t bring her into his.” Ben snapped, “He failed her too. He wouldn’t even teach an orphaned scavenger girl. The great Luke Skywalker. He saw good in the most hated man in the galaxy. He wanted to save the man all believed to be lost. But he couldn’t find a reason to save me, the monster his sister created.”

She could do nothing but look at him as the tears fell down her cheeks. “Is that… is that what you thought?”

“I heard you. All those nights you spent whispering. I felt your fear. I saw the way you all looked at me.”

“We were scared _for_ you Ben, not _of_ you.”

“You sent me away!” he yelled, turning away, his whole body shaking with ragged breath. “I needed you and you sent me away.” His voice broke over the words, wiping away the angry mask and leaving her broken boy behind. “I fought the voices in my head for so long, but it didn’t matter. All he could see was the monster. Vader was worth saving, but I wasn’t.”

The words cut her deeper than any blade ever could.

“No” was all she could mutter as she grabbed for her only son, pulling him against her as he collapsed into her arms. “You were always worth saving Ben. You will always be worth saving. Always.”

_______________________________________

 

“I don’t like this.” Lando’s smooth voice cut through the silence as Leia and Ben disappeared from view. “I don’t like this one bit.”

Chewie groaned in agreement as a crowd began to form around them, drawn to the scene by the yells of their General. Poe was among them, his blaster in hand, ready for a fight.

“Where is he?” Poe demanded.

“With General Organa.” Lando answered. “She asked that they be alone.”

Poe’s piercing glare shot through Rey before he turned to the soldiers that followed behind him. “Find them.” He ordered. “Give them space, but don’t let him out of your sight.”

The group dispersed, giving Rey the opportunity to slip away. She made her way up to the hut where she had been staying with the others. It was higher in the trees, providing her an ideal view of the rope bridge where Leia and her son now stood.

She should’ve given them privacy, but his churning emotions warred within her as if they were her own. Poe’s soldiers were waiting, hidden from view on either side of the bridge, blasters aimed and ready in case Kylo Ren lashed out. Rey found the sight amusing. They wouldn’t be able to stop him if he attacked Leia. She also knew they would not be necessary. Whoever stood on that bridge with the General now was not the same man who attacked them on Crait. The darkness that had enveloped him for so long was ebbing, leaving an intriguing sense of uncertainty in its wake. It was familiar, something she had been struggling with in the days since she’d learned of her bond with him. It wasn’t all pain and darkness, nor was it light and peace. It was something in the middle, a balance of sorts, and it was trying to find its footing.

“Rey?” Her breath hitched at the sound of her friends voice and she turned to find Finn crouched down in the entrance the hut. “Are you alright? When did you get back? I haven’t seen you...”

She sighed, turning back to watch the bridge below. Ben was turned away from his mother, his anger rising quickly. “I’m fine Finn. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you sooner. There’s been a lot going on.”

“Yeah, you can say that again. I have so much to tell you. You won’t believe what happened on Hays Minor…” His voice trailed off when he noticed her attention was elsewhere. Her eyes never left the bridge, but she felt her friend sit down beside her, squinting to try and find what it was she was looking at. “Wait a minute…” He gasped when he finally saw it, jumping up and pointing down at the bridge. “That’s Kylo Ren! What is the General doing alone with Kylo Ren? Are you crazy!? Where is Poe?”

“Finn calm down.” Rey urged, standing and taking his hands in her own. “I brought him here.”

“YOU DID WHAT!?”

“Finn stop.” She pleaded with him. “He saved her life. He saved all of our lives. He’s the one that warned me of the attack on Bespin.”

“What do you mean he warned you?”

“Finn, I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you, but I never knew how…”

“Tell me what Rey?!” Finn turned to her with wide eyes.

She sighed with her whole body. She knew this conversation was a long time coming, but that didn’t make her feel any more prepared. Telling people this secret was dangerous, but she couldn’t keep it from him any longer. “Kylo and I… we… well, we have this bond, of sorts, in the Force.”

Finn gaped at her.

“I can see him, and he can see me, and we can talk. Across space. It happened for the first time while I was with Luke, and it’s only continued since. I thought it would break after he saved me from Snoke, but it didn’t and…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Finn stopped her, shaking his head aggressively. “Go back. He saved you from Snoke? Why were you with Snoke in the first place?”

“It’s a long story.”

“And I’ve got nowhere to be for a long time.”

She turned away, catching a glimpse at the ongoing conversation on the bridge below. He hadn’t closed the bond to her, and she felt every drop of anger and pain as it poured from him. They were both having conversations they didn’t want to have, but his was far more painful. If he could endure confronting his mother, the least she could do was offer the truth to her best friend.

“Luke wouldn’t teach me.” She started quietly. “Not really anyways. And then the bond kept opening up and I got to see glimpses of the man behind the mask. He showed me what happened between him and Luke, and he listened when I needed someone to be there. He told me I wasn’t alone, and I reached out him and we touched hands…”

Finn’s eyes were wider than she ever imagined possible as he stuttered. “You touched hands...with Kylo Ren… You touched his hand? Through the force? Kriffing hell Rey…”

“I know.” She replied, dropping her head. “But I saw something then. A vision. And it showed me a future where he turned back to the light. I thought if I went to him he would turn and we would win.” She looked up to find her friend staring at her open mouthed. “Snoke ordered him to kill me, but he killed his master instead, and we fought the guards together. I thought he’d turned. I thought he’d come with me. But I was wrong. He asked me to join him instead. He wanted me to rule the galaxy by his side. But I said no. And then we fought over the light-saber and it split in half, knocking us both out. I woke up first, and escaped back to the Falcon. And, well, you know the rest I guess.”

Finn just stood there, gaping at her for a long moment before he finally shook himself out of his daze. “So… you’re telling me that Kylo Ren saved your life, proposed to you, and then tried to kill you all in the span of about one hour? And all because you have this weird force bond where you can touch across time and space.”

Rey hadn’t thought of it that way before, but she had to admit he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah, basically.” She shrugged sadly.

“Kriffing kriff.” He replied, rubbing his head as he paced around the platform.

“Finn,” Rey grasped for his hands desperately. “You can’t tell anyone. Only Leia knows. I can’t risk anyone else finding out.”

“It’s a little late for that don’t you think?” He pulled away, moving to look back down at the bridge, his voice raising as the reality of the situation settled around him. “You’ve brought Kylo Ren here and now he’s standing down there, with no restraints, arguing with General Organa!”

“No,” Rey practically begged, desperate for him to understand. “I didn’t bring Kylo Ren here.”

Finn pointed down at the bridge aggressively, drawing her eyes back down as she watched the General pulled the tall, dark man in black against her, wrapping him in her arms as he collapsed to his knees. “Then who exactly is it Rey? Because he looks an awful lot like Kylo Ren to me.”

Rey shook her head, watching and feeling as mother and son came together, huddled together in their shared heartbreak. Finn may not understand what was happening below them, but she did. The change was subtle, yet clear. She hadn’t known who stood before her in the cave on Ilum, but she knew exactly who it was that held Leia on the bridge now.

“Ben Solo” Rey whispered, the hint of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as she looked away from the private moment below them. “That is Ben Solo.”


	27. The Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben does some thinking,  
> Poe gets some answers,  
> and Rey goes all Inception on us.

To say he was exhausted would be an understatement. Physically he was perhaps as well rested as he had been in years, but mentally and emotionally he was utterly wrecked. So much so that he had allowed Dameron to escort him back to his holding cell without so much as a sneer.

To his credit, Dameron managed to keep the ever growing list of snide remarks he was formulating to himself for the entirety of the hike back to the bunker. Leia had walked with him back to the landing that appeared to mark the entry to the village and handed him back over to the Commander and his soldiers, his hands re-cuffed and his prisoner status reaffirmed. He and Leia had made progress, but it didn’t change the who he was to them. What he represented.

So he allowed them to believe that he was their prisoner, if for no other reason than that he was too exhausted to make a solid plan for escape. He needed sleep. He also needed time to work through the complex web of emotions he had been forced to confront upon seeing his mother again and the constant buzz that enveloped him now that he was in such close proximity to Rey.

The halls of the bunker were empty as they made their back to his prison cell and he sensed few life forms remaining in the building. It was clear that the bunker was not being used as a place for lodging, and that fact did not lend itself to the good nights rest he desperately needed.

As they approached his holding cell, Dameron stepped aside, allowing him to enter.  It was not the same cell he’d woken up to hours earlier. This one was equipped with a military style bunk rather than a ramshackle restraining device. Ben walked inside, arms shackled in front of him, and eyed the tiny bed that he would be cramming himself onto.

“Don’t try anything.” Dameron said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“If I wanted you dead, you already would be.” Ben replied, not bothering to turn and face his captor.

Dameron remained standing there in silence for a moment, his anger, anxiety, and confusion radiating from him like a dying sun. Ben had no doubt the man had much he wanted to say, but he was grateful to hear the sound of the metal door slamming closed leaving him blessedly alone with his own thoughts.

Wasting no time, he collapsed onto the small bunk, breathing out deeply as his mind oscillated between between the two women that had gotten him in this ridiculous predicament in the first place.

Mere cycles ago he’d been the ruler of the entire galaxy, planning invasions and treating with royals. Now he was laying on an uncomfortable brick of a mattress in an old Imperial bunker that the Resistance had repurposed into a prison.

All because of a girl.

But it wasn’t just any girl. It was Rey. And try as he might to convince himself she didn’t matter, he knew he would go to the ends of the galaxy to make sure she was safe.

She pillaged his mind like the desert rat she was, using his own time-honed skills against him, and rather than being angry, he felt proud. She was constantly surprising and continually aggravating in equal measure and he wanted nothing more than to be near her.

And then there was his mother.

He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed the knowing glint in her eyes, her raspy voice, the way she somehow managed to wrap his large body up in her petite one like it was the most natural thing in the galaxy.

Saving her went against everything he had spent the last decade of his life working to achieve, but in that moment none of it mattered. In his youth, his mother had been his source of strength, his rock. Even when she was working long hours in the Senate or off on diplomatic missions for days at a time, he could feel her presence in the Force glowing softly, reminding him that she was there. Snoke had twisted it all, mocking him for holding on, telling him that if his parents really cared about him, they wouldn’t have sent him away. It took Snoke many years to break him down, with Luke providing the final push to the darkness, but he never stopped feeling her presence. She was always there, a fading string in the back of his mind. It was nothing like his connection to Rey, but it was powerful in its own way.

It was because of that connection that he should’ve immediately known that Leia survived the blast on the Raddus. Killing his father had left him unhinged and broken. Losing Leia would’ve been like ripping out whatever pieces of his heart remained.

It hurt to be back here, with her, again. It hurt to feel her agony over the loss of her husband and brother and know that he was the reason. It hurt to remember the happy memories from his childhood and to realize just how thoroughly Snoke had been able to poison his mind.

Perhaps most painful was the fact that he was still alone, even more so now than before, and freeing himself from his master only made him more aware of that fact.

He’d forsaken the First Order when he warned Rey and saved Leia, but he would never be welcomed here. He didn’t want to be. This ragtag band of insurgents were no better than the Order they fought against. Thinking themselves high and mighty didn’t change the fact that they were murderers and terrorists. It was all a matter of perspective, and his hadn’t changed.

He shifted ungracefully, try and failing to fit the wide expanse of his broad shoulders onto the slim bed. Sighing, he turned to face the plain cement wall and closed his eyes, attempting to focus on something, anything other than the ache in his chest that he’d been unable to soothe since he first looked into his mother’s eyes in Cloud City.

He’d seen them somewhere else now, somewhere unexpected. In the pilot’s mind, on the face of a little girl. Rey’s little girl. _His_ little girl.

It was with her face in his mind that he finally drifted to sleep, with dreams of a future where she was made real.

 

________________________________

 

Poe didn’t return to the tree hut village after leaving Kylo Ren in the bunker, choosing instead to wander the forest in a futile attempt to clear his head.

_Leia’s son. He was Leia’s son._

He’d been confused enough by the vision he’d seen on Ilum, what with Finn acting so nonchalant about the man’s connection to the General and Rey and Kylo Ren’s incomprehensible little family. Seeing his mother again had distracted him though, and waking to a terrified Rey telling him that the First Order was on its way to Bespin had been enough to wipe the memory away.

At least it had been, until Rey arrived in the Falcon with an injured General and an unconscious Supreme Leader claiming that the latter had saved the former’s life.

There were very few explanations for such behavior. One had been that Rey was lying, but she was adamant, and if he’d learned anything about her in their time together, it was that Rey’s many gifts did not include masking her emotions.

The second option was that Ren was tricking her. He could’ve manipulated her into bringing him here to wipe them out for good. Poe liked this option best, if only because it seemed the most logical. The crack in the plan being that the man had arrived unconscious, giving them time to properly restrain him and prepare for the moment he came to.

Then Leia woke up asking for her son.

It was in that moment that he realized he needed to entertain another option, one that he never would’ve considered if not for his dream.

In truth, he was grateful to have had some small warning before Ren spit the truth at him. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve done if he’d been blindsided by it. Even so, it was felt like a dagger to the heart. Leia had been his hero for as long as he could remember. She served as an adoptive mother in many ways. He hadn’t cared that she was Vader’s daughter. Her actions spoke louder than her parentage ever would. But now he was forced to confront the uncomfortable reality he and so many others had chosen to ignore: Evil was in her blood, and her son had taken up his grandfather’s mantle in spectacular fashion.

And what were they supposed to do now? He was the most dangerous man in the galaxy, the man who they’d been fighting against for so long, who had murdered more Resistance fighters than he cared to remember, and who had ripped his mind apart like a ragdoll. They had him sitting in a cell inside the very bunker that both of their father’s had infiltrated in order to destroy the second Death Star and yet they couldn’t kill him.

He hated the man with every fiber of his being, but he loved Leia. As furious as he was that she’d kept this secret from him, he couldn’t take her son away from her. Not again.

And then there was Rey.

He hadn’t pressed her to tell him how she learned about the attack, but he had his answer now. Finn had indicated that something had changed in her since she’d returned from her mission to find Luke Skywalker. He had no way of knowing, having never met the girl before. But watching her with him in the cell, the familiar way she looked at him, and the way Kylo Ren had all but transformed before his eyes when he looked at her; he knew. He had warned her, and then he had come for her, rescuing Leia in the process.

It made no sense. None at all. His head throbbed as he attempted to wrap his head around everything. It didn’t take him long before he realized he had absentmindedly made his way back to the village. Darkness had overtaken the towering trees long ago and the low growl in his stomach told him that he had most certainly missed dinner. Deciding it was no use to wander alone any longer, he climbed his way into the trees, pulling himself onto the platform and quietly making his way toward his hut..

That was when he spotted her, an elegant silhouette of gray in the darkness of the night. She was standing alone on the same bridge she’d brought Ren to earlier, looking somehow smaller than he’d ever seen her before. The bridge was the fastest route to his hut, but that would require talking to her, and that was something he wasn’t entirely sure he was prepared to do.

He turned away, deciding to take the long route through the village, when he heard her distinct, raspy voice call out softly. “Poe? Is that you?”

He stopped immediately, no longer able to escape quietly into the night, avoiding the confrontation that he was in no way prepared for. He turned slowly and nodded. “Yes General?”

He watched as she turned to walk up the bridge toward him. “You’re out late Commander. We missed you at dinner.”

“I… went for a walk.”

“I see.” She looked down at her hands, clutching her cane and holding her steady.

They stood there in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, neither sure how to proceed. Finally, she began to walk back toward the bridge slowly. He followed.

“I expect you’re not very happy with me right now.” She tried to pass it off with a slight smirk, but he recognized the sadness in her eyes. “I don’t blame you of course. I’ve never been good at sharing hard truths, particularly with those who deserve them the most.”

“I just don’t understand.” He replied, letting his anger seep into his words.

She was undeterred. “Which part?”

“All of it!” His barely controlled frustration bubbling to a head. “How could he turn his back on you, on everything you fought to build? How could he kill Han? How could you bring him back here, after everything, and ask me not to hurt him like he’s hurt me? After everything he’s done, how could you ask that of me?”

Leia sighed deeply. “I don’t expect you to understand this now, but one day, when all of this over and you have children of your own, you will.”

“I’ll understand what, exactly?” He replied sharply “Because if my child ever even _thought_ about joining a radical terrorist organization I would…”

Leia cut him off before he could finish the thought. “No matter what he’s done, he is my son. What he became is as much my fault as it is his own. I’ll never forgive myself, but I will always love him. I will always want him to come home.”

He watched as the tears started to fall down Leia’s cheeks, her voice faltering just slightly. He’d never seen her cry, he realized. Not really. She was the consummate rock, the one who had experienced loss in ways he couldn’t begin to fathom but never broke. And here she was falling to pieces in front of him.

“I will always want to make up for the time I should’ve given him. I can’t get those years back. I can’t hold him and tell him that Snoke is wrong, that he is enough just the way he is. I gave everything to a government that was doomed to fail when my son, my only son, needed me to be there for him.” She sniffled heavily, lifting her free hand to clear her eyes. He beat her to it, cradling her cheek in his hand as wiped away her tears. She met his gaze sadly before pulling away and looking out toward forest, toward the bunker, toward _him_.

“I was a fool.” She muttered.

He took a step toward her, his anger dissipating as he watched her wallow in her own self-loathing, and softly asked his next question. “You let us go and fight, every time knowing that he could be there, that we could kill him. Why did you do that? _How_ did you do that?”

She hiccuped slightly, her lip curling darkly. “I knew my son. And I knw my soldiers. I learned gambling from the best of them, and I knew when the odds were stacked.”

That felt like a slap in the face, and he immediately began to protest, until she gently squeezed his arm and smiled up at him sadly. “Don’t take it personally Poe. You’re damn good pilot. One of the best I’ve ever seen. Only my husband and brother would top you. But then, who do you think taught my son?”

Poe gapped at her as she punched his shoulder lightly. “You’d put up quite the fight though. Of that I have no doubt.”

Leia looked up then and he realized they had made it all the way back to the hut. A light glowed inside, indicating that at least on of his bunk mates was still awake.

“Poe,” She said, turning to him and taking his hands in her own. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to change the way you fought. I couldn’t let my personal attachments influence your choices, or anyone else’s for that matter.”

“What makes you think it would have?”

“Because it’s easier to fight an enemy without a face.” She said, offering him the knowing smile he had come to cherish, “You’re a good man Poe. No matter how badly you want to hurt the man in the mask, I knew you’d feel differently if you knew you were hurting me.”

She was right. She was always right. Sometimes he hated that about her. Sometimes he loved it. At the moment, he wasn’t sure how he felt.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” She concluded,” and I’m sorry for the pain he’s caused you. I hope that, one day, you’re both able to forgive me.”

She squeezed his hands lightly and turned away, leaving him in a stunned silence as she disappeared into the night.

_______________________________________

 

Rey felt Poe’s eyes on her as he entered the hut they were sharing with Finn and Rose. She hadn’t been able to sleep, and apparently, neither had he.

Not that he’d come back to try.

She’d watched as Leia walked Ben back to the tree they’d playfully climbed, handing him over to Poe and a group of five Resistance soldiers. She hadn’t seen either of them again since. Finn had brooded with her for a while before insisting she come down for dinner.

It had been a strained affair, with all eyes trained on her, silently judging or whispering behind her back. It was made tolerable only by their little bear-like hosts. They loved Threepio, and Leia told her the story of the first time they’d come to Endor, when the Ewok’s had believed Threepio to be a god. It was an entertaining story, filling in some of the Rebellion history Rey had never known, but it was all that Leia offered that night. She had slipped away with Lando as Threepio started to tell the story of Luke Skywalker’s last stand of Crait in what Rey surmised to be Ewokese.

Finn had been quiet throughout the meal, despite Rose’s valiant attempts to strike up a topic that would force either of them to offer more than a grunt or a nod. Finally, she gave up and Rey was able to escape, leaving Finn and Rose curled up together by the fire as they enjoyed the elaborate retelling.

Instead she made her way back to their hut and curled herself into a ball on the straw mattress, losing herself in her thoughts.

She’d fully expected Ben to attack her in anger the moment he woke up from his Force-induced sleep. Instead, he’d looked up at her with an expression she knew only as relief.

She’d been surprised to find that she felt exactly the same way. She was relieved to see him awake and even more relieved to find that she’d arrived in time to stop the fight that would have inevitably broken out had Ben and Poe not been interrupted at that exact moment.

Poe was justified in his anger, of course. As was Ben. As were Lando and Chewie and Finn. There was enough anger and resentment brewing on this planet to blow a crater in the place. By some miracle, no one had boiled over.

At least, not yet.

Hours later, she found herself in the exact same position. Finn and Rose had returned in silence, and quickly fallen into a deep sleep, marked by Finn’s deep snores. Now she waited anxiously for Poe to finally break the eerie and temporary peace that had settled over the place. Instead, he blew out the firelight and climbed into his own bed.

Rey let out a muffled sob. She wasn’t sure which was worse: being openly hated or quietly scorned.

Despite the fact that she was now surrounded by almost everyone she had ever known or cared about, she had never felt more alone.

The last time she’d felt this way, she’d found Ben waiting, listening patiently before telling her that she wasn’t alone. That had been her first real glimpse at the man behind the mask. He’d shown her compassion, empathy, emotions she hadn’t thought him capable of.

How she wished to for him to be here now, telling her it would be okay.

Then, almost as if he had heard her silent plea, she felt the familiar sensation of their bond pulse to life.

He was asleep, curled onto his side just as she was only facing her. It was almost as if he was there sharing the straw bed with her, his face so close. She’d never seen him like this before. He looked so young and innocent in sleep. She found herself wanting to reach out and brush away his dark hair out of his face, but she resisted. She couldn’t risk him waking up. Not like this.

Instead she closed her eyes and focused on the rhythm of his heartbeat beside her, synchronizing her breathing with his. His thoughts were calm and contented. She dug a little deeper and discovered that he was dreaming.

She knew it was wrong of her to invade the privacy of his sleeping subconscious, but she couldn’t resist learning what it was that had him feeling so peaceful.

_She immediately recognizes the location. It is the same balcony they’d been standing on in the dream she shared with Ben. They were back on Naboo. Ben is standing beside her, removing a young child from her arms as she calls out “Daddy!” in a delightfully sing-song voice._

_She is beautiful, Rey thinks, with dark waves that frame her bright brown eyes, eyes Rey immediately recognizes. Her skin is tan and freckled and her smile is wide and familiar, just like the button nose Rey only recently became acquainted with when she had gained access to refreshers that contained mirrors._

_This little girl, this perfect embodiment of joy and laughter, was equal parts Ben and equal parts her._

_But that means…_

_Ben kisses the little girl’s cheek as he wraps his free arm around her waist, claiming her as his own as their eyes meet. She is stunned by what she finds there. He looks at her with love and adoration, just as he had in the first dream._

The dream fades away, as does his body beside her, but she’d seen enough. He'd been dreaming of her, of a future where they had a family. A place where they never had to be alone again. It was everything she could've wanted and more. 

It was with his face in her mind that she finally drifted to sleep, with dreams of a future where it was somehow made real.


	28. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Rey makes him an offer he can't refuse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains one of the exchanges I have had written and planned for a loooong time. The slow burn is starting to sizzle everyone.
> 
> Thank you again for all of your continued support and I hope you are all continuing to enjoy my little head cannon. We've got a long road ahead us until Ep. IX, but all of the wonderful stories, content, and comments that this fandom produces make the wait feel that much more bearable.

It was a crisp morning in the forest. The best kind in Rey’s opinion. The dew was hanging precariously onto the leaves above her as she brushed by, soaking in the sensation of damp grass on her lower extremities. 

She’d woken before the rest of her bunk-mates feeling surprisingly well-rested considering the early hour. Her dreams had been peaceful, a result of the pleasant images she’d soaked up from her bond-mate before drifting off. She could feel the bond pulsing stronger now that she was physical near him. He remained asleep, his mind still calm and contented and she found herself wondering if it was as rare an experience for him as it was for her. 

Wanting to take advantage of the quiet calm of the early morning undisturbed, she slipped away from the sleepy tree-house village without making a sound and headed to the only place she now thought of as home: the Millennium Falcon.

The Falcon remained where she had landed it, not far off from the bunker in one of the forest’s rare clearings. It appeared untouched, which was good. There were always repairs to make on a ship as old and custom as this and that would give her a perfect excuse to slip away from the watchful eyes of the Resistance. 

As she stepped on the ships lowered entry ramp, she was overcome with a strange sense of deja vu. She turned back as she reached for the close trigger and half expected to see  _ him _ , Ben, looking back up at her with the sad eyes of a man lost. 

Was he still lost? 

She didn’t know. She didn’t know how he’d left things with his mother. She didn’t know what it was that possessed him to rescue her in the first place. And she really didn’t know why she suddenly felt so compelled to be there when he woke up, making sure he knew he wasn’t alone here in enemy territory. 

She took a deep breath, reaching out and gently pressing against his force presence. It was frightening how easy it was to do so now. His mind was so closely intertwined with her own that feeling for him was no more difficult than reaching up and touching her own face. It was natural, like an extension of herself that existed despite the physical distance. 

He was still asleep, she noted, but he would not be for long. 

She turned into the Falcon and headed to the lounge, pulling open the drawer where she had stashed the old Jedi texts from the temple on Ahch-To. So far, they’d proven useless, but she wondered if maybe Ben would be able to help her make sense of them.

He’d offered to teach her once and she’d rejected him, leaving him instead with the long jagged scar that would forever mark his face. She wanted Luke, a true Jedi master, to teach her the ways of the Force and to be her mentor. 

In reality, almost everything she had learned had come from Ben anyway. 

Her fighting style was adapted from his own aggressive form. Her ability to mind probe and manipulate those around her had been realized by feeling him use the powers against her. Even her initial answer to Luke during his first lesson on Ahch-To was based on watching the only other Force user she knew bend the Force to his will. 

He had propelled her understanding of the Force. He pushed her to question her reality and evaluate her beliefs. He was there for her when she needed comfort, offering compassion and understanding when she thought he had none to give. And everytime she took something that might rightly belong to him, beit his lightsaber or the abilities she’d stolen from his mind, he looked on her with curiosity and awe rather than the expected anger. 

She smiled to herself as she recalled his amusement when he’d realized she’d placed him in a Force induced coma to get him here. The tension of his encounter with Poe evaporated the moment the man had exited the room and his eyes had focused solely on her, brimming with something akin to pride.

Yes, Ben Solo, or Kylo Ren, whoever he was at any given moment, had been her true teacher all along. She supposed it was time to embrace it.  

Having stashed the texts safely in her pack, she made her way to the Falcon’s galley kitchen. She had no idea how to cook, but she knew that Ben would likely wake starving. There had to be something on this ship that she could throw together in as a peace offering. 

She banged around the kitchen for a while, pulling everything that even slightly resembled food onto the counter and then sighing dejectedly. Fixing this ship was decidedly easy. Fixing a meal? Not so much. 

“Rey?”

Jumping backward and grabbing for the counter, Rey was jolted out of her dejected state by a familiar raspy voice. 

“General Organa!” She exclaimed, grabbing her chest as she slowed her breathing. “What are you doing here?”

“I slept here.” Leia said, chuckling lightly as she moved into the kitchen and grabbed some of the assorted fixings. “You know, Han added this kitchen to the Falcon as a wedding gift. Always kept it well stocked too.”

Rey smiled sheepishly as she rubbed her hand against her arm. “I don’t actually know how to cook.” 

“Of course not.” Leia shrugged. “You never would’ve had a need.”

Rey nodded her agreement as Leia paused over the pair of dishes Rey had pulled from the shelves. “I suspect the second bowl wasn’t intended for me?” 

Rey didn’t know how to respond to that. Would Leia be angry with her for wanting to go to Ben? 

Leia took her silence as a confirmation and continued. “Here.” She as the General reaches up and pulled various white substances down from the shelves, measuring them carefully and dumping them into the mixing bowl with practiced hands,“Help me mix this together.”

Stepping forward and taking a spoon from Leia’s hand, Rey did as instructed, watching as the various ingredients morphed into a smooth yellow texture. 

“Good” Leia smiled. “Now we turn on the stove top and pour this in the pan.” 

Rey was engrossed, watching the yellowy substance brown before her eyes. Leia flipped the dough after a few minutes, and Rey marveled at the sweet scent wafting into her nose as she sighed deeply. “That looks amazing.”

Leia laughed as she took a flat tool that resembled a squared fork and removed the flapjack from the pan. “Here, now it’s your turn.”

They went on like that for a while, Leia helping Rey pour the correct amount and telling her when the flapjack was brown enough to flip. She’d dropped the dough the first time, but by her third flip, she was beginning to think she may have the hang of it. 

“These are called Dantooine flapjacks.” Leia explained, as she washed some round red objects in the sink. “It was a treat on the Rebel base when we were stationed there. I used to make them for Ben when he was a boy. They were his favorite.”

Leia spread the red balls onto the twin piles of flapjacks and then grabbed for a dark brown liquid from a shelf, drizzling it overtop. 

“There.” She said, satisfied with their work. 

On the counter sat two stacks of flapjacks, the most beautiful plates of food Rey had ever seen. And she’d helped create it. 

“General…” Rey began, suddenly feeling very emotional. 

“Please Rey. Call me Leia.” 

“Leia.” Rey nodded, looking down at her feet. This morning had been so lovely, learning to cook from Leia, spending time doing something so domestic. She wasn’t sure where to go from here. “I…”

“You don’t have to explain anything.” Leia said, gently placing her hand on Rey’s cheek. “Especially not to me.”

Rey closed her eyes, swallowing back tears. She appreciated the comfort Leia offered her, but she did not let it hurt the way it once would have. Leia wasn’t replacing her parents. She didn’t need her to. The strong, beautiful women that held her now was part of her future, a warm and welcoming embrace when she needed it and a calm and collected voice to guide her along the way. She was thrilled to have someone to fill that role, but mostly because Leia offered herself freely. Rey wasn’t taking anything that she wasn’t happy to give.

“Rey, darling,” Leia spoke softly, “You should get going. We wouldn’t want our masterpiece to get cold before you can even enjoy it.”

Leia’s knowing smile calmed her and she nodded vigorously as she pulled her sack over her shoulders and lifted the two steaming plates into her hands. 

“Thank you Leia.” She said as she headed out of the kitchen.

Leia shook her head, wiping her hands on a dish rag and leaning against the doorway. “No, thank you Rey.”

“What for?”

“For bringing my son home.” Rey caught the gleam of tears forming in the corner of Leia’s eyes as she shooed her out of the ship. “Now go, before he breaks out of his cell and misses out on the wonderful breakfast you’ve made him.” 

As she left the Falcon behind, balancing the plates of food carefully in her arms while she made her way through the forest to the bunker, she reached across their bond and felt him stirring.

_ Perfect _ , she thought. She would be there just in time. 

________________________________________

He shot up at the sound of his cell door opening, leaving the blessed half-sleep he’d been enjoying behind. 

“Ben?” 

It was Rey. He gaped at her, his eyes adjusting to the light that now filled his cell. 

“I hope I didn’t wake you.” She said nervously as she entered the room. 

“No.. I, uh…” He took in the sight of her before him, realizing after a moment that she was carrying something in both hands. A quick quirk of his nose told him it was food, the warm scent of a hot meal stirring something in chest. 

“I thought you might be hungry.” She said, opening his cuffs with a flick of her finger and handing him one of the plates she carried. He rubbed out his sore wrists and watched her set the other plate down on the hard floor to pull out the necessary utensils. 

Then he looked down at the plate in his hands and felt the knot in his stomach tighten further. 

Dantooine flapjacks. His favorite. 

“How did you know?” His voice was low and tinged with emotion. He almost didn’t recognize the sound of it. 

“Your mother helped me.” She said, handing him a fork and plopping ungracefully onto the floor in front of him. “I’d never actually cooked before.” 

He reached out gently and saw her memories of the morning float to him through the bond. His lips quirked up in a slight smile at the memory of her standing flustered over the piles of food she’d removed from the galley shelves. 

He moaned audibly as he tasted the first bite, closing his eyes and being transported back to their family kitchen on Chandrila. Most days their kitchen droid BX-778 cooked for them, but some mornings he would wander into the kitchen to find his mother flipping up his favorite breakfast, a smile on her face as she hummed a tune and piled his plate high with the berry coated cakes. 

Rey moaned next, and his eyes whipped open, watching as her shoulders sagged in pure ecstasy. “Maker, these are good.”

He bit back a laugh, unable to keep from smiling slightly as he took another bite. 

While he took his time to savor his meal, she scarfed it down like a starving woman in the desert. He supposed that was exactly what she was, even now that she no longer lived with the uncertainty of where her next meal would come from. Watching her pile the food into her mouth was appalling, but also oddly endearing.

She finished quickly, groaning contently as she swallowed the last oversized bite. “Alright.” She sighed. “I see why those were your favorite.”

He leaned back as he finished his own plate and set it to the side. “You didn’t come down here just to bring me breakfast.” He said growing serious again. She’d been strangely familiar with him the last two days. As badly as he wanted to believe it was genuine, he couldn’t trust it. He couldn’t trust her. 

“Would it be so terrible if I had?” She asked, her back straightening defensively.

He looked away, toward the door of his cell. What was she playing at? 

After a few moments of silence, she continued. “I actually came down here because I wanted your help with something.”

He turned back to her, quirking his brow. 

She turned away and grabbed for her sack, pulling out what looked at first glance to be a very old book. 

“What is that?”

Rey opened it up, confirming his initial assessment and offered it to him, eyes not leaving the frayed pages. 

“I took them. From the temple on Ahch-To. They’re the original Jedi texts.”

He ran his hands along the ancient words, stunned as he took in the fading ink. No one had books anymore. Few even knew how to write by hand. He was among those few. He loved reading, and he particularly enjoyed the feel of paper and binding in his hands. His eyes shot up and met her waiting gaze. 

“I was hoping,” she started nervously, “that you might be willing to... well… help me with them. Possibly.” 

He continued to stare at the book in his hand, trying to wrap his head around the fact that she had them here. These things that he and Luke had searched far and wide to find. But of course she had them. She somehow managed to possess everything he’d ever wanted at some point in his life. 

“If you don’t want to, I understand.” She spoke too fast now, her fear of his rejection palpable through the bond. “I just thought maybe…”

“Yes.”

Her eyes shot up to meet his. “Yes, you will help me?”

“Yes. I will help you.” He repeated in a daze. 

The wide smile she gave him pulled the knot in his chest impossibly tighter. What was he doing? What was he thinking? He couldn’t stay here. And what good would he possibly do her anyway? Did she even realize what she was asking him for? 

“Okay.” She said, leaning up on her knees and looking around the room for a moment. “Okay.”

Then, suddenly, she was on her feet. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

He glared at her questioningly, gesturing to the concrete walls around him. “I was under the impression I was a prisoner here. The Resistance doesn’t strike me as the type of organization to let their most valuable prisoner out for a stroll.”

She just shrugged, ignoring his jab. “You’ll be with me. Besides, no one has to know.” 

He liked that. He liked that she’d come to see him, even though the others didn’t want her to. He liked that he was her secret. It made him feel possessive of her in a way that was unfamiliar to him. 

He stood up then, looking down at her and realizing just how close she was. Her chin tilted up so that her lovely hazel eyes met his, much like they had on the elevator that day on the Supremacy. He looked away before he could get lost in them, gesturing toward the door.  

“In that case, after you, Scavenger.” 

She scoffed at the nickname he bestowed upon her, bumping his shoulder as she moved around him to grab his breakfast plate. She piled it on top of her own and made her way out of the cell.  Ben followed closely behind, an amused grin threatening the corners of his mouth yet again. 

As they exited the cell he noted the two guards that had been stationed outside his door were slumped on the floor fast asleep. He looked up at her and cocked his head.

_ Your handiwork? _

She looked away sheepishly as his question reached her through the bond. 

“I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.” She spoke aloud.

“And what idea would that be?”

She didn’t reply, but the sudden flush of her cheeks did not escape his notice. 

The walk to the exit of the bunker seemed shorter today. Perhaps it was because he knew where it led this time. Perhaps it was because he was not on his way to a reckoning with anyone from his past. Today he would be with Rey, helping her in whatever way he could and doing his best to forget that he was still a prisoner. 

He needed to leave this place soon if he wanted to retain any semblance of control over the First Order. He knew Hux would be out for blood, even if he hadn’t pieced together that the Supreme Leader had in fact been present on Bespin during the attack. He also knew the remaining Knights of Ren would be returning to the fleet, awaiting the return of their Master.

He knew all of this, and yet he found that he was in no particular rush to go back. 

They walked along in silence until the Falcon appeared in the distance. He felt her brushing against his mind, sending him calming thoughts as she turned to him. “I’m going to put these away,” she said motioning to the plates in her hand. “You don’t have to come with me, but you do have to promise you won’t wander off.” 

He glanced briefly to the his father’s beloved ship and felt his heart clench. “I won’t wander off.”

She nodded in understanding and turned to walk briskly toward the ship. His mother was still onboard. He could sense her there. All the more reason he was glad Rey hadn’t forced him to come with her. He couldn’t face being back on that ship with his mother. She may claim to have forgiven him, but that forgiveness would not erase the painful memories from the days they’d spent together as a family there. He felt her pain and mourning, even from this distance, and knew he would only amplify it by standing in the Falcon’s lounge now. 

Rey did not take long, and he was grateful that she turned them away from the ship to continue their walk through the forest. 

“So,” He stared as they climbed over a particularly thick tree root. “You managed to rebuild your lightsaber. Were the texts any help?”

“No.” She called back, jumping ahead lithely. “Honestly, I’m not really sure how I managed to do it. The texts were completely useless.”

For some reason that didn’t surprise him. She was naturally gifted at everything else she tried. He should’ve known building her own lightsaber would be no different. “But it is the same crystal, is it not?”

“It is.” She replied, turning and waiting for him to catch up. 

“My grandfather’s crystal.”

“Yes.” 

He towered over her, now that he’d caught up and was standing on equal ground, but she stood firm, daring him to claim it as his own once again.

He didn’t.

“But it’s yours now.” 

She stood stunned as he shrugged past her. She’d catch up when she wanted to. In the meantime, he would savor her shock through their bond and continue on his way. 

He’d turned behind another large tree and was out of her line of vision before he heard the rustle of leaves behind him, indicating she was on the move once again. He kept his gaze ahead as she joined his stride, her mind loudly contemplating beside him. 

“REY!” 

They both stopped suddenly at the sound of the voice breaking through the comfortable silence that had settled between them. 

“Kriff” She muttered angrily, jumping up onto the downed trunk before them and scanning the area. She must’ve spotted him quickly, for she returned to the ground beside him in a huff before he had time to follow her. “It’s Finn.”

“It seems safe to assume they realized their prisoner was missing.” He stated flatly, trying to keep his disappointment at bay. “And their Jedi.”

She shoved him slightly before pushing past him and moving quickly in the opposite direction of the former Stormtrooper. “I’m not a Jedi.”

He smirked to himself and began to follow her. “I know that. But it would seem that all of your  _ friends _ think otherwise.” 

She slowed down just enough to allow him to catch back up and then retained her previous pace. 

“It’s not very  _ Jedi-like _ to lie to those you claim to protect.” He continued to prod her despite himself.  

“I never lied to them.” She spat, charging ahead. “I never claimed to be a Jedi. I’ve never claimed to be anything at all.”

He huffed out a derisive laugh. “Perhaps not. But you haven’t corrected them either.” 

At this she spun to a stop, pulling her shoulders back and standing above him on the rock she’d been climbing. “And you’re one to talk.” She threw back baring her teeth in anger. “Does the First Order know who  _ actually _ killed Snoke? Or did you tell them it was me? The  _ Jedi _ girl.”

“That is different” He replied, balling his fists at his side.

“How?” She yelled, her anger boiling over at him. “How is any different? I do what I have to do to survive, just as you do. The Resistance is built on hope. Your mother told me that. And that’s what we need right now. The Jedi inspire hope.” He watched as the reality of her own words sank in, drawing her body into itself until she looked impossibly small. “That’s what they need me to be.” She muttered, “It’s all I have to offer. Even if it’s a lie… it’s all I have.”

His heart clenched as she looked away, trying to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks. It was a valiant effort, but she couldn’t hide her hurt from him. Not with their bond as strong as it was now that they were near. 

“No.” He said, shaking his head aggressively. “You know that’s not true.” 

She sniffled and looked down again, shaking her head as if to deny his words. 

“Rey, look at me.” He stepped close, resisting the urge to brush away the strand of hair that had fallen in her face. “You have everything to offer. And only a fool would be too blind to see that. Do you understand?” 

As she looked on him he memorized the brilliant blue of her eyes speckled with brown dots, like little islands in a vast ocean. “Okay.” She whispered, gazing on him with a sudden lightness and affection he was not suitably prepared to handle. He stepped back from her pushing down the urge to pull her close, and instead offered a hand to help her step down from the rock. She hesitated for a moment, but finally accepted his soft grasp, determining that there was no threat or harm in taking it this time.

“Something is changing in you." She whispered, holding on to his hand a moment longer than necessary. "I can feel it. You’re not all darkness anymore.”

He dropped his hand back to his side and continued their walk. He knew she was right, and for the first time in many years, he didn’t feel the urge to argue the truth away.

“Perhaps not.”

She hesitated, looking up at him and meeting his gaze tentatively. “But...”

But indeed. His politics hadn’t changed. He didn’t believe in the Republic. The galaxy could not be left alone to self-rule only to crumble at the weight of its own corruption yet again. And the galaxy would be in far greater danger if Hux was left in charge. He had so much left to do. 

“I have to go back.” He answered, almost regretfully. “I have to finished what I started.”

She stood there in silent contemplation for a moment, returning her gaze to the forest before them. He could not read her thoughts, they were moving too quickly, trying to piece something together as her emotions fluctuated between sadness, fear, and determination.

Finally, she looked back up at him, her face a picture of resolve. “Let me help you.”

He turned to her abruptly. “What?”

“Let me help you.” She said again, facing him directly.

He stared at her in shock for a moment as the reality of her offer hit him. Once, he’d offered to teach her, only to be beat back and maimed. Then he’d offered her a place by his side only to have his vulnerability thrown in his face. Now she stood here making an offer of her own. His instinct was to refuse her just as she’d refused him, to make her feel the way he’d felt.

But she was offering everything he wanted. He wanted to teach her. He wanted her to stand with him, to see him as he was and still choose him. She wouldn’t follow him into the dark, he knew that. But this new possibility, one where she might meet him in the middle, was too tantalizing to resist. 

“Why would you want to help me?” He asked accusingly, trying and failing to guard himself from her possible rejection. He couldn’t allow himself to hope. Not again.

She stepped toward him, now mere inches away, her head tilted up to meet his gaze.

“We’re supposed to be together.” She whispered, eyes wide as they bravely met his, “I can feel it.”

He remained silent for a moment, taking in the depth of her hazel eyes. How much he’d changed since meeting her, this scavenger girl from a backwater planet. A nobody. Nothing. Yet staring into her eyes now felt like the most natural place to be. It was like the Force had made her just for him, to show him everything he’d been too blind and arrogant to see. To be everything he was not. She was so much more than he could’ve ever deserved but exactly what he needed. The light that rose to meet his darkness. His perfect balance.

“I feel it too.”

She reached out and took his hand in her own and the Force swelled around them, like something was clicking into place at last. He looked down at their intertwining fingers for a moment in surprise, then looked up at her. Her eyes hadn’t left his. They were soft and inviting, pulling him down into the depth of her soul. She was yanking things out of him, things he’d thought were lost to him forever, as she wrapped him up in her light.

He wanted to be here. He wanted to be surrounded by her very being, to see what she saw, to be what she needed. He had never been so sure about anything in his life. Without her, he would be lost. And now that he’d finally found his way home, he never wanted to leave again.

“I thought you didn’t want to rule with me.” 

“I don’t.” She replied, looking down at their clasped hands and squeezing gently. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t help you.”

He swallowed hard, his gaze drifting down from her beautiful eyes to her soft lips, desire washing over him against his will. 

“And besides” She whispered, stepping impossibly closer one last time, her voice tantalizingly soft. “You promised you’d help me with the Jedi texts. We can call it even.” 

He felt breathless as he nodded his assent, leaning down toward her just so. He was fairly certain she could’ve said anything in that moment and he would have agreed to it, if only so that she would continue looking at him like that. He squeezed her hand gently, lifting his free hand up with the intent to cradle her face. 

“Rey!” The traitor appeared from atop the downed tree yanking them out of the blissful moment. “There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Kylo Ren has gone miss....” The man stopped as soon as he saw him, eyes drawn down to Rey’s hand wrapped in his own. She pulled away quickly as his partially raised hand drew back to scratch his neck awkwardly. Beside him, Rey coughed, her eyes guiltily trailing the forest floor.

“Found him.” She muttered. 

Ben wanted to laugh, both at her response and at the pained expression that was currently painting the traitor’s face. The man’s head whipped back and forth between them before his glare finally settled glare upon him. 

“Rey, Poe was looking for you. I’ll take Ren back to his cell.”

“Finn, I don’t think that’s…”

“Rey.” The man’s voice was stern as he finally turned to her. “It’s urgent,”

She turned to him then, eyes wide with anxiety. 

_ Go _ . He pushed to her through their bond.  _ It’ll be fine.  _

She nodded to him and then moved to climb the trunk where her friend had just appeared from. “Don’t do anything stupid Finn.” She said, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Finn replied, his eyes still glued to him, as if daring him to make a move. 

She climbed over the tree, turning back briefly to look at him. With a nod, he willed her away and then she was gone, leaving the two men very much alone in the dense woods, just as they had been not so long ago on Starkiller base.

Last time he'd nearly killed the man, and if Finn's expression was any indication, he had not been forgiven. 

"So," Finn started, stepping toward him with a jutted chin, "I think we need to have a chat."


	29. The Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn & Ben have a little chat. Ben comes to an important realization and seeks out the comfort from someone he's lost. Rey and Poe have it out, and Rey finds her way back to Ben once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I want to apologize for the delay! The last two weeks have been crazy and full of travel, but I am back on my weekly posting schedule again for the foreseeable future.
> 
> And to everyone who is still following along on this crazy ride, thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it, and I always enjoy reading your feedback and opinions. Please keep them coming!

He was an idiot. That was really the only explanation for his decision to send Rey away, leaving him here alone with a man had who tried to kill him. 

_ Brilliant that was. Just brilliant. _

But it was too late to turn back now.

“So,” Finn began, pulling himself up to his full height in a sad attempt to seem intimidating. “I think we need to have a chat.”

Ren just stared, his expression an odd cross between boredom and amusement. 

“Alright.”

Finn swallowed hard. Ren’s voice was far less frightening when it wasn’t distorted by the mask. He was still intimidating as hell, standing there motionless, half a foot taller and distinctly unwelcoming. But he was a man now, rather than the faceless reaper of death and destruction. 

“I’m just going to say it.” He began. “What’s going on with you and Rey?”

Ren quirked his brow questioningly. “I’m afraid you’ll need to me more specific.”

“Oh come on man. What’s your deal? Your intentions? Whatever you want to call them. She told me about your Force bond thing. She also told me that you’ve had ample opportunity to kill her and you haven’t. Why?”

Finn felt an odd sensation in his head as Ren stared him down curiously. It was not quite painful, just… strange. Like someone was in his mind, sorting through his thoughts. 

“You haven’t asked  _ her _ that?” 

Something about the way Ren was looking at him now set a Finn on edge. “I’m asking you.”

His mind lingered on the memory of Ren throwing Rey into the tree that night on Starkiller base. The way she’d screamed before crumpling to the ground in a limp heap. He hated that memory. It haunted him. And now it kept replaying in his mind, seemingly against his will.

Ren sneered as the sensation in Finn’s head disappeared. “I have no interest in killing her.”

“Why should I believe that?”

Ren stepped forward then, his previous expression replaced by cold sobriety. “Do you think you’d be standing here asking me that question if I did? I’ve never wanted to hurt her.”

That was news to Finn. He had no choice but to accept that Ren had saved Rey’s life when they faced Snoke. All evidence indicated that the former Supreme Leader was, in fact, dead, and obviously Rey wasn’t. But he’d watched Ren hurt her before, and she’d come back to them with more scars than she’d left with. 

“I hate to break it to you buddy, but you don’t exactly have the track record to back that up.”

Ren huffed, turning away from him. “That was… before. It’s different now.”

_ Kriff _ . That was exactly what Finn had been worried about.

He’d listened to Rey as she finally came clean about what had happened to her from the time she left to find Skywalker to the moment she rescued them on Crait. She had a lot to say and all of it was unsettling. Still, he’d listened. 

But he’d also observed.

He’d observed the way she was unable to look at him when she talked about her secret conversations with the man she called Ben. He watched her eyes grow wide when she insisted that there was still good in Ren, somewhere. She’d looked down at the man longingly when she spoke his birth name, the slight hint of a smile visible, if only to him. And then there was the moment he’d interrupted just now, when he found them alone together in the woods holding hands. 

Yeah, things were definitely different now. 

“Look, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo… whatever it is you’re calling yourself these days. Obviously I’m not a big fan of yours. If it were up to me, Rey would have your neck wrapped around the end of her lightsaber. But since that doesn’t appear to be her immediate plan, I want to make sure we’re clear.  _ Don’t hurt her.  _ Don’t use her. Don’t manipulate her. I don’t care how many mind tricks you pull on me, or how many swords you swing my way. If you hurt her, I will make sure you die a slow and painful death. One way or another. ”

Ren scoffed, but said nothing as he turned away.

“You may think that’s an empty threat.” Finn continued. “I get it. I don’t have any crazy Force powers like you do. But I promise you, every person here would happily...”

“Has it occured to you,” Ren cut him off, his voice eerily low and soft, “that  _ I’m _ not the one that’s using her?”

The accusation was unexpected, but he saw the burning hatred in Ren’s eyes and knew he meant every word. “What are you talking about?”

Ren ignored him, brushing past and starting to climb back over the downed trunk.

“Hey!” Finn called after, rushing to catch up only now realizing that Ren was no longer wearing stuncuffs, allowing him full dexterity as he climbed across the downed tree. 

_ Thanks for that Rey. _

Finn huffed as he ran to catch up, grabbing Ren’s overly muscular arm and yanking him to a halt. “What the kriff are you talking about? Rey’s my best friend. I love…”

“Don’t…” Ren spun around, his face dangerously close and his teeth bared. “...claim you love her. You hardly know her.” 

“Oh and you do?!”

Ren turned away again, his back hunched and his chest heaving. “Better than you do.”

Finn stood dumbstruck for a moment, trying to piece together his thoughts. Finally, his anger overtook all else. “And why is that? Because your minds are connected somehow? So what? I’ve been there for her. I’ve gone back for her when no one else would. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you come here and and try to convince her that there is something redeemable in you, only to break her heart.”

Finn was fuming now. He knew how stupid it was to provoke Kylo Ren. He’d seen the man lift fellow troopers and break their necks with the meer flick of a finger. But he didn’t care. Rey was worth it. And he wasn’t going to let him hurt her again. 

The strange sensation in his head returned as he watched Ren stand up taller. Neither said anything for a long time, but both were breathing hard, attempting to reign in their emotions. 

“If I hurt her again,” Ren finally whispered, barely audible as he stood facing away. “I’ll walk myself to the executioners chair.” 

Finn couldn’t move, his mind a buzz with the words he couldn’t be certain he’d just heard. 

Suddenly the truth clicked. He couldn’t fathom how it had happened, but it was the only explanation for the predicament they all now found themselves in. After Rey’s explanation, Finn assumed that Ren had come to save Leia. It was his strange penance for everything he’d done. But that wasn’t it at all. Sure, Leia was his mother, but he’d watched the man kill Han without blinking an eye. 

No, Ren hadn’t gone to Bespin just to save Leia. And she wasn’t the reason he allowed himself to be paraded around like a war prisoner now. 

He was doing it for Rey. 

“You…you love her. Don’t you?”

He didn’t need Ren to confirm it to know it was true. As soon as the words left his lips he was certain of it. Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, had fallen in love with the last Jedi.

And as he stared at the imposing back of the man who loved his best friend, a more unsettling possibility dawned on him.

What if she loved him too? 

 

———————————————-

 

Ben froze, replaying the traitor’s words in his head like a broken holorecord.

“You love her. Don’t you?”

Did he? 

Was that what these foreign sensations he’d been trying and failing to stuff down were?

She was his equal in the Force, certainly, and he found in her a kindred spirit. She was as lonely and lost as he was, a result of both their circumstances and power that no one else could understand. He felt compassion for her, and an unbridled appreciation for her tenacity and strength. She was a fighter, stronger than he was in so many ways.

Then there was the bone-deep need to keep her safe and alive and with him. The mere thought of her Force signature disappearing threatened to destroy what was left of his sanity. And then there was the way he got lost in the ocean of her eyes; or how her touch set his nerves aflame, shooting through him like the spices of Kessel, drowning the rest of the world away as his body hummed with contentment. 

He’d explained it all away by arguing that it was just the bond. If she was hurt, he would feel the pain too. That was why he needed to protect her. The electricity of her touch and the rightness of her presence was simply the Force reminding them of their strange connection. That connection was a result of the Force needing to self-correct. They needed to balance each other, but he’d never allowed himself to consider it was something more. 

But now, hearing the words said aloud, he knew he couldn’t pretend anymore. 

_ I love her _ . 

He felt like he was outside of his own body, his mind spinning as the weight of this truth, finally accepted, shot through him like a blade.

_ I love her. _

He wanted more than just to teach her or work beside her. He wanted  _ her _ . All of her.  

And then he felt her there, almost as if thinking the truth required him to confront it immediately. 

_ “Ben?” _

She wasn’t speaking, but he heard the words in his head as clearly as he would if she was. Her voice was thick with concern and he threw up his mental shields as quickly as he could. 

_ “Is everything ok?” _

What a loaded question that was. 

_ Yes.  _

It was the only response he offered her before slamming the bond shut. Technically, as far as she was concerned, everything was fine. He hadn’t killed her friend, although he couldn’t deny it had crossed his mind. No, it was the other thoughts that he was terrified of her seeing. The ones he now found himself drowning in. 

Before he could even consciously realize what he was doing, he began to move. The man she called Finn was calling him from behind, but his words went unheard. 

As he walked, his mind sprinted. He couldn’t act on his feelings.. She’d reject him, rightfully, after having just offered to help him. She was a naturally compassionate person, but that did not mean she would ever love him. How could she? 

It was one thing to forgive, and to hope that he could change. It was another thing entirely to love him.

He couldn’t expect that of her. He couldn’t hope for it, no matter what the Force continued to show them. He was too far gone, too broken. Finn was right: to be with him would only bring her more pain. He couldn’t allow her to endure more for his sake.  

After awhile he realized where his feet had unconsciously taken him. His eyes drew up and he was punished by the same stabbing guilt he’d pushed away that morning. 

He swallowed hard, knowing that he couldn’t run from this anymore. He needed help, and the only person he wished he could talk to was the man who should’ve been waiting inside. 

Walking up the gang plank of the Millenium Falcon, Ben Solo made his way directly to the cockpit, pausing only as his eyes found the captain’s chair.

It was his father’s chair. There had been a time when he’d hoped it would someday be his. 

Now it was Rey’s. His father had as much as given it to her. 

Han Solo was not known for showing affection in traditional ways, but he knew from his invasion of Rey’s mind that his father quite liked the scavenger girl who’d inadvertently returned his beloved ship to him. More than liked her, actually. He’d offered her a job, a way out of her lonely life of desperation, and he’d helped guide her to a new family. 

He’d taken care of Rey, just like he’d taken care of so many other young up-and-comers. Ben had always been jealous of the way his father mentored the pilots, feeling betrayed by the amount of time he gave to others rather than him.

But he was not jealous of the care Han Solo showed Rey. She deserved to have someone show her support and love. She needed it. And if it hadn’t been for his father, he never would’ve met her. Perhaps that would’ve been better for her, but selfishly Ben was thankful. 

In truth, he had so much to thank his father for.

Han sacrificed himself to try and save his son. He’d failed then, but killing his father brought him more pain than he ever thought possible, and it forced him to confront the war within himself. It brought him back to Rey. It brought him back to his mother. 

And now it had brought him back here, battered and broken, to the Millenium Falcon, desperate to take back what he’d done. Slumping down to the ground between the seats, his left hand clenched around the armrest where his father had placed him as a young boy. 

He could see him sitting there, the crooked smile plastered on his face as he winked at his only son. He could hear his voice, sharp and deep, affectionately calling him “kid” as he ruffled his hair. He could feel his rough hands on his shoulder and smell the grease and oil of a man who spent most of his life working on ships. 

He needed him now. He needed his help, his guidance, his twisted version of “good” advice that somehow always panned out.

But his father was gone, and Ben had no one to blame but himself. 

“I’m sorry.” He cried out, the sobs wracking through his body. “I’m so sorry.”

A soft pressure settled on his shoulder, so gentle he thought he must be imagining it, as a voice he once knew so well whispered silently in his ear. 

_ I know. _

————————————————————-

 

“Damn it Rey!” She watched in resigned silence as Poe paced the length of the hut, fuming. “I’ve given you a lot of leniency with him. I’ve kept him alive because you asked me to for kriff’s sake. But he is our prisoner! And more than that, he’s dangerous! I can’t tell Leia not to talk to him. But you? And to let him out? To take him on a  _ walk  _ for kriff’s sake! What were you thinking?”

“I know.” She muttered under her breath. “I’m sorry.” 

He threw up his arms and huffed out angrily. “You’re sorry!? What if he killed someone Rey? What if he killed you? Or Finn? You left Finn out there alone with a murdering psychopath!” 

“He won’t hurt him.” She knew that was true. She could feel him still. He was angry, but not so angry that he would kill someone. 

“How do you know?” Poe demanded. 

“I just do!” She snapped back at him.“I can’t explain it to you. I just need you to trust me.” 

Her glare hardened on the Commander, meeting his anger head on as Ben’s words echoed in her mind. She had to believe that they saw her as more than a tool. But if they couldn’t trust her, then she could no longer be sure. 

“Rey,” Poe started again, his voice slowly dropping back to a level that was only slightly above normal, “It’s him I don’t trust, not you. I know what he’s capable of...”

“So do I.” She argued. “Better than you do. Better than anyone else here. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen into his mind. I’ve taken his powers and I’ve used them against him. Has it crossed your mind that I could be just as dangerous as he is?”

Poe stammered for a minute, taken aback by her confession before shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re on our side. You’re our Jedi. You’re…”

“I’m NOT your Jedi, Poe!” 

The words left her lips before she even realized what she was saying. She was angry. Angry that Poe for labeling her without understanding. Angry at herself for letting the farce go on as long as it had. And perhaps most of all, she was angry with Ben for being right once again.  

“I’m not a Jedi, Poe. I’m just me. Just Rey. I want to help in any way that I can, but I’m not a Jedi. And I am not  _ yours _ . I belong to nobody but  _ myself _ .”

Poe just stood there dumbstruck as she continued, venting her frustrations more freely than she ever had before.

“If you want me to inspire hope and help you bring down the First Order, you’re going to have to trust me. This… this power I have is complicated and I have a lot to learn. And the only way I can do that is with a teacher. He has promised to help me.” She hesitated for a moment before finishing with stubborn confidence, “And I’ve promised to help him in return.”

That snapped Poe out of his daze immediately. “What do you mean you promised to help him?” 

“I mean exactly that.”

“So, what? Are you switching sides!?”

“No, I...”

“Did you forget who he is Rey?”

“Of course not, I…”

“He’s the Supreme Leader of the First Order, that’s who! He’s a murderer and a liar and a tyrant. If you help him, if you help the Order, then you’re fighting against us.” 

Rey’s stomach turned in knots as he yelled at her. Part of her wanted to cry, part of her wanted to whip out her lightsaber and stuff it into the nearest wall. 

“NO!” She screamed, cutting him off immediately. “I’m trying to help you! All of you! And you’re too blind and stubborn to see it!”

At that, Rey turned on her heels and stormed from the hut, pushing past the soldiers who had been listening in, now trying to look innocently busy and fooling no one. 

She wasn’t sure who or what she sought out now, only that she wanted to get far away from here. 

BB-8 rolled up beside her as she crossed the bridge to the other side of the village, beeping his apology as she huffed along. 

“I know buddy.” She replied, softening as the little orange ball rolled to a halt in front of her. “I’m not mad you. I promise.” 

She knelt down and rubbed the droids head. “Your master is just a little frustrating sometimes.” BB-8 expressed his agreement strongly, and she couldn’t help but laugh. 

She was still on her knees when she felt a shift in the Force. Ben’s emotions were in turmoil, but not in a way she was used to. It wasn’t anger or pain, but something else entirely. Something soft and light, but tinged with confusion. 

“ _ Ben? _ ” She whispered silently through their bond, trying to pick up on the new flares he was emoting. “ _ Is everything ok? _ ”

As soon as she’d asked the question, he closed off his mind, shuttering his emotions and keeping her at bay. He replied with only a soft “ _ yes _ ” before slamming the bond closed and leaving her alone in her mind once again.

She huffed in frustration, standing and clenching her fists as she stared out at the woods below. 

He wasn’t going to shut her out too. Not if she had anything to say about it. 

And so she made her way over to the rope entrance to the village, propelled herself down the mammoth tree trunk, and followed the pull of her bondmate’s Force signature. He could keep her out of his mind, but he couldn’t erase himself completely.

She followed a familiar path and found herself standing in front of the Millenium Falcon, simultaneously surprised and pleased that this is where he’d decided to hole up. 

Entering carefully in an effort to be mindful of what he may be feeling, she found that he was not in the main lounge, or the captain’s quarters, or any of the smuggling compartments she’d made her own. She didn’t find him in the gunner’s bays, or in the galley and she didn’t even bother to check the hyperdrive compartment, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be in there. 

That left only one place. The place he’d refused to go when they’d escaped Bespin. The place where she knew he would be forced to confront the hard truth of what he’d done on Starkiller. Where the loss of Han Solo was felt most deeply by them all. 

And it was in that place where she found him, kneeling on the floor of the cockpit, his head dropped into the captain’s seat as his body shook with sobs. 

He looked impossibly small, particularly for a man she knew to be anything but, and she was overcome by an urge to comfort him. 

She approached slowly, bending down and kneeling beside him. His raven waves looked so soft as they covered his face and she lifted her hand instinctively to brush them aside.

“Ben?” She whispered gently, her fingers catching on the back of his neck as he stiffened under her touch. “It’s ok. I’m here. It’s ok.”

He sucked in harshly and flinched away from her hand.

After a moment he muttered, “I’m sorry.”

She drew her hand away, letting it fall to her lap as she shook her head sadly. “You don’t have to hide from me you know.” 

He drew in a deep breath as he turned and met her gaze. She had looked on him many times, but in that moment her heart stopped. His deep brown eyes were a deep cistern of longing, red and puffy from crying, but no less enchanting. 

He huffed sadly and moved to stand, offering up a hand to her. She accepted it without hesitation and met his eyes dead on once again. Nothing about him had changed, and yet everything had. It was as if she was looking at him for the first time, having never truly seen him before. 

He was beautiful. 

In his sadness and in his pain, there was so much beauty. She swallowed hard as her eyes traced down the length of the scar she’d given him, lingering on his lips a moment too long before following the trail down to his broad shoulders. 

She had no explanation for the sudden urge that overcame her, but she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself up in his arms and hold him. He spoke before she had the chance. 

“You’re upset.” He whispered gently. 

She let out a single snort of laughter as her gaze returned to his. “Really?”

His lips twisted up in the barest hint of a smile before settling into a picture of concern. “What happened?”

She sighed deeply, looking out at the woods from the window behind him absentmindedly. Her gaze hardened as she noted Resistance soldiers approaching the ship, led by Finn and Poe. 

Ben looked at her questioningly before turning and realizing what it was that brought about her change in demeanor. 

“ Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh !” Both of the whipped around at the sound of Chewbacca’s growl entering the cockpit. 

“Kriff Chewie!” Rey yelled, leaping back in shock. “A warning would’ve been nice.” 

The Wookie ignored her, looking right over her head at the man who stood behind her. She turned back to him and saw that Ben was meeting his glare dead on, his face hardened into resolved acceptance.

“It appears it is time I returned to my cell.” He spoke the words at Chewie before finally looking down at her. The softness that had been their moment ago was gone and the mask and shields he always wore around others returned, but she still could see the longing in his eyes. She knew now that she would always find his true feelings there, as long as he would let her look.  

“Of course.” She replied stiffly, moving out of the way for him the exit the cockpit. Chewie held out stuncuffs and Ben placed his wrists inside without hesitation, turning to follow the Wookie out of the ship without looking back at her.

“Ben...” She called after a moment.

He stopped and turned slightly toward her.

“I’ll see you later?” She posed it as a question, knowing full well that the moment he decided he wanted to leave, none of them would be able to stop him. Truthfully, she was shocked he was still there at all, and she doubted he’d be willing to put up with this humiliation much longer.

His eyes grew wide with surprise before softening into the hint of a smile as he nodded. “You know where to find me.”

Chewie rolled his eyes and huffed his disapproval, but she still sensed the subtle fondness he harbored for Ben as he pushed him out of the cockpit. She remained behind, watching out the window as they approached the troops. Ben was calm, far calmer than she was, and as she watched the soldiers lead him away she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d finally found some peace here.

Brushing gently against his mind she discovered that he had. The conflict that had raged inside of him was dimming, like a weight removed from his shoulders at long last. He wasn’t healed, but he wasn’t being torn apart from the inside out anymore either. His pain was natural, that of a son mourning the loss of a father he once loved. And in that moment she was sure - Han Solo’s sacrifice had not been for nothing. 

His son was slowly finding his way home.


	30. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia finally tells Lando the truth  
> Ben and Chewbacca have some words  
> Finn sees Rey's side  
> and Leia and Ben take a step in the right direction

Leia was fuming.

“What do you mean they ‘captured’ him?” She gripped at her protocol droid. “We already had him!”

“Well you see General, he was not in cell this morning when the guards woke up.” Threepio replied with his usual frantic tone. “It appears that Miss Rey decided to... take him for a walk.”

Leia paused.

“A walk?”

“Yes General Organa. They appear to have knocked out his guards and left the bunker. Commander Dameron reprimanded her this morning after they were found. She left him in quite a hurry. If I may, I believe she was rather angry with him.”

The smile that perked up on Leia’s face could not be helped. Of course Rey would do something like that. She couldn’t even be mad at the girl. If anything, she loved her more for it.

“Thank you Threepio.” Leia left her exasperated droid behind as she left the hut, running immediately into Lando.

“Princess!” The smuggler exclaimed. “I’ve been looking for you! Chewie found Ben in the Falcon. They’re taking him…”

“Yes I know.” Leia continued walking while Lando trailed behind her.

“Leia,” He called after her. “Leia stop!”

She obliged him, turning back and waiting. He was still as suave as ever, but his age was showing more clearly in the circles under his eyes and the gray that was beginning to peak out along his hairline.  “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you can’t keep avoiding this conversation forever.”

“Oh?” Leia’s eyebrow quirked up. “But we’d been doing so well up to this point. I’d hate to ruin our progress.”

“Leia...Please. I love him too. He’s not my son, but he was the closest thing I ever had.” She had never known Lando not to at least smirk at her sarcasm, and it was for this reason she relented. He was right. She’d denied him answers for too long, and he did deserve to know what happened.

She reached out and took his hand as she braced herself for yet another painful conversation. She’d been having too many of those as of late. Her morning in the kitchen with Rey had been her only reprieve from the emotional torment, and even that was laced with bittersweet memories of happier times.

“We should sit.” She offered, solemnly, “This may take a while, and these old hips of mine aren’t getting any younger.”

__________

The confrontation outside the Falcon had been silent but for Chewie’s demand that he take Ben back to his cell alone. Dameron hesitated as if he was going to argue, but thought better of it when Chewie moved to loom threateningly over him.

And so Ben Solo found himself being pushed toward the bunker by a highly irritable Wookie, waiting for the moment his arm would be removed from its socket, a threat he’d heard his father make on more than one occasion when Chewie was at his flank.

Once they were out of earshot of the Resistance soldiers, Chewie grabbed him and threw him against the nearest tree. He could’ve resisted, but he didn’t want to. He deserved whatever beating his father’s best friend was about to send his way. A large part of him wished he could inflict it upon himself. He was already broken and bleeding, having finally allowed himself to feel the full weight of his actions and suffering a greater emotional guilt than he had known to be possible. By comparison, the physical pain would be welcomed like an old friend.

He braced himself for the blow, but it didn’t come.

After a few moments he looked up and saw that Chewbacca was simply looking down at him.

And that shattered the rest of his already broken heart into a thousand more miserable pieces.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, knowing it could never be enough.  

“Rrr-gh” Chewie groaned, softer than usual.

Stupid boy was one of the kinder things Chewie could’ve called him, all things considered.

“I know.” He looked down, unable to look at the Wookie any longer. Chewie had gone home to Kashyyyk before Ben was born, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t an important part of Ben’s childhood. His father had made sure of it, even forcing him to learn Shyriiwook as a boy.

Young Ben Solo had loved his father’s Wookie best friend. He’d felt safe on his furry shoulders, and Chewie had always known what to say whenever he was upset about his parents fighting.

“Rrrrr-ghh rrrr-ghgh”

“I don’t want you to forgive me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

Chewie was silent for another moment, leaving Ben alone in his thoughts. Then, he jolted as a large furry hand rested gently on his shoulder.

< _I don’t forgive you. But I still love you_. >

Ben’s head shot up, certain he’d misunderstood.

< _Also, because little Jedi cares about you. And I care about little Jedi_ . _I don’t think she’d forgive me if I removed one of your ungrateful limbs._ >

Chewie laughed gently at his own joke, but Ben did not find it funny at all.

“She doesn’t…”

< _You really are a stupid boy_ . _Little Jedi cares about you. And you care about her too, even if you are terrible at showing it._ >

Ben huffed. His heart may have been a pile of mud, but his ego was still intact.

< _Just like your father_ . > Chewie shook his head fondly. < _Took him years to get it right with the Princess._ >

His heart clenched at the casual mention of his parents. They’d fought often, but he knew they loved each other. He’d seen it. They were imperfect, their stubborn streaks often getting the best of them, but Han Solo had loved Leia Organa deeply.. And the beautiful, regal Princess and Senator had loved her rugged scoundrel just the same.

< _Come_ > Chewie let him go and gestured that they should keep walking. < _Before wiley pilot comes back and I am forced to remove a limb._ >

Ben nodded and followed. They walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence. Much as it was with his mother, his relationship with Chewbacca was hardly repaired. But he could not deny that progress had been made.

The longer he stayed here, the less angry he felt. There was pain, certainly, but it was different than the pain he used to propel himself into the darkside. He felt tired, yet calmed. He could sleep dreamlessly and wake up feeling rested, a sensation he had forgotten was possible. He had even found himself smiling slightly while with Rey that day. He hadn’t smiled since… well, in truth he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled.

This wasn’t home. He didn’t belong here, and he never would. But as Chewbacca opened the door to his cell and he flopped down on his small, hard bed he wondered if home wasn’t as lost a concept as he once imagined.

____________

He found her in the cockpit, sitting silently in the captain’s chair with her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin resting gently atop them.

“Rey?”

She did not jump at the sound of his voice. She didn’t move at all actually. Swallowing nervously, Finn entered the cockpit and slowly lowered himself into the co-pilot’s seat.

“Are you here to yell at me too?” She asked, refusing to turn and look at him.

He looked at her questioningly, “No. I just wanted to check on you.”

She just sighed and closed her eyes.

“But Rey, I do have to ask… Why were you…” He hesitated, altogether uncomfortable with the direction he needed to take this conversation and completely unsure how to begin.

“Why was I holding his hand?” She offered quietly, her eyes still closed and her body still curled into a ball.

He reached back and scratched his neck nervously. “I mean, I wasn’t necessarily going to start there, but yeah.”

She sighed again and opened her eyes, gluing them to the forest outside instead of looking at him.

“Honestly Finn, I don’t know. I just… wanted to. It felt right, in the moment.”

It was bad enough that Kylo Ren appeared to be falling for his best friend. While it seemed incomprehensible, he also knew he shouldn’t be entirely shocked. Rey was incredibly loveable. And she was beautiful too, in her own way. It wasn’t hard to see how Ren could’ve fallen in love with her, even if he was an evil bastard.

But what he couldn’t understand was how she could possibly be feeling the same way about him. She was fiercely independent, yelling at him repeatedly when he’d tried to hold her hand when they escaped from Jakku. And yet, the more she talked and the more he watched, the more certain he was that she cared about Ren. Maybe it wasn’t love, but it wasn’t hatred either. Not anymore.

“What were you talking about?” He offered, trying to be casual.

She raised her hand up and gently rubbed her temples. “I told him I wanted to help him.”

Finn’s heart dropped. “Hhhhelp him?” He stuttered.

“Great, are you going to tell me I’m a traitor too?” She finally turned and laid upon him a stare that was equal parts accusatory and heartbroken.  

“Nnno.” He swallowed hard, forcing himself to calm down. “Why? Is that what Poe said?”

“More or less.” She replied, sinking deeper into the chair and looking back out at the forest. “We all want this war to end. We all want to put a stop to the death and destruction. What if, by working with him, I can help to find a way to do that?”

She turned back to him then, determination burning bright in her hazel eyes. “What if that’s what I’m meant to do?”

The words Rose had spoken to him when she’d kissed him in the wreckage on Crait echoed through his mind.

_That’s how we’re going to win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love._

He didn’t like it anymore then he expected Poe did, but he couldn’t help but want to believe her. She was so determined that she was right. And if he was honest with himself, he knew she was too. They wouldn’t win this war by blowing up the enemy. It hadn’t worked against the Empire, and it wouldn’t work against the First Order either.

But maybe, just maybe, Rey could save them all by saving Ben Solo.

“Honestly, Rey,” He said, turning to her with resigned acceptance. “I.. I think that _is_ what you’re meant to do.”

__________________

Ben was jolted awake by the door of his cell opening yet again. This time, however, he was not greeted not by the smell of a hot breakfast and beautiful hazel eyes, but familiar brown ones.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” His mother said, stepping inside his cell with a box in hand.

He scoffed slightly as he looked around his small room. “Not much to interrupt.”

Leia looked around as well, before gesturing to the box she was holding. “I thought I’d change that.”

He eyed the box curiously, sitting up on his bed as she moved the rest of the way into the cell.

“Sabaac.” She answered his curious gaze. “If you’re interested.”

His chest tightened as his eyes flew up to hers in surprise.

Leia laughed at the scandalized expression that must’ve been plastered on his face as she sat down on the bed next to him. “I may have let you win when you were little, but I assure you I am worthy competition now, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

It wasn’t and she knew it, but he could sense that this was her way of offering him an olive branch, and for some reason that he did not want to explore at the moment, he decided to accept it.

They began in silence, the rules slowly coming back to him after decades away from the game. It was another skill his father and Lando had taught him during their trips to Bespin. Ben took up the card game with great enthusiasm, finding that he was quite good, particularly after learning all the tips and tricks from two of the most proficient gamblers in the galaxy.

He was never able to best his father when they played, but his mother had been another story. He’d always thought it was because he was a better player than she was.

Until today.

Leia Organa beat him round after round, and he grew increasingly frustrated.

“Why did you always let me win as a kid?” He growled as he studied the cards in his hands.

“Because your father wouldn’t.” She shrugged,“And the look on your face whenever you beat me was worth far more than the credits I lost.”

He looked up at her and was met with the same loving gaze she’d always offered him as a child. He felt a tug on his heartstrings, and an odd desire to smile back at her.

The feeling evaporated mere seconds later when she threw down another winning hand.

“How?” He groaned, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. “I can read minds for kriffs sake.”

Leia chuckled “And I appreciate that you’ve refrained from sinking so low today.”

“Who says I have?” He muttered under his breath.

“Oh so that was what that strange headache that kept coming and going was?” She smirked as she gathered the cards back into a pile. “Then, I suppose I should be grateful that the one lesson I did accept from Luke was how to close off my mind.”

At the sound of Luke’s name, Ben tensed and looked away.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment until Leia pivoted to another, slightly less uncomfortable topic. The key word being _slightly_.

“Did you enjoy your breakfast this morning?”

He turned back but did not meet her gaze as he grabbed for his new hand of cards. “I did.”

“Rey is a quick learner.” He could hear the smile in his mother’s voice.

“Yes, she is.”

There was a heavy pause before his mother continued.

“And the guards we found knocked-out outside your door… Your doing, or…?”

He continued to idly sort the cards in his hand, refusing to meet his mother’s prodding stare. He preferred not to risk Rey's safety here. They already thought him a monster. It made it easier for everyone if they believed only he was a risk.

But he should’ve known that wouldn’t fool his mother.

“I knew she had it in her.” She whispered, a smile evident in her tone. “And then she took you for a walk?”

His eyes bore into the cards so hard he was beginning to think the shape of the staves and flasks would be permanently ingrained on everything his eyes laid upon from here on out.

“She did.”

“And how did that go?”

This was getting out of hand. He was sitting on his bed with his mother playing Sabaac while she prodded him about a walk he went on with a girl earlier that day. He felt like he was 14 again. Not a 30 year old prisoner of war who had killed her husband and brother along with countless others and continued to pose a dire threat to everything she held dear.

"Are we actually doing this right now?"

"Humor me, please."

He growled to himself before finally answering her. “She asked me to help her with the Jedi texts she stole from Ahch-To.”

“And what did you say?”

He silently fist pumped as he pulled the card he needed, offering a necessary distraction from the uncomfortable turn the conversation was taking.  “I told her I would.”

He could feel his mother trying to resist smirking as she drew another card. “Did you ask for anything in return?”

That was a curious question, and he looked up at her with a frown. She pretended to be studying her hand, and he scowled accusingly as he looked back down and made his next move. “No, I didn’t ask her for anything.”

“I’m sorry, I had to ask. Apparently she got in a rather heated argument with Commander Dameron today. Something about her ‘promising to help you in return’”.

Ben’s head shot up, while his mother shrugged and continued playing as if what she’d just said was of no significance whatsoever. They both knew it wasn’t.

To Ben, it was everything.

He’d believed her when she told him she wanted to help him, but he’d known it was unlikely that they’d see eye to eye about what that looked like. He _never_ expected that she’d tell anyone else about her promise.

Whatever relationship they had was supposed to be their secret. She’d been so afraid that they’d abandon her. He’d felt it the day they’d arrived here and they’d been caught as she helped him up to the village platform. He’d seen it in her nightmares.

But today she’d admitted it. More than admitted it, actually. She’d fought her friend over him. That must’ve been why she was upset when she found him in the Falcon.

Leia’s voice broke him from his spinning thoughts. “I take it that rumor had some truth to it then?”

He finally looked at her and opened his mouth to reply, finding that he was still too surprised to come up with any words.

Leia set down her cards and reached out to him, taking one of his over sized hands in her own. Normally he would’ve jerked away, but he didn’t this time. He was too stunned. “Not that I haven’t enjoyed kicking your butt in Sabaac today, but I was actually hoping to talk to you about Rey.”

He closed his mouth and met her waiting gaze. “What about her?”

“Well,” She began, taking on a cautious tone, “I believe you know that she told me about your bond, and about what happened on the Supremacy.”

He nodded, growing more uncomfortable by the second.

“And of course, I’m not stupid enough to believe you showed up in Cloud City just to save your dear old mom.” The knowing half smile she gave him stung, but he couldn’t deny it. Saving her had been a fortunate byproduct of his need to protect Rey, not his primary objective.

“So, because I am your mother, whether you like it or not, it is my job to ask you uncomfortable questions.”

He flinched, knowing what was coming before the words even left her mouth.

“Do you love her Ben?”

He sighed and looked away, breathing out deeply and feeling for her signature in the Force. Rey was calm now, and he was grateful. When he’d left her she’d been a mess of emotions, and he found that he dreaded knowing she was ever in pain.

That thought alone gave him the answer to the question his mother had just asked. He hadn’t spoken it aloud earlier when the traitor had asked, but he didn’t have a choice now.

“Yes.” He answered finally, turning back and looking at the pile of cards. “I...I think I do love her.”

He was still looking down as his mother’s small, frail hand graced his face, pushing back the long dark hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.

“That’s all I needed to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got to apologize for the choppy way Chewie's dialogue happened. I wanted to keep him in grunts and growls, but there was just no good way to make the interpretation clear through only Ben's responses. I hope it didn't throw you all off too much.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, for your comments and support, and for making writing fun. I never realized how fulfilling it can be to work on something like this, and now I never want to stop. Much love <3


	31. The Secrets Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Rey bond  
> Leia watches from afar  
> and Ben and Rey make an important decision about the future

It had been a tense few cycles for the Resistance. Rose had spent them working on the ships they’d managed to get off of Bespin alongside Ty and Kitnik, trying her best not to pry where she did not belong.

She enjoyed the work, and it had been a welcome distraction from the absurdities taking place all around them. But even the problem solving required of her was not enough to keep her imagination from running wild with terrifying possibilities.

Finn had been walking as if in a daze, Poe had been huffing along with an unusual level of grouchiness, barking orders and snapping at everyone that had the misfortune to pass him by, and she hadn’t seen Rey since dinner the night prior.

Then she’d heard that Finn had gone and confronted Kylo Ren alone, the rumor spreading through the tree village like wildfire following Rey and Poe’s fight. He’d come wandering into the space they were using as a shipyard looking for her and she’d dropped everything and flung herself at him.

“You’re so stupid Finn!” She’d cried against him, punching his arm over and over. “He could’ve killed you!”

“I know...” He’d muttered, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe his own words. “But he didn’t Rose. He didn’t even threaten me.”

She’d stepped back and cocked her head in disbelief.

“The man in the forest today, it’s not the same man I knew from the First Order. And Rose, I think he’s in love with Rey.”

Her jaw had dropped. “No way.”

“I know it sounds insane, but it’s true. And there’s more…”

She’d listened as Finn unloaded on her, hardly stopping to catch his breath until he’d filled her in on all that he’d learned in the previous two cycles.

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you any of that.” He’d sighed, his shoulders shrugging as if an enormous weight had just lifted off of them. But he had, and now she couldn’t un-hear all of Rey’s secrets.

And so she’d made the decision to be the kind of friend that she hoped Rey would be to her if the roles were reversed, and she went to talk to her directly.

She’d found her sitting outside of their hut, her legs dangling off the platform and her eyes closed in apparent concentration. She’d hesitated once she saw her there, her nerves getting the better of her, and turned to leave Rey in peace.

“You don’t have to leave.”

She stopped in her tracks and turned back to Rey.

“Are you sure?” She questioned meekly. “I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You’re not.” Rey’s eyes opened and and she patted the ground next to her.

Rose obliged, plopping down next to Rey and swinging her legs over the edge. They were sitting a level above the rest of the village, with a view of the going’s on below. She liked it up here. It was quiet when you needed it to be, but not so removed that you didn’t know what was happening below.

“How are you?” She asked, turning to Rey beside her. “Finn said you’ve had a long day.”

Rey let out a shaky laugh. “You could say that, yeah.”

Rose watched Rey’s hands fell into her lap, the right one tugging nervously at the left. She liked Rey, and while she’d been nervous around her at first, she’d quickly realized that she had nothing to fear from her. They weren’t particularly close, but for some reason that Rose couldn’t quite explain, she trusted her.

“I totally get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but if you do, I’m here.”

A small smile appear on Rey’s lips as she turned to look up at her. “Thank you Rose. I appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Rose returned the smile, and sat back, her confidence in this conversation growing, despite the slight headache that was developing.  “That’s what friends are for.”

Rey looked up at her in surprise, her eyes glistening with the beginnings of tears, which was not at all the reaction Rose had been hoping for.

“I mean, I consider you my friend, but I know I don’t know you very well and I shouldn’t have assumed and…”

Rey shook her head aggressively as Rose continued to ramble. “No, no. It’s not that. I’ve just never had friends before. I never had anyone at all. It’s a little overwhelming, I guess.”

“Oh!” Rose silently scolded herself. “I… I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry.”

Rey shrugged. “It's alright.”

They sat in silence, staring out over the village for what felt like hours. Finally, Rose worked up the courage to press on.

“You know,” She started meekly, “I lost everyone too.”

Rey turned to her then, eyes wide and curious, and so she continued.

“My parents died in the mines when I was very young. My brother, Max, took care of my sister and I for a while, but eventually he left too. Paige never told me why.” Rose shrugged in an attempt to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to come.

Rose’s face fell as she looked into her lap. “And now she’s gone too. And I don’t really know what to do.”

“I’m sorry.” Rey whispered softly.

Suddenly Rey’s hand was resting over hers and the kindest of the gesture broke open the dam she’d forced her tears back behind.

At the sound of her sobs, Rey pulled away. “Oh, I’m sorry! Leia did that to comfort me once and I thought…”

Rose shook her head and grabbed for Rey’s hand again, gripping it tightly as she wiped away her snot filled tears. Rey seemed to understand what she needed, and placed her other hand atop the one Rose was gripping like a life-line, squeezing gently.

She’d done her best to hold in the pain of Paige’s death, determined to stay strong and be useful. But she missed her sister. She was her best friend, he protector, her hero. She’d been Rose’s whole world for as long as she could remember, the center of her universe and the only thing she’d had to fight for. Without her, she felt lost.

Rey let Rose cry against her shoulder for a long time, saying nothing, but maintaining her solid grip on her hand, until finally the tears subsided.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know came over me.” She muttered, wiping at her dripping nose dejectedly.

“You lost your sister.” Rey replied gently, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and pulling her into a sideways hug. “Even I can understand how hard that is.”

“How did you do it? On your own, I mean. You were so young.”

Rey shrugged. “I just did. You learn how to survive, how to keep going. I didn’t have a choice. It was keep going or die. And I was too stubborn to die.”

Rose let out a weak laugh. Rey was stubborn. It was one of the first things Rose had noted about the woman who held her, and it also one of the things she liked best.

“But,” Rey continued after a moment, “I think it’s okay for you to be sad. Pushing it away, denying the truth… it will keep you from where you need to be.”

Rose looked up again and noticed that Rey was staring out over the village, her eyes glazed as if she was somewhere else entirely.

“Rey…” Rose leaned away, taking her hands back and straightening her posture. “Finn told me about… everything.”

Rey didn’t respond for a moment. Then finally, she nodded.

“I know.”

Rose’s jaw dropped.

“How...how did you know?” She’d come here immediately following her conversation with Finn. There was no way he could’ve possibly beaten her to it. And she was sure that Rey hadn’t been nearby…

“It’s kind of hard to explain, but I could… feel your anxiety. I can feel your signature, in the Force. You were practically yelling at me in your head.”

“Oh…” That was not what Rose had expected. Not that she really knew what she _was_ expecting. The Force had been nothing but a myth to her, something she’d heard about it stories, but never experienced firsthand. She knew Rey supposedly had it, whatever that meant, but only because everyone else called her a Jedi. She’d never actually _seen_ her use it. Now that she thought about it, she’d never even heard Rey mention it before.

“H-how do you feel about it?”

Rey’s hesitant question snapped Rose out of her daze. “About the Force?”

“No.” She hesitated, looking down at her hands. “About Ben… and me.”

Oh.

OH.

Finn had mentioned that Kylo Ren was really Leia’s son, Ben Solo, but for some reason that hadn’t clicked with her. Even when he’d been describing the strange connection Rey had with him, he’d never used his birth name.

But Rey did. That had to mean something, right?

Rose coughed nervously before speaking, unsure she even had a right to have an opinion on the matter.

“I, uh, well…” She stammered awkwardly.

Rey’s shoulders slumped dejectedly. Rose knew Poe had yelled at her already, and she also knew that Finn’s concerned hadn’t gone unsaid. But Rose felt differently. No matter her reservations, Rey had proven herself loyal to them. And if she thought there was something redeemable in the man she called Ben, then she would trust her.

“Honestly Rey, it’s hard to understand. But then, it’s not really my place to.”

Rey looked over at her with the slightest twinge of hope in her eyes, and Rose met her gaze reassuringly.

“I trust you, and I trust that you’re doing what you think is best. If that means that we have to put some faith in Kylo Ren, then I’m willing to do that.”

Rey’s face lit up in a brilliant smile as she flew forward and crushed her in a tight embrace.

“Thank you Rose. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Rose smiled against Rey’s shoulder as they stayed locked in a tight embrace.

“Can I ask you for one favor though?” Rose asked nervously, pulling back slightly.

“Of course.” Rey sat back, “What is it?”

“Can you not tell Finn that I told you he spilled the beans?” Rose scratched at her hands nervously. “He made me promise I wouldn’t.”

Rey’s laugh was like music in the afternoon breeze.

“I won’t tell him.” She said, shaking her head fondly. “But he does deserve it.”

“Oh yeah.” Rose grinned. “He definitely deserves it.”

Rey’s smile remained as she turned back to look out over the village. Rose joined her gaze, spotting Finn below. He was surrounded by three Ewoks, two of whom were grabbing for his hands and attempting to drag him away.

The sight of her dearest friend resisting the furry creatures, trying and failing to convince them let him go the other way, made her laugh, drawing up a smile to match Rey’s.

One by one, her birth family had left her, but before she’d gone, her sister had brought her here, to the Resistance, providing her one last gift: a new family. One that would fight for her and that she could fight for in return.

Looking up toward a sky that was hidden by age-old trees, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, speaking into the abyss in the hopes that somewhere, somehow, her sister could hear her silent whisper.

_I love you Paige. Thank you._

 

___________________

 

Leia had been making her way to the hut for dinner when she saw Rey sliding her way out of the crowded hut, delicately balancing a slice of camylictus berry pie in one hand, with a skewer of meat in the other.

One of the first things Han had told her when they met again on Takodana was that the girl their son had taken was special. It was rare for her husband to feel so strongly about anyone, much less a random girl he’d only just met. But the moment Leia had met her she’d immediately understood what he meant. Rey’s spunk and determination reminded her of herself, her big heart so similar to Han’s, and her streak of rash bravery frighteningly reminiscent of Luke when he was young. Leia loved the girl, felt for her and admired her.

And now…

Ben loved her.

She’d suspected he cared for her as soon as Rey showed her the memories of their bond. She’d watched him beg her to stay with him, however tactlessly, on the Supremacy. It was truly astounding how epically he’d botched that proposal. Apparently the depth if her failure had extended farther than she’d realized. She would need to apologize for that too. Even so, she recognized the sincerity in his eyes  She’d seen his eyes soften whenever Rey appeared before him. She’d felt his emotions rippling from him in waves when Rey brought him up to the village, his body language shifting to the point where he was nearly unrecognizable.

But hearing him say it, hearing him confirm the one thing she’d wanted for him from the moment she’d felt him growing inside of her all those years ago, had brought her more joy than she knew what to do with.

Ben loved her. And if Ben could love then he wasn’t lost.

She smiled to herself as she hid in the shadows, watching the girl go and knowing exactly where she was headed. Han might not have been around as much as Ben needed him to be as a child, but he’d brought Rey to them, and he’d sacrificed himself so that Ben could finally be free.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, feeling at peace for the first time in decades.

“He’s going to be alright.” A soft pressure rested gently against her shoulder as the comforting sound of Luke’s voice settled in her ear.

“Yes.” She replied, opening her eyes in time to see Rey disappear into the forest. “Yes, I think he is.”

___________________________

Ben had been pacing his small cell since his mother had left him hours earlier.

He’d enjoyed their afternoon, much to his surprise, but the admission of his feelings for Rey was continuing to plague him.

He loved her, but it meant nothing if she did not feel the same.

And she didn’t. She wouldn’t. Not as long as he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, which he may or may not still be, considering how long it had been since he’d made any contact with his forces.

He had to get back, if for no other reason than he needed to ensure that Hux hadn’t invaded another planet and killed more innocent civilians in his name.

If he was honest with himself, he also wanted to go back because he had work to do. He’d spent his youth watching his mother and her colleagues bicker and squabble uselessly, only able to accomplish anything of consequence when Mon Mothma stepped in as a mediator. That first hand experience, mixed with the extensive reading he had done on the Galactic Senate and the rise of the Empire in his youth left him quite sure that the galaxy could never be effectively ruled through democracy. It needed a leader, or leaders, that could make the difficult decisions when the time came.

He could be that person.

He’d wanted to do it with Rey, but he knew that he couldn’t ask it of her again.

Nevertheless, he refused to allow the galaxy to fall into the hands of Armitage Hux. He could change things. It would be a slow and arduous process, but he could do it. He would do it. It was his destiny.

But was it what he truly wanted?

Visions of a future with Rey dominated his dreams, filling him with hope and desire and an unsettling urge to take her hand and run away from it all. And now that he’d admitted his weakness to his mother, and to himself, he couldn’t help but feel that this was his last chance. If he walked away from her again she would be lost to him forever. The thought nearly drove him mad.

The sound of his cell door sliding open unexpectedly interrupted his troubling string of thoughts, and he jumped. Turning, his heart thudding in his chest, he was met with the subject of all his turmoil. Bathed in the backlight of he hallway he would’ve called her an angel if he hadn’t known better.

“Good to know I can still startle you.” Rey teased as she stepped into the cell, the door sliding closed behind her.

He turned the rest of the way around and let his shoulders fall as she approached, holding out a skewer of meat and a delectable looking pie.

“I thought you might be hungry. And I wasn’t sure if anyone was feeding you.” She offered, handing him the food. “Don’t worry, I didn’t do the cooking, so it should be edible.”

He took the food gratefully, as the smell wafted through his nose, reminding his stomach that he was, in fact, famished. So much so that he threw the manners his mother had ingrained in him since childhood by the wayside and immediately bit into the skewer of meat, letting the juices drip down his chin unashamed.

Rey grinned as she watched him eat, settling herself on his bed and reaching into her bag to pull out one of the Jedi texts. “You’re eating like a desert rat Supreme Leader.”

He shot her a glare as he pulled back mid-bite, wiping his chin across his hand. “I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with one. It appears her table manners are wearing off on me.”

The sound of her light giggle sent his heart into a flutter, and he took a step forward, making quick work of the remaining meat before setting down beside her, the plate of pie balancing in his lap as he read over her shoulder.

“What are we working tonight?” He whispered, voice low and seductive. He was close enough to feel her shiver and it thrilled him, emboldening him to move closer.

“Um..” She coughed slightly, straightening her posture.  “Well, I was thinking perhaps we could start by working on my shields. In my mind that is.”

He pulled back and looked at her curiously. “Your shields are already strong Rey.”

“Yes, well, they could always be stronger. You’re still able to get through.”

“Only when you forget to block me out.”

She turned then to face him. “You leave your shields up all the time. I can only ever feel emotions coming off of you, not thoughts. It seems unfair that you can see more than I can.”

Ben considered her for a moment. He loved that he could see into her mind and hear her thoughts. It allowed him to understand her in a way he never could if she’d blocked him out completely. But he couldn’t deny that it was unfair. If she could hear his thoughts everything would be ruined. And he could not risk her knowing how he felt. She’d only just agreed to let him teach her. His feelings would only destroy the careful peace constructed between them.

“Alright. We’ll work on your shields.”

The smile she gifted him was consolation enough, and so they got to work.

She’d successfully managed to keep him from probing into her mind for a least an hour before she shifted her focus back on him.

“You’ve been anxious.” She stated, her eyes still closed as she sat cross-legged before him. “Why?”

He sighed deeply. “I’m a prisoner. I’ve been locked up in here all day. Isn’t that reason enough?”

“No.” She shook her head and furrowed her brow in concentration. He felt her pressing against his mind, trying to break through his carefully constructed walls. “It’s not that. It’s something else.”

His heart beat erratically in his chest as he felt her reaching into his mind. He couldn’t let her through, not to the part of him that had to remain hidden from her. Instead he opened a path that lead in another direction, one that he knew they needed to address sooner rather than later anyway.

“You want to leave.” She whispered as she reached into the opening he’d left for her. Her body sank down dejectedly and she opened her eyes, meeting his with a sadness he longed to take away.  

“Want to isn’t the right word…”

“Then what is?” Her shoulders pulled back as her sadness shifted into something akin to betrayal.

“I have to Rey.” He leaned toward her, urging her to understand. “You knew that. You’ve been waiting for it.”

She looked away, her shields falling just enough for him to see that he was right.

“I know.” She replied finally, her eyes falling to the ground. “I guess part of me just hoped maybe you wouldn’t.”

“The system is broken” He argued. “As Supreme Leader, I could change that. I could rule fairly. Hux won’t do that. If I don’t go back, he will rule as dictator. As it is, I’ve been gone too long. He wanted to invade Coruscant before I went to Naboo and I refused him. For all I know, he could have taken half the Core Worlds by now.”

Rey finally looked up at him, listening intently as he continued. “I promised I would teach you, and I will keep that promise as best I can, but if I don’t go back, if I don’t take my place as Supreme Leader, then the war will never end.”

It was her turn to consider him now, and he watched as her hazel eyes probed his face for any sign of deceit.

“Okay.” She finally whispered.

“Okay?”

“You promised me you’d teach me and I promised you I would help you. If you have to leave, then I’m coming with you.”

Ben leaned back in shock. “You...I…”

“You told me in the forest that you had to go back.” She stated matter-of-factly. “I told you that I would help you. I meant it.”

He continued to gape at her as the words hit him like a ton of durasteel. What he’d done to deserve this woman, he would never know. He _did_ know that he desperately wanted to close the distance between them, wrap her up in his arms, and kiss her.

Before that dangerous thought could lead to action, however, Rey stood.

“We need a plan.” She said, beginning to pace along the same path that he had been hours before.

Ben smirked as he watched her, her nervous energy rolling off of her in waves. But he wasn’t worried. He’d formulated countless plans as he’d paced his cell that day. He’d never imagined that this particular one would ever become more than a dream, but he had to admit, it was his favorite.  He stood to join her, meeting her gaze with newfound determination.

“Way ahead of you Scavenger.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am late on this chapter (again) and I want to apologize. I got distracted with epilouge material rather than focusing on the task at hand :( But we are back and should be on schedule for the foreseeable future.
> 
> For those of you still reading: THANK YOU! I love your feedback and I hope you're still enjoying my little labor of love. 
> 
> I finally have a complete outline for this story finalized, and there is still so much left to cover, but things are about to get moving again in a big way. Stay tuned!


	32. The Plans Formed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia has some unexpected evening visitors,  
> Rey asks Ben some personal questions,  
> and Rey takes some time to self-reflect.

Leia took the long way back to the Falcon that evening as Chewie followed behind her, offering silent protection in the dark woods while allowing her the space she needed to gather her thoughts and soothe her growing headache.

Dinner had been followed by a tense meeting with the remaining Resistance leadership. At the moment, that included only herself, Lando, Poe, and Larma D’Arcy. She’d asked Kaydel Connix to join as well, but in the end she’d offered little in the way of help.

They needed to leave Endor. It was too close to Bespin and it was too obvious a hide-out for anyone with knowledge of the Rebellion. While she appreciated their Ewok hosts willingness to risk everything to help them, she refused to put them in harm's way for longer than was absolutely necessary. Not to mention they lacked the technology needed to effectively rebuild their fleet and network. 

So why was she the only one who saw it that way?

Lando argued that they were safer here than they would be anywhere else. Poe claimed that they could not risk moving while they held Kylo Ren hostage. D’Arcy had agreed that they couldn’t stay indefinitely, but that they all needed more time to regroup and recover before considering another move. And Connix stood by Poe, as she always seemed to as of late, leaving Leia alone with her convictions. 

She wasn’t entirely sure how long she’d wandered, but eventually she found herself hugging Chewie goodnight before walking up the gangplank of the Falcon, her hips now throbbing in time with her head. Turning away from the captains quarters, she made her way toward the galley, deciding that a stiff drink would be necessary before she could even consider sleep. 

As it turned out, that drink would have to wait as well.

“Leia?” 

She looked up to find a ball of nervous energy in the form of Rey standing before her in the hall. She quickly noted that Rey was dressed in dark gray travelers clothes, a bag slung over her shoulder and a disheartened expression painting her face.

“Rey?” She questioned, approaching the girl.  “It’s late. Why aren’t you in bed?”

Rey looked back toward the lounge and then turned, gesturing in the direction her gaze had followed. “We need to talk to you.”

“Whose we…?” Leia frowned, turning into the lounge.

She stopped immediately when she saw the answer. Ben rose up from his position against the dejarik table, his dark, brooding frame a stark contrast against the dirty white of the aged ship. 

She knew what it meant, him standing there in the Falcon. She’d known it was coming the moment she’d woken up on Endor and discovered he was still there. Truth be told, she was more than a little surprised that this was how it was happening: quietly, privately, in a place she never expected to see him again. No one injured or, perhaps more likely, dead. 

“You’re going back.”

Ben stood stoic, his eyes filled with something that looked suspiciously like regret. “I am.”

She turned to look at Rey who had moved into the lounge and now stood between them. Rey’s eyes dropped down, temporarily falling near Ben’s feet before she pulled up to meet Leia’s questioning gaze directly. 

“I’m going with him.”

Her eyes flew to Ben, brow pulled up in concern. He was looking at Rey, chewing at the inside of his mouth as he always used to do, his eyes wide with reserved admiration. He wanted this, Leia knew, but that didn’t mean it came without risk.

“What is your plan?”

“We need to get to Naboo.” Rey piped in, “That’s where Ben was before Bespin. He still has a contingent there.”

Leia moved to sit down at the table, soaking in every word. “How will you explain your extended absence? And the fact that you now have a wanted fugitive with you..”

Rey came and stood beside Ben at the table, looking up at him expectantly. 

“I discovered her whereabouts and left to apprehend her.” He supplied, his eyes lingering a moment too long on Rey before he looked down at Leia. “She will be coming back as my prisoner.”

Leia turned to Rey skeptically. “And you’re okay with that?”

Rey shrugged. “I won’t actually be his prisoner. Not like last time.” Rey was nonchalant about it, but Leia didn’t miss the way her son flinched at the casual mention of his torture tactics. 

“And then what?” Leia pressed. “You remain a prisoner of the First Order while we sit here and pretend like everything is great? Ben, you may be my son, but I’ve spent my life fighting against tyranny. I can’t let you just walk out of here if that’s the path you intend to follow.”

Ben clenched his fists in front of her, his mouth tensing into a tight line as his anger boiled just below the surface. “And I’ve spent my life watching democracy fail, Mother. I want peace for the galaxy, fair rule of law and protection for those who need it most.”

“But the First Order is a tyrannical military…”

“The First Order WAS a great many things.” Ben growled, “But it doesn’t have to be. We can make it into something different, better. We can build something that will be effective and will last.” He hesitated for a moment before finishing. “I’d like your help to do that.”

Leia sat back, stunned. “My help?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not sure I understand. We have very different views of good government Ben.”

‘We do.” Ben acknowledged. “But you’ve also seen the failing of the Empire and the Republic first hand and you’ve rebuilt a galaxy once already.  Yes, you failed. But we don’t have to this time. This time, we can do it right.”

Ben’s eyes were wide and pleading, drawing her back to the day they’d sent him off to Luke. She should’ve been there for him then, but instead she’d dedicated herself to a government and a cause that had failed, missing out on that invaluable time with her son. 

She knew how much he resented the Republic for those deeply personal reasons, but she also understood why he believed it to be a lost cause. She’d lost him once due to her own selfishness yet he stood here now, against all odds, asking her to commit herself to rebuilding the galaxy anew once more. She was tired and weary, deeply unsure that she would even be of any use to him in this endeavor. But she couldn’t let him go again, even if it meant aligning herself with the very ideals she’d spent her life fighting against. She could do this for him. She would do it. And they would not be alone.

She turned to look up at Rey, who had been watching him intently. 

“Rey, what about you? I thought you didn’t want this?”

“I didn’t” She replied softly, Ben’s eyes flying up to watch her as she stared down at the table. “I still don’t really. But I want to learn more about the Force, and I want to help end the war.” 

Rey turned to look at her then, determination blazing in her bright hazel eyes. “I can’t do that here.”

Despite her conviction, Leia saw the hint of sadness in Rey’s eyes. She would be sacrificing her friends if she left, leaving without even saying goodbye. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t trust Ben, and if she didn’t believe that this was the right thing. 

This girl had brought them hope when all seemed lost. Looking at her now, a picture of strength and determination, with Ben standing by her side was a powerful sight to behold. Leia couldn’t help but hope that maybe it could be different this time.

She sighed deeply as she nodded her assent. “How can I help?”

“I’ve programmed my private comms channel into the Falcon.” Ben said. “It’s encrypted, untraceable, and only accessible through my personal signature.” He gestured toward his gloved hand. “We can stay in contact through that channel.”

“And we know that you can’t afford to give us a ship.” Rey added, “We were hoping that Chewie could drop us on Naboo. He could turn it into a supply run.”

She looked between the two of them, standing tall and united before her, and felt a wave of pride wash over her. The plan had its holes, but overall it was solid. They had thought this through. He had no reason to come to her, or to ask for her help. He could’ve stolen away at any time without so much as a final hate filled glare. Yet here he stood, as if in search of her blessing, giving her a way to keep him close.

It was a greater gift than she would possibly put into words.

“Rey,” She said, taking hold of the girl’s hand and squeezing gently as she moved to stand once again. “Would you give us a moment?”

“Of course.” Rey nodded. “I’ll go talk to Chewie.”

Both she and Ben watched as Rey left the lounge, a silence falling between them. 

“I won’t let anything happen to her.” He proclaimed quietly, his gaze lingering on the exit where Rey had disappeared. 

“I know.” Leia answered, “It’s not her I’m worried about.” 

He turned and looked down on her with a furrowed brow as she craned her neck back to meet his questioning glare. 

“Have you told her how you feel?”

He looked away guiltily, his hand clenching at his side. “No.” He muttered. 

“Why not?” She questioned gently, placing her hand on his arm. 

“I…I don’t…She doesn’t...” He stammered, shoulders falling in discomfort and dismay. 

“It’s okay.” Leia urged, running her hand softly down his arm. “You’ll know when the time is right.” 

He looked up and met her eyes. Gone was the dangerous darksider, the Supreme Leader of the First Order and ruler of the galaxy. He was just her son, nervous and unsure of how to tell a girl how he felt. 

She swallowed back her tears as she looked on him, desperately hoping that it would not be the last time. “I don’t want to send you away again.” 

“This time it’s not your decision.” His voice was cold, but as she looked up she saw the smirk that pulled at his lips. 

She let out a weak laugh and pulled him against her, wrapping her small arms as far around his broad frame as she could.

“I love you, Ben.” She whispered from her place against his chest, hiding her tears in his dark tunic. 

He hesitated for a moment, letting her melt against him, before slowly raising his arms returning her hug. “I know.” He whispered, his voice uneven above her. “I… I love you too...Mom.”

 

______________________

The ship hummed as it launched into hyperspace. Be would have preferred to be in control of it himself, but he’d acquiesced to the sharp warning glare Chewie had shot his way upon his entry into the cockpit. 

Instead he’d settled himself in the small lounge area in the back of the shuttle they’d borrowed and stayed out of the way. 

If he was honest, it was better this way. Flying the ship would’ve been a welcome distraction, but it was one he could not afford right now. Rey was confident in the plan he’d laid out, but the longer he dwelled on it, the less sure he became. 

His two remaining knights, Iridysa and Vizan, had been en route upon his departure from Naboo and had almost certainly communed on the ship. While Tizo had proven himself loyal thus far, the other two would be less certain, particularly if Iridysa still harbored the same proclivities she had before she’d been sent away. And then there was Hux. The slimy bottom-feeder had most certainly used his absence to undermine his orders. He would be more surprised to find that the First Order had  _ not _ invaded Coruscant by the time they landed than he would to hear that they’d held off. 

It had only been three cycles, but for one whose rule was so unstable, it had been three cycles too long. 

“Sorry about Chewie.” Rey’s voice stirred him from his thoughts and he looked up as she sat down across from him on the gray lounger. “He wasn’t exactly thrilled to do this for us.” 

“Hmmph.” He scoffed. “For  _ me _ you mean?”

Rey shrugged her agreement, “I don’t think he would’ve done it for you. So it’s better we stick with ‘us’.”

Ben stared at her as she turned to look out the porthole. She was projecting a sense of calm comfort, but he knew she was just as on edge as he was. 

It wasn’t until she broke the silence with a question that he realized he was staring. 

“Will you tell me about your Knights?” She turned to meet his gaze as she drew her knees up against her chest. “I’ve seen them before, I think. In a vision...”

He hesitated, “What about them?” 

“Who are they?”

He dropped his head as the memories of his years training with Luke came flooding back. They’d picked up new students throughout their travels, some more gifted than others. All were lost in some way, although their respective hardship never seemed to explain which side of the coin they felt most drawn to. When the moment came, even he had been surprised at who had chosen to fight by his side. 

“They were at Luke’s temple with me.” He offered finally. 

“Were they your friends?”

He hesitated as he contemplated how to answer the seemingly simple question. ‘Friend’ was not exactly the word he would use describe the complicated relationships he had with the ones who’d chosen to follow him, but for the purposes of answering her question, he decided it would have to do.

“I suppose you might call them that.” 

She nodded as she considered his answer, her brow furrowing in thought before she pressed on.

“How many are there?”

He turned back to look at her wearily. “So many questions.”

She scoffed mockingly. “Seems only fair that I should know what I’m walking into. Besides, you’re supposed to be my teacher, right? It’s your job to answer my questions.”

He sighed as his mouth twitched into the slightest hint of a smirk and reclined his head against the edge of the lounger. “There were six, not including myself. Now there are three.”

Rey’s head titled curiously. “What happened to the others?”

He didn’t want to think about what happened to the others. It had been a serious blow each time one of his Knights had fallen. They were more than mere soldiers, they were brothers at arms. He’d sent them away thinking he was protecting them. Instead he’d sent them to their deaths. It was another failure he carried with him every day. 

“They were all sent out on missions throughout the galaxy, years ago. I tasked them with finding and eliminating various Rebellion sympathizers, along with... others... whom we’d determined to be potential threats.” He spoke as impassively as he could, but his self-hatred tinged every word. “Some of those targets became larger... problems... than expected.” 

“And the three that survived?” Rey pushed gently.

“They are formidable.” He acquiesced, “Each gifted with different, yet highly useful talents.”

Rey’s signature shifted subtly, the quiet curiosity that had painted her face now a vision of uncertainty. 

“But,” He leaned forward toward her, drawn in by her wide eyes, “they are not half as powerful as you.”

She looked at him skeptically. “But they are trained…”

“As am I.” He shrugged. “As were the Praetorian guards. And you’ve held your own against us all. You underestimate yourself Rey.”

The hazel orbs that sat so perfectly on her face flitted up to his and his heart caught in his chest. Her eyes sparkled with a longing that was now seeping unwilling through their bond. He wasn’t sure if it was his own desires, or hers, but it suddenly felt as though all of the recycled air had been sucked out into the vacuum of space, leaving him unable to breathe. 

“You shouldn’t do that” he whispered, acutely aware that his words had two meanings as he leaned in closer to her. 

Her body followed suit, relaxing slightly as her eyes held his, searching for something unknown within the depth of his soul.

“Do what?” Her voice fell low, and he swallowed hard against the sudden fluttering sensation taking flight low in his abdomen. 

“Underestimate yourself.” He breathed, looking down at the soft curve of her lips, damnably close and oh so enticing... 

“Rrrrr-ghh rrrr-ghgh?” Chewbacca’s growls sent them both reeling backwards, away from one another, like two teenagers caught in a compromising position. 

“Of course!” She yelped in response to the Wookie’s mechanical request, her voice an octave higher than usual. His heart was racing brutally against his rib cage as she flung herself up off the couch like it had bit her. “I’ll go check the oscillator now.” 

Ben watched her go helplessly before he turned back to Chewie, anger, frustration, and disappointment muddling together into an unfortunate emotional soup. 

“Thanks for that.” Ben snapped, glaring up at the Wookie accusingly as he huffed back again the lounger.

Chewie shrugged innocently and turned back into the cockpit, leaving Ben alone in the lounge with enough pent up frustration to power a hyperdrive.

 

————————

Rey threw herself into the engineering hold, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she dropped back against the hard surface of the computer and slid down to the ground. 

He’d almost kissed her. 

Or had she almost kissed him? 

She honestly wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

If Chewie hadn’t come in and interrupted them, she had no idea what would’ve happened. And the scariest part was that this wasn’t the first time. In the hut on Ahch-To, Luke had separated them, then Finn found them in the forest holding hands. 

This time, though, they’d gone a step further, leaning into one another like gravity itself was pulling them together. 

She shook her head and tried to focus on her breathing, drawing the air in and out as slowly as she could. 

He’d been looking at her different as of late, the piercing depths of his chocolate eyes paralyzing her whenever they met her own. Her body had a visceral reaction to his presence, one so unlike the perpetual fight or flight response she’d lived with for most of her life. She had no way of identifying the nervous energy that built low in her gut whenever she caught glimpses of his taut muscles stretching or flexing, or the sensation that ran through her when he’d whispered over her shoulder earlier that evening, so close, yet still so far. 

She’d found herself absentmindedly studying his face when he wasn’t looking, storing each curve, scar, and mark for future contemplation. She would catch herself mindlessly thinking about them as she worked, determining that he was a beautiful creature, particularly on the rare occasions she’d managed to wrangle out the briefest hint of a smile. 

In those rare moments her heart swelled with greater satisfaction than was altogether acceptable. Making any other person smile did not feel half as rewarding, and yet with him it was a most thrilling mission. She thrived off of his happiness, however fleeting it may be, and suddenly it dawned on her that in the brief few days that they’d been back together, her own mood had become intrinsically tied to his. 

She cared about him. That much she couldn’t deny. But it was different than the way she felt about Finn, Rose or Poe. With her friends, she sought laughter, comradery, a common purpose. Without their shared goals and beliefs, however, there would be little left. 

With Ben, it was the opposite. They had no common ground, no shared purpose or experiences to build off of. And yet he saw her more clearly than anyone else ever had. He laid her bare, pulling at the strings she’d hidden deep within her and leaving her open and vulnerable. 

It had terrified her in the throne room. In truth, it terrified her now. But the quiet voice in the back of her head grew louder as she realized the truth she’d been too afraid to acknowledge: he saw her for what she was and wanted her anyway. The lonely desert rat, a nobody from nowhere, and he’d run across the galaxy to save her. He’d killed his master so that he wouldn’t have to end her life. 

She’d been so focused on what he’d said about her parents, the truth she’d denied for so long, that she ignored the most honest confession he’d offered her amidst the falling flames. 

_ You’re nothing… but not to me. _

_ But not to me. _

To him, she  _ was _ something. 

And, despite her best efforts, to her, he was slowly becoming everything. 

She wanted to know him. All of him. Every hidden fear or secret passion. She wanted to dig up all of the parts he’d buried inside the shell of Kylo Ren and dust them off, making them shiny and new again, as they were meant to be. 

Rey looked down at her hands, clenching them tightly, testing that she was, in fact, awake and not in some mad dream where she would wake up to find that none of it was real. 

Deciding that it was not, she pushed herself up. Chewie had asked her to check on the ships settings, feeling that they were not working optimally. She needed focus on the task before her, not on the brooding man sitting on the other side of the thin metal walls, looming over her every thought like a ghost. 

They would get to Naboo soon enough, and then everything would change. He would be Supreme Leader again, and Ben Solo would be lost to her. She could not hope for what could not be, no matter how badly she wanted it. They were partners, bonded together through the Force and by a pledge to aid one another as best they could. She would honor her part of their agreement to the best of her ability, offering what help she could, and learning as much from him as he would willingly offer. 

That could be good enough for her. 

It would have to be. 


	33. The Things Desired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gives Rey a glimpse inside his mind  
> Milané gives Ben a piece of her mind  
> and Irydisa Ren gets a one (un)lucky commander outside his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned, there is a brief scene of smut toward the end of the chapter. If you are too young, or not interested, please skip past the final third of the chapter (marked by the line). A summary will be provided at the end.

Rey stayed tucked in the engineering hold for the remainder of their time in hyperspace, leaving Ben with little to do but pace himself into a frenzy, simmering in his silent fury as he debated trying to reach out to her again.

He had so many things he wanted to talk about with her, and the closer they came to Naboo, the more urgent certain matters became. Yet he could bring himself to go to her. She’d fled from him the moment the opportunity presented itself, and while she’d sealed her mind from him through the bond, the muddled jumble of confusing emotions she was experiencing ran through him like a knife.

She could never love him. He knew that like he knew the kyber crystal in his lightsaber. To hope otherwise was futile. Especially now. It was one thing when they were on Endor, where he was but a prisoner, beholden to her kindness. Had they remained there his hope would’ve grown.

Now they were entering his territory, enemy territory, where the roles would be reversed and the kindness she’d shown him could not be returned. She would hate the person he had to become, the things he needed to do. He told himself that some part of her must’ve known that before she’d decided to do this. She couldn’t expect that he could change everything overnight. But he couldn’t shake the lingering fear that she was expecting more of him than he would be able to give.

He wasn’t the same man he’d been when he left for Naboo mere days ago. He didn’t want to same things anymore. But he had to become that man again if he was to convincingly return to his role as Supreme Leader. He had to bury Ben Solo behind Kylo Ren. It was the only way to accomplish his goals, the only way to ensure her safety.

And her safety was his primary concern at the moment. Getting her onto the Finalizer in one piece would be no simple task, nor would convincing Hux and the rest of the First Order leadership that his sudden radio silence and mission to apprehend her did not mean that she needed to die. They’d want to make a spectacle out of her execution, of that he was certain, and that could not happen.

He’d worked his way through every possible argument he could make for keeping her alive. None would be totally convincing, but there were options. Options that would only work if they were totally in sync, however.

At the moment, they were anything but.

It wasn’t until Chewie came in to say that they would be arriving in little under an hour that he forced himself out of the lounge, knowing that he couldn’t hold off any longer.

He approached the door anxiously, sensing her conflicting swirl of emotion from within. Rubbing the back of his neck and sucking down a deep inhale, he tentatively raised his hand to knock.

Before he could even lay down a fist, the door slide open and Rey tumbled into his chest.

“Oh!” She yelped, stepping back to reveal disheveled hair and a deep flush. “Sorry!”

“No, I, um..” He stammered, “We-we’ll be there soon.”

“Oh.” She replied, eyes not meeting his as she fidgeted awkwardly. “I should.. uh.. go get ready then.”

She maneuvered around him, brushing lightly against his chest as she slid toward the lounge.

He followed, calling after her as he entered the space. “I was actually hoping to talk to you.”

“Okay.” She replied, distracting herself by sorting through the minimal belongings inside the bag she had tucked in the corner of the lounge. “What do you want to talk about?”

He steeled himself into his role as Supreme Leader, taking on a tone of authority as he led them into the storm.

“Our plan.” He started, “I want to make sure you’re aware of the role you have to play.”

She stopped rummaging through her bag and straightened. “Role?”

“Yes.” He replied, sensing the abrupt shift in her emotions. “The First Order leadership will want you publicly executed as a show of strength.” Rey flinched and he moved in closer. “I will not allow that to happen, but in order to ensure your safety, I will need to convince them that you can be turned.”

“Turned?” She glared at him, betrayal lacing her words. “I didn’t come with you so that you would turn me into one of your…”

“I will not try and turn you Rey.” He insisted, pressing the truth of his words through the bond as he moved in closer. She was standing before him now, neck craned up to meet his eyes with steely determination. He felt his facade fade away almost instantaneously, his voice dropping low as he looked down from her gaze. “I simply need them to believe that you can be. You must convince them that you are being held against your will. If anyone suspects that you mean something to me, they will use that to their advantage.”

Rey’s glare softened slightly as she mulled over his words. Then something clicked, and her eyes shot up to meet his. “Do I?”

“What?” He was genuinely shocked by the question. Was it possible that she did not know? He was not so good at hiding his emotions that she wouldn’t have sensed something. She was too attached to his mind, his signature.

“Do I… mean something to you?”

He looked up to find her eyes wide, her head tilted to the side as if she was studying him. He took her in, suddenly possessed to reveal himself before her. He swallowed, unable to look away from her as he whispered his confession. “You know that you do.”

The ship jerked out of hyperspace a moment later, causing both of them to topple back into the nearest solid object. Rey immediately drew herself up against the window, staring out at the planet below.

“What is it like?” She asked, turning back to him as she pointed down, swiftly maneuvering their conversation into safer territory.

“Naboo?” He replied, walking to stand behind her. She nodded as she turned back to press her forehead against the glass.

He admired her for a moment, hair still disheveled from whatever she’d been doing in the engineering compartment and eyes wide with wonder. For a woman so strong and self-possessed, she was remarkably child-like sometimes. He never expected to find such attributes attractive, but now, looking at her in all her ragged glory, he couldn’t imagine a more appealing sight.

“Beautiful.” He replied after a moment, not even sparing a glance to the planet below.

“Hmmm.” She hummed, “I wish we could stay longer.”

_So do I._

“You know,” She murmured, face still pressed against the window. “I never asked you what you found here.” She turned then, looking up at him expectantly.

He moved to lounger, sitting down beside her. He felt her eyes on him as he moved, but he glued his to the bright blues and greens of the planet they approached from above. The closer they drew to Naboo, the farther from her he was destined to grow. That knowledge did little to deter him, desiring nothing more than to bare his soul to her before she inevitably shut him out again.  

“Would you let me show you?” He whispered, turning to her slowly and offering his hand. It was ungloved for the time being. That would change the moment they touched ground. This could be his last gift to her. The final piece of Ben Solo he would be able to give before becoming Kylo Ren once again.

She looked down at his hand and then quickly up to meet his gaze. If she was surprised by his offer, she did not show it, raising her hand to meet his, much as they had in the hut on Ahch-To. Unlike their first encounter where they’d merely brushed fingertips, this time she reached further, wrapping her small hand around his wrist, grabbing hold and letting him suck her down into the abyss of his memories.

He showed her everything, from the portrait in the palace to the diary entries he’d poured over all night. He pulled her down into the visions Anakin had shown him, replaying even the hardest to watch, willing her to understand what he now knew to be true. He’d become the very monster his grandmother and his namesake had begged his grandfather not to become. Then he showed her his grandfather’s final words, the ones that told him to discover his true desire and act on that instead. The fateful plea Anakin issued for the last of his blood not to follow him down any further, but to change. 

He still had a choice, a chance. 

He let go of her slowly, fading out of his memories and back into the ships lounge, his eyes focusing on her in an attempt to gauge her reaction.

When she came to again, her mouth fell open, eyes piercing him with newfound understanding. They stared at each other for a long time. There were no words that could be offered, nothing that could properly express all the things he’d just revealed to her. She’d know now that he had chosen forge a different path for himself.  

He’d made that choice when he’d warned her about the attack. He’d made it when he left Bespin with his mother in his arms, fighting against the First Order from inside his father’s beloved ship. He’d made it when he’d spoken to Leia, confessing his regret, his agony, his love for her. He’d made it when he’d refrained from killing the traitorous stormtrooper that Rey loved, because he loved her too much to hurt her again. He’d made it when he’d insisted they go to Leia before leaving, asking for her help to build the galaxy anew, allying with the enemy for a greater cause.

He was making it now, by vowing to protect the woman he loved, not only against the First Order, but against himself. He would not try to turn her, or change her in any way. She wasn’t his to turn. She was the bright light on the horizon, pulling him toward the center where he always belonged. He had no idea if it would ever be enough. He suspected it likely wouldn’t be. But in the end, he would have tried. He would’ve made his choice, knowing that it was what _he_ wanted, not what was expected of him.

That could be enough.

It would have to be.

The ship landed with a soft thud, stirring them from their daze. Chewie entered the lounge then, informing them that he had landed in a hangar on the outskirts of the capital city. Ben stood and offered her his hand, pulling her up to face him.

The safety of the moment was over, danger facing them down with newfound fervor. Whatever happened next was in his hands. Her life, and by extension his, hung in the balance, determined only by his ability to bend his subordinates to his will.

“Do you trust me?”

He was met with a fiery determination the likes of which he’d never seen. She took his hand one last time, squeezing it tightly as she summoned her bag from the corner, throwing it over her shoulder and steeling herself for their mission.

“I do.” Her words pierced him as she flooded the bond with resolute trust.

He nodded once before lifting his hand, wrapping around her signature in the Force and pulling her mind blank. As she fell limp, he reached down and lifted her up the same way he had in the forest on Takodana, pulling her tightly against him.

Chewie groaned as Ben walked past, warning him of the endless threats against his person if he let anything happen to the woman he cradled in his arms. 

“I'll keep her safe” He replied, stopping just beside the Wookie and meeting his eyes dead on. “Thank you, Chewie.”

The Wookie begrudgingly issued his acceptance and reached up, messing up Ben’s hair just as he used to when Ben was a child. He understood the gesture to mean that he trusted him too, and it was all Ben could do to nod as he hurried out of the ship and into the hangar, forcing himself not to examine the pang in his chest that festered each time someone he’d wronged showed him the compassion and trust he still knew he didn’t deserve.  

___________________________

Rey came to inside what must’ve been a hangar, based on the number of slick, shiny ships that lined the path. Strong hands gripped her tightly as their owner’s voice echoed through her mind.

_It’s okay. I’ve got you._

Her feet hit the ground as he set her down and gripped her arm tightly, dragging her forward toward a troop of waiting stormtroopers. Flanking the familiar white and black soldiers was another group whose attire she did not recognize. At the front of the group was a young woman, her face painted white and her hair tied back in the most elaborate headpiece Rey had ever seen. Her dress was long, thick, and purple, a complement to the purple paint that stripped her bottom lip.

 _That is the Queen._ He explained silently. _Milané. She is a Force sensitive._

Rey’s head shot around to look up at him, brow furrowed as she took in this new information, still not entirely awake following her Force induced sleep.

 _Try not to look at me like that._ His voice was teasing, even inside her head. _You’re supposed to be angry and feral, remember?_

Rey scoffed in honest frustration, noting that her wrists were now heavy with the weight of stuncuffs. She pulled up, trying to fight her way out of his grip, but it was no use. He held her firm, dragging her closer to the delegation that awaited them.

“Supreme Leader.” The woman Ben had identified as the Queen stepped forward, her contingent following closely behind. “What is the meaning of this?

“Your majesty.” Ben stopped before her, his voice light and full of false pleasantry. “I apologize for my sudden, unexpected absence. I discovered that a wanted fugitive was hiding out near Ooth Gunga, and I left to apprehend her.”

The Queen glared at him with a mix of suspicion and dismay. She was young, younger than even Rey was, but she was fierce and unafraid. Rey liked her immediately.

_I knew you would._

Two stormtroopers approached then, and Ben pushed her toward them. “Take her onboard.” He issued dispassionately. “And alert my Knights that I have apprehended the last Jedi.”

The Queen stepped forward again, her voice low and accusing. “What do you intend to do with this innocent woman?”

“Innocent?” Ben questioned. “She is hardly innocent, your majesty.”

Rey tapped into his mind as she was dragged away, refusing to miss out on the conversation he was having with this Force sensitive queen.

“I thought you were looking for information regarding Queen Amidala.” The Queen hissed at him. “I would not have given you access to my private archives if I’d known that this was your intention.”

Ben rested his arms behind his back, turning and watching as the stormtroopers dragged her away. She knew he sensed her listening through him, but he seemed not to mind, only opening himself up even more.

“Tell me, your majesty.” His voice dropped low so that only she could hear. “What do you sense from her?”

“Sense from her?” The queen turned to him, accusing.

“In the Force.” Ben remained perfectly calm, but she sensed his amusement simmering below the surface. He was teaching her, whether she wanted him to or not. Rey knew that feeling all too well.

The Queen turned, her eyes fastening on Rey as she walked. Rey felt the shift in the Force around her as the young woman reached out to read her signature. She projected a sense of determination and calm, even if she outwardly fought her captors, understanding what Ben was trying to accomplish with his question.

Surprised by what she found, the Queen turned and looked up at him, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Do you sense any fear? Anger or dismay?” He intoned beside her, not meeting her questioning glare.

“No.” She replied, clearly shaken by her discovery. “None at all...”

“Perhaps,” Ben leaned down to the side, whispering into the girl’s ear. “There is more here than meets the eye.” He pulled back and looked down then, smirking at the confused expression that painted the queen’s face. “Thank you again for your hospitality, your majesty. I hope we will see you again soon.”

He bent low in a bow, a sign of respect that he did not owe her, then pulled back and stepped briskly toward the ship, just as the stormtroopers dragged Rey completely inside, leaving the flustered young queen behind.

 _What was that about?_ She questioned as she was thrown into a holding cell aboard the ship, grimacing at the troopers as they slammed the door shut on her.

 _She will be a valuable ally one day._ He answered. _She just doesn’t know it yet._

Rey felt the ship lift off, shifting her off balance and into the wall of the cargo hold.

 _Try and get some sleep._ Ben urged before closing her off from his mind. _The worst is still ahead of us._

As he slipped away, she slid down the wall, her head falling back against it with a thud. She _was_ tired, although she had no reason to be. It was less a physical exhaustion than it was mental. The memories Ben revealed to her floated through her mind, drowning her with newfound understanding.

He was the grandson of Darth Vader, but that was not all he was. It was not all he _could_ be. And he was choosing now to be something else. What that something else was, she couldn’t quite be sure, only that Anakin Skywalker’s final words had resonated with him. He’d pulled her away before revealing his final truth: what it was that he wanted.

Was it forgiveness? Was it family?

No - he wasn’t seeking that. He’d denied those things for too long, begging her to do the same.  He may gain forgiveness, he may recover the broken remnants that remained of his once powerful family, but those were merely byproducts of his urge to do something else. 

She would ask him, she decided, next time they were alone. In the meantime, she would follow his advice. It would do little good to dwell on answers she could not find alone in the cold dark hold. There was much more to fear from those she would face when she escaped it. Determined to be ready for whatever they would face, she closed her eyes and drifted, grateful for the years she'd spent sleeping in far less comfortable conditions, as her body took its rest. 

__________________________________

The sound of bare bodies flopping messily against one another filled the room. His grunts came faster as she raked her fingers down his back. His bites at her shoulder bringing both pain and pleasure, prompting her to grind her hips up and into his, ripping at his hair as his cock bottomed out inside of her.

“Yes!” She moaned, “More. Yes. Right there!”

His face contorted in ecstasy as his spend filled her, a low groan issuing from his lips, his forehead dripping with sweat as it dropped against her, breath hot and chest heaving.

It was convenient, really, that her comms unit would light up the moment she no longer wanted this wayward commander on top of her. Pushing him to the side, his body still shaking in the pleasure of his afterglow, she rose from the bed, hips swaying as she crossed the room and clicked open the signal.

“Irydisa.” The face of Tizo Ren appeared before her, his mask hiding the roving eyes she knew lay beneath. He was skilled at masking his emotions, she'd give him that. But he couldn't hide the way his breath caught before he refocused on the task at hand. It amused her, the way her fellow knights had always lusted after her but denied themselves the pleasures she would've gladly given. “We have communication from the Supreme Leader. He is returning as we speak. And there is more.”

“More?” She played with her long talon-like nails as he continued. "What more could he possibly have to report, if not his location these last few days."

“He has the Jedi girl with him.”

She did her best to hide her surprise, but she knew her eyes had betrayed her for the briefest moment. It had been her desire to go after the scavenger whore. To bring her before her master as a gift, a sign of her devotion to him. She supposed it mattered not, though. He would return to them, to her, in mere hours now, their greatest enemy in their grasp at last. He would be happy, not doubt, riled up with pride. Men were at their most primal following a victory. It was how she liked them best. He would return to her in an ideal state, providing her with the perfect opportunity to show her devotion in other, more sensuous ways. 

“I will meet you in the throne room shortly.” She answered, her mind spinning through all the possibilities. She clicked off the transmission and turned to face the commander she’d left naked on his bed.

“The Supreme Leader, eh?” The man smiled wistfully, throwing his hands behind his head in arrogance. “If he’s coming from Naboo, we still have a few more hours. Come back to bed, baby. Let me have another go at you.”

Irydisa sneered as she sauntered to the edge of the bed and grabbed for her silk black robe, letting it fall loose on her shoulders as she raised her hand toward him lazily.

“You will forget I was ever here.”

The commander sat up on his elbows, smiling arrogantly as she walked toward the door.

“Forget a slippery little minx like you? I don’t think so baby.”

She stopped, sighing in annoyance. She’d never had any trouble mind tricking the weak minded fools that filled the First Order’s lower ranks, particularly after she’d so thoroughly finished with them. Tizo’s interruption appeared to have given this one enough time to come to. How disappointing. He had been a good lay, well endowed where it counted. She might’ve returned to this one, in different circumstances. 

“Oh darling,” She purred as she raised her hand, turning back toward him and wrapping the force around the man’s bruise covered throat “Did they never tell you? The first lesson in pleasuring a woman is always to _obey_.”

Her hand twisted with a loud crack as his head swiveled, neck breaking immediately. She smirked as she stared down at the limp body she’d used for her own pleasure mere minutes before.

“Pity.” She tisked, tying her robe closed as she departed the man’s quarters. It mattered little that she’d disposed of the first decent lover she’d found on this ship. She did not need other lovers anymore. Her master was returning to her at long last.

She would never need another man again.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you skipped it & want a summary, Irydisa was getting a little friendly with a First Order Commander when she received word from Tizo Ren that Supreme Leader was returning to the Finalizer, last Jedi in tow. She attempts to mind trick her lover into forgetting about their rendezvous, but he resists and she snaps his neck, leaving him dead in his quarters. 
> 
> For those of you who are worried about where this story line is headed, fret not. Ben has eyes for one woman, and one woman only. Hint: her name does not start with I (or L). 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and for your wonderful comments. You keep me going! Happy Reylo-ing :)


	34. The Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chewie sets off on a mission.  
> Leia reveals the news to the Resistance.  
> Hux about loses his mind at Kylo Ren.  
> And Iridysa Ren's play for her master's heart doesn't go quite as she'd hoped.

Chewie watched from the cockpit of the ship as Ben carried Rey through the hangar and out into the streets of Theed. The image was familiar to him, having watched him carry her away once before. Yet there was something about the way he held her now that was different. It was tender, protective.

Traits he knew Ben inherited from his father, no matter how he may try to deny it. The longer he was around her, the more Ben Solo showed himself to be Han Solo’s son. And the more Ben Solo showed himself to be his father’s son, the more certain Chewie was that he could trust him with Rey.

Sure, Han hadn’t always been the most charming when it came to the Princess, goading her constantly and grinding her gears as much as possible. But the moment she stopped looking, he was bending over backwards to make sure she was safe. He fought for her, killed for her, and pined after her in his roguish way. In the end, he even died for her, for their family.

And that sacrifice hadn’t been in vain. It hadn’t happened overnight, but watching Ben with Rey these past few days, the truth became increasingly clear. Ben Solo wasn’t dead, he was merely lost, and he had to take a few regrettable detours to find his way back home.

Chewie was willing to accept that now.

They hadn’t given him a full rundown of their plans, nor had he asked for one. He’d agreed to do this for Rey, because he’d grown to love the girl, and because she asked him to. But he knew, deep in his heart that this was as much for the boy whose father had been his very best friend as it was for her. He was doing it so that boy wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. He’d have Rey, the one person who came with no strings attached.

For as much as Chewie cared for her, his devotion to Ben Solo ran far deeper.

Not that he’d ever admit that, of course.

The moment the dark mass moved out of his line of sight, he turned toward the communications unit, punching in Leia Organa’s private signal.

“Chewie?” Her face appeared, blue and glowing before him. “Did you make it?”

“Rrrrgh” he nodded in affirmation.

“Good, good.” She nodded back, her anxiety showing plainly as she looked around nervously. “Make that Takodana run quick, Chewie. I’m going to need all the help I can get with this one.”

He growled in agreement and began prepping the ship for take-off again. He knew better than most that Leia Organa could hold her own against the worst of them, but she’d be on her own when the sun rose on Endor, the fallout of their decision to let Ben and Rey go coming down squarely on her.

He didn’t envy her for that conversation.

He didn’t envy her one bit.

Which was why he was heading back to Takodana, to grab not only a shipment of supplies, but also his favorite pirate witch. For if there was one other person in the galaxy who could believe that Ben Solo may not be dead afterall, it was Maz Kanata.

And so, without further hesitation, Chewie lifted off from the floor of the hangar, slipped out into Naboo’s bright blue atmosphere, and punched the hyperdrive, speeding away from Rey and Ben with more than the slightest hope that he would get to see them again.

 

__________________________

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Leia was seated inside the lounge of the Falcon watching Poe Dameron pace the floor. Lando sat beside her, along with D’Arcy.

She’d chosen the Falcon because of the privacy, hoping to avoid another showdown like Rey and Poe’s last spat. They couldn’t risk rumors spreading, although, in reality, the rumors could hardly be crazier than the truth.

“You let them go.” Poe shook his head in disbelief as he stalked across the grated floor. “You _actually_ let them go. We had the most valuable prisoner IN THE GALAXY. The very man we’ve been trying to take down for YEARS, and you LET. HIM. GO.”

“Poe…” She began, only to be cut off immediately.

“I get that he’s your son Leia. Really, I do. But that is EXACTLY why you should have known better than to make this call!”

“Poe…”

“What the hell are we going to tell everyone now? Huh? Not only did Kylo Ren just return to the First Order fleet armed with the knowledge of our location, but he took Rey with him! Rey. Our beacon of light and hope. And YOU let her go!” He stopped pacing to point aggressively at her. “So now we have to wake everyone up and get off this planet, just as we were finally getting a minute to breathe…

Leia sighed deeply as Poe started up his pacing again, deciding it was best to simply let her commander get it all out of his system before attempting to interject again.

“... we go next anyway? You got any other secret rebellion strongholds that the First Order doesn’t know about up your sleeve? Or does _your son_ know about all of those too? How did they even find out about Bespin? Hmmm?”

Sensing an opportunity, Leia spoke up again. “Poe, I will explain everything to you, if you’ll just give me a momen-”

“I DON’T WANT AN EXPLANATION!” He exploded, turning and throwing his arms up in frustration. “I _want_ this all to be a bad dream! I _want_ to wake up and walk down the halls of that bunker and find Kylo Ren chained up in the cell I stuck him in. I _want_ to go to my hut and see Rey fast asleep on her mat. I _want_ to not have to tell everyone, including the Ewoks that have been gracious enough to host us, that we are all _doomed_ if we stay here.”

“Poe.” This time it was Lando’s smooth tenor that interrupted Poe’s diatribe. “Hear her out for a second.”

For all the times Lando had been overly flirtatious with her throughout the years, all the times she’d watched Han throw a glare his way or rejected his advances out right, in that moment she would have kissed him. Instead she gave him a grateful nod in thanks and stood up to face Poe.

“Poe, I understand why-”

“Rey?!” Finn’s voice echoed down the corridor of the Falcon.“Rey are you.. Oh!” He startled as he entered the lounge, his friend Rose bumping into his back at his sudden stop. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything. We were just looking for Rey. Thought she might be here.”

Leia sighed and gestured for them to enter. “No, she’s not. But you might as well come in. You’ll want to hear this too.”

Finn and Rose entered tentatively, their heads swiveling as they tried to take in the various facial expressions of the Resistance leadership they’d stumbled upon.

“So.” Leia started, shifting everyone’s focus back to her. “Finn, Rose, I’m telling you this because you are Rey’s friends, and you deserve to know the truth. I expect that you understand the need to keep what is discussed here between us.”

Rose nodded eagerly as Finn replied, “Of course, General.”

“Good, because you’re not going to like what you’re about to hear.”

Finn gulped visibly and took a seat at the edge of the lounge chair, where Rose had silently fallen down into Leia’s spot.

“Rey left tonight, along with my son, for Naboo. Chewbacca dropped them off safely in the capital of Theed, where Kylo Ren was last seen. He will be taking her back to the First Order as a prisoner.”

“WHAT!” Finn leapt up in a fury.

“Yeah, my thoughts too, buddy.” Poe growled.

“Damn it!” Finn cried out, smacking his hand against his face. “I expected her to at least say goodbye!”

“Wait, what?” Poe spit out.

Finn let out an exasperated scoff. “I talked to her after your argument.” He threw up a lazy hand in Poe’s direction. “She thought that working with him was the best way to end the war. And I, _stupidly_ , told her I thought she was right.”

“Finn!” Rose exclaimed as Poe rushed over to him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

“Why in the name of the Force would you tell her that!?”

“Because he’s in love with her!”

It was Finn who said the words, and with them came the gasps of every person in the lounge.

“No…” Poe turned quickly, as every set of eyes fell upon Leia. “He’s not. Tell me he’s not.”

Leia sighed, wrapped her hands together, and stared down the room. “You’re all going to want to sit down for this.”

 

___________________________

If there was one thing Armitage Hux hated more than bowing down to Kylo Ren, it was being left in the dark, so to say that he was furious would’ve been an understatement.

He had not been alerted to the impending return of the Supreme Leader until the shuttle had already exited hyperspace outside of the Finalizer, giving him next to no time to eliminate any evidence of the plans he’d been concocting in his absence.

“Supreme Leader.” He bowed as Kylo Ren glided down the gangplank.

“General Hux.”

“Your _trip_ took longer than expected.”

“And proved far more fruitful as a result.”

Hux met Ren’s watchful eyes, unable to keep the sneer off his face. “You have the Jedi bitch then?”

His question was answered when she appeared at the top of the gangplank a moment later,  flanked by stormtroopers and bound in stuncuffs. He scoffed at the sight of her, still dressed like the desert rat she was, her hair unkempt and her clothing tattered.

“I do.” Ren replied coldly, as a familiar invisible hand brushed lightly against Hux’s throat.

The scavenger was pushed down the gangplank until she stood before him, shoving her shoulders back in defiance. His lips curled up in a sneer as he grabbed the girls chin, yanking in up so she was forced to look at him. Her jaw jutted up and her eyes blazed bright in anger as he held her there below him. “Still a feral thing, aren’t you?”

Her attempt to shake herself out of her captors hands was futile, and he couldn’t help but laugh mirthlessly.

“Whatever will the Resistance do without their precious Jedi, hmmm? There are only so many places they can hide. And even then, we _will_ find them. And then, well… My men are far less _accommodating_ than our benevolent Leader.”

The look she gave him was one of pure, unadulterated hatred, and he smiled down on her before pushing her away, gesturing with the swat of a hand that she was to be removed from his sight.

The girl took one last look behind her, eyes set upon Kylo Ren before whipping her head back and allowing the stormtroopers to lead her away.

Ren moved to follow, and Hux fell in stride beside him as he wiped his hand on his jacket.

“I look forward to broadcasting her execution across the galaxy, a message to those would dare to question our rule.”

“There will be no execution, General.”

Hux stopped on the spot. “ _What!_ ”

Ren did not stop. “Once I have extracted the information we need, she will be turned, made into an ally.”

“Have you lost your mind?” Hux nearly yelled, approaching Ren in a fury. “That scavenger killed the Supreme Leader!”

Ren stopped then, turning back to face him directly. “She is not to be touched. She is too valuable.” He said slowly, each word laced with venom. “Far more valuable than you could dream of being, particularly after the stunt you pulled on Bespin.”

Hux stood there gaping, his anger threatening to consume him as the slightest hint of a smirk teased the corner of Ren’s mouth.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out, General?” Ren continued, moving closer to stare him down. “You are lucky that I still see a need to keep you alive for the time being. But rest assured, if you disobey my direct orders again, it will be your execution that is broadcast galaxy-wide.”

Ren turned then, leaving Hux huffing in his wake. After a moment, he came to his senses and stormed from the hangar, ripping his commlink from his side.

“Commander Jauron.”

“Yes sir?” The Commander answered instantaneously.

“Contact Captain Kelser and the rest of Ren’s crew. I want a report on Operation Scavenger. _Now_.”

“Yes sir, of course sir.” Jauron nodded aggressively. “I will bring them to conference room 08FE immediately.”

Hux stormed down the hallway to the nearest service elevator and punched in his code for the executive floor. Ren was a loose cannon, a rabid dog let off his leash. And he was hiding something, of that Hux was absolutely certain. If the girl was not to be killed, then she would serve as a distraction. One that would be invaluable for the rapid onslaught of his plans.

Kylo Ren’s days as Supreme Leader were numbered. A new dawn was approaching for the galaxy, and soon, Armitage Hux would be leading the charge.

 

______________________________________________

The room was silent but for the mechanical hum of recycled air pouring in through the vents. The three Knights of Ren were kneeling in waiting, no one more anxious than she.

She’d felt the Force shift perceptibly the moment the shuttle landed, his powerful signature still so familiar, even after all these years.

But his signature was not the only one that burned brightly in the Force.

They’d been told that he was bringing the Jedi girl back with him, but no prior warning could’ve prepared them for the power she emitted.

The door flew open then, and all three knights dropped their heads to the floor in respect for their master.

“Tizo, Vizan, Iridysa.” The deep voice that called to them was shockingly human, no longer distorted by the mask he’d worn since creating their order. “Rise.”

They stood as Kylo Ren took his place on the throne before them, giving her the first glimpse at his face. He had aged in the years since she’d last seen him unmasked, a new scar tracing down his cheek and falling below his collar. Yet she found the scar only added to his allure. He was a warrior, and no true warrior was without the marks of their battles.

“Welcome home Master.” Iridysa said, daring to look up at him. His expression was stoic, revealing no emotion whatsoever. It was a far cry from the boy she’d once known, whose heart he wore plainly on his face.

“The same can be said to you Iridysa, Vizan. It has been a long time.” Kylo’s voice gave way to a hint of relief, but barely so. “You return now to a new Order. This will not be the First Order that Snoke built. It will not be the return of the Empire. We will build a new galaxy. One that will stand the test of time, and will take care of its people.”

Kylo Ren stood then, draping his arms behind his back and pacing before them. “I realize that the loyalty you have shown me through the years may have wavered during your absence. So I ask you now: Will you stand with me? Will you help me rat out those who would stand in the way of progress?” He paused momentarily, looking down on them. “If not, I will allow you to leave unharmed as a thanks for your years of service. But let me make myself clear: if you choose to stay, I expect your unquestioning support. If you betray me, you will receive no such mercy again.”

“Of course, Master.”

“Yes.”

“You have my undying loyalty”

Kylo straightened as the knights voiced their replies as one. “Good. Then your mission is clear. I need eyes on General Hux, and all those who are loyal to him. He will be the first to get in our way, and we must prevent it. You will report to me daily with any updates. Do you have any questions?”

“What of the Jedi, Master?” Tizo spoke, his flat voice unable to hid the tinge of fear. “She is here. I can feel her.”

“She is.” Kylo nodded. “And she is of no concern to you.”

“Master?” This time she looked up, questioning him.

“I have plans for her.” Kylo intoned. “Your only concern regarding the girl is that she is left alone. If Hux so much as thinks about going to her, I want to know about it.”

“As you wish, Master.” Tizo and Vizan bowed together and turned to leave, but she remained, looking up him with determination brimming brightly in her eyes.

He waited until Vizan and Tizo were out of earshot before moving toward her. “Bold of you to stay Iridysa.”

“Have you known me to be anything but?”

He turned to her suddenly, his eyes aglow with memories of a past life. “I have. You were not always this way.”

“You were once someone else too.” She nodded. “Much has changed in your absence, Master. It has been a long time since I last saw you. Too long.” She took a step closer, leaving mere inches between them as her eyes roved over his human face. “But I assure you, my loyalty to you is as unquestionable as ever.”

He looked away then, gesturing for her to following him out of the chamber. “I have never questioned your loyalty Iridysa.”

“But do you know the _depth_ of my devotion?”

He stopped, turning to her with suspicion in his eyes. She took the opportunity to move closer once again, dragging her hands up his chest as her gaze fell upon his supple lips. Her mind had done him no justice. His raw ferocity was so much greater in the flesh.

“I would do anything for you, Master.” Her voice was low and seductive as her hands roved boldly up his chest, wrapping themselves on his shoulders as she pressed herself against his body. “Anything at all. Just say the word.”

He stood still for a moment, seeming almost shocked by her advances, as she curled her fingers into the long dark curls he’d let grow down his neck, pulling him down closer as her gaze burned passionately into his.

Then, as suddenly as the moment arrived, he stepped back, leaving her hands empty and her body cold.

“Then find out what Hux is up to.” He regained his composure with stunning efficiency, brushing his chest as if to remove all traces of her. “If there is one knight that I trust to do so, it is you.”

And with that he turned and marched from the chamber, leaving Iridysa alone in her shock.

She’d had him in her arms, so close. She could feel the passion burning inside of him, she could see it in his eyes. Yet he denied it, just as he had all those years before.

It enraged her.

He was the Supreme Leader now. He had no one to stop him from taking what he wanted but himself.

But, she supposed, old habits must die hard. She needed to be patient, give him time to adjust to his new role, his new freedom. In time, he would open up to her, just as he had all those years ago. It was only a matter of time. She’d waited for years for him to return to her. She could wait a little longer for him to see her as a woman.

And then she would make him her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, for those of you still reading this story of mine, I am sorry for the long delay. Life got away from me, and while 2/3 of this was written three weeks ago, the last bit continued to elude me. 
> 
> But rest assured, if anyone is still invested in how this story ends, I have not abandoned you! I cannot, for I have written a large chunk of the epilogue material and I love it too much not to get us there. 
> 
> Thanks for your comments, support, and patience, as always. And I look forward to any and all thoughts and feedback you have!
> 
> Happy Relyoing :)


	35. The Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe tells Leia about his vision  
> Rey has an unexpected visitor  
> & Ben finally shows up.

The morning dew had settled on the leaves, leaving the rope damp and heavy as Poe climbed back up to the tree house village with Leia’s words still fresh in his mind.

Ren was in love with Rey. And she’d gone with him voluntarily, with promises of a new galaxy, one that Leia, and in turn the rest of the Resistance, may actually have a chance to help building.

It was way too good to be true. So much so that he couldn’t believe he was even entertaining it as more than a flicker of hope in the back of his mind. And yet...

He’d discarded the dream he’d seen in the cave with Rey as a strange sort of fiction, unable to process it as anything but a dream. But now it kept playing in his head, over and over again like a broken holorecord.

The little girl with chocolate brown eyes. The eyes of her father, and his mother before him.

The look of pure love and adoration Rey bestowed upon that man as he’d wrapped his arm around her protectively, smiling at the little girl like she was the most perfect creation in the galaxy.

The casual way that Finn and Rose, and even he, had talked to the man. It was like he was a friend, or at the very least, an acquaintance they had no reason to fear.

And then there were his mother’s words, seemingly unimportant in the moment, but now more crucial than ever.

_“There are many paths forward and none of them will be easy.” She’d said. “But you must keep an open mind.”_

Keep an open mind…

There was only one reason he would’ve been shown such a private and intimate scene between two others in his dreams. It was to help him to do just that. For the only way he would ever be able to believe such a future was possible, was if he saw it with his own eyes.

And now he was expected to act on it. He was expected to be okay with Rey running off with the man Leia was now calling Ben Solo. He was expected to trust that man not to hunt them down and kill them, and to actually work with the mother he’d abandoned to rebuild the galaxy anew.

He knew that if he hadn’t seen that beautiful little girl, if he hadn’t felt the love that he did for her, despite her parentage, that he would not be able to do this. But he _had_ seen the girl. He _had_ felt the love that not only he had for her, but that Ben Solo so clearly felt for both her and Rey. And who was he to try and stop that little girl in his dream from someday becoming a reality?

“Poe?”

Leia’s voice stirred him from his thoughts, and he realized he’d been staring straight ahead into the unknowns of the forest below for what must’ve been an unusually long time. He turned to her, sighing deeply as she came to stand beside him at the edge of the bridge.

“Would it be too on the nose to suggest you have something on your mind?”

He scoffed, turning away from her and shaking his head. Her hand came to rest gently on his arm after a moment, forcing his gaze back to hers.

“It’s a lot.” She said simply. “I know it is. But I wanted to thank you for at least hearing me out.”

He looked down. “I wouldn’t have. You know I wouldn’t have.”

“Yes, I do.” She agreed. “So what changed your mind?”

He looked back out into the forest, unable to keep the face of the little girl from the forefront of his mind.

“I had a dream, when we were in the cave on Ilum. I… I saw something I didn’t expect to. And it didn’t make any sense to me at the time. But it’s all starting to piece together now.” He turned to her then, watching as her expression morphed from understanding to curiosity. “I saw a little girl. Rey’s little girl. And…” He paused, swallowing hard as Leia watched him, gently rubbing his arm in encouragement. “And your son’s. I saw their daughter.”

Leia’s hand froze. “How... how do you know?”

“She referred to them as her mom and dad. And gods, if she didn’t look like the spitting image of the two of them. It was… I don’t know Leia. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful. And they looked so happy.” He shook his head, stepping away from her and turning his back. “I didn’t know he was your son at the time, but Finn said something in the dream. It all seemed like mumbo jumbo. I didn’t pay much attention. But then he shows up here, and I find out that he _is_ your long lost son. And now you and Finn are telling me that he loves Rey. And I gotta say Leia, the man in my dream, he was in love with her. No doubt in my mind about that.”

He turned back to find Leia standing there in stunned silence. He moved toward her slowly, his frustration slipping away as the weight of his revelation dawned on him.

“If I hadn’t seen that dream, I wouldn’t accept this. But I did. And now I can’t unsee it.”

Leia’s eyes were glazed over, staring through his chest as if she were somewhere else entirely. He stood patiently for a moment, waiting for her to come back to him. When she finally did, her eyes slowly traced up to meet his, tears glimmering in the corners as her jaw hardened with a nod.

“It was only a dream Poe. No doubt a beautiful one, but still, just a dream. I want to trust my son, and I will give him the benefit of the doubt where I can, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are no longer safe here.”

Poe nodded in agreement as he watched her morph back into the Resistance General before his eyes. “What’s our next move General?”

 

___________________________________________

 

Time was an abstract concept within the four walls of her cold, sterile cell. In some ways, it felt like she’d be tossed unceremoniously inside mere minutes before, her arms still aching from the tight grip of the stormtroopers as they dragged her through the halls of the ship.

Her stomach told her otherwise. At least three minuscule meals had been shoved into her cell by the time she finally gave up her waiting, and the low growl now rumbling from within told her that she really needed to try and sleep.

That would be easier said than done, however. Her cell was nothing like the one she’d woke up in the first time Kylo Ren had taken her prisoner. She was free to roam about the black box, however small the space may be, and rather than a restraining device, there was a cement slab that she assumed was meant to serve as the galaxy’s most uncomfortable bed.

After pacing for what felt like hours, waiting for him to show up, she’d finally laid down, confirming her original assessment of the gray slab, and closed her eyes in an attempt calm her growing anxiety through meditation. She’d told him she trusted him, and she’d meant it. But the longer he left her here, the less certain she became.

She’d known that this wouldn’t be easy. She’d lost the opportunity to stand openly by his side when she’d reached for the lightsaber in the throne room instead of taking his hand. But she at least expected that he wouldn’t leave her abandoned and alone here for days at a time.

She’d closed her eyes and felt around the ship, observing the mechanical hum of the engines, the millions of individual signatures that made up the collective First Order workforce. She even felt _him_ , burning brightly like he always did. But he was closed off, his shields as strong as ever, like he was blocking her out with newfound purpose.

An ache was already building in her lower back and she shifted in a futile attempt to get comfortable. This was useless. There was no way she’d be able to sleep here. Not knowing he was nearby and ignoring her, or worse, betraying completely. Her eyes flew open as she let out a frustrated huff of air as she sat up, rubbing her eyes as she stretched forward toward her toes.

“Where are you?” She whispered, turning to look at the door longingly.

“You know, the first time I met Leia I was rescuing her from a cell that looked uncomfortably similar to this one.”

Rey spun around to find the blue Force ghost of Luke sitting back against the wall at the edge of her slab bed, a smirk plastered on his face as he took in their surroundings.

“Master Skywalker?” She breathed out in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, seeing how my nephew has been rather rude to his guest, I thought I’d fill in for him. Give you some company.” He turned to her with a knowing look in his eyes. “If you want it, that is.”

It was not lost on Rey that Luke Skywalker had become far more interested in after he died then he had ever been during his life. At the moment, though, she was in no position to argue with him about it, craving nothing more than answers, even if they weren’t ones he was able to provide. And so, with a resigned sigh, she moved to mimic his position against the wall, leaning back against it and continuing to glare at the silent doorway before them.

“Was I wrong to trust him?” She could already guess his answer, but the words left her anyway.

“You know Rey, if you’d asked me in the cave on Ilum I would’ve told you ‘yes, absolutely.’”

Rey turned to look at him. “But now?”

Luke met her gaze with a small smile. “I’ve seen more of the Ben Solo my sister and Han raised in the last few days than I ever did during his time with me. He’s changing. We all feel it.”

Rey tilted her head curiously. “We?”

“The other Jedi masters who have a vested interested in my nephew.” Luke looked away again. “They have been watching out for you as well.”

At this Rey furrowed her brow. “And what do these Jedi masters think?”

Luke laughed lightly, seeming to sense her shift from curiosity to defensiveness. “You have many great things ahead of you Rey. But it is not my place to tell you of them. If I do, I may prevent the future we have seen from coming into being.”

Rey shot up from the wall and standing to face him. “You’ve seen my future?”

“I’ve seen glimpses of one possible future.” He replied evenly. “But you know better than most how easy it is to misinterpret what we see.”

Rey wasn’t buying it. Not for one second. Luke was still smirking at her like he knew something she didn’t and she was tired of it. She was tired of being left in the dark about her own fate.

“Then why would you even bring it up?”

Luke shrugged, seeming to enjoy her growing frustration.

“Force, you’re as bad as he is!”

“As bad as who is?”

Rey jumped as the deep voice echoed inside the cell, followed swiftly by the sound of the door slamming shut behind him. She turned quickly to find that Luke had vanished before turning back to face him, gasping as she did so, altogether unprepared for what she found.

He was dressed in all black once again, though this time there were traces of gold and silver embroidered along the collar and edges of his sleeves. He looked less like the warrior knight she’d always known, and more like the regal leader of the galaxy he now was. His hair looked freshly washed, the waves brushed back from his face like they’d just been brushed and the shadowy beginnings of facial hair that had begun to show themselves in recent days cleared away. She found herself wishing she could run her fingers through his hair, finally confirming that it was truly as soft as it looked...

“Rey?”

The sound of his voice jerked her from her thoughts, and she turned away in embarrassment.

“No one.” She replied, knowing full well how unconvincing she sounded.

He quirked an eyebrow at her before turning to look around the small cell. He barely fit, she realized. His quaffed hair was nearly brushing against the ceiling. “Luke was here, wasn’t he?”

“Why do you suddenly care?” She snapped back, crossing her arms as the frustration she’d been feeling prior to his sudden arrival returned to her in full force. “You left me here for _days_. Maybe I just started talking to myself to fill the time.”

She could’ve sworn he nearly smiled, but it never went far enough to confirm. Instead, he turned to face her. “I left you here for one day, and I did so only by necessity.”

“Necessity?” She scoffed. “You locked me out completely. Why was _that_ necessary?”

His silence spurred her to turn her head to look at him accusingly. She was ready to demand he answer her when she noticed the way his head had fallen. He looked tired, sad even.

“Rey,” He sighed, “You had to know it would be like this.”

She turned back from him, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest. She was still angry with him, but that anger was quickly waning. She knew he was right, and if the solemn look on his face was any indication, he was also sorry.

Rey sighed, dropping her arms away from her chest and plopping herself unceremoniously on the slab. He joined her, albeit with far more grace, leaning forward with his elbows against his knees.

She turned to look at him and found that he was already looking up at her.

“Was it Luke?”

His question lacked even the slightest trace of malice, and so she answered him honestly. “Yeah, it was.”

He simply nodded and turned away, dropping his head so that he was looking at the floor.

“He said something about the Jedi masters watching over us.”

“I’m sure he did.”

“Ben…” She lifted her hand, gently resting it against his shoulder blade as she bent down to better see his face. “Are you okay?”

He jumped slightly at the contact before his eyes fell closed, the tension in his body releasing beneath her hand.

"I'm not here to burden you with the struggles of my day."

"That's too bad." She chided. "Because I'm here to listen to them."

"Rey..."

"I mean it Ben. You can talk to me." She leaned forward, her hand leaving his back and settling on his arm. "I want you to."

His brown eyes blew wide with wonder as she stared into their depths, soaking in this moment of peace as he slowly relaxed beside her. He looked down then, sighing as he shook his head.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Endor.”

Rey’s lips perked up into a small smile. “It’s been that bad, huh?”

He turned away, answering her with a small nod before sitting back, seeming to have recovered himself. Then he turned to meet her gaze, his expression stoic. “I’m supposed to be interrogating you, so we don’t have much time.”

He reached behind him, pulling out a small pack from inside his cloak and handing it to her. She pulled at the string and dumped over the sack, gasping as the Jedi texts, a thick black cloak, a notepad, and some long narrow objects she did not recognize fell onto the concrete slab before her.

“Ben!” She whispered, looking up at him in shock. "How did you... what is... I don't understand."

He looked away, running his hand over the cloak and moving it toward her awkwardly. “I… I felt bad, for leaving you here. And I know this isn’t exactly a comfortable arrangement for you.” He gestured to the slab they were sitting upon. “I hoped these might help, although now that I’m actually here...”

She reached out for his hand again, taking it in her own and squeezing gently until he finally looked up at her, his eyes wide with uncertainty.

“It’s perfect.” She smiled at him. “Thank you Ben.”

His lips fell open slightly, and she noticed his eyes fall down just below her own for the briefest moment before he nodded and stood.

“I have to go now.” The sternness of his voice did not match the softness of his eyes, but she nodded anyway. He was rebuilding his mask, the one he had to wear whenever he was not within this cell with her. She understood that now.

“When will you be back?”

“I will visit you at during the night cycle, when no one will notice my absence.” She nodded as he turned halfway to the door. Then he stopped abruptly.

“Before I…” He looked away, his discomfort palpable in the Force. “Before I open the door, I need you to scream.”

“Scream?” She questioned accusingly. “Why would I do that?”

He met her gaze as it dawned on her, her mouth falling open in a silent “oh”. He was supposed to be interrogating her. That meant he should’ve been torturing her this whole time. She needed to act the part, if they were to keep up the necessary facade.

“I, uh, yes.” She nodded. “ I can do that.”

“Good.” He replied curtly. “Whenever you're ready”

She nodded as he turned toward the door. She took one last look at his towering figure standing before her before she closed her eyes and tried to envision the worst sort of pain imaginable as she began to scream.

At first her mind took her to Jakku, but quickly it shifted to Finn, in the forest on Starkiller base. SHe lingered only for a moment before she saw Leia crumbling to the ground on Bespin.

Her screaming grew louder and more pained as her mind sprinted from image to image, all of them revolving around her friends being hurt, the fear of losing them like she’d lost everyone else.

Then, suddenly, her mind shifted.

Everything was red.

She was fighting, but she didn’t know who.

Ben was there, roaring in anger nearby.

There was blood.

And fire.

And so much pain.

Her eyes shot open as she gasped for air. He still stood there frozen, his anguish rolling off of him like molten waves before the cell door. Had he seen what she had? Had he felt the terror?

Before she could calm her breathing enough to ask, the door slid open and he all but threw himself out of the cell, leaving her alone inside her cell once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone have any guesses as to what all the gifts Ben brought her are? There's one extra special one I'm hoping you all caught on to ;)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and for commenting away. And for those of you in the U.S., Happy early Thanksgiving!


	36. The Fallen Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben calls for help  
> Chewie reunites with Maz  
> And Rey learns a few new things.

The sound of her screams echoed in his head, haunting him as he stormed from meeting to meeting. 

He’d expected it to be for show, as he was doing nothing to harm her in any way. Yet what started off as a rather pathetic acting attempt quickly shifted into something real and terrible, her pain shooting through him like a blaster bolt. The terror inescapable as the images played out in their shared consciousness. 

Everything was red.

She was fighting someone.

He was too, his own grunt of anger familiar to him.

Then there was blood.

And fire.

And pain.

But whose?

At first he’d wondered if she was replaying their fight in the throne room, but he quickly realized that this was something else entirely. Something that had not yet come to pass. Was it a vision? Or a nightmare? A warning?

He didn’t know. But he did know that he couldn’t bare to hear her scream that way ever again. He couldn’t bare to know she was in pain, whether by his own hand or someone else's. He needed to protect her. He had to.

The sound of a hesitant cough pulled him back to the present, where he sat before his generals once again. 

“Have you had a moment to read through the invasion plans, Supreme Leader?,” General Tanmo pressed, learning forward at the far end of the long table. 

Ben sneered. Tanmo was a small man, both in stature and foresight. He’d used his unflinching loyalty and willingness to commit unspeakable atrocities as a springboard to rise through the ranks under Snoke. This left him arrogant, even in the presence of his new ruler. It was clear he did not consider Ben fit for the position and the feeling the mutual. 

“I have.” He replied evenly. “They are as disappointing as I would’ve expected.”

Tanmo balked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Ben intoned. “The plans you have presented to me are both wasteful and sloppy. There is no need to risk the lives of innocent civilians, nor the lives of our soldiers, when a peaceful transition of power is possible.”

“But my lord, you asked for an invas-”

“I  _ asked _ for a plan for reorganization. What you gave me is a reckless, bloodthirsty battle plan.” Ben stood, pressing his hands into the table as he towered over his generals. “The First Order is no longer a war-mongering military organization. We are a governing body. If you are not capable of adapting, then I will replace you with someone who is.”

The tension that flew through the room was almost audible as every general leaned back in their seats in surprise. Everyone except Hux. 

“Have you such a short memory that you forget what got you here, to the position of Supreme Leader, in the first place?” Hux leered. 

Ben turned slowly, forcing himself to remain outwardly impassive as he took looked down at Hux. The man was growing bolder by the day. It was one thing to chastise his decisions when it was just the two of them, but to make such an accusation in front of a room full of First Order leadership was a power play. One even someone as ambitious as Hux would not make without confidence that his accusations had some standing. Hux was suspicious of him. He had been since he’d found him in the throne room, Snoke’s torso sprawled on the ground beside the throne. But he’d never been able to prove anything. Ben made sure of that. The records had been destroyed. He’d seen to it personally. There was no way they could’ve been recovered…

“I have not forgotten,  _ General _ .” He straightened, recalling the way he’d watched his mother all those years ago. She knew how to command a room better than anyone, even when she was the smallest person in it. “That does not change the fact that taking power and keeping it require different strategies. If we cannot adapt, we will be no better than the governments that came before us.” He sat again, leaning back in his chair. “I intend to do better.”

He watched as the general’s looked between one another. With quiet precision, he worked his way through each of their psyche’s, looking for dissenters and finding none that surprised him.  Ben smirked. Much as he hated admitting it, using his mother’s leadership strategies appeared to be an effective method of getting what he wanted. Not that he’d ever confess that to her. 

“You can expect a report detailing my expectations by the end of the week. Read it thoroughly. Your continued service will be dependent upon its adherence.” 

The the generals rumbled, some nodding, some muttering hushed “yes sir”’s. Hux said nothing, continuing to glare openly. 

“That is all.” 

Chairs slid out from underneath the eight generals as they rose in unison, bowing lightly as they filed out of the room. Ben remained sitting until he was alone, finally releasing the breath he’d been holding. 

They still saw him as a petulant child who let his emotions get the better of him. But he knew he’d surprised them today. In truth, he’d surprised himself. He’d remained uncharacteristically calm, letting none of them get under his skin. He felt focused, determined. And none of them had questioned his plans for greater change. They hadn’t seen anything concrete enough to challenge yet, of course. But it was a start. One that went better than he’d expected. 

Now came the greater challenge: actually building the better government he’d just advertised. He glanced at the communications unit in the back corner of the conference room reluctantly. 

He needed a second set of eyes. Eyes that would look at the hastily constructed plans he’d slaved over all through the night, pick them apart, and make them better. And there was only one set of eyes he trusted for the task. The same brown ones that looked back at him in the mirror every morning, only sitting on a far prettier face. But he didn’t need his mother, or the princess, or even the general.

He needed  _ Senator _ Leia Organa. 

He just had to be brave enough to ask. 

He hadn’t reached out to her since returning to the Finalizer. If he was honest with himself, he’d been scared to. The peace they’d come to on Endor seemed so distant now that he’d returned here.

He rose slowly, clenching his fists together anxiously as he approached the communications unit. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he placed his hand on the scanner and entered in his encrypted code, the same one he’d inputted into the Falcon. He doubted she’d answer him now. It wasn’t like she’d be sitting on the ship, waiting for his call. But he’d could at least leave a message, and send a copy of his report. She might be able to look it over, in the free time he knew full well she didn’t have...

“Ben?” Leia Organa’s face appeared before him, causing him to jump slightly. 

“Mother.” He answered tersely, quickly hiding his shock that she’d actually answered his call. 

“Is everything alright? I… I wasn’t sure I’d hear from you.” In all his life, Ben had rarely seen his mother appear surprised. But she was now, her relief etched into her face. Guilt coiled in his stomach. Once again she’d placed trust in him with the expectation that he’d break it. Her determination to love him was almost infuriating. But for once, she was actually there when he needed her.

“Everything is fine.” He said evenly, swallowing down his emotions. “I needed your help with something.”

“Anything.” She answered eagerly. “What is it?”

He looked around behind him, reaching out with the Force and clicking the lock on the door from afar before turning back to face his mother. “How much time do you have?”

“For you?” Her face shifted from concern to relief instantly, a small smirk appearing in the corner of her mouth. “All the time in the world.”

__________________________________________________

 

“CHEWIE!” Maz Kanata’s voice echoed throughout the rugged Takodana cantina. 

The tiny pirate queen leaped down from the bar top and waltzed her way over to the Wookie, giving Chewie a brief moment to take it his surroundings. The once great castle was gone, destroyed in the battle against the First Order, but Maz had wasted little time rebuilding. The cantina had the same layout, and familiar underworld clientele, but it still felt new. The stench of spilled liquor, vomit, and body odor had yet to permeate the air. It felt off, even as the ancient owner remained exactly the same. 

“How’s my favorite boyfriend doing?” Maz stood in front of him, her arms raised until he picked her up and wrapped her up in a hug, replying to her as honestly as he could. He didn’t like being here without Han. It brought back too many memories, both good and bad. Now though, it brought only sadness.

“I know, Chewie.” Maz nodded knowingly. “I miss his charming face too. Hell, I even miss the trouble that always seemed to follow in his wake.” She looked at Chewie thoughtfully for a moment, before squinting at him accusingly. “Something tells me trouble follows you here now.”

Chewie shrugged as he nodded.

“I knew it.” Maz hit his shoulder, pushing for him to set her down. “Fine, fine. Come this way. Too many prying ears out here.”

Chewie followed her through the crowd and down a set of winding steps, into the same long hallway that once resided below her castle, where they’d discovered Rey with Luke’s old light saber just before the attack. Evidently the First Order had not destroyed her entire adobe after all. 

The walked in comfortable silence until they reached a door at the far end of the hall. It opened at her touch and Chewie bent down to avoid knocking his head on the low entryway. 

“Sorry for the mess.” Maz said, tossing some trinkets to the side as she climbed atop a large chest and settled herself on it. “I haven’t had much time for house cleaning.”

Chewie shrugged, telling her he was used to far worse, as he looked around for a place to sit himself, finally eyeing a pillow-like mound and contorting himself to fit on it across from her. 

“So.” She began, leaning back. “What do you need?”

Chewie balked at her, acting offended that she would assume he didn’t just come for a visit.

“Oh cut the bantha shit, Chewie. I heard about the mess with Bespin. I know you all barely escaped with your lives. It’s hardly reaching to assume you’re here with a purpose, so spit it out.”

Chewie sighed, reaching into his belt and pulling out the recorded hologram Leia sent to him moments before he landed outside of Maz’s. He hadn’t listened to it yet himself, knowing only that she intended it for both of them. He clicked play and the visage of Leia Organa blinked to life in front of them.

“Hello Maz.” Leia smiled sadly. “It’s been a long time.”

Maz sat forward, eyes growing wide as she took in Leia’s appearance. 

“I’m sorry to come to you now, after everything, and ask for more help. No doubt you’re still recovering from the mess my husband and son left you with.” Leia’s expression darkened as she looked down momentarily, recovering herself. “There is much to catch you up on, and I will leave it to Chewie to fill in the details, but the most important thing is that Ben came home.”

Maz gasped, drawing her hand up over her mouth as her eyes shot to Chewie for confirmation. He gave it with a solemn nod.

“He and Rey have some kind of Force Bond that connects them. I’m sure you probably know far more about that then I ever will. But whatever it is, whatever caused it, it’s brought them closer together. He warned her about the impending attack on Bespin, giving us enough time to escape. And he saved my life, coming with her in the Falcon as we escaped the battle. He was with us here on Endor, as a prisoner of sorts, until a few days ago when he left with Rey to return to the First Order. Chewie took them on his way to you.”

Maz shook her head in disbelief, muttering nonsense to herself as they listened. 

“I let him go,” Leia continued, “because my son is still in there.” Leia shook her head in disbelief before she looked up again. “And he said he wanted to work together to build a better galaxy. To finally get it right. I knew he was likely lying to me, and I expected I’d never hear from him again. But I was wrong.”

This time Chewie sat up straight in surprise, this information as new to him as it was to Maz.

“He reached out to me , and we spent the last few hours working through the plan he intends to present to the First Order generals at the end of the week.” Leia stood straighter, looking more like the regal Senator than the war-ravaged General. “He also told me about a potential ally that we need to acquaint ourselves with on Naboo.” Leia leaned forward then, appearing to enter something into a system they could not see. 

“Maz, you are one of the only people left that knew my son before he became Kylo Ren. You know who he is, hidden behind the mask.” Leia’s eyes softened as she pleaded for the pirate queen to see her side. “I know I am asking a great deal of you, but I need your help.  _ My son _ needs you help. We have a chance to make sure Han didn’t die in vain.”

Leia finished entering in whatever she had been working on and stood straight again, her eyes gleaming with newfound hope.

“I’ve inputted the coordinates for a safehouse on Naboo. We are headed there now.” Leia hesitated for a moment, swallowing visibly as she curled her hands together in front of her waist. “I hope you will join us. If not for me, then for Han. And for Ben.”

The hologram ended then, with Leia’s image flickering away. 

Chewie and Maz sat in silence for a moment, both absorbing Leia’s message. Finally, Maz spoke up.

“Ben Solo.” She shook her head for a moment before a smile began to bloom upon her orange face. “Now that is a name I thought I’d never heard again.”

Chewie nodded his agreement as Maz slid down from her perch and walked over to the door. Chewie sat there stunned as he watched her step through the threshold and turn the corner, leaving him behind without an answer.

“Well?” Her face appeared a moment later in the doorframe. “The ship isn’t going to fly to Naboo by itself. Are you coming or what?”

Chewie rose up with an approving roar and following Maz out down the long hall.

“Oh and Chewie?” She added, gesturing towards another room to her right. “There are some supply boxes in there. The usual stuff. Be a dear and grab those too. Never know when they’ll come in handy.”

With a knowing nod, Chewie turned back into the supply room, armed with the knowledge that for possibly the first time in his life, he was going to come away from Takodana without getting into a scuffle, acquiring unplanned cargo, or getting preposterously drunk. 

He couldn’t help but feel that somewhere, somehow, Han Solo was snorting with laughter at the sheer absurdity of it all. 

____________________________________________

 

“97, 98, 99, 100.” Rey huffed as she laid back on the hard floor of her cell, having completed the final set of her second workout of the day. 

She was growing restless in there, even with the addition of the Jedi texts Ben had brought for her. They were great for exercising her mind, keeping her from going insane inside the gray box. But they were useless for her body. A body that was accustomed to hard labor day in and day out. 

She sat up after a moment, letting the blood rush back to her head before she pulled herself up and wiped the sweat from her brow with her arm band, sitting back on the bench to catch her breath. 

She really needed to use the fresher, as she was certain she must’ve smelled positively rank. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have cared much at all about how she smelled. She was used to going days without a good wash, and survival had always been more important than hygiene. But now, knowing that Ben could arrive at any moment and find her a sweaty, disheveled mess, she found herself peculiarly self-conscious. 

Staring at the door for a moment, an idea came to her, spurred on by the memory of her first time as a prisoner of the First Order. It was bold, but it had worked, despite the fact that she’d had absolutely no idea what she’d been doing at the time. But now she did know. And not only did she know, but she’d had practice.

She stood quickly, before she could convince herself that this was a foolish idea, and pounded on her cell door, before stepping back and waiting. When, after a few awkward minutes of silence, the door did not slide open, she tried again. 

Again, there was no answer. She huffed out, stepping to the door to try one last time, when it suddenly flew open and two armed guards stepped inside.

“What do you think you’re doing, banging on your door?” The first one spat.

“I need to use the refresher.” Rey stated flatly, betraying no emotion.

“You’re in no position to make that call, desert rat.” The second goaded. 

Rey glared between the two masked stormtroopers and sighed, raising her hand and wiping it between them as she spoke. “You will take me to the refresher and allow me to shower.”

Both of the stormtroopers instantly stood straighter, signaling that her mind trick was successful. 

“We will take you to the refresher and allow you to shower.”

“And you will give me as long as I need.”

“And we will give you as long as you need.”

“Thank you.” Rey smiled, gesturing to the door. “Now lead the way.”

It was quite possibly the most marvelous shower she’d ever experienced, topped only by the elaborate bath tub Lando Calrissian had insisted she use when they first arrived on Bespin, and she returned to her cell reveling in the discovery that she now some semblance of control over her circumstances. 

She stood in the entrance for a moment, contemplating what to do next. She’d made some progress with the Jedi texts, but found them dull and difficult to understand without additional guidance and direction. And she’d inspected the notepad he left, only to find it completely blank. The only gifts that she had not made some use for was the long narrow object with a narrow point at the end that seemed to go with a small bottle of black liquid. She’d sniffed the contents of said bottle, determining immediately that it was most definitely _ not _ intended for consumption, before quickly closing it again. 

Rey walked over to the corner of her cell where she kept the cloak and books hidden when they were not in use and bent down, searching for the pointy stick and the tiny bottle. She pricked her finger on the pointy object and was recoiling her hand back to check for blood when the door to her cell slid open with a resounding whoosh, and a set of boots entered the cell.

Rey jumped up immediately, spinning around to find Ben staring down at her with wide, curious eyes. “Your hair is wet.” The statement sounded more like a question as his gaze traveled down her head to the ends of her hair, resting just below her shoulders. 

“I…um, yes. I went to the refresher.”

Ben cocked his head as his eyes fell directly upon hers questioningly. “And how did you get away with that?”

“I mind-tricked the guards.” Rey shrugged, moving away from her corner and sitting on the edge of her bench. “Is that a problem?”

Ben smirked as he watched her take a seat. “Not at all. In fact, you should do it more often. I don’t like that you’re couped up in here.” 

“Well then, Supreme Leader.” Rey leaned back, crossing her arms against her chest as her wet hair soaked into her freshly cleaned tunic.  “How much longer will this interrogation take?”

Ben sat down beside her, mirroring her posture as he too leaned back against the wall. “I leave that up to you. The longer it appears to take to make you crack, the more powerful you will appear. And the more believable it will be that you turned of your own volition.”

Rey leaned forward, scratching at her neck as she pondered his words. “Why didn’t you come last night?”

Ben sighed and she turned back to look at him. “I was writing an initial draft for the transition plan.”

“Oh.” Rey sat up, her interest peaked. “How’d that go?”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not great. I lost track of time.” he dropped his hand away from his face, turning away from her. She could feel his exhaustion, the stress of his day weighing heavy on him. “I talked to my mother today.”

Rey perked up, more than a little surprised that he reached out to Leia unprompted. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Ben chuckled darkly. “And it managed to be the most productive meetings I think I’ve had in years.” He shook his head in disbelief. “As much as it may pain me to admit it, she’s damn good at what she does.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile, laughing at the scowl that appeared on his face the moment he noticed. “Anyway.” he coughed awkwardly. “I will be back tonight. Do you have anything in particular you wanted to focus on?”

She hummed slightly, pretending to think hard on it. “No, not at the moment. But I did have another question.”

He quirked his brow at her, prompting her to hop up off the bench and finish digging the robe from the corner it was buried in, laying it out before him and reaching for the pointy stick.

“What is this for?”

He blinks down at the objects before understanding dawns on him. “This is my old calligraphy set.”

“Calligraphy?” Rey asked, holding the stick up to her eye and squinting down the tub. “What is that?”

Ben chuckled lightly, reaching forward to gently remove the stick from her hands. “It’s decorative handwriting. A form of art. Although it’s mostly a dead art now. Here.” Ben opened the blank pad and twisted off the small bottle of black liquid, dipping the pointy end of the stick into the bottle. She watched as his hands twisted around the paper, curving into intricate black lines. After a moment, he picked up the pad and turned it around to face her.

There, on the page, was her name, drawn with a delicate elegance she never knew was possible. Drawing her hand to her lips, she reached forward and traced the letters sitting on the page.

“This is rather simple.” He reached up with his free hand, running it through his hair nervously. “I can do far more intricate…”

“It’s beautiful.” Rey whispered breathlessly, looking up and meeting his watchful gaze. “Will you teach me?”

“If you want me to.” He replied, setting the pad down in front of her and handing back the writing utensil. 

Rey leaned forward, staring down at the paper in front of her and nodding forcefully. “I do. I want you to teach me everything Ben.””

The jolt of his heartbeat tore through his shields, striking at her core as their eyes met each others in heavy silence. It had been brief, but she’d seen it nonetheless. The affection he held for her was right there, at the surface, hidden just behind the carefully constructed walls he built between them.  

Before she could acknowledge or question it, he stood. The fear in his eyes was as striking as the tension in his body as he backed toward the door. “I have to go now. I’ll… I’ll be back tonight. I promise.”

Rey turned, disappointment roiling through her at his sudden departure. “Do you need me to scream again?” She asked softly.

Ben stopped, his whole body stiffening in front of the door. 

“No.” He replied, dropping his head slightly. “No more screaming.”

And then, as quickly as he’d come, Ben was gone again, leaving her alone with her newfound discoveries. She knew what she’d seen, what she’d felt from him. And yet he’d run from her, just as she’d been running from him. 

She looked down at the pad of paper, tracing over the twists and curves of her name, so beautifully drawn. He’d left this for her, sharing a secret piece of himself that revealed a softer, sweeter side she knew full well he wanted no one to know existed. 

But she knew. And he let her.

And it was in that moment that it dawned on her. 

Ben Solo mattered to her, far more than she'd been willing to admit. And if she wasn’t careful, he would break her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly more than a little embarrassed that it took me so long to get this chapter finished, but for those of you still reading, thank you for your patience.
> 
> Your continued support and comments really inspire me, and I'm so excited to bring this story to it's conclusion in the coming weeks/months. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and let me know your thoughts!


	37. The Training Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally gets a little action...

Ben came as promised, waking her from a restless, dream-filled sleep. 

He said nothing, only presenting stun-cuffs and gesturing for her to follow him out of her cell, which she did, noting the empty halls and lack of guards as their footsteps echoed down the dark, cold halls. 

She had many questions, but lacked the courage to break the tenuous silence between them. She might’ve asked through the bond, but he was especially closed off tonight. The walls that had crumbled earlier had been quickly rebuilt, now with added reinforcements, blocking her out completely. 

And so she followed him in silence, choosing to study the route they were taking rather than the far more interesting subject that guided her through it. 

Rey quickly realized she was not being held in the standard detention block. Rather, she appeared to be on the same floor where Ben resided, having taken no elevator or stairway of any kind, despite passing more than a few on their journey into the unknown. She was distracted by the glowing blue lights that lit up the walls when he stopped suddenly, causing her to tumble clumsily into his side. 

“Sorry.” She muttered, stepping back awkwardly. 

Ben ignored her as if nothing happened, instead glancing down the hall past her before removing his black glove and pressing his hand against the wall. Rey jumped back slightly when the wall shifted to reveal a scanner. After a few moments, the red lights turned green and what appeared to be a wall panel slid to the side, revealing an ominously dark opening. 

He gestured for her to enter without so much as a word, continuing to check down the halls beyond her and behind him. His caution did little to quell her growing apprehension about what lay inside. Not to mention the fact that this was clearly a space no one else had access to. But she did as he asked, stepping over the edge of the threshold. Her movement triggered the lights as she continued further into the room, thin lines of dim white light shooting you the walls to reveal a large, empty room with high ceilings and a hard mat floor. 

Rey stepped toward the center of the room, her eyes gliding up toward the ceiling while she spun around inquisitively.

“What is this place?”

“My training room.” Ben replied, finally breaking the silence as the doorway closed behind him. “I thought you might like to get out of your cell tonight. Do something more physical.”

Rey looked down and met his gaze. She knew he meant training. But she couldn’t help but find her own thoughts drifting elsewhere, to the less savory things her mind had been unwittingly wandering toward in recent days. Catching herself quickly, she nodded. With a flick of his fingers her stun cuffs fell open, dropping to the floor with a thud.

“What did have in mind?” She questioned as he approached her, her chin tilting up to meet his gaze 

He raised his hand, eyes never leaving hers, as an object came whooshing through the air and into his waiting hand. She gasped as he presented it to her, recognizing her own handiwork instantly. 

“My lightsaber?” She whispered, reaching forward to take it from his open palm. “You’re letting me have it?”

“Would you rather I kept it?” He teased lightly. 

“No! No of course not!” She pulled it in to her chest. “I just… I didn’t think you’d trust me with it, is all.”

Ben quirked an eyebrow and huffed slightly, the same hint of a smile she was growing quite fond of pulling lightly at the corner of his mouth. “What, you waited to get me back to the First Order before deciding to kill me?” He stepped away, dropping his cloak from his shoulders and flipping his own lightsaber off of his belt and twisting it in his hand as he always did before a fight. “No. You’re far too rash for that.” 

“Oh am I?” She couldn’t help but smirk as she too stepped away, igniting both sides of her lightsaber, illuminating the space around her in blue. This would be the first time she truly got to test her new weapon. She could feel the kyber humming with pleasure in her hand, restless from going unused for far too long. “We’ll see about that.”

His smirk grew as the violent red of his own lightsaber mixed with the blue light from hers. He was looking forward to this. She could feel the excitement emanating off of him. She knew she should be nervous to fight him again. She should see his angry, unstable weapon and run away, not seek it out. 

But she wasn’t. She was excited; Ready to move her muscles and fight once again. And so, without waiting for him to prompt her, she launched herself into the air and over his head, swinging her saber down and meeting his with a roaring hiss. Their eyes met, a knowing smile passing between them as they held each other at an impasse for only a moment longer.

And then they were on the move again. 

He stalked after her with the force of a bull, swiping from each angle without remorse. He overpowered her easily, her strength no match for his. But that did not mean she was without her own advantages. 

While he moved faster than one might expect for a man of his size, he could not match her speed and cunning. He’d been trained to fight like a knight, with proper form and a waning degree of honor. She’d learned in the streets, relying on her brain as much as her body to take down the men who more often than not out numbered her. Where he relied on offense, wearing his opponent out with brute force, she thrived on the defensive. She could tire him out just as effectively by forcing him to chase her around the room, spinning and whirling as she twisted, curled, and flipped away from him with cat-like finesse. 

They spun around each other in a perfectly choreographed dance, matching each other blow for blow, neither able to gain the upper hand for more than a moment. 

The sheer adrenaline of the fight was exhilarating, and Rey couldn’t help but think that it was the most fun she’d had in ages. 

“Come on  _ Master _ .” She taunted, landing from her flip in a crouch across the room from him. “That’s the best you’ve got?”

He grunted in frustration, spinning to face her before launching himself into the air and slamming his blade down against hers. 

“Watch it Scavenger.” He growled. “I’m going easy on you.”

He swung hard, forcing her off balance as he backed her toward the wall. She parried each blow, but there was no room for attack. It was taking all of her focus to keep him from wiping her head clean off. 

It wasn’t until her back hit the hard wall behind her that she ducked, his cross guard nearly slicing away her hair before she managed to spin behind him, catching him by surprise. Taking hold of the opportunity before he could turn on her, she leaped onto his back, holding her sword to his neck as she leaned into his ear.

“You shouldn’t do that.” she whispered, echoing his words from the ship lounge days before. 

A shudder rolled through him as his head turned slightly toward her, his voice low and dark. “Do what?”

“Go easy on me.” She replied easily, leaning in closer, enjoying the feeling of her body pressed against his while she could. “I want a challenge.”

She pushed down from him then, removing her legs from around his waist and stepping away. Her finger flicked her lightsaber in a twirl in front of her as she moved into her defensive position, knees bent with her double sided blade held firm in her hands. 

She watched as he turned slowly, his irises blown wide as his eyes glazed over her. There was something heavy in the air, emanating off of him in the force. She’d sensed it before, but never as strong, as clear. His gaze lingered a bit too long before he caught himself, shaking his head and standing tall, the moment evaporating before them.

“As you wish then.” He purred, drawing his lightsaber up in front of his face and pointing it directly at her, the red glistening like fire in his eyes as it hissed in the heavy silence.

This time he moved first, running toward her with newfound ferocity as they resumed their dance. He was faster now, pressing harder and leaving her little room for error. She had the benefit of knowing his mind and his tactics, but the advantage meant little when he could read her plain as day. 

Still, she held her own, running herself ragged as he chased her around the room. There was a time, when she still lived on Jakku, where she could’ve run this way for hours. No longer though. She’d done her best to stay fit, but the endurance she’d developed in an effort to survive had waned as she’d grown accustomed to being well-fed and well-rested. Not that this was a bad thing in most situations. It just wasn’t so advantageous when trying to outmaneuver Ben Solo. 

So instead she decided to play dirty, knowing he’d likely call her out for it, but seeing no other way she could prevail against him at their current pace. 

Spinning quickly to parry his latest blow, she turned off one end of saber staff, distracting him just long enough to give him a good kick to the gut. He tumbled back, regaining his footing with a strangled grunt. She thrust upward, ready to strike when his hand thrust forward and her body went flying weightlessly toward him. Ben caught her by the arm and spun her, holding her back tight against him as he raised his sword to her throat, just as she’d done before.

“You play dirty.” He mumbled into her ear, spiking her heart-rate instantly. Whether the sudden heat between her legs was from the fight or his breath against her cheek she could not say. 

“What did you expect?” She breathed heavily, falling back against him. “I am a sand-rat after all.”

He loosened his hold, letting her step away as he turned off his lightsaber and dropped it to his side. 

“That’s the point” he nodded approvingly. “You’re unexpected. Unpredictable. I can read your thoughts, so I have an advantage. But no one else will know what you’ll do next. It makes you dangerous.”

“Hmph.” She huffed, recovering from the sudden loss of his body heat as she too turned off the remaining end of her staff. “Having a weapon I’m used to fighting with helps.” 

“Yes.” He took a small step toward her. "And you’ll only continue to get better with more practice.”

Rey perked up at that. “You’ll bring me back here?”

“Of course.” He shrugged, like the answer was so obvious she shouldn’t have even asked. “We can come here whenever you want. My nights are yours. If you want to fight, then we’ll fight. If you want to study the texts, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“And if I want to learn how to draw my name pretty like you do?” She asked, suddenly feeling shy.

“Then I’ll teach you how to draw your name, Rey.”

She smiled, looking down at her staff still resting in her hands. The way her name sounded on his lips was intoxicating. The more he said it, the more she wanted him to. It was in that moment that a terrifying realization settled with her. 

She’d resisted him in the throne room when he’d made his plea for her to stay with him. It had been far more painful than she thought possible. But she’d done it.

Now though, with his piercing chocolate eyes filled with longing and his deep, velvety voice that made her feel simultaneous safe and afraid, she knew she wouldn’t be able to say no again. 

“So,” that same voice broke through her silent reverie, “What should we do with our remaining time tonight?”

An idea came to her then, one she’d been mulling over since he’d left her in her cell earlier that day. She stepped forward and held out her staff, gesturing for him to take it back. He eyed it hesitantly before she spoke.

“Those plans you went over with your mother earlier…”

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. “What about them?”

“Can we go over them?”

Both of his brows shot up in surprise, a stark contrast from their shape a moment prior. “You want to go over reorganization documents?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged, forcing the lightsaber into his hand. “I told you I’d help you, didn’t I? I can’t really do that if I have no idea what’s going on.” 

He worked his mouth as he took her weapon from her, turning and walking to the wall where they were stored. She followed after him.

“Is that okay?” She asked meekly, suddenly very self-conscious of her request. “I mean, you don’t have to show me. I’ll probably have no idea what any of it means. I just thought you might like another opinion, or-”

“Why the sudden interest in politics?” He stopped suddenly, leaving her staring at his back. He turned slowly, his eyes ablaze with an emotion she couldn’t name. But she could feel it boiling within him. He was apprehensive, but the hope was there. She could feel it.

She continued toward him. “I want to hold up my end of the bargain Ben. I said I’d help you. If this isn’t helpful, I understand. But I wanted to offer at the very least.”

His lips pulled into a tight line as he studied her for a moment. Then, finally, he sighed, his shoulders relaxing visibly.

“Alright.” He nodded, his expression softening. “But I’m warning you, it’s extremely boring.”

“I spent years alone in a desert with nothing to occupy me but sand.” She crossed her arms, jutting out a hip stubbornly. “It can’t be worse than that.”

Ben laughed, shaking his head as he placed the lightsabers back on the wall and motioned for the case to close.  

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look at that! This chapter didn't take me a month for no reason whatsoever! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed your ride on the Tropeville Express. I couldn't resist. For those of you still patiently waiting for our couple to finally seal the deal, you still have a bit of a wait ahead of you. But in the end, I think (hope/pray) that you'll find the payoff rewarding.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and for your comments! They give me life in this cold, dreary weather.


	38. The Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a history lesson  
> Ben gets over himself  
> and Irydisa gets some unwelcome advice

His time with Rey was easily the best part of Ben’s day. 

They fell into a routine immediately. He would go for her when the majority of the officers on his floor were on their sleep cycle. They started with the physical training. Sometimes they worked on forms, sometimes on control. Sometimes they just fought, taking out the days frustrations on one another. 

The physical exercises were always followed by something more mundane. That first night they’d started on his plans for the First Order. She’d been an attentive listener, despite the dense material, but it became clear that she lacked a lot of essential background. The exercise had quickly devolved into a lesson on the basic structure of the First Order as it existed under Snoke, which led to the history of the New Republic, and then the Galactic Empire. Eventually, they made it all the way back to the Clone Wars and he quickly realized Rey had never received anything that even remotely resembled a formal education. She was entirely self-taught, and while she’d managed extremely well considering, her knowledge of history and government was woefully lacking. 

To remedy this, he gave her a data pad stocked with books on the galaxy’s history to read during the day, assuming she might skim them over if she got bored.

He immediately realized just how poorly he’d misjudged her interest. 

Rey devoured the books, constantly seeking out new material on the HoloNet when what he’d given her was no longer sufficient. She would come to their late night sessions loaded with new questions and brimming with insights he’d never even considered. 

As it was, she had already made suggestions for improvements to his plans without even realizing what she was doing. She had an outsiders opinion. The eye of someone who had to live with the consequences when laws were not properly enforced. It was a perspective neither he, nor anyone he’d worked with before, had ever bothered to take into account. 

Until now. 

“I’m beginning to understand why you dislike the idea of a Republic so much.” 

Ben’s brow quirked as he looked up from his datapad. Rey was bent over her own, biting her nail as her eyes scanned over the page. 

“Oh?”

“It’s impossible to get anything done.” She continued, shaking her head. “There are too many opinions. And by the time everyone is done compromising there’s hardly anything left.”

He chuckled darkly. “You prefer the Empire?”

Rey scoffed, looking up as a scandalized expression lit up her face. “No, of course not!”

“What then?”

Rey hummed thoughtfully, looking away from him as she sat up straighter on the ground. “Well, I’ve been reading a lot about Naboo. Their elected monarchy is fascinating to me. It also seems like Alderaan had a-“

Ben shot stiff at the name of his mother’s home world. A place he’d only ever heard about in her stories. Leia had done her best to tell him about her childhood, her parents, the life and the world that had been so cruelly taken away. In those rare moments when his strong, composed mother would brave her greatest pain, she told him of the legacy that should’ve been his. The one that he could be proud of, not the mantle he eventually took up instead. He would’ve been the crowned prince if the planet had survived. Perhaps even the King by now. 

“... So I think I’d have to say I favor something like that.” Rey concluded, nodding to herself. “You need a strong ruler to serve as a guide, but the power should still largely remain with a committee of representatives.” 

“Mmmhmm” he mumbled, lost in his thoughts. 

“Ben?” Rey leaned forward and waved a hand in front of his face. “What is it?”

His head shot up, realizing that he’d stopped listening to her the moment she mentioned Alderaan. “Nothing. Forgive me.”

He stood then, pacing toward the center of the room. Rey followed slowly.

“Is it something I said?” 

Ben sighed deeply, dropping his head back as he closed his eyes. “How much did you read about Alderaan?” 

Rey hesitated. “You mean, aside from the Death Star?”

Ben nodded. 

“Well…” she approached anxiously. “I read about the Organas. Leia… was that… was she…?”

“Yes.” He said simply, clenching his fists. She didn’t need to finish her question. His answer sufficed for it all. His mother lost her family that day. She lost her world, her home. Even if it led her to her long lost brother and her future husband, she could never fill the hole that Alderaan left the moment it ceased to exist. 

“So, that makes you a Prince, right?” 

He turned back, taking in the tentative, soft expression on Rey’s face. 

“No.” He scoffed, shaking his head sadly. 

“Why not?” Rey moved in closer. 

“You cannot lay claim to a throne that no longer exists. Besides, I never wanted it. I had no interest in the ceremonial titles my mother might’ve passed on. They meant nothing to me.” 

She looked down sadly, a question resting on the tip of her tongue. She was reigning it in, but he sensed her hesitation, her fear of setting him off. 

“What is it?

“I…” She started. “It’s… it’s just….” she shook her head, turning away from him. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Say it.” He murmured, less forceful than the last time he’d said the words. 

With a resigned sigh she looked up, meeting his gaze hesitantly. 

“The Hosnian System?” 

She didn’t need to say it for him to know what she was really asking. He, as the only son of the last princess of Alderaan, knew better than anyone what the destruction of a world meant. He knew the pain and suffering his mother endured. And yet he’d allowed it to happen again. He’d stood by and watched while Hux and Snoke built their superweapon, knowing full well what they would do with it. 

_ Why? _

“I was weak.” He whispered, the brutal honesty of his words laying heavy in the silent room. “It was never what I wanted, but I did nothing to stop it.”

He flinched as Rey came to stand beside him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. Her touch was too kind, too forgiving. He wanted her to yell at him. To scream and cower in righteous anger. Then, maybe, he would feel like he could own his actions. He could atone for the choices he made. 

But this? This was too much. Rey needed to understand what he was. She needed to embrace the evil that resided within him. If, in the end, she couldn’t love that, then so be it. But he refused to trick her into thinking he was something he was not. 

And he’d always refused to lie to her. 

“I would’ve watched again, if your Resistance had failed that day. I wouldn’t have stopped them.” 

Rey dropped her hand away, but she did not move from his side. He couldn’t look at her. He couldn't bare to see her disgust. 

“I’m a monster, Rey.” He spit the words out like a poison. “Not a  _ Prince _ .” 

Neither of them said anything for a long time, leaving him to simmer with his pain and frustration. He couldn’t tell what was going through her mind. All he knew was that she hadn’t turned away and ran from him. 

Not that she had anywhere to go. She was trapped here, a prisoner to his whims.

He hated that. 

He hated that she’d come with him so willingly, and all he’d been able to offer her was a cold, lonely cell and a few hours of his time. He wanted to give her every comfort she’d never known, every food she’d never had a chance to taste. She should’ve been sleeping on a bed of clouds, not a cement slab with nothing but an old cloak to keep her warm. She deserved his time and devotion. To know that she wasn’t alone and she never had to be again. 

But more than anything, he wanted  _ her _ to be here by choice. He wanted any relationship she had with him to be mutual and consensual, a choice she made freely and wholly. 

Right now he couldn’t help but feel it was anything but. 

“Ben?” Rey’s voice broke through the red glaze coating his eyes. She sounded soft, timid even. “I do want to be here, you know.” 

She moved to stand before him, bending down and forcing him to look at her. “You aren’t forcing me to do anything. I chose to come with you. I knew what that meant.” 

Ben’s heart clenched tightly in his chest. The question that he’d been too afraid to ask was sitting on the edge of his tongue, waiting to break free. Braving a glance at her waiting expression, he unlocked his mouth and let it fall away. 

“Why did you come Rey?”

She stepped back, her face falling as sadness engulfed her. “Because I promised you-“

“No.” He cut her off harshly, shaking his head. “That’s not why.”

Rey’s expression hardened, matching his own. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I made you a promise. I make a habit of keeping my promises.” 

“That’s not enough.” He replied harshly. 

“And why isn’t it?” Rey threw back, clenching her fists at her side. 

“There was a reason you made that promise in the first place.” His voice was low, goading, much as it had been during their first few force bonds. “What is it?”

“I…” She hesitated, flinching away from him.

“You think I’m something I’m not. Is that it? You think that you can change me?”

“Ben I-”

“ _ Ben _ ” He scoffed. “You keep calling me Ben, as if I just stopped being Kylo Ren the moment I touched your hand.” He turned away, clenching his fists tightly at his side. 

“I know who you are Ben.” 

“Do you?” He spun, facing her down. 

“Yes!” She yelled. “You keep trying to push me away, but you can’t!” She stepped toward him, eyes blazing. “I’m not afraid of you! I’m not afraid of what you’ve done.”

She moved closer, standing so that she had to crane her neck to look at him. “I came with you because I need you.” Her voice was firm, the sincerity of her words unquestionable. “And you need me too.” 

He gapped at her, shocked by her words. She was right, of course. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. But she couldn’t possibly feel that way about him...

“I don’t believe I can change you Ben. Only you can do that. But I know who you are behind the mask you’ve built. I’ve seen it.” She reached for him, taking his hand in her own and squeezing gently. “You can try and hide from the rest of the galaxy, but you can’t hide from me. I won’t let you.”  

She dropped his hand and stepped back slightly. “A man I trust once told me to let the past die.” She smiled knowingly as she turned away, calling back to him over her shoulder. “I think you could benefit from that advice. After all, it’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.” 

Ben could do nothing but stare after her, entranced by her lithe movements as she approached the center of the training room, her words hanging heavy around him. She trusted him. Not only that; she saw fit to throw his own words back at him, knowing full well he’d have no choice but to acquiesce. 

Suddenly, her hand shot up and her lightsaber went flying across the room and into her waiting hand.

“Come on.” She spun her weapon, flicking on both ends. “I want a rematch.”

He grunted, rolling his eyes as he pulled his own saber to him and ignited it. 

Rey was an enigma, one he would happily study for the rest of his life. He’d never understand why, but she was choosing to stay. She was choosing to forgive him for his past and be there for his present. 

Just like his mother. 

Perhaps it was time he did the same for himself. 

Ben stepped forward to face her as a wide smile sprung up on her face. Before he had a chance to say anything more, Rey rushed toward him, and their dance began once more. 

________________________________________

 

Her time watching Hux was easily the most frustrating part of Irydisa’s day. 

She developed a routine immediately. Hux was brutally regimented to the point of boredom. In the morning he would wake early, spending an exuberant amount of time grooming himself. He followed that with breakfast in his chambers, an event that typically included watching the HoloNet News and grumbling to himself about the ridiculousness of the newest rumor about the Supreme Leader or the First Order. 

His days were slightly less mundane, but only marginally so. He came and went from meeting to meeting, most of which she, or one of the other knights, were already a part of. She’d found nothing suspicious about any of his activities thus far, and it infuriated her. 

She watched him whenever she was not required elsewhere, and there was no possible way that he could know when that would be. She trained for two hours daily. She met with the Supreme Leader and the other knights for an hour. She slept when he slept and she ate when he ate. That gave the man only three hours in a cycle to outmaneuver her, and she ensured that her schedule was never the same. 

So how was it that she had yet to catch him doing anything even remotely suspicious? 

It was possible that Kylo was merely paranoid, but one look at the sniveling general would make anyone feel the same. In every meeting she had to sit through with him present he looked her away, a conniving smirk ever present on his insufferable face. He managed to keep his thoughts guarded just enough to prevent her from reading too deeply, and she had never been powerful enough to force her way through as Kylo did. 

And so she sulked, continuing her mundane task of following the infuriatingly precise man and waiting for opportunity to strike, knowing that he would inevitably slip up at some point. She could be patient. She’d forced the skill upon herself in her years waiting to be reunited with her master. This was nothing compared to that. And this was all for him,. For his pleasure, his glory, his security. 

Hux would bend, eventually. And when he did she would be ready. 

Or so she thought.

Kylo had gathered them all together with the generals for the reveal of his initial restructuring plan. She watched from behind him, standing guard beside Tizo and Vizan. They were there as a show of strength, but also to feel out the mood in the room as their master laid out his plans. 

She hardly paid attention to a word he spoke, focusing instead on his deep voice, the way his shoulders rolled with pride when he said something that set the room on edge. He was glorious; thriving. And the rest of the room sat with baited breath as he laid the future at their feet.

“I expect you will all want time to read through these plans more thoroughly. We will reconvene tomorrow.” Kylo stood, dwarfing the majority of the room and signalling the end of the meeting. 

The general’s grumbled under their breath as they exited the room, leaving the knights behind with their Master. Kylo turned toward the large window at the back of the conference room, clasping his hands behind his back pensively. 

“Master,” She began, reaching for him. “I feel that-”

“Later.” Kylo lifted up a hand, signaling for them to leave him. Tizo and Vizan did not hesitate, turning immediately to follow after the generals. 

“But Master…”

“I said ‘later’” Kylo’s voice was stern, low and commanding. She dared not question him again, no matter how badly she wanted to. 

“As you wish, my Master.” She bowed toward him and turned, exiting the room with a huff of frustration. The moment she was out of the door, it slid shut behind her, leaving Kylo Ren alone inside the conference room.

She clenched her fists tightly and glared back at the door. It had been over a week now, and still she’d made no progress with him. It was like he was avoiding being alone with her, finding every excuse to keep their meetings brief and strictly professional. He refused to train with them as he used to do, and he kept himself increasingly locked away, rarely seeking their council or support. 

“It must be frustrating.” Irydisa spun on her heels, immediately on edge as the voice she’d come to know so well in recent days chided from behind her. “Wanting him so badly only to be scorned.”

“What are you talking about?” She spit out through clenched teeth as Armitage Hux strolled toward her arrogantly. 

“Do you think it’s not obvious?” Hux’s lips curled up into an evil smirk. “Even in that ridiculous mask you are easy to read.”

Irydisa stood taller, anger boiling within her as Hux drew nearer. 

“It’s a shame really.” He continued, looking down at his nails. “But not altogether unsurprising. I always found his decision… questionable, but his choice in a mate is truly baffling.”

She had no idea what he was talking about, and it took all her self-restraint not to choke him on the spot. Her master was distracted, burdened by the responsibilities of his power and his role. Things Hux  would  _ never  _ understand. 

“Watch your tongue  _ General _ . You speak of things you know nothing about.”

“Oh?” Hux tilted his head curiously. “Do you really not know?  _ How interesting _ …”

He moved closer to her, hands grasped loosely behind him. “He has you so distracted spying on his subordinates that you are blind to the treachery right beneath you nose.”

“ _ There is no treachery _ .” She hissed, her body shaking at his accusation.

He simply shrugged as he moved to pass by her, stopping only as he brushed by her shoulder, his mouth dangerous close to her ear. “You’re a smart girl. You would be dead if you weren’t.” He whispered conspiratorially. “When you discover the truth, I’ll be waiting. And I assure you,  _ I know _ a catch when I see one.”

She didn’t dare turn to watch him go, but his words rang heavy as she turned back to face the door that locked her away from the man she loved. She would have him. She would make sure of it. 

Even if it meant listening to the slippery meddling of one Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New year fellow Reylos!
> 
> This is our year, and I am HERE FOR IT.
> 
> I can't believe I'm been writing this weird little head cannon of mine for almost a year now, but for those of you who have stuck it out: thank you. I'm so excited for what this year will bring, including the end of this story. But more importantly, the end of the Skywalker era. 
> 
> God, I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. 
> 
> The plot is moving slowly, but we are moving, I promise. There are just so many conversations I want these two to have, and so little time. As always, I love and appreciate your feedback, and I hope all of your years are off to a great start!
> 
> Happy Reyloing :)


	39. The Braid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn hits a sore spot with Rose.  
> Rey wakes up in a strange place.  
> And Irydisa makes a unsettling discovery.

The base on Ryndellia was small, but then again, so was what remained of the Resistance. Lando, Maz and Chewie had taken the new recruits and scattered themselves across the galaxy in search of more man-power and supplies, leaving but six of them on the temporary base.

Finn wouldn’t pretend he was happy to be left behind.

The only saving grace was that Rose stayed with him, helping Poe repair the Falcon while Leia huddled with Kaydel Connix and D’Arcy over strategy. They were living off ration bars and whatever they could scrounge up at the local market. Most of the food Maz and Chewie brought with them from Takodana made itself scare within days of their arrival. The rest had been sent out with them on their mission. Despite this, it was surprisingly peaceful. A calm before the inevitable shit storm that was brewing on the horizon.

“Finn,” Rose called from below, poking her grease stained hand up from the compartment she was working in, “hand me the bonding tape.”

He obliged, grabbing for it and handing it to her swiftly.

“Thank you.” She replied, ducking back out of sight.

Their relationship had evolved quickly after Crait, falling into a companionable sense of togetherness. They were rarely apart, and even the moments of silence were filled with contentment. Rey was his first and best friend. He’d follow her to the edge of the galaxy and back. She’d shown him that some people, some causes, were worth dying for.

But Rose? Rose had shown him that some people were worth living for. And he’d slowly realized that living for her was all he wanted to do.

She’d been working to fix the reactor for the last hour or so, and he’d simply sat above, handing her tools as she needed them, trying to make himself useful despite his nonexistent knowledge of engineering.

“Hey Rose,” He called down, leaning back on his elbows as he sprawled out on the floor of the Falcon. “Where’d you learn how to do all this? Did Paige teach you?”

Rose’s head popped up from within the compartment, her hair sticking up on end and her face smeared with grease. “No.” She shook her head, placing the role of bonding tape back on the floor. “Paige was always more interested in flying than fixing. My brother taught me.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Finn cocked his head, “Wait, why didn’t I know you had a brother? Have you mentioned this before? How did I miss this?”

Rose just shook her head and ducked back down below his sight line. “You have no reason to know about him. I don’t talk about him much.”

Finn leaned over the edge of the compartment. “Why not?”

“I just don’t.” Rose spun around, avoiding eye contact.

“Is he still alive? What’s his name?”

“Finn, please. Just stop.”

“Come on.” He hopped up and leaped over to the other side of the compartment, leaning down to force her to look at him. “Why won’t you talk to me about this?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Well, too bad!”

Rose spun around and lifted herself out of the hold, throwing down her greasy towel and storming into the main lounge with Finn following quickly behind her.

“Rose.” He grabbed a hold of her shoulders and spun her toward him, only to realize that she was crying. “Oh, kriff, Rose I’m sorry.”

He pulled her tight against his chest, letting her sob as he stroked her hair. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it. That was stupid of-”

“His name was Max.” She croaked out through her tears. “And I don’t know if he’s alive. I don’t know… I don’t know _anything_ about him at all.”

“Shhh.” Finn pulled her in tighter. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“I just… it’s that… I don’t know.” Rose sniffled against him, burrowing against his chest.

“Hey.” He pulled her back to wipe away her tears. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I pushed it. You can talk to me about anything. I hope you know that. But only when you’re ready.”

Rose nodded, wiping away one last stray tear. “Okay.” She murmured weakly.

“Come here.” Finn pulled her against him again, pressing a kiss into her hair as he stroked her back. They stayed like that for a long time, until her body stopped shaking and her sniffling came to an end.

Poe found them like that, holding each other in the Falcon’s lounge.

“Finn, Rose, where are you guys? Leia is calling for a - oh!” Poe stopped, startled at the entrance of the lounge. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Rose nodded, loosening her hold on Finn. “The General needs something?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Poe nodded, running his hand through his hair uncomfortably. “She wants to debrief before we head down to Naboo. I think she, uh, she heard from Ren. Or something like that.”

With one last sniffle, Rose let go completely and immediately moved to exit the ship. “Well come on then.”

Poe caught his shoulder as he followed behind her. “Hey buddy, is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Finn replied, watching as Rose disappeared behind a curved in the ship’s hall. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

Poe looked at him suspiciously, but nodded anyway, squeezing his shoulder before letting go. “Okay.”

They exited the Falcon in silence, making their way into the small control center on the far side of the hangar. Rose was standing inside, looking dead ahead at Leia. D’Arcy and Kaydel were standing on either side of the table.

“Poe, Finn.” Leia gestured her acknowledgement of their arrival. “Thank you for joining us.”

Finn looked at Rose hesitantly, then trained his gaze forward and nodding at the General.

“As you’re all aware, Commander Dameron and I will be heading to Naboo tomorrow morning to meet with their Queen.” Leia gestured to the holoprojector at the center of the table as the image of a young woman sprung up in blue. “My son has been in contact with her in recent weeks, and believes that we may find her an ally. I also have some familial connections to the planet, and I intend to see if we can use them to our advantage.”

Leia moved around the table, clicking the holoprojector again. “Chewie and Kitnik sent word from Kashyyyk. They’ve had some success recruiting and are headed back this way. General Calrissian is also expected back in a few days time with some new ships. We have no idea what state they will be in, so Rose and Finn, your job will be to assess damage with Ty and report back on any materials that will be needed for repairs.”

Finn and Rose both nodded in agreement.

“Good.” Leia continued. “We haven’t heard from Maz and her team, but we expect them to report back before we leave tomorrow. Commander D’Arcy will be in charge while I’m away, not that I have any concerns that the four of you will not be able to hold down the fort. ” She smiled gently as she looked between her remaining officers, clasping her hands together in front of her. “Alright then, if there is nothing else…”

“Wait.” Finn stepped forward, unable to stop himself from inquiring. “Poe said something about an update from the First Order.”

Leia shot a look at Poe, who scratched at the back of his neck nervously. “Yes…”

“Have you… Is there… Is there any word from Rey? Is she alright?”

Leia’s expression softened. “From what I can gather, Rey is just fine.”

Finn breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. Good. That’s, uh, that’s good to hear.”

Leia nodded and continued. “My son has presented his proposal for a new Galactic Order to the First Order leadership. He expects there will be some pushback, particularly with some of the changes he included after going through it with Rey.”

Finn perked up immediately. “He let her help him…?”

“Yes.” Leia smiled. “It seems that we may get more than we hoped for after all.”

Rose turned to look at Finn then, her eyes alight with surprise, just as his were. He’d been worried sick about Rey, hoping that he’d read Ren right, that he wouldn’t hurt her, and that she might be able to change him. He’d never expected that the change would happen so fast, or that they’d already be seeing her influence over him.

“With that said,” Leia continued, “our meeting on Naboo is all the more delicate. Change is coming, but it will be slow. Ben will need all of the outside help he can get, and the support of the star systems will be key to effective change. So...” she pressed off the holoprojector and clapped her hands together with a degree of finality. “Let’s all get some rest. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”

__________________________________________

 

Rey woke with a groan, moving to stretch her arms, only to feel a shooting pain roll down her back.

“Ow.” She croaked as her eyes fluttered open. She didn’t recall that injury before. Maybe it was just an ache from sleeping on a cement slab for so long.

Except she wasn’t on a cement slab…. She wasn’t in her cell at all. Her legs were tangled up in silky sheets, and the ceiling above her looked entirely different from the one she was used to staring at when she woke up.

She shot up, regretting the movement immediately as her back pinched sharply and she cried out in pain.

“Wait!” Ben’s voice echoed from the other side of the room, and suddenly his strong hands were cradling her shoulders, laying her back softly against the foreign mattress she’d been sleeping upon. “Don’t move too much.”

“What?” Rey questioned, her eyes flitting around the room, trying to get a grip on her surroundings. “What’s going on? Where am I? What happened?”

“You’re in my chambers.” he answered evenly as the bed dipped to accommodate him as he sat beside her, reaching for a glass of water. “I brought you here after you fell. Do you remember anything?”

It was slowly coming back to her. _They’d been training like they did every night. Ben was tired, but still he’d managed to hold the advantage over her, cornering her against a wall with a deep sigh of satisfaction._

_Satisfaction that she could not let stand._

_There was a small ledge above them, and an idea sprung to the forefront of her mind._

_“Rey, no, don’t try it.”_

_But his warning came too late, falling on deaf ears as she leapt up and missed her footing. The last thing she remembered was the terror of knowing she’d missed her mark, and the sensation of falling from a great distance…_

Rey groaned. “Kriff, I’m an idiot.”

Ben’s face said nothing if not “I told you so” but he mercifully refrained from speaking the words aloud.

“My medical droid claims you didn’t break anything, though how you managed that is beyond me.” He handed her the glass, helping her prop up just enough to sip without spilling. His touch was tender, gentle, shooting fire through her nerves at the spot of contact. “There are bacta patches along your back, so the bruising should go down within the next day or so. You can rest here, until you feel better.”

When she’d had enough to drink he laid her back softly, standing and setting the glass down as Rey looked at him questioningly. “Won’t someone notice I’m missing?”

“I’ll take care of it.” he replied, emotionless. “I’ll be back late. The droid will be here if you need anything.”

He walked across the room, throwing on his cloak and grabbing his gloves from atop the chest. She watched in quiet fascination as the man she knew as Ben Solo transformed himself before her eyes, becoming the Supreme Leader once again.

“Get some sleep.” He murmured, taking one last look at her, laying there in what must’ve been his bed, before storming from the room. The glance had been quick, but not altogether subtle, and as she dropped her head back against his pillow unceremoniously, the lingering concern that emanated off of him stirred her thoughts.

He must care about her. He wouldn’t have brought her back here and laid her in his bed and waited for her to wake if he didn’t. He would’ve left her with a droid, or perhaps a medic, if there was one he thought he could trust. Instead she was curled up in his sheets, the smell of him wafting through her nose as she brushed against his pillow.

“Madam Rey.” The medical droid Ben mentioned entered the room, carrying with him a tray of bottles and needles. “I am 21-B5, personal medical droid to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. He has instructed that I tend to your injuries while he is away. And I must say, from what he told me, you are quite lucky to be alive.”

Rey grunted in agreement, stiffening in pain as she turned her neck.

“The bacta will help with the pain and bruising, but it will be most effective if you do not move for the next few hours. If you will allow, I would like to give you a sleeping sedative to ensure complete immobility while you heal.”

Pain shot down her leg as she turned away again, and she sighed pathetically. “If you must.” She groaned.

“Excellent.” 21-B5 replied, dipping a rather terrifying needle into one of the bottles on his tray and flicking away the excesses liquid. “This will sting.”

Rey tried not to cry out as the droid injected the needle into her shoulder. The medicine burned through her veins like firewhiskey.

“Good, Madam.” The droid intoned as he withdrew the needle. His voice was already growing distant as her eyes fell closed. “Now sleep…”

The next time when she woke, she did not jolt. Her eyes flitted open slowly, and she chose instead to revel in the sensation of silk sheets and a soft mattress. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep, or what state she could expect to find her body, so she opted to slowly flex each muscle, testing them for pain.

Her back felt significantly better, so much so that she even braved trying to sit up. She could feel the bacta patches flexing along her spine, but the shooting pain she’d felt when she’d first awoke here was gone, replaced by a very tolerable dull ache. The spot on her shoulder where 21-B5 poked her with the needle felt similarly tender and her legs felt stiff from disuse, but otherwise she felt much improved.

She was, however, in desperate need of a fresher.

She rolled off the bed slowly, each movement a test of what her body could handle. She stumbled slightly as she stood, throwing her arms down on the bed to catch herself, but found that she wasn’t as wobbly as she might’ve expected.

It was slow going to the fresher, and she used the edges of every piece of furniture she could find to guide herself to her destination, but she was more than a bit relieved to find that there was a tub waiting inside the black chromatic space, the one thing about Ben’s chambers that spoke to something besides pure functionality.

Rey spent at least an hour soaking in the bubbles, stretching and relaxing each of her limbs until the muscles were so loose she could float. The water was cold and her fingers were wrinkled beyond compare by the time she forced herself out of the tub, finding herself clean and refreshed to the point of guilt.

Unsurprisingly, all of Ben’s towels were the same shade of almost black dark-gray as the rest of his chambers, although they were no less soft for the color. It was for this reason alone, she argued to herself, that she decided against returning to her sweat stained rags. Instead she threw them in the washer, turned on a deep cleaning cycle and exited the fresher wrapped up in nothing but a body towel.

Most would’ve described Ben’s room as sterile. Each object was a chromatic black that shimmered when caught at just the right angle in the dim false lighting. The sheets she’d been tangled up in sat in a knotted mess on a functionally sized bed, surprising considering the size of it’s most regular occupant. In the corner there was a desk and along the back wall was a tall bookshelf, filled with real books and strange objects; the only evidence that a sentient being might actually live there.

Despite all the darkness in the cold, black space, Rey felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. He was everywhere in this room. His signature lingered over the chair by the bookshelf, a place she imagined he spent a great deal of his time, though probably not as much as he would’ve liked.  His warm, husky scent lingered by the bed, and in the clothes she’d found hung in a chest by the door.

The chest was lined with familiar armor in various shades and fabrics, but the hidden treasure was found in the drawers below, where his softest shirts were tucked away. She ran her fingers over the smooth lines of the perfectly folded fabrics until her eyes fell upon a lone grey stragler, poking up from beneath all the black. She grabbed for it without thinking and held it up to her chest. The shirt was simple, with long sleeves and an even longer torso and without a second thought she dropped her towel away and threw the shirt on over her head.

It was perhaps the softest item of clothing she’d ever worn, and certainly the largest. Her hands were trapped within the sleeves, and the waistline fell perfectly at mid-calf. It was better than being wrapped in only a towel, and besides, it was unlikely that he would return from wherever he was before her own clothes were clean again anyway.

She cuddled her arms against her chest, settling into the warmth of the cloth as she wobbled her way back over to the bookshelf to explore his collection. She recognized a few of the smaller books as ones he’d lent to her to read days before. She’s flown through them as quickly as she could, both due to her fascination with the wealth of knowledge she’d never had access to before, and her complete lack of anything else to do for hours on end.

Her fingers scanned over the edges, running across the divots of the hard outer shells, fascinated by the feel of leather on her skin. Food and water were scarce commodities on Jakku, but books were rarity all unto themselves. It was rare enough to find one on a civilized planet, let alone an outer rim desert hovel. Little Rey would’ve drooled at the mere idea of a single tarnished journal. And now here she was, standing before a towering shelf of them, running her fingers down their spines in awe.

“Rey?”

Ben’s concern laced voice startled her, causing her to fumble the book she’d started pulling down from the shelf as she stumbled back into the chair behind her.

“Oh, kriff!” She muttered, grabbing for it clumsily.

“Rey.” This time her name fell from his lips like a prayer, his relief pounding through him.

Rey brushed her tangled wet locks out of her face and pressed against the edge of the chair to stand up straight again. “Kriff Ben. You scared me.”

She turned around to find him standing in the center of the room, mouth hung ajar as his eyes roved over her with an unrestrained hunger that caused her to blush profusely. She ducked her head away, feeling dreadfully subconscious and brushed her hair behind her ear nervously.

He seemed to recognize that he was gaping at her after a moment and turned away himself, clearing his throat awkwardly and scratching the back of his neck as his eyes flitted around the room. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t think you’d be awake yet.”

“It’s alright.” She shrugged, tugging at the sleeves of his shirt, now fully aware what she must look like standing there draped in his clothing.  

“Is that... my shirt?”

“Oh, um...” She looked down at the gray fabric draped over her like a dress before letting out a weak, guilty “Maybe?”

He quirked his head at her as the slightest hint of a smile teased his lips “Maybe?”

“I’m sorry.” She rushed on nervously. “I took a bath, and my clothes were filthy so I washed them, and I didn’t think you’d be back so soon to notice and…”

“Rey.” Ben stepped in closer, pulling his gloves off as he did. “It’s fine. Really. It looks better on you anyway.”

He tossed to gloves to the chair and moved to stand before her.

“Okay.” She murmured, her face turning bright crimson as she tried to stop herself from smiling at his compliment.

“How are you feeling?” Ben pressed, concern replacing the softness of his bright brown eyes.

“Well, I managed to get up and take a bath, so I’d say much better.” She smiled up at him reassuringly, watching as he relaxed visibly.

“Good.” He smiled, tilting his head as he observed her. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair down.”

“Oh.” Rey blushed again, leaning back heavily against the chair and running her fingers through her dripping locks. “I normally keep it back.”

“I know.” He nodded, his eyes flashing a million miles a minute. He swallowed hard after a moment, seeming to have decided on something. “I could, um… if you prefer it that way, I could… braid it for you. If you want.”

Rey’s eyes shot up to meet his, sensing his anxiety. “You know how to braid?”

Ben nodded.

“And you wouldn’t mind?”

He shook his head, “Not if you don’t.”

She looked up into his chocolaty orbs and felt the air in the room shift perceptively around her. He was offering something so intimate, and soft, and personal. She’d been spending so much time around him lately that it was impossible to pinpoint the exact moment where that suddenly became okay. She only knew that it was. That she wanted him to be close to her, to touch her, to run his fingers through her hair, no matter how ratty.

“Okay.” She nodded, never breaking away from his gaze.

“Okay.” He replied softly, lifting his open palm in offering. She took it, allowing him to lead her carefully over the side of his bed. He pulled a small bench over to the edge with the Force, gesturing for her to sit, and then fell down on the bed behind her so that he sat above.

She sat stone still, trying and failing to control her breathing as she waited with baited breath for him to touch her.

“Relax Rey. I’m not going to hurt you.”

She closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath and forcing her shoulder down. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her. That wasn’t what she was afraid of. It hadn’t been for some time.

When finally his fingers did brush into her hair, ever so tentatively, she let out a small gasp.

“We don’t have to do this, Rey. If you’re uncomfortable, or…”

“No.” She shook her head rapidly. “No, no it’s not that. I’ve just never… no one has ever…”

Ben continued to play with her hair gently, running his thick fingers through the knots with surprising ease, letting her continue. The movement was soothing, distracting even, and as she closed her eyes and leaned back against the edge of the bed, she felt herself relax into his hands.

“It feels nice.” She finished lamely, letting out a deep sigh. “Thank you.”

Ben hummed softly and continued his ministrations, parting her hair at the top of her head with one hand as the other came to rest and the base of her neck, slowly lowering her back toward him. She let him work in comfortable silence for a while, feeling her mind drift away as his hands worked over her head. She couldn’t tell exactly what he was doing, but she found that she really didn’t care. She was utterly at his mercy, a thought that would have terrified her not so long ago. Now though, it was soothing. He was gentle, and careful, and she could sense the peaceful calm radiating from him across the bond.

“Lean back” He murmured softly, keeping hold of the top her head as she fell back against his chest softly. “Thank you.”

She hummed in acknowledgement, letting her eyes fall closed as she breathed him in, feeling his heart beat thrumming gently in his chest.

They sat in silence for a bit longer, until her curiosity got the best of her and she could not resist letting the question that had been sitting at the forefront of her mind since he offered to do this for her from leaving her lips..

“Ben.” She whispered softly.

“Hmmm?”

“How did you learn how to braid like this?”

He paused for a brief moment, tensing slightly above her before continuing on. “Braids were quite significant in Alderaanian culture.” He started. “In an effort to keep certain traditions from dying out completely, my mother spent a lot of time imparting them on me.”

“So you used to braid Leia’s hair like this too?” She asked, imagining the same little boy she’d watched excitedly wield a lightsaber on the Millennium Falcon sitting on his knees above his mother, carefully learning to braid her hair.

He hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “I did, yes.”

Rey smiled, settling back slightly on her seat. “What other traditions did she impart on you?”

Ben shifted slightly beneath her, tucking a completed braid underneath another on the right side of her head. “Many I’m sure. The hair stuck with me best.”

“Do different braids mean different things?” She pressed on, “Because Leia started wearing her hair in a particular knot after Han…”

Ben tensed immediately upon mention of his father, his hands freezing mid-braid. After a moment, he cleared his throat and continued his work.

“It’s called a mourning braid.”

“Oh.” She replied, feeling the sadness wash over him, mixing with her own. “What about the one you’re doing right now? Does it mean anything?”

“No.” He replied simply. “It’s just my favorite.”

He worked for a few more minutes in silence before gently placing his hands on her shoulders. “Alright. All finished.”

Rey leaned forward, lifting her hands up to run her fingers over the intricate plaits decorating her head. She spun around to face him then, craving his opinion. “How do I look?”

Ben’s eyes were wide with wonder as he took her in, smiling gently. “You look beautiful Rey.”

A wide, brilliant smile blossomed across her face as she looked at him. “I want to see!”

She stood up a little too quickly, wobbling until he reached out to steady her. “Careful Scavenger.”

“Always.” She teased, standing up straight and walking toward the fresher.

The fog that had coated the mirror post bath had dissipated, giving her a clear few of herself for the first time. The girl she saw there might well have been a stranger, though. She looked… pretty. A word that Rey would never have used to describe herself in the few times she’d had access to a mirror. Her hair was twisted into an intricate braid that crowned her head, and her eyes were wide and bright. She looked healthy, and well rested. Her face was no longer sunk in and her lips had regained some color since last she’d seen them.

“What do you think?” Ben asked softly. She turned to find her leaning against the entryway. his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“I love it.” She smiled up at him brilliantly before turning back to the mirror to admire his work some more.

“Good.” He replied, moving to step up behind her. She tensed as he lifted one hand to brush a stray strand back behind her ear before settling it lightly on her shoulder. “It suits you.”

They stood there for a moment, drinking in the sight of the two of them together, so close yet so far. He was at least a head taller than her, but it seemed right that way. She couldn’t help the sense of deja vu that washed over her as she memorized the image. She’d seen this before, in another mirror, in another place. She’d been asking about her parents then, seeking a sense of belonging. But now, standing here with Ben in his sprawling black chromatic fresher, that belonging no longer seemed so far out of reach.

The beeping of the washer unit broke her from her reverie, causing her to jump slightly. Ben dropped his hand away and stepped back as he turned to glare at the machine.

“It appears your clothes are done.” He gritted out tensely.

“It would appear so.” She agreed with equal annoyance. “I suppose this means it’s time I changed and got back to my cell.”

Ben looked up at her with a pained expression, which she couldn’t help but laugh at. “As much as I might like to, I can’t stay holed up in your room forever Ben.”

He grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “Says who?” before turning away to exit the fresher. Once he was safely on the other side, Rey breathed out a deep sigh and moved to rescue her clothes from the confines of the washer droid.

Careful not to disturb her beautiful new hairstyle, Rey shed the grey shirt with deep regret, trading it for her tan breast band and her shabby forest clothes. Taking one last glance at her reflection in the mirror, Rey turned to exit the fresher.

Ben was waiting for her on the other side, one hand gripped a few of the thicker books Rey had been eyeing on his shelf before he’d returned.

“I pulled a few more of these.” He answered her curious stare, gesturing to the books he carried. “I think you’ll like these ones, but if not, the rest are yours to choose from.”

Rey smiled as she walked toward him, taking the books and holding them close to her chest. “Thank you, Ben. I’m sure I’ll love them.”

Ben nodded stiffly, taking one last look around the room before sighing sadly. “I suppose we should go then?”

“I suppose so.”

She followed him out of his chambers silently, feeling the way he tensed as the rounded each curved hallway, constantly on edge as if waiting for an officer or guard to appear unexpectedly. It did not take too long to reach her cell, confirming her earlier analysis that her cell was in the same wing as his chambers. The guards outside of her cell appeared to be standing and alert, but Rey immediately knew otherwise, noting the way their signatures were dimmed as if asleep.

Ben ignored them as he opened the door, standing there waiting for her to pass him. She stopped though, taking a moment to look up at his face. He looked so tired and worn. While she had plenty of time to sleep while he was in meetings all day, what hours he should’ve been using for rest he was giving to her, for her training.

“Ben.” She said softly, reaching up to brush her finger over his cheek lightly. “You need to sleep.”

He scoffed, looking away from her with a scowl.

“I mean it.” She insisted. “Don’t come for me tonight, okay? Use the time to get some sleep. I’ll be fine, here with these books.”

He gave her the side eye glare that spoke of his distaste for her proposal. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Too bad.” Rey couldn't help but smirk at his stubbornness. “I won’t come with you until those bags under your eyes go away and I can tell that you’ve had at least eight hours of sleep.”

Ben groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically. “That’ll never happen.”

“Fine. Six then.”

“Four.”

“Six.”

“Five.”

“Six.”

They glared at each other for a long moment, neither of them budging until finally he sighed, relenting.

“Fine. I’ll try and sleep tomorrow night.”

Rey smiled brightly. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever.” he grumbled, turned to help her down into her cell.

Once she was on the other side she turned back to face him one last time, admiring his handsome face despite the signs of exhaustion and frustration that rested there. Acting before she could dwell on it too much, she leaned forward, standing up on her toes to reach him as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you Ben. For the braid, and for taking care of me.”

Ben stepped back in surprise, his eyes blown wide as he looked at her. “You’re, uh… you’re welcome… Rey.” He coughed awkwardly again as he stepped back out of her cell. “Try not to nearly kill yourself next time.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” She replied with a teasing smile.

He returned it with a soft smile of his own before turning away. “I’ll see you later Rey.”

“Later.” She agreed, turning back toward her slab of a bed, her heart humming happily long after the door slid closed behind him.

________________________________________

 

Irydisa watched from her hiding place inside the ventilation above the prisoner’s cell as her master made his way down the hallway toward his chambers, his hand lifting to caress his cheek tentatively.

Everything made sense now. His extended disappearance from Naboo, his resistance to all of her advances, his insistence that no one but he go near the bitch. Kylo Ren didn’t need more time to come around to the idea of his own freedom at all.

He’d simply transferred his affection elsewhere.

And not to just anyone, but to the very enemy they’d sworn to destroy. A dirty, grimy little sand rat bitch who dared to call herself a Jedi.

Her anger overwhelmed her, pulsing through her veins like a drug as her sight glazed red with fury. He'd braid the girl's hair, a sacred act that symbolized affection and intimacy. One that he'd explained to her all those years ago when they were kids. And he'd let her tease him and demand things of him without so much as a hint of anger. If anything, he'd seemed... happy. Calm, at peace.

It was _terrible_.

If she could not have him, no one could. Least of all a girl who would do nothing but drain him of his power and destroy all they’d worked so hard to build.

No. This had to end. _She_ had to end.

Even if it meant conspiring with a man as distasteful as Armitage Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This extra-long fluff riddled chapter is brought to you by copious coffee and wine, and my inner romantic running rampant over these two love-birds. I hope you find it satisfying, especially as our slow burn starts to heat up. 
> 
> As always, thank you to those who have continued along this journey with me. I've updated the chapters to display what I expect to be the remaining story. There may be one or two more that get added depending on how off kilter I get in some of my dialogue heavy scenes. But I have also added a Part 2(!) which will encapsulate at least 5 epilogue chapters that will take place post main story. Most of those are already completed, but I won't be posting until I finish this story so as to avoid ruining the ending (sorry!). 
> 
> Thank you again for all your wonderful feedback and comments, and Happy Reyloing!


	40. The Promises Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tizo Ren declares his loyalty.  
> Poe learns the truth.  
> And Rey's reading proves rather insightful.

_“You’re leaving?”_

_Max couldn’t bare to meet Paige’s eyes. He had to go, he was only putting them at greater risk if he stayed and something else happened in the mines. But knowing that didn’t make leaving them any easier._

_“I have to Paige.”_

_“Okay.” She nodded, looking back toward to bunk where their baby sister lay asleep. “Fine. Then we’re going with you.”_

_Max shook his head. “Paige, I want you to come. If I could take you with me I would...”_

_“And why can’t you?”_

_He gulped, unsure how to possibly explain to his sister that he had to go alone, that Luke Skywalker was waiting for him, that he could finally learn to control the strange things that were happening to and around him._

_“I can’t remove your trackers. You’ll die before we even leave atmosphere.”_

_“Oh and you won’t?” Paige scoffed. “How is it that you can get away unharmed but we can’t?”_

_Max shook his head in frustration. He didn’t have time for this. Skywalker and his nephew were waiting for him on the edge of the mines. He hadn’t given them an answer, only his word that he would return by midnight if he intended to join them. If he didn’t leave now, his window of opportunity would be gone._

_“Paige, listen to me.” He reached for her hands earnestly. “I love you. I will always love you, but if I stay I put you both at risk.”_

_Paige shucked his hands away. “And if you leave? Then what? I can’t protect her on my own. You know that! If the overlords don’t kill us, the mines will. You’re the only thing keeping us safe!”_

_“I’ll come back for you.” He pleaded. “I promise I will. I’m going away to learn how to control my powers. And once I do, I’ll come back for you. I’ll take them all out, every last one of them, and I’ll take you away from this horrible place.”_

_Paige turned away, her body shivering in the cold night winds. He moved forward to cradle her in warmth as he had so many nights before, but he was stopped by her words, echoing out into the icy mountain air, clear and crisp and final._

_“No you won’t.”_

Tizo Ren sat alone in his chambers staring at the images on his holopad, Paige’s words ringing in his ears as if she was standing before him now, cursing him to his face. His sister’s visages stared back at him blankly from the files he’d dug up in the First Order database, a painful reminder that she had been right.

He hadn’t gone back for them, not in time anyway. They’d joined the Resistance instead, which explained why they hadn’t been on Hays Minor when he’d finally made it back there years later. Part of him was relieved that they’d escaped enslavement without him. Proud even. But another part of him, a part he thought he’d buried in those mines the day he’d found them empty, grieved terribly.

Paige was dead. He’d felt it in the Force the moment she’d made her way into the greater unknown. She was dead, her blood was as much on his hands as it was anyone else’s. The regret gnawed at him like a rancor does a bone. If he hadn’t left them behind, Paige never would’ve run to the Resistance. She never would’ve been fighting in this war in the first place. She would’ve been safe.

And Rose…

He hadn’t seen his baby sister since she was a child, and now he was looking at a blurry image of a young woman grown. She was still out there, somewhere, alive. But for how long? It was safe to assume she was with whatever remained of the Resistance. Kylo had not mentioned the band of rebels since he returned with the Jedi girl, but Tizo knew better than to think that his master had forgotten about them. He went to the girl everyday, trying to get information out of her. No matter how broken the Resistance must be after the battle, he would not be able to let them go. Not when his mother still led them. For try as he might to pretend otherwise, Kylo Ren could not totally shed himself of Ben Solo, just as he would never be able to completely divorce himself from the boy that was Max Tico.

And that boy _desperately_ wanted to see his baby sister again.

A hard knock on his door pulled him away from his memories, and he rose quickly, slipping his mask on before moving to deal with the unexpected intrusion.

The door had barely slid halfway open before Irydisa Ren barrelled past him to stand in the center of his room.

“Irydisa… What are you…?”

“Ever heard of lights?” She snapped, flicking the overheads on from across the room.

“Some of us prefer the darkness.” He replied coldly, bracing himself for the inevitable confrontation that Irydisa brought with her.

She laughed harshly, crossing her arms and pacing across the room. “And some of us simply pretend to.”

Tizo stiffened immediately. There was no way that she could’ve known what he’d been thinking about. He’d never told her about his sisters, not even when she had gone by the name Lara…

“Why are you here?” He pressed cooly, careful to keep his voice emotionless.

“Are you aware that our Master has been spending his nights with the scavenger bitch he dragged back from Naboo?”

Tizo stiffened. He was aware that Kylo had been distracted as of late, but what their master chose to do with his time was no ones business but his own.

“I imagine he has been trying to break her.” He replied dispassionately. “He has made it clear that she could be very useful to us, under the right circumstances.”

Irydisa barked out another harsh laugh. “ _Oh yes_ ,” She spit, “If _breaking her_ includes braiding her hair and showering her with gifts.”

Tizo bent his head, understanding instantly that Irydisa had worked herself into a jealous rage that he would now have to bare the brunt of. “And how do you know this?”

“I’ve been watching him.” She hissed, as if the answer should’ve been obvious to him.

“You’ve been watching our Master?” He pressed. “When your job was to watch General Hux?”

He felt the energy in the room shift as Irydisa stopped and turned toward him. “Hux is not the problem. The girl is. She is twisting him, making him weak. We need to destroy her.”

Tizo leaned back, considering.  “You would go against a direct order?”

“I would do whatever it took to protect the Order! To protect him!” She yelled. “I would’ve thought you would do the same.”

He scoffed, drawing close to her as he stared her down through his mask. “Are you so jealous that you do not see what you are doing? Or has your loyalty become so fractured that you would align yourself with the likes of Hux to get what you want?”

“How _dare_ you question my loyalty.” He could feel her spiteful glare even from behind the masks they wore.

“How dare _you_ profess it.” He replied sharply. “My loyalty has always been to Kylo Ren, not Snoke, not the First Order and certainly not Armitage Hux. If our master sees something in this girl, then I will stand by him and protect her. You would be wise to do the same.”

Irydisa scoffed, stepping back from him. “You are so blinded by your love of the boy he once was that you would allow him to ruin it all. _I am not_. If you will not help me, then Vizan will. And we will end the Jedi once and for all.”

Tizo grabbed Irydisa’s arm as she stormed past him, holding her to the spot as he glared down into the red tinged glass that covered her eyes.

“He will not forgive you for this, Irydisa.” He whispered, low and threateningly. She ripped her arm out of his grip without a word, and moments later she was gone.

Tizo took a deep breath, quickly digesting what had just gone down in his room. He meant what he said to her. His loyalty had always, and would always remain with Kylo Ren. But she was not wrong to call him out for his motives, especially now that he knew where his sister was.

Ben Solo had saved him all those years ago, on a secret planet, on a dangerous mission. He’d protected him against the worst of what Snoke had planned for them, and he’d let him go to find his sisters when he’d asked without question. He was a leader worth following, and his loyalty to him would never waver.

But he would be lying if he claimed that loyalty was the only reason he refused to help Irydisa. Try as Kylo might to keep the Jedi girl a secret, Tizo knew she’d been with the Resistance. She probably even knew Rose, or at least where he might be able to find her.

It was for that reason that she had to stay alive. If he was ever to find his sister again, he needed her.

Steeled with the resolve of a selfish man, Tizo clicked on his commlink and called his secure channel to the Supreme Leader.

“What is it Tizo?” Kylo’s tired voice broke through the silence, riddled with curt annoyance.

“It’s the girl.” He answered quickly. “Irydisa knows, Master. And she is coming for her.”

______________________________________

 

He’d never been to Naboo before, but the moment they’d broken atmosphere Poe decided that he would most definitely be coming back as often as possible.

If he survived long enough to have that freedom, of course.

The Queen had greeted them without much pomp and circumstance before leading Leia away to a private room. Poe wouldn’t pretend he wasn’t disgruntled that he was barred from their meeting, but he relented when he saw that the Queen’s advisors and guards were also being shut out of the room.

Instead he’d taken to wandering around the palace, taking the time to appreciate the openness of the building and the beauty of the sprawling city outside. At some point he realized he’d wandered too far, and he found himself standing in an open marble space that looked out on the vast blue lakes below the capital city. A waterfall rushed down over the edge from below a marble monument, impeccably carved into the shape of a beautiful young woman.  

Poe was taken by the stone carving instantly, admiring the way her luscious curls cascaded down her shoulders as if they were real and soft and touchable. She held a necklace in her hands, resting gently over her womb, swollen with life.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

Poe spun around to find Leia walking toward him, her voice echoing throughout the open space.

“Yes, she is.” He nodded, turning back to look down at the monument again. “The Naboo must’ve loved her very much, to give her such a resting place.”

Leia hummed, nodding to herself as came to stand beside him. “Yes, they did. She was their queen once, and a Senator.”

Poe turned to her inquisitively. “You know who she is?”

“Oh yes.” Leia smiled wistfully, running her hand over the carving gently. “She’s my mother.”

“ _What_?” Poe stammered, stepping back like he’d seen a ghost.

Leia chuckled lightly. “What? Don’t you see the family resemblance?”

Poe’s eyes drifted between the woman’s peaceful stone face and that of his beloved General. “I… yes… I suppose… but how…?”

Leia leaned forward, running her hand across the necklace resting in the woman’s hands. “Darth Vader was a man once, hard as that may be to believe. He was a Jedi Knight, in fact, and a decorated General of the Clone Wars. At some point he fell in love with a beautiful young Senator from Naboo.” Leia gestured to the monument. “They married in secret, and at some point she became pregnant with my brother and I.”

Poe stepped back toward the stone, his head whirling as he digested this news. “So, this woman was Darth Vader’s wife?”

“She was Anakin Skywalker’s wife.” Leia smiled up at him sadly. “She was also a fierce politician, a founder of the Rebellion and a dedicated democratist. Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader in an effort to save her from dying, but in the end, it was this choice that killed her.”

Leia stepped away, staring out at the lake below as he stood stoic behind her, allowing her to continue. “I never wanted to know about my birth parents as a child. I was content with the family I had. And even later, when my brother told me of how Anakin Skywalker been redeemed,  I could not bring myself to forgive him for what he did to my people. I could not accept that _Vader_ was ever good. I was ashamed, and I refused to listen to Luke when he tried to explain it all to me.”

She turned back then, staring longingly at the face of her mother. “I can’t help but wonder, if I’d been brave enough to listen, if I could’ve saved my son from all this pain and heartbreak.” She took a deep breath in, her whole body shaking with the effort of it. “I should’ve told him the truth. I should’ve had the strength to bare it. Instead, I was weak, and selfish.”

They stood there in silence, Leia lost to her memories and Poe trying to wrap his head around it all. He’d always known that Leia had a complicated background, but he’d never headed the nasty rumors that spread around the galaxy after the reveal of her parentage. The woman he knew was none of the terrible things whispered about her, and so he’d ignored it all.

But he couldn’t ignore it all now that he the rest of the story.  He still wanted to hate Kylo Ren, to forgive Han and Leia and place the blame squarely on the man who was old enough to control his own fate. But he saw now that it was never that simple. Darth Vader was not simply evil incarnate, and neither of Kylo Ren. He was human, and he made mistakes just like the rest of them. He knew he couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done, just as Leia would never be able to forgive Darth Vader. But he could listen, and he could try and understand.

He’d always operated with the singular mindset that right and wrong were simple. Good and evil were black and white, and there was no room for grey. He saw now just how naive he’d been.

“I’m sorry.” Leia spoke again, cutting through the silence. “Leave it to an old woman to moan on about her tragic family history when there are more pressing matters to be discussed.”

Poe looked up at her with a smirk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I happen to find your family history fascinating”

Leia chuckled darkly. “Yes, I’m sure you do. But I think you’ll find the results of my meeting with Queen Milané a bit more relevant.”

Poe nodded, accepting that her rare moment of vulnerability had passed and he was once again standing before General Organa.

“She’s special, that one.” Leia smiled, gesturing for him to follow her as they walked over to the waterfall’s edge. “Brave, and smarter than a whip, especially considering how young she is. My son was right about her.”

Poe looked down at her inquisitively. “And which side is she on?”

“Her people's.” Leia answered fondly. “Which is always the right answer, as far as I’m concerned.”

“And what does that mean for us?” Poe pressed.

Leia turned to look up at him, the softness in her eyes calming his growing impatience. “It means she wants to work toward an end to the war. She is willing to support a new government as long as the star systems will have a fair say in how it is formed.”

“What about the First Order? She hosted the Supreme Leader mere weeks ago. I find it hard to believe he left without garnering certain concessions.”

Leia looked back toward the monument of Padme. “Unsurprisingly, my son left quite the impression.” She met his gaze with glimmer of mischief, “But he neglected to tell her of certain familial connections that I thought might soften her opinion of him.”

Poe stood back, startled. “You told her that he’s your son?”

“Oh yes.” Leia nodded with a smirk, “And that the dramatic capture of a certain Jedi girl was little more than an act to appease his general’s. She relaxed quite a bit when I told her that news.”

Poe shook his head in disbelief. “And you just trusted her blindly? Without any proof of her allegiances? She could expose everything.”

“She could.” Leia shrugged. “But she won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“She’s force-sensitive.” She stated, as if that was a perfectly adequate explanation for her blind trust. “And Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer, who sent his Knights on a crusade throughout the galaxy to hunt down every known force-user they could find, spared her life. He offered to teach her even, when her service to her people came to an end.”

Leia looked up at Poe knowingly. “Believe it or not, he did not leave as awful an impression on her as you might assume. And now, after meeting with me and hearing what _we all_ want to accomplish, she has decided he may have been telling her the truth after all.”

Poe huffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “I cannot believe we are doing this. I cannot believe we are _actually_ working with _Kylo Ren_.”

“Neither can I.” Leia wrapped her hand in Poe’s arm, turning to head back into the palace. “But then, I did always wonder if you two might not have been friends, had the circumstances been different.”

Poe shot her a look of complete shock, to which she chuckled heartily. “What? A mother can dream, can’t she?”

Poe shook his head, smirking despite himself. ‘Sure, Leia. Sure.”

________________________________________

 

Rey set the book down with a satisfying thud, sitting up and stretching her stiff muscles after hours spent hunched the texts.

Ben had been right, his latest suggestion had been a riveting read, detailing the stories of the Jedi Master Bastila Shan and her husband, Darth Revan. It was a romantic tale, with enough deceit and intrigue to keep her on her toes throughout. But it was the conclusion that left her feeling truly satisfied. Somehow, despite all the obstacles that stood in their way, Bastila and Revan had come together, their story avoiding the tragedy that she’d expected throughout.

Rey picked up the book, running her hands over the ancient leather cover, and leaned her head back with a thud, drawing her other hand across the braid that still crowned her head, sighing deeply.  If Bastila and Revan were able to overcome the darkness to find the light once again, then there was hope for Ben. It was already there, simmering below the surface, revealing itself in soft, sweet moments like the one they shared in his fresher, when it was just the two of them, standing there in peace, admiring the way they fit together so seamlessly.

Perhaps that was why he’d chosen this story for her. He wanted her to believe it was possible for them to be together, despite the odds stacked against them. She smiled at the thought, knowing full well that she needed no convincing. If anything, he was the one who seemed so unsure of their future. She resolved to tell him so the next time he came to her. He deserved to know that she believed in him, that she saw the good in him and would wait as long as it took for him to recognize it in himself.

He wouldn’t be coming to her for training tonight though, leaving her with plenty of time to get in more reading before trying to sleep. Besides, she was hardly tired. She’d done nothing but rest for the past few days or so. As it was, Rey suspected that she would have a hard time drifting to sleep on her cement slab, particularly now that she knew what it was like to sleep curled up on a soft bed, surrounded by the warm scent and familiar comfort of Ben’s presence. Instead she stood, crossing her cell and bending down to replace the finished book with a new one.

She was crouched over the growing pile she’d tucked under her bed, deciding between two of the new books she’d brought back from his room when she heard her cell door slide open.

“ _Ben_ .” She scolded, unable to keep the smirk off of her lips as she shook her head. “You’re supposed to sleep tonight. _Go away._ ”

When he didn’t reply, Rey stood, a thousand playful jabs dancing on the tip of her tongue. They all fell away, along with the books she was holding, the moment she turned around and found another figure leaning against the frame of her door, studying her fingers despite the black gloves that covered them.

“The girl I've heard so much about.” The distorted purr of a female voice echoed toward her as the black clad figure stepped down into her cell.

"Hello Rey. What a pleasure it is to _finally_ meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY.


	41. The Manipulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux makes moves.  
> Ben evades sleep yet again.  
> And Rey deals with her unwelcome visitor.

Hux stood in the center of his command room, unable to wipe the devious smile from his smug face. The holovid was replaying for a third time, and his smile grew wider with each pass.

Sure, it had been jarring to see the Supreme Leader cleaved in half by the lightsaber, the look of pure shock crossing his face as his torso fell the floor in front of his legs. But it did not matter. Ren had killed Snoke, not the pathetic scavenger. And what was more, he’d done it to save her, turning to fight beside her the moment the act was done.

It was better than he ever could’ve hoped for.

The pure treachery was divine. It would play across the holonews like a soap opera, providing him with the perfect propaganda to overthrow the pathetic leach who dared to take up the mantle that was rightfully his. He should’ve killed him then, when Ren was sprawled, unconscious on the floor of the throne room. His moment of hesitation was one of his biggest regrets. It mattered little now, though. If he’d killed him then he may have been seen a martyr. Now he could tarnish him for good, leaving Hux to rule with an iron fist.

Hux pressed the communications channel, calling upon his most trusted commander. “Jauron.”

“Yes, General?” The commander answered instantly.

“The time has come, Commander. Tell Captain Kelser his fine work will not go without reward. He is being promoted. I want him leading the charge.”

“Of course, General. Shall I send the order?”

“Yes.” Hux smiled, a dark, insidious thing, “Execute Operation Scavenger. And bring _the Supreme Leader_ to me.”

____________________________

 

Ben sat at his desk, running his fingers over the bridge of his nose. The day had been a long one, and without the promise of a night spent with Rey, he’d found it increasingly difficult to tolerate his subordinates.

His plans were in motion, to the degree that they could be with Hux still in charge of the army, and he had in place a few officers that he trusted. About half of his generals had proven themselves loyal. The rest would have to be removed. This was fine, of course. As time went on, there wouldn’t be a need for so many military leaders. The key was finding a way to eliminate them without causing an uproar, or worse yet, another uprising.

He caught himself staring at his freshly made bed where Rey had been sleeping mere hours before. Her signature still lingered over the space like a ghost, haunting him. Just as the gentle press of her head against his chest, her hair between his fingers, and her lips against his cheek would haunt his dreams both day and night until he could feel her again, warm and safe and _his_.

He was consumed by her; utterly and wholly. If he had to sleep, he wanted her lying there with him. If he had to fight, he wanted her at his back. If he had to rule, he needed her by his side. Without her, none of it made sense. All of the power he held in his grasp meant nothing if his other hand wasn’t wrapped tightly around hers.

But she wouldn’t be there again until he made some effort to sleep. And so, with a resigned sigh, he rose from his place, turning off his holopad and crossing the room toward the fresher.

Ben made quick work of showering and preparing for bed, trying not to linger too long in the last place he’d properly touched her, and exited the fresher clad in sleep pants and a mop of towel dried hair.

His bed, while a far cry from the slab he’d squeezed himself onto while a prisoner on Endor, felt stiff beneath him. The sheets too warm, the pillows too soft. Its only redeeming qualities were the brunette hairs that had been too stubborn to escape the grips of the washer droid, providing proof that she’d really been here, that it hadn’t all been another beautiful, impossible dream.

He was finally settling in, his body unable to resist the call the sleep that it had been deprived of so long, when his communications unit began to beep wildly.

He rolled over with a groan, grabbing the blinking machine and flopping back down on the bed. Tizo was calling for him. He grumbled as he clicked open the channel, wondering what could possibly be so important that his knight felt the need to bother him at this hour...

“What is it Tizo?”

“It’s the girl.” Tizo replied urgently. “Irydisa knows, Master. And she is coming for her.”

Ben shot up instantly.

“What do you mean _she knows_?” He hissed.

“She… saw you. With her.”

He froze.

_Damn it._

“Find her. _Now_.”

“Yes Master.”

He was out of his bed in an instant, stalking toward his training room as he yanked his various clothing items out of his wardrobe from across the room.

He couldn’t believe how careless he’d been. He wasn’t blind to Irydisa’s advances. He knew what she wanted. It was what she’d always wanted, even when they were children. He’d given in once, more out of curiosity than desire. She was beautiful, and powerful, and he wouldn’t pretend that her crush hadn’t been flattering. But he’d never wanted her the way he wanted Rey.

Irydisa wanted him for what she thought he was. She craved his power, his mystery, his name. But she didn’t _know_ him. She never would.

Rey _did_ . She saw through the mask he wore, scavenging her way through the darkest caverns of his mind, salvaging the broken pieces that others would have tossed aside. She saw _him._ Not his power, or his title, or his bloodline, no. She knew his greatest sins, his deepest fears, his most painful regrets. She knew them, and yet, rather than running away as so many others had, she’d chosen to stay. She chosen to place her trust in him, however foolish that was.

And now he’d put her in danger. All because he’d been unable to stay away. He’d been so blinded by his need to be near her that he’d become complacent and trusting. If Irydisa knew, then others would as well. And if others knew, then she was no longer safe here.

He’d given his word, to Leia, to Chewie, and to himself that he would protect her. He would do whatever it took to keep it.

Even if it meant giving her up.

The moment he stepped across the threshold to his training room, now fully dressed and ready for battle, he called for her lightsaber, watching as it flew across the room into his waiting hand without hesitation. Once it was clipped to his side, he turned, dialing in the last lifeline he had.

“Ben?” Leia’s familiar voice answered instantly, “What is it?”

“Rey’s in trouble.” He answered, summoning his own lightsaber as he stalked toward the door. “I need your help.”

____________________________

 

Rey dropped the books from her hands as a shiver ran down her spine.

“It’s funny,” The woman sashayed across the room with a sway of her hips, “I haven’t heard the name ‘Ben’ in many years. In fact, if I recall correctly, Kylo Ren killed the last person to say that name in his presence.” The woman took a step toward her, crowding her space threateningly. “His father, if I’m not mistaken.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rey replied coldly, throwing her mental blocks as quickly as she could.

“No?” The woman tilted her head. “That’s interesting.”

Rey stood frozen as the woman walked around her cell, inspecting the space with a judgmental eye. Rey’s own gaze shot to the cloak she’d left draped across the cement slab, inadvertently drawing the attention of her visitor.

The distorted voice hummed, pulling the fabric to her hand with the Force. “ _Very interesting_.”

“Who are you?” Rey demanded, trying her best to keep the tremor from her voice. She already knew the answer, at least to a degree. If her outfit didn’t give her away, her force-abilities immediately did. This was a Knight of Ren. The only remaining question of any importance to Rey was whether not that made her a friend or a foe.

“Has he not told you?” The woman turned, “And here I thought you were so close.”

Rey swallowed, holding herself still so as to avoid revealing her inner turmoil. She _was_ close to Ben. Or so she thought. But then, he had this whole life outside of his time with her. He had servants and soldiers and _knights_ to do his bidding. She knew nothing of them, and even when she’d asked, he’d hesitated to answer. And now one of them stood before her, purpose unknown, leaving Rey completely vulnerable.

“Suddenly so quiet.” The woman goaded, stepping toward her. “I can feel you stewing in there. Not a very peaceful mind for a _Jedi._ ”

“I’m no Jedi.” Rey answered with a glare. “And I’ve made a habit of killing creatures that hide behind masks.”

The woman laughed harshly. “There she is.” She lifted her gloved hands and disengaged her mask, just as Kylo had in the interrogation chamber, revealing the face of human woman. Rey’s breath hitched as she took in her features. She was strikingly beautiful, with flowing red hair and shocking green eyes. The curves of her slim body were hardly hidden despite the full black bodysuit.

“My name is Irydisa Ren.” Her true voice was just as smooth and alluring as her figure, “Kylo Ren’s most loyal servant and knight.”

Rey looked her over, catching the less than subtle emphasis on the word ‘loyal’. “Did he send you here?”

Irydisa smiled conspiratorially “Oh no. He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“What do you want then?”

“What do I _want_?” Irydisa laughed, revealing a perfect set of white teeth as she threw her head back dramatically. “Do you not know? All these nights together and he hasn’t taught you how to probe my mind?”

Rey said nothing, denying the knight the satisfaction of an answer.

“He’s been spending a lot of time with you.” Irydisa continued, drawing her finger to Rey’s chin and inspecting her. “I wanted to see for myself what was so interesting about a desert rat from Jakku.” She flicked her chin up, pursing her lips as her eyes trailed across Rey’s features. “I’ll admit, I’m rather disappointed.”

Rey sucked in a deep breath as Irydisa circled around her, tracing her hands along Rey’s shoulders slowly. “You see, we have a history, Kylo and I. But Snoke kept us apart. He thought it was dangerous for us to be together.” Irydisa scoffed, pausing with fingers at Rey’s neck. “He was right of course. Together we will be unstoppable.”

Irydisa moved to stand in front of her again, drawing a long claw-like nail down her cheek as a  green light lit up on Irydisa’s wrist, drawing the attention of both woman. She stepped back, reading the message on her communications unit.

“Hmph” She smirked, reading whatever message appeared before her. “It appears that I’m being summoned.”

She took one more step toward Rey, brushing away a stray hair from her face with a light touch.

“I’m sure I’ll see you soon, Scavenger” She purred, pressing harder against Rey’s face before turning away, grabbing for her mask and exiting the cell without a second glance.

Rey collapsed the moment to door sealed shut again, drowning in fear and confusion. She’d trusted Ben. She thought she knew him. Who he was, who he could be. She certainly _thought_ she knew how he felt about her. Had she misunderstood it all? Every longing glance, every gentle touch. His promise that she wasn’t alone, that she meant something to him. Was it all a lie?

Tears fell down her face unbidden as she cried out in anger. Here she had sent him away, telling him he needed sleep, and instead he called for another woman. How stupid was she to think that he could ever want _her_ when he’d had someone as beautiful and powerful as Irydisa standing by his side for all these years. He knew her deepest fears and most pressing desires, just as she thought she’d seen his. But now she couldn’t be sure. If what Irydisa said was true, then he wasn’t alone at all. The belonging she sought was hers and her alone. He was just using it to get what he wanted from her. Whatever _that_ was.

And now she was trapped in a nightmare of her own making, inside this cell, on-board this ship. She’d grown too comfortable, placated by a misguided sense of security that she should’ve known better than to trust. The promise he’d made her all those nights ago on Ahch-To had been her security blanket. That was ripped away now, leaving her as BB-8 had found her in the desert wasteland of Jakku:

Completely and utterly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know! Not only is this a shorter chapter, but it's an angsty one. 
> 
> Bare with me my loves. We are almost there ;)


	42. The Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia gets comfort from an unexpected source,  
> Tizo gets stuck in the middle,  
> And Finn worries himself into a tizzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a scene in this chapter that is meant to be read/envisioned as if it was written for an Aaron Sorkin story. Fast talking with a lot of brisk walking. 
> 
> I think you'll know which one, but just in case it wasn't as clear as I wanted it to be, here is your set direction :)

The Resistance had hardly been gathered on Naboo for a few hours and already Leia was watching half of them blast away again.

She stood in Padme’s mausoleum, watching out over the waterfall as the First Order shuttle that Lando had commandeered shot out of the royal hangar and into the sky, carrying with it four of her most valuable assets.

Finn, Poe and Chewie had volunteered without hesitation the moment she’d received the call. She expected nothing less from the three of them. Lando’s decision was more of a surprise, although she sensed it had more to do with his attachment to this new, sleek machine he’d managed to steal than it did the girl they were off to rescue.

Either way, she was glad he was with them. Poe, Finn and Chewie were more than capable of handling themselves, but this was personal. None of them had any idea what they were flying into, or what they would find when they go there. There was no telling what stupid decisions they would make when Rey’s life was on the line.

Leia shuttered, turning away from the now empty sky and walking back toward the stone monument of her birth mother. Ben’s words had been brief, but it was more than enough to rattle her. He was terrified. The desperation in his tone lay heavy as he begged for her help to get Rey away safely. She’d obliged without a second thought, immediately relaying the information to her team and sending them away. But it wasn’t her concern for Rey that had her standing out here now, her stomach turning.

It was Ben.

He was Supreme Leader, yes, but his power was far from secure. If he was worried for Rey’s safety when he was in charge, then his own life was at risk as well. She’d seen one too many politicians murdered over petty squabbles and power grabs. Within an organization as militant and divisive as the First Order, a coup was not only quite possible, but highly likely. Especially if the truth about Snoke’s death came out.

Leia lifted her hand, running her fingers across the strange wooden necklace that was carved out in Padme’s hands, resting peacefully atop her swollen womb. She couldn’t help but wonder what her mother would think about all of this. She died at a far younger age than Leia was now, but that did not make her pain less real. She saw too much in her short years in this galaxy, just as Leia had. Heartbreak and war tore their family apart, generation after generation. It seemed to Leia that it was poised to never end.

“Ben will do better.”

Leia spun her back pressing against the stone at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Standing there before her, shrouded in the blue glow of a Force ghost, was a man she did not know. He was tall, almost as tall as Ben was, with long hair and a similar scar across his eye. But he looked more like her brother than he did her son.

Suddenly Luke appeared next to the man, and the connection clicked instantly.

“ _You_.” She seethed, unable to contain her anger.

“Yes _me_.” Anakin nodded, smug amusement pervasive in his stance. “I see that time has not softened your opinion of me.”

Leia balked, turning her shocked gaze into a heated glare and resting it upon her equally amused brother.

“What are you _thinking_?”

“Don’t blame me for this one, Leia.” Luke smiled, stepping in front of Anakin, “You’re the one that came here and rubbed that necklace.”

Leia turned back, eyes falling to the wooden object in her mother’s hands before turning back with a furrowed brow.

Anakin answered her question without even being asked. “I gave that necklace to her. I’ve rested my spirit within it. Ben found me the same way.”

Luke nodded, confirming this strange new aspect of the Force. “Since you knew me in life, I can appear to you through your memories, manifesting as you saw me in life. Those you’ve never met cannot do that.” He turned to their father. “At least, not without a little help.”

“I _did_ meet you.” Leia spat, “Multiple times. If I recall correctly, the last time I saw you, you were turning the man I loved into a carbonite art piece.”

Luke shook his head sadly. “Darth Vader did that to Han.”

“That _is_ Darth Vader.” Leia threw her finger out to point accusingly at Anakin.

“Luke.” Anakin stepped forward again, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. This is between me and your sister.”

Leia looked between the two men, noting the similarities between them. Luke certainly favored Anakin in appearance, as she did Padme. Luke nodded, stepping back as she watched Anakin suspiciously.

“I know you talked to my son.”

“I did.” He nodded.

“And what, _exactly_ , did you tell him?”

“I showed him my mistakes.” Anakin sighed, his shoulders falling as he looked beyond her, toward the woman resting peacefully at her back. “And I told him that it wasn’t too late.”

He looked up, the familiar eyes he’d passed on to Luke meeting hers earnestly, begging her to hear him.

“What…” she swallowed, afraid to ask a question she wasn’t sure she could handle the answer to “...what did he say?”

“He asked what he needed to do.”

“And what did you tell him?”

Anakin offered her a soft, reassuring smile. “I told him to find what it was he truly wanted and let that guide him forward.”

Leia stiffened, looking up at the man who was her father with wide eyes, a thousand questions burning in the back of her mind.

“He didn’t give me an answer.” Anakin bent to meet her eyes as Leia slumped forward in disappointment. “But I don’t think he needed to.”

Leia looked up, “What do you mean?”

Anakin shrugged, “Well, not five minutes after I left him, he turned and ran off to warn the girl about the attack on Bespin, saving all of your lives and turning his back on the order he was supposed to be leading.”

A knowing smirk curled upon his lips as he looked at her. “I think those actions speak for themselves.”

Leia looked between Anakin and Luke, letting the words sink in. When she’d asked Ben if he found what he was looking for on Naboo he said he’d found the truth. She’d understood the words to mean the truth about Vader, and by all accounts that _was_ what he’d meant. But he’d found something else here as well. He’d found a purpose, a light to guide him where he longed to go. Gone were the voices in his head, bending and twisting his every thought and desire into something evil and dark. He’d been alone with his mind and his heart here, able to parse through years of torment and lies and find the truth buried within. The truth that had finally brought him home.

She turned away, holding herself tightly as she stifled back tears. Her son had finally returned to her. He’d finally found the light inside himself and was using his power for the greater good. And now it was all hanging by a thread once again. “I can’t lose him.” She muttered, looking out at the darkening sky. “Not again. Not now that he’s finally come back to me.”

Luke moved to stand beside her, placing a calming hand against her shoulder. It was not real, or solid, but she could knew he was there just the same.

“No one is ever really gone.” He answered softly, echoing his final words to her on Crait. “Trust in the Force, Leia. And trust in him.”

She nodded solemnly, turning back to where Anakin Skywalker waited patiently beside Padme. It was strange to see him like this. He was young and handsome, and it was easy to see how a young senator could’ve been caught up in it all. It made it even harder to accept the monster he had become.

“I don’t forgive you.” She said, chin held high as she looked on him sternly.

“I know.” He nodded solemnly. “Neither do I.”

Leia looked at him, at the pain and regret etched into his young face, and saw her son. She’d been able to forgive Ben. She would always forgive him. Was it possible that someday she may be able to extend the same courtesy to her father?

Perhaps, she thought. But not yet. Not today. The twinkle in his eye told her he knew that, and before she could say anything more, he faded away, with Luke by his side, leaving her alone with the ghosts of her family, a painful reminder of all the many things that would never be.

Turning away, she watched as the sky faded into a deep, somber blue, the sun disappearing over the horizon. She couldn’t let her fear drag her down with it. She would make it through this night, as would Rey, as would Ben. The Force brought them together for balance, it wouldn’t rip them apart before they even had a chance to make things right. She believed that. She had to believe that... 

... It was her only hope.

________________________________________

 _Shit_.

_Shit shit shit shit._

Tizo burst out of the empty cell with his head on a swivel. The girl was gone, the only trace of her was the pile of gifts she’d left stashed under the slab she’d been forced to use as a bed.

He’d been foolish to let Irydisa walk out of his chambers, knowing full well what she intended to do. He should’ve stopped her then. But he hadn’t. And now he’d given her enough time to take the girl.

Kylo was going to kill him, of that he was certain. And quite frankly, he wasn’t sure he could even be mad about it. The girl was valuable, in far more ways than one, and now he’d let her slip through his fingers like sand.

There were a limited number of ways he could break this to his master, and the further he stormed down the hallway toward the elevators, the less time he had to figure out which way was least likely to end with his head separated from his shoulders. He reached for his commlink, resigned as he turned the corner toward the elevator shaft only to come to an abrupt halt.

The girl was standing there, eyes wide as saucers, clearly as shocked to see him as he was her.

They stood there at an impasse for what felt like an eternity, and then suddenly she was on the move, her hand outstretched and reaching for whatever loose object she could use as a weapon nearby.

“Wait!” He called out, raising his arms in surrender. “Wait! Stop! I’m not going to hurt you.”

The girl turned, now holding what appeared to be a trash bin above her head, looking him over suspiciously.

“Why should I trust you?”

Her piercing hazel eyes squinted at him from beneath a deeply furrowed brow and she moved a step back to match his approach.

“My master, Kylo Ren, sent me to find you.”

The girl scoffed, stepping back further into the threshold of the elevator, the bin still held high above her head in warning. “Did he now? Well, you wouldn’t be the first masked stranger I’ve encountered today. So forgive me if I’m less than inclined to trust you.”

“I swear.” Tizo replied earnestly, circling toward her, giving her space to turn and run. “I mean you no harm. I was actually hoping to meet you soon, although admittedly under different circumstances.”

The girl looked feral, like she would jump and strike at the slightest hint of movement from him. Still he continued, reaching out through the force with a soothing hand, hoping to calm her without attracting her attention  “I… I actually think you may know my sister. Or, if not that, then at least where I may be able to find her.”

She dropped the bin slightly, but her glare remained no less poisonous. “Why would I know your sister?”

“She was with the Resistance, last I heard.” Tizo took another small step forward, reaching to remove his helmet. “You were too, if I’m not mistaken.”

The girl’s head tilted, taking in his human face curiously. “Who are you?”

“My name is Tizo Ren.” He answered. “But I once went by the name Max Tico.”

He watched as the girl’s eyes went wide with recognition, her arms lowering the bin down until she cradled it near her chest.

“You.” She stepped forward, the words leaving her tongue with disbelief and awe. “You’re Rose’s brother?”

“I am.” He nodded, relief pulsing through him at the sound of his sister’s name. It vanished as he watched her expression harden.

“The one who abandoned her and her sister?” The words were harsh, and the accusing glare that accompanied them was like a knife to the gut, forcing him to look away in shame.

His eyes fell to her feet as he nodded in admittance of his guilt. “Yes.”

He stood silently with his head hung in shame for a moment that felt like it dragged on forever. Then, finally, she broke the silence with a cold reply.

“She’ll be happy to know you’re still alive.”

Tizo’s head shot up, meeting her cold gaze imploringly.

“So she’s alright?” His voice cracked, “She’s alive?”

“Yes, she’s alive.” The girl nodded stiffly. “No thanks to you.”

He opened his mouth to ask the hundreds of other questions rolling through his brain, but was stopped short by a deep, angry voice yelling out.

“Tizo!”

Both he and the girl turned to find Kylo rushing forward until he cradled the girls face in his hands, searching her over in earnest.

“Rey.” He breathed out, his relief palpable. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did she touch you?”

The girl, Rey, pulled away from him. “What? You suddenly care?”

“ _What_?” Kylo gaped at her. “Are you serious?”

The girl stared him down stubbornly, with resolve Tizo could do nothing but admire as he stood there in rapt attention. When she didn’t reply, Kylo punched the elevator button and grabbed for her hand, dragging her inside.

“What do you think you’re doing!” Rey cried, trying to shake his hand off of her.

Kylo ignored her, tightening his grip slightly. “Tizo, get in here.”

He obliged, awkwardly, and stepped into the elevator as his two companions continued bickering as if he was not there.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing but I am _not_ -”

“You’re leaving.” Kylo’s answer was curt, final.

Rey scoffed. “What do you mean ‘ _I’m leaving_ ’?”

“You’re not safe here anymore.”

“Why? Because _your girlfriend_ is jealous that you’ve been spending so much time with me?”

Tizo steeled his gaze straight ahead, shifting awkwardly.

“My _what!_? You’re not serious right now.”

“You’re right Ben, I’m _joking_.” She crossed her arms and turned away from him, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Rey, I don’t know what she told you, but you shouldn’t listen to a word she said.”

“Well maybe if you’d just told me _the truth_ when I asked about them...”

“I DID tell you the truth!”

Rey laughed harshly. “You said they were your friends! You never said one of them was your lover!”

Tizo raised a hand, attempting to break up the building tension. “If I may interject…”

“SHUT UP!” They yelled at the same time. He promptly dropped his hand and resumed his task of standing in silence as though he was not there.

“Rey,” Kylo’s voice dropped low, pleading with her to listen. “I don’t know what she told you, but it’s not true. She was never my…lover” He stopped, spitting out the word like it made him sick to think about it. “She was at Luke’s temple with me, as was Tizo, and she left with us that night. She is a knight, but that is _all_ she is. That’s all she’s ever been.”

The elevator came to a stop and Tizo stepped out, holding the door as Kylo and Rey stared each other down, her glare softening with each passing moment.

Finally, she turned, stepping out of the elevator with him at her heel. “If she’s just a knight, then I don’t understand why I have to leave.”

Kylo sighed, tired and frustrated and continued pushing her along toward a ship waiting at the far end of the hangar. “Irydisa saw us together. She knows that you’re not just a prisoner here. That you…” His voice dropped low, as if he did not want Tizo to hear the words. “That you mean something to me.”

Tizo stiffened. It was strange enough to see this side of his master. He was flustered and worried. The antithesis of everything Kylo Ren always was. It reminded him of some of his fonder moments at the temple, when Kylo Ren was still Ben Solo, his friend. It was even more astounding to hear him confess his feelings for this girl. Tizo had his suspicions about where Kylo had really been in the days he’d been missing on Naboo, but now he was almost certain he’d been right.

“I don’t see why that makes any difference.” Rey argued as they walked, keeping up with his brisk pace easily. “If she’s loyal to you…”

“She already threatened to bring Vizan into this.” Tizo interjected. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Hux got to her as well.”

Kylo and Rey both looked back at him before turning back to each other.

“Alright.” Rey nodded, “But what about you? How are you supposed to explain my sudden escape?”

Kylo bit the side of his mouth. “I’ll think of something.”

“So you’re telling me you plan to shoot me out into space alone, with no idea where I’m going, while you stay here and fight off your own men?”

“No.” Kylo shook his head. “You won’t be alone. I sent word to the Resistance. They are meeting you at a rendezvous point and taking you back to…”

Rey stopped walking, glaring him down. “You _what_!”

Kylo stopped walking and took her shoulders in his hands imploringly. “Rey, listen to me. I promised to keep you safe. I can no longer keep that promise, not so long as you are here. _Please_ don’t make me force you onto that ship.”

Tizo stopped, turning and pretending to look away as Rey and Kylo gazed at each other with such intimacy that Tizo wished he could simply evaporate into thin air and leave them alone in their longing.

“I won’t leave you.” Rey replied determinedly.

“Rey…” Kylo’s voice was broken, pleading, “ _Please_.”

Doors slid open at the far end of the hangar, drawing all of their attention toward the unmistakable sound of stormtroopers marching their way. Tizo grabbed for his lightsaber, igniting it immediately.

“Sorry to ruin the moment, you two.” He said, crouching low in defensive position. “But I think we’ve got company.”

_______________________________

The ship pulled out of hyperspace easily, a welcome change from the shaky uncertainty of the Millennium Falcon. The Finalizer remained parked in the distance, barely a blip on their sensors, but close enough that Rey’s ship would be able to find them.

Given she was able to get off the Star Destroyer in the first place.

Finn paced the hall outside of the cockpit anxiously, letting his three companions do the flying while he worried himself into a frenzy.

She never should’ve gone with Ren in the first place. It was a terrible, stupid idea. Almost as terrible and stupid as the one they were allowing to play out now. He’d at least had the decency to try and get her away, but Finn knew better than to think this rescue would go off without a hitch. They were banking on the fact that the Finalizer didn’t shoot off into hyperspace at any moment, that its sensors didn’t detect their tiny shuttle waiting in the distance, that Kylo Ren could be trusted to get her off the ship at all, and that he had enough control of his troops to keep them from shooting her out of the sky the moment she left the hangar.

There were too many things that could go wrong. Too many pieces hanging in the balance.

He hated it.

“Finn.” Poe’s voice called out from within the cockpit. “Buddy, calm down. It’s going to be fine.”

“Easy for you to say.” Finn grumbled to himself, turning back into the cockpit where Lando and Chewie were adjusting the ships cloaking signals.

“That should do the trick.” Lando said, leaning back with his hands behind his head. “Man, this ship is a real beaut. I’m beginning to think I joined the wrong side all those years ago.”

Chewie turned to scold the man as Poe shot up out of his seat, clasping Finn by the shoulder. “Come on.” Poe nudged him, “Let’s get a drink. I know I could use one.”

Finn starred ahead, his eyes glued to the giant ship in the distance. It had been his home once. The only home he’d ever known...

He gaze lingered a moment longer and then he turned, following Poe through the ship in silence.

“How did you tolerate living like this for so long?” Poe commented, taking in the sleek black interior of the ship. “It’s so bleak and sterile.”

Finn shrugged distractedly. “Didn’t know any different.”

Poe watched him as he took a seat at the table in the corner of the ship, pouring two glasses of whatever liquor Lando had stashed onboard. He set it down carefully, sitting down beside him and spinning the glass in his hand.

“You can talk about it, you know.” Poe offered, never looking away from Finn’s hunched figure.

Finn sighed, taking the glass in his hand and throwing back a large gulp. It burned in his throat, but the pain was welcome, soothing even.

“There isn’t much to talk about.”

Poe huffed. “Yeah, I highly doubt that.”

Finn sighed, staring down at the brown liquid sloshing in his glass.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Poe offered, placing his hand over Finn’s gently. “But you should talk to someone, someday.”

Finn looked up and was met with Poe’s comforting smile. “It helps. Might not seem like it would, but it does.”

Finn nodded, falling back against the chair with a resigned sigh.

“She was my first friend, you know?”

“Who? Rey?”

“Yeah.” Finn nodded. “She was the first person to look at me like I was a human being, not a soldier.”

Poe leaned back, taking a sip of his own drink as he listened.

“I just…” He started, closing his eyes and resting his head on the wall behind him. “I thought it was my job to protect her from him. And from everything else.”

He opened his eyes to find Poe smirking at him knowingly. “Yeah, well, Rey doesn’t need much protecting does she?”

Finn grunted, shaking his head as he took another drink. “No. She doesn’t.”

“You know,” Poe leaned forward, “Weird as it may sound, I actually trust him with this.”

Finn’s brow furrowed. “You trust _him_? Ren?”

“I mean, generally no. I don’t.” Poe shook his head, looking down into his glass. “But, for some reason, I trust him to take care of her.”

Finn looked at him like he’d just sprouted three heads.

“Just… just hear me out okay?” Poe continued, raising a hand to call for a truce. “I had a dream, or a vision, or _something_ , when I was with Rey in that old Jedi temple.”

Finn raised a brow at him suspiciously.

“I saw him, with her. And they had daughter. A _beautiful_ little girl who knew me and who seemed to know you, and Rose.”

Finn’s eyes shot wide. “ _What_?”

“Yeah, I had the same reaction buddy. But that’s what I saw.” Poe lifted the glass, spinning the last drops in his hand. “I may not have a lot of experience with that sort of thing, but I know devotion when I see it. And that man, he was mad for her.” He threw his drink back and set down the empty glass dramatically. “I know what I would do for her, and I think I know what you would do for her. And yeah, we both love her. But not like he does.”

Finn dropped his head against the table, groaning in denial. Poe was right. He knew it, deep down in the marrow of his bones, he knew it. But knowing it didn’t make him feel any better about the situation they now found themselves in.

“Look buddy,” Poe patted his back with a laugh. “She should be here soon. Then we’ll know for sure.”

Finn stiffened, shooting back up with terror in his eyes. She shouldn’t be here _soon_ . She should be here _now_.

“Poe…” Finn turned to him, “We were in hyperspace for a few hours. Leia said he was evacuating her immediately…”

He watched as Poe came to the same realization he had, his eyes growing wide to match his own.

“ _Kriff_.” He shot up from the table, knocking over his glass and shattering it against the chromatic floor. Finn followed behind him with the same urgency, rushing into the cockpit.

“She should be here by now.” Poe huffed, out of breath, answering Chewie and Lando’s confused expressions.

Lando looked between Poe and Chewie and then settled his gaze upon Finn, whose heart was beating so fast he thought it might burst forth from his chest.

“Something’s wrong.” He muttered, eyes trained dead ahead at the Finalizer stationed in the distance. “We need to go. _Now_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	43. The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux appeared in the command tower above just as the storm troopers poured into the hangar, stopping in formation as they awaited his orders. He was flanked by two knights in the tower, one whom she recognized immediately as Irydisa.

“Well, well, well” Hux tsked over the speaker system, “What have we here? I do believe we’ve caught our traitorous Supreme Leader in a rather compromising position.”

Rey growled as Ben stepped in front of her, blocking her from view. But even his giant body couldn’t hide the look of unadulterated pride that adorned Hux’s smug face.  

“Ah, but it wouldn’t be the first time, now would it?” He continued with a smirk. “No. Tell us Ren. How many acts of treason have you committed to save your Jedi whore? Was killing Supreme Leader Snoke only the beginning of your treachery?”

Tizo spun around, his brow furrowed in confusion, but Ben ignored him, glaring ahead at the red-headed man above.

“I’ve seen the tape Ren.” Hux smirked, “Does that surprise you? Did you really believe you’d destroyed all the evidence?”

Ben said nothing as Rey’s eyes skirted across the hangar. There were at least a few hundred troops waiting for them, but it was hardly all of the troopers on board the ship. There was a chance they could take them.

“And to think, you did it all just to save some desert scum from Jakku. Tell me, Ren, how did she feel when she found out you blamed it all on her? Not very noble of you.”

Rey moved to get in front of Ben, but he threw out his arm to grab her before she could make her move.

“Get in the ship Rey.” He said calmly, his gaze still trained on Hux.

She shot him a glare so piercing it would’ve killed a weaker man and gritted her teeth. “ _I am not getting on that ship_.”

He turned to look down on her then, his eyes pleading. “Rey, please. I won’t ask you again.”

“He’s right.” Tizo added, stepping closer to them as Hux continued to drone on about Kylo’s treachery. “The shields are down. I made sure of it. If you’re going to get out of here, you need to go now.”

Hux’s whiny voice trailed back through the hangar. “He is not fit to rule us. He is not fit to-”

She looked between the two men and scoffed, tuning Hux out and reaching around Ben’s arm. He jerked back to stop her, but was too late. She un-clipped her lightsaber from his belt and spun the familiar handle at her side.

“I’m not leaving you behind Ben.” She stated flatly, leaving no room for argument. “So _stop asking_.”

Tizo smirked and turned back to face the incoming troopers. “Not that my opinion matters, but I like her Master. You should keep her around.”

Ben grunted back at him, but his eyes told a different story, softening with a depth that nearly melted her. Then, they hardened before her eyes, a steely determination to match her own. She could feel the fire brimming within him, but it was not the same as the dark anger that emanated off of him when first they’d met. He was ready for this fight, but not for himself. This was the resolve of a protector, unrelenting in his determination to keep her alive.

With a nod, he reached for his own lightsaber, turning to stand before their opponents.

“Is that all Hux?” He called out, taunting him. “Why don’t you come here and face me yourself?”

Hux huffed, taken aback by his challenge. “Your reign is _over_ Ren. And far too long it was.”

The stormtroopers stomped in unison, drawing their attention back toward the sea of white and black.

“Kill them!” Hux screamed, “And bring me Ren’s head!”

Rey ignited both ends of her lightsaber with a flourish, just as Ben and Tizo’s red blades lit up beside her.

And then the battle began.

Blast after blast came their way, each deflected with practiced ease. The double blade of her saber made for an excellent shield against the onslaught of blaster fire while Ben alternated between the use of his own saber and the sheer force of his will in freezing and deflecting the blasts mid-air.

The troops approached in slow formation, quickly realizing how futile their guns would be in a battle against three force users. Melee weapons quickly replaced blasters on the front lines, drawing them back into a tight defensive position.

 _Stay close to me_. Ben’s voiced echoed inside her head.

 _Where else would I go?_ She smiled up at him with a nod and then they were off, brandishing their weapons like the swords they were, meeting each oncoming parry with one of their own.

__________________________

Irydisa watched from above as Kylo, Tizo, and _the girl_ fought off the onslaught of stormtroopers pouring into the hangar, Hux grinning eagerly at her side.

She’d answered when Hux sent the urgent message, leaving the girl behind in her cell with veiled threats. But she’d been totally unprepared for what she found in the command room. The video of Kylo killing Snoke sparked pride, but it evaporated the moment the tide turned and he was spinning around the room with _her_ , taking out the Praetorian guards with a synchronization that she’d never witnessed before. It was as if they knew the others next move before it happened, always in exactly the right place at the right time, blocking and parrying for each other before breaking apart and taking the guards on individually.

It was no different than the vision she saw before her now, playing out in red and blue below them. Her heart beat fast in jealous indignation as the girl crouched low for Kylo to swipe his saber above her, beheading the incoming trooper while she stuffed her own blade into the chest of the man swinging toward Kylo.

They moved with the speed of light, moving and spinning like they were one body, perfectly in tune with the other.

She’d been watching Ben Solo fight for as long as she could remember, his distinct, physically imposing style taking shape over years spent with Luke and at the temple. She’d watched him spar with the others, as well as with herself, hoping and wishing to one day fight like he did. His style only hardened when he became Kylo Ren. He used his physically imposing stature to intimidate, his brute force to overpower, but still he moved with a flourish reminiscent of the man who trained him. He’d deny it, of course, but the traces of Luke Skywalker were still there.

Irydisa never successfully adapted the same fighting style, though not for lack of trying. She’d come into her own with more speed and finesse, and it had always suited her just fine.

But here she was watching an untrained scavenger girl fight with the same powerful strikes and rough, emotional outbursts as her master. Their fighting styles were a near perfect mirrors of one another. Where he brutal and strong, she was quick and scrappy, but the movements were so similar it was jarring. How was it possible that a girl he’d been training for mere days had mastered an art that she herself had spent years working toward to no avail?

“Is it just me,” Vizan commented dryly from the other side of Hux, “Or does the girl fight just like our master?”

Irydisa growled in anger, clenching her fists at her side. She hated being up here, watching them slice through the troops like butter. They’d made quick work of the Praetorian guards. Mere stormtroopers would be like fighting children.

Fighting other trained force users, on the other hand, would not.

“He’s not your master anymore.” Hux sneered in reply.

Vizan grunted and shrugged his shoulders. He’d never been one for strong attachment, choosing to follow Ben Solo out of the flames to save his own skin above all else. He’d made his choice today in the same vein. Where Tizo and Irydisa’s loyalty lay with Kylo Ren, Vizan would always choose the side he thought most likely to win.

Irydisa simply wanted to see Rey of Jakku separated from her head, and she was tired of waiting for others to do the job for her.

“Your men are weak.” She spat, turning toward Hux with disdain. “I’ll finish her off myself.”

She strode from the command tower, punching the elevator button and ignoring Hux’s indignant cries.

Perhaps he was right. Kylo Ren was not her master anymore. But she would die before she allowed that girl to take control of him. And she would never, ever bend the knee to a man as foul as Armitage Hux.

_____________________________________

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” Hux shrieked after her, his face blotting red with indignation. “I want HIM. If you think you’re going down there, I want HIS head. DO YOU HEAR ME!”

The elevator door closed on the knights masked face, and he let out a feral scream after her.

“Relax General.” the other knight they called Vizan replied evenly. “It’s only a matter of time. They can’t hold them all off forever.”

Hux’s chest heaved, his heavy breaths angry as she spun away from the elevator and stomped over to the ledge of the command tower, looking on with spite at the red and blue swords cutting through the air in a light display that may well have been beautiful if not for the droves of stormtroopers that fell around them.

“You.” He pointed, not bothering to look at the masked knight at his side. “This is taking too long. Get down there. Now.”

Vizan nodded his assent and turned toward the same elevator that Irydisa had disappeared down mere moments before.

Hux looked back just as the doors shut around the knight, acknowledging that he was now alone, with only his two stormtrooper guards to protect him should Ren somehow manage to escape the onslaught taking place below.

He spun back to watch only to see a new ship bursting into the hangar.

He punched the communicator and shrieked out, “You DO NOT have permission to land! Abandon this terminal this instant!”

“No permission needed General.” The smug voice of an all-too familiar Resistance pilot returned, freezing him to his spot.

Hux gaped, watching as the First Order shuttle came careening toward him.

“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”

Before he could even contemplate turning and running, a searing heat flew up his legs, and his entire world was engulfed in darkness.

____________________________________

The ache in her arms was growing as she leaned back against Ben to deliver a hard kick to a stormtrooper’s chest, creating a domino effect as he fell back into the other oncoming attackers.

They’d been lucky so far, able to cover each others backs while Tizo completed the triangle of defense. But the onslaught was brutal, with no end in sight. One small slip up and they would be engulfed by the barrage of fighters coming their way. She wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to keep up.

Ben spun his saber back and below her arm, puncturing a troopers gut just as he was about to deliver a blow to her head, drawing her attention back to the task at hand.

 _Focus_. He urged her, swiping wide in front of him with a hiss.

With a hard swallow, she moved again, ducking low and removing three sets of legs from their owner’s bodies, spinning around and finding an opening, granting her brief a moment to breathe.

The sound of a ship bursting through the shields drew her eyes upward just as Ben’s back thudded against hers, but she dared not look away. It was a First Order shuttle, but she’d know the flying style anywhere.

 _Poe_.

With a blast of the ships cannons, the command tower went up in flames, leaving countless troopers strewn throughout the hangar as the ship came to a skidding halt against the wall.

She looked up at Ben for a moment to find the same look of stunned confusion in his eyes, and then turned around to see Poe, Finn, Chewie and Lando skidding down the gangplank, blasters blazing.

Relief coursed through her as she pushed away, running across the hangar with newfound vigor. “FINN! POE!”

Finn turned and spotted her, a smile lighting up his face as he pushed Poe and began running her way.

“REY!”

She sprinted across the hangar as fast as her legs would carry her, not bothering to look away from her best friend as he grew nearer. He too was running, until suddenly he wasn’t, his eyes blown eyes in fear as he turned back and screamed out to her.

“REY! WATCH OUT!”

She turned just in time to see Irydisa hulking toward her, lightsaber ignited at her side. She lifted it up behind her head just as Rey jumped back, barely missing the fatal blow. She ignited her lightsaber just in time to catch the next swipe, but the power behind in sent her falling back on one knee in an effort to hold her off.

Irydisa pushed down, leaning menacingly above her. “You’ve done well, sand rat.” She purred, “But your competition has been weak.” She stepped back, pulling her mask off and allowing Rey to rise. “It’s time you had a real test.”

She tossed her mask off to the side carelessly and spun her lightsaber at her side, waiting. Rey pushed herself up, breathing hard and glaring at the woman before her.

“I’m not afraid of you.” She said, igniting her own lightsaber and holding it across her chest defensively.

Irydisa smiled menacingly. “Good. This should be fun then.”

Not wasting another moment, Irydisa began to stalk around her like a cat waiting to pounce, forcing Rey to spin on her heels to keep her eyes on her attacker. The sounds of blaster fire echoed around her, mixed with shouts and the familiar cry of a wookie. But none of that mattered now. She had one focus and one focus only, and that was the terrifying woman in front of her.

Tired of waiting, and dizzy from the constant spinning, Rey moved to strike, only to be met by a perfect parry as Irydisa danced around her.

“Come on _Scavenger_ .” She goaded, flicking back Rey’s strikes as if she was fighting a child. “I thought you were better than this. Or is it only when _Ben_ is protecting you?”

The way she used his nickname for her was infuriating, as was way his name dripped off her tongue, and Rey hissed, spinning back and bending low.

“Oh she doesn’t like that.” Irydisa laughed. “Is _he_ the only one who gets to use that pet name?”

Rey gritted her teeth, but did not reply. She had to be smarter. She’d never beat Irydisa if she continued to allow her to get under her skin. It was what she wanted.

“Come on.” Irydisa continued, circling around her once more. “I want a real fight.”

Rey flexed, hardening her muscles and focusing her mind. If Irydisa wanted a real fight, then that was what she would give her.

Seeming to sense her resolve, Irydisa smirked, raising her saber in front of her and then charging ahead.

This time Rey met each blow with equal force, spinning around with the same light-footed speed and agility so as to make it appear as a dance to those who paused long enough to look on.

She watched as the smile slid off Irydisa’s face, replaced by a hardened resolve as she grunted and hissed with each strike. Anger coursed through Rey as she rained blow after blow down upon her, her movements growing more aggressive as the darkness roared to life within.

Even Ben, by far the greatest opponent she’d faced, did not compare to this. He’d never wanted to kill her, and had held back his rage to ensure he didn’t. But this woman _did_. She could feel the difference with each strike, could see the fire burning in her eyes, the hatred emanating out of her through the force. It was dangerous, and it was drawing her own darkness out of her just to match her the blows.

She was losing ground quickly, just barely keeping her hand as Irydisa spun widely, knocking Rey back and giving her just enough time to duck out of the way.

But then she felt a pain in her arm, red hot and stifling, as a familiar roar echoed around them. She turned, watching as Ben stumbled back from the knight he was fighting, and was met with a swift kick to the gut, sending her tumbling backward to the ground.

“You stupid, foolish girl.” Irydisa spat, stepping over top of her with her searing red blade planted firmly in Rey’s face. “You _actually_ think you love him, don’t you?”

Rey stared at the end of the saber, tears forming in her eyes as his pain wracked through her.

“I thought I loved him too, once.” Irydisa continued, sneering as Rey pushed back along the ground in desperation. “But a man like him can’t love. A man like him is hardly _a man_ at all. _He is power_ . Power _you_ do not deserve.”

Irydisa stepped down on Rey’s chest, holding her there. Another sharp pain seared through Rey’s abdomen, but once again she knew it was not her own.

_Ben. Ben please._

“He was not strong enough to end your life in that throne room.” Irydisa continued, pressing down harder on Rey’s chest, constricting her lungs to the point where her breath was no more than a rasp. “I will remedy that mistake.”

Rey closed her eyes. She didn’t need to watch as Irydisa swung her saber back over her head. She could feel the action just fine without her eyes. Instead her mind raced through all of her happiest memories. Memories of her friends. Of Finn, and Han, and Chewie and BB-8. Of Leia and Poe and Rose. She thought of their hugs, their laughs, their gentle smiles and soft eyes.

But it was Ben who stood out above them all.

Ben, who’d come to her amidst her loneliness and fear and reached out across the void to assure his enemy that she was not alone. Who’d defended her, and saved her life more times now than she had time to count. Who brought her books and taught her history and braided her hair with such delicacy that it seemed impossible that he was the same man.

The man who she’d seen in a dream, looking down on her with the kind of love and devotion she never even knew existed. Who took her hand and offered her a home, and a family and a future. A future she wanted more than anything in her entire life. But one that was no longer hers to have.

 _Ben._ She cried out into the dark abyss of their shared consciousness, desperate to hear him one last time.   _I’m sorry_ . _I’m so sorry_.

She had no idea if he heard her, but she swallowed hard anyway, waiting for the black void to come and take her away.

She waited for the end.

But it was an end that never came...

_____________________________________

Ben spun the moment Rey bolted away, freezing the blast that chased after her and redirecting it back toward its owner.

The hangar was in complete chaos, allowing him a brief moment of reprieve to take in the scene. Chewbacca was brandishing his insidious bowcaster across the hangar, flanked by Lando and the pilot, Dameron. For once in his life he was thankful for their recklessness, certain only friends of his father would’ve deigned to pull a stunt so stupid in the first place.

Then his eyes moved over the fiery inferno that engulfed what was once the command tower, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that General Hux had not survived the flames. That left only Vizan and Irydisa to pose any serious threat, sensing their signatures still glowing with life nearby.

It didn’t take him long to find them, his blood going cold with fear as he heard the former stormtrooper, Finn, scream out in warning to Rey just as Irydisa swung forward to land a devastating blow.

Anger coursed through him at the sight of Rey on her knees below his Knight. Where once he would’ve endured unspeakable pain to spare the girl he’d trained with, now his bloodlust settled firmly upon her, with silent promises to end her if she left so much as a bruise on Rey’s body.

He stalked toward them with a growl, sending three stormtroopers flying backward with the flick of his wrist, choking another before tunneling his vision forward with single-minded focus.

“Not so fast _Master_.” The distorted voice of his last remaining Knight goaded from behind him, forcing him to a halt. “I’d leave the ladies to their catfight if I were you.”

“Vizan.” He growled, low and dangerous, gripping his lightsaber tighter in his hand as he stiffened.

“I thought you’d like watching them fight over you.” Vizan continued, spinning his saber in his hand almost casually. “But then, you never were like the rest of us, were you?”

He was trying to distract him, to keep him away long enough to give Irydisa her chance, and leaving Ben no choice. One way or another he would end up fighting Vizan. The sooner he ended the traitors life, the better.

And so he spun around and swung forward with all his pent up anger, recklessly throwing his weight around. Vizan was as big and strong as he was, his fighting style far more similar than Rey’s or even Irydisa’s. He needed to overpower him, and fast, or he’d be left at a stalemate. Something he could not risk.

But he was distracted, pulled away each time he heard Rey grunt from afar, or felt fear pange in their shared consciousness. It gave Vizan the opportunity he needed, and Ben let out a roar as the red blade tore across his left arm, sending him careening backward clumsily.

Vizan stalked forward, bringing his saber up to deliver a brutal blow. Ben stammered back, focusing on his pain and using it to drive him, lifting his arm with as much strength as he could muster to block the blow. Only the blow never came. It was blocked by another red saber, and Ben turned to watch Tizo push back on Vizan, engaging him with a kick to the legs as he stalked toward the man who was once their brother.

“Go.” Tizo said calmly, eyes focused ahead on his opponent. “I’ll handle him.”

Rasping with relief, Ben turned, swallowing back a cry of anguish as he held his half ruined arm together with sheer force of will. His eyes scanned the room with desperation, blinking away the smoke and flames, blocking out the sounds of blaster fire and the smell of death and decay.

He faltered when he finally found them, his heart stopping at the sight of Rey on the ground below Irydisa, crawling backward unarmed as the deadly red blade lit up her terrified face.

 _No_.

He scrambled to his feet, stumbling clumsily but still gripping his blade at his side. He fell to his knees as a stray blast grazed his side, but rose quickly, merely grunting as the smell of his own burning flesh wafted through his nose. He didn’t have time for his own pain now. Only Rey. He had to get to Rey.

He stumbled closer, until he was near enough to hear the words pouring out from Irydisa’s unmodulated voice.

“He was not strong enough to end your life in that throne room.” She sneered coldly. “I will remedy that mistake.”

He watched Rey’s beautiful hazel eyes scrunch closed as Irydisa swung her blade over her head to deliver the final blow, her voice, clear and soft, echoing in his head as if she was next to him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

_Ben. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._

He lunged forward with all the strength he had left, piercing through the black armor with ease. The sword dropped from Irydisa’s hands immediately, her mouth falling open in shock as she looked down at her torso, then up at him in disbelief.

“You fool.” She spat, blood beginning to curdle on her tongue. “You could’ve had _everything_ . And you give it all up. For a _nobody_.”

“No.” He heaved, extinguishing his blade and collapsing down to the hard floor with her, his good hand reaching to cover his charred skin. “She’s not. Not to me.”

Irydisa’s green eyes, once so familiar to him, now held nothing but hatred. And it was with that hatred in her eyes that she collapsed, the searing hole in her stomach cauterizing to her sleek armor, her head falling back with a pathetic thud.

It was strange, seeing her like this. Of all his knights, she had always been the most loyal. The most willing to do whatever he asked. And yet, here at the end, she was the one who had most betrayed his trust. He did not regret killing her, not like he did his father, no. But there was still something profoundly sad about her dilapidated body, twisted unnaturally in death.

But then he turned to Rey, and none of it mattered anymore. She was staring at him, eyes blown wide, mouth gaping.

“Ben.” She breathed, shifting on her knees to crawl toward him.

“Rey,” He gasped, relief pouring through him. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, fat, wet tears dripping down her cheeks as her eyes trailed down his body. “You’re hurt.”

He looked down at himself for the first time, letting out a weak huff of laughter as he took in the disturbing sight and shrugged. “I’ve had worse.”

That might’ve been true. But this time was different. Where he’d used his pain and hatred to hold his insides together on Starkiller base, now he had none to give. There was too much light in him now, and he lacked the monstrous rage required to save himself. He would die here, today, of these injuries. And for some reason, that seemed right to him.

Rey moved carefully, positioning herself beneath him, his head falling softly in her lap, her tears falling onto his face wantonly.

“Ben.” She shook her head, carding her fingers through his hair. “We’ll get you out of here. It’ll be alright. I promise it will.”

He coughed, tasting blood, and shook his head.

“No.” She cried, her voice thick and wet. “No...”

“Rey,” He whispered gently, reaching up with his good arm to cradle her face. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

“No!” She shook her head forcefully, her whole body shaking beneath him. “You don’t get to leave me! You promised! You… you promised me I wouldn’t be alone.”

“I know.” He answered softly, swallowing back the blood. “And you won’t be. Your friends are here. They’ll take you back…”

“No.” She said, more forcefully this time. “ _You_ promised me. _You_ . So _you_ don’t get to leave me.”

He met her hazel eyes, red from crying, but no less beautiful. He could’ve stared into them forever. In a way he would, for the rest of his life anyway, however short that time may be.

He brushed away her tears, memorizing the way her freckles formed constellations on her cheeks. He could feel himself slipping away, and she only gripped him tighter, bending herself forward until her forehead crushed itself to his.

“Please Ben.” She begged, “ _Please_ don’t leave me.”

His eyes began to flutter shut, but he held them open as long as he could, waiting for her to meet his gaze one last time. When finally she did, he smiled at her weakly.

“Nobody is ever really gone Rey.”

He heard her pitiful gasp as she buried her face in his hair, her whole body shaking through her sobs. He thought of his father then, of his mother, of the man who’d finally sent him on his path back home.

_“What is that you truly want?” Anakin Skywalker had said to him. “Only when you understand that will you see the path forward.”_

In the end, he’d gotten what he wanted. He’d gone home. He’d seen his mother again. And he’d saved Rey. He wanted so badly to save her from the pain she felt now, but he knew he couldn’t. It was for the best. Rey would go on, just as he’d promised. She would be safe, and alive, and free. Free from him, from the bond, from that terrible hold he had on her.

She could finally be happy.

And so, when finally the darkness came, he took its hand willingly, letting it welcome him home like an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now would I really do that to you?
> 
> ....
> 
> (The answer is yes. Yes I would)
> 
> <3 <3 <3


	44. The Time Lost

 

If any of Poe Dameron’s commanding officers were to try and describe the roguish pilot in one word, a few would almost certainly top the list: Rash, impulsive, reckless.

The actions that spawned from those traits had more or less defined his life up to this point. It was his version of a catchphrase, or maybe even a nervous tick. Give the man a blaster, or a ship, or a few good men, and odds were he’d get himself into trouble. Just as likely, at least up to this point, was the fact that he’d somehow manage to get away unscathed.

But of all the reckless, hair-brained, and frankly suicidal plans he’d finagled his way through in his 34 years, this one was far and away the craziest.

If, against odds that decreased exponentially the closer they got to the Finalizer, he managed to make it back to Naboo alive, Leia was going to do far worse than demote him.

And honestly, he couldn’t blame her. Their plan was that stupid.

Which was why, the moment they managed to make it into the one hangar that was lit up like a meteor shower, guiding them toward what could only be a fight, he’d blasted out the command tower without a second thought and then promptly lost control of the ship.

“Ah come on!” Lando pulled himself off the floor with a groan as Poe flew out of the cockpit. “You couldn’t have at least _tried_ to save this beauty? Do you have any idea what I had to do to get my hands on her?”

He’d ignored the comment, and skidded through the halls to meet Chewie and Finn, waiting at the gangplank, blasters in hand. With a final nod of acknowledgement, Chewie punched the door and then they too were a part of the fray, met immediately with smoke, blaster fire and the smell of burning bodies.

Somewhere in the chaos, he heard Rey call for them, turning to watch Finn go sprinting off toward the girl with the blue lightsaber.

Then everything erupted.

A red blade came shooting out to meet blue as Finn screamed out for Rey. Another familiar crackled blade spun in circles in the distance, doing battle with yet another red saber, being chased down by a fourth. Poe managed to hold Finn back, with help from Lando, as Chewie rained fire down upon the incoming stormtroopers with his bowcaster.

“Rey!” Finn pushed away, fighting out of their grip. “Let me go! REY!”

The managed to hold Finn back while still shooting, making it to the underside of a TIE-fight and using the wing as a shield.

Then Chewie let out a terrible roar, causing them all look up at Rey, fleeing on the ground as a menacing figure hovered above her.

“REY!” This time it was Poe who let out the desperate cry, held back by Lando as they all watched in horror.

The blasts did not stop, preventing them from running to help her, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. They were too far away to reach her, as the vicious red laser sword swung back over the head of her attacker, poised for the kill.

And then it fell, the cross-guard blade of Kylo Ren piercing the black armor, both bodies collapsing in black piles on the ground.

Finn broke free then, and none bothered to stop him, too stunned by the scene as Rey crawled over to Kylo Ren and cradled his body in her lap.

Before Poe was even consciously aware of what he was doing, his feet had him following after Finn, distracting fire away from Rey.

When finally they reached her she was distraught, sobbing over the broken body she held in her arms.

“Rey.” He spoke softly, reaching up to grab her shoulder. “Rey, we have to go.”

“No…” She shook her head desperately, her face still buried in his hair. “No, no, I won’t. I won’t leave him.”

Poe looked down at the body for the first time, noting the blaster wound at his side, the terrible red burn through half of his left arm.

“Rey…” He gulped, knowing what he was looking at. “He’s gone.”

Her eyes shot up to meet his, red and burning. “No.” She fired back. “He’s still alive. I… I know he is. He’s alive and _I am not_ leaving him.”

Poe looked back, meeting Finn and Lando’s weary glances, and then turned back to her with a nod.

“Ok. We won’t leave him. But we still have to go.”

“Get on that ship.” Another, unfamiliar voice sounded behind him, and they all turned, training their blasters on the approaching man, his hands held up in surrender, but his red blade still lit up. “It was meant for Rey.” The man continued. “It’s ready to go.”

“Who are you?” Finn moved to block Rey from view, blaster pointing straight at the man’s chest.

“Tizo Ren.” He stated, with a tinge of regret. “I’m here to help, if you’ll let me.”

“Please.” Rey’s small voice sounded from beside him, and turned to see her pleading eyes looking toward the man. “Max… please.”

They let him pass, guns still trained on him, and he bent down to look at Ren’s limp body, placing a hand over his head, his eyes closed.

“Do you…” Rey trailed off, her voice barely above a whisper.

The man’s eyes opened and he looked at her, nodding firmly.

Rey let out a sob, carding a hand through Ren’s hair.

“But we don’t have long.” The man who called himself Tizo looked up toward them. “Can any of you fly that shuttle?”

Poe scoffed, standing. “Of course.”

“Alright.” Tizo nodded, igniting his saber quickly to deflect an incoming blast. “Get him on the ship. I’ll hold them off.”

Chewie let off a few more shots, and then bent down, taking Ren’s body from Rey’s lap and lifting him up with ease.

Lando followed after them, protecting his back as Finn helped Rey off the floor.

“Come on Rey.” He urged, pulled her toward the shuttle. She held back, grabbing Tizo’s arm and holding him firmly.

“You are coming with us.” She said, leaving no room for denial.

Tizo’s eyes grew wide. “Are you… you’re sure?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “We won’t leave without you.”

Poe and Finn exchanged a hesitant glance but neither bothered to question her, turning and running after Chewie, shooting back at the dwindling number of stormtroopers that remained in the hangar.

The moment they were safely onboard the ship, Poe left Finn to help Rey and bolted toward the cockpit. Lando was already there, readying the controls.

“How about this for an upgrade?” Poe remarked, throwing himself down into the captain's chair.

Lando smirked. “Consider this payment for ruining the last one.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He replied, turning on a few additional settings and lifting them off the hangar floor just enough to turn the ship toward the exit. “Wouldn’t want a First Order ship anyway.”

He met Tizo’s eyes below him, watching as the man deflected one last blast before running under the ship. He felt the slight dip as he jumped onboard, and as soon as the computer system indicated that the gangplank was closed, Poe turned the ship and blasted out of the hangar. One smooth jolt later and the black void of space transformed into a blue blur of passing star systems, speeding them across the galaxy.

_____________________________________

The sensation had jolted her from her sleep, unmistakable and devastating.

 _Ben_.

Her son’s distinct force signature was teetering on the edge, about to fall over into the abyss. He was hurt. He was dying. Or was he already dead?

No. He wasn’t dead. Not yet. She would know. She would feel it.

She met the shuttle in the hangar hours later, certain her heart would burst from the anxiety. Chewie carried her son’s limp body down the gangplank, flanked by Finn and Lando. Rey followed closely behind, her body shaking and her eyes bloodshot.

The moment she met the girl’s eyes, they erupted into tears, and she rushed forward to envelope Rey in her embrace.

“He… I… He can’t… I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Shhh.” Leia gently rocked Rey in her arms, her own tears welling up in her brown eyes. “It’s not your fault.”

Rey continued to shake her head, her body shivering in Leia’s arms as she guided her out of the hangar, leading them all toward the palace medbay.

The queen was waiting there, solemn, gesturing to Chewbacca to take Ben inside.

Leia relinquished Rey, letting the girl go to the window, her hand raised against the glass as Chewie stepped back out of the med bay and joined Finn, Poe and Lando nearby.

Milané placed a hand on Leia’s arm, meeting her eyes imploringly. “Whatever you need, it is yours.”

Leia smiled weakly, and nodded. “Thank you, your majesty.”

Then she turned, standing beside Rey as they watching helplessly from the behind the glass while the med droids poked and prodded Ben from beyond, shoving various tubes and needles into him, trying to jolt him awake.

Hours passed, and eventually they fell down to the floor below the window, exhaustion taking hold. Leia held Rey’s hand in her own, letting the girl cry against her shoulder as she drifted in and out of a restless sleep.

Lando, Poe, and Finn came and went, filling in the details when Rey drifted off, bringing her food and water, none of which she touched. Chewie never left their side, pacing the hallway as they waited, with bated breath, to learn the fate of the man they all loved.

And they did _all_ love him. She didn’t need Rey to say the words to know it was true.

She’d been half asleep when finally the door slid open and a med droid exited into the hallway. Chewie groaned, jolting Rey awake. She stood clumsily, pulling Leia up with her.

“Is he...” Rey’s voice cracked.

“His injuries were considerable.” the droid stated flatly. “He should’ve died from impact, if not from the loss of blood.”

Rey let out a sob as Leia’s stomach dropped.

“But…” She urged on.

“But, somehow, he managed to hold on until you got him here. After a night in the bacta tank,  we expect he will make a full recovery.”

Leia turned to Rey, her eyes blow wide in shock before she fell forward, grabbing hold of her and pulling her into the tightest hug she’d ever given, both woman breaking down in tears of relief. Chewie’s furry arms wrapped around both of them, lifting them up for a moment as Rey let out a yelp of surprise.

Once their feet returned to solid ground, Rey rushed to the door of the medbay, pressing it open and running inside. Leia turned to Chewie, smiling up at her oldest remaining friend, wrapping her arms around him.

“Thank you Chewie.”

Chewie shook his head, groaning in disagreement.

“I know she did.” Leia laughed and nodded against his furry stomach. “And if one of them doesn’t work up the nerve to tell the other how they feel soon, so help me I’m going to do it for them.”

Chewie laughed heartily and picked her up again, guiding her inside the med bay, toward her son, who had somehow, inexplicably, found his way home once again.

_____________________________________

The palace was enormous. A stunning marble work of art that she’d spent recent days marveling over to her heart’s content. She’d never been anywhere half as beautiful, and she was quite certain that she’d never find anything quite like it ever again.

But now she found it daunting, getting herself lost as she ran through the halls, desperate to find her friends.

She’d never forgive Finn for leaving without telling her what he was doing. She’d never forgive any of them for being so impulsive that they’d try to take on the whole First Order inside one of their own ships. She’d probably forgive Rey for needing rescuing in the first place, but she’d need a little time before she’d let that go completely. All of this was completely avoidable, after all. If only her friends weren’t so stubbornly brave.

Then again, she thought with a smirk, that was probably what she liked about them in the first place. They were all loyal to a fault, willing to put their lives on the line if it meant saving one of their own. It was dumb, and foolish, and frankly infuriating. But she loved them for it.

So yeah, she’d probably forgive them all eventually.

Just not today.

And maybe tomorrow too, since at the rate she was going, she wasn’t likely to find anyone today.

The long hallways were made to seem even more endless as a result of the sky-high ceilings and enormous, open windows. It felt like it would never end. She debated if she’d have more luck jumping out in the jungle below. Maybe then she’d at least be able to make her way back to the front door.

When finally she reached the next corner, she was met with a rush of noise, the first she’d heard aside from her own footsteps in what felt like ages.

A rush of people came pouring out of a large doorway heading in the opposite direction, with a familiar Wookie leading the pack, a large figure lying limp in his arms. Finn, Poe and Lando trailed after him, and Leia followed soon after, with Rey wrapped up in her arms, sobbing.

Rose rushed forward, her fast steps turning into a run as her friends continued away. She was almost to the door they’d turned out of when another figure, clad in all black, stepped out. She skidded to a halt as the man turned to look at her, tensing for a moment until their eyes met.

She knew those eyes. She’d seen them staring back at her countless times. On her sister’s face, or her own in the mirror. And before all that, on someone else entirely…

“Rosie?” The man stepped forward, his expression one of awe as he whispered her brother’s old nickname for her like a prayer. “Is that you?”

Rose froze, her mouth gaping open in shock.

“Mm-Max?” She stuttered as he inched closer.

He huffed softly, a light laugh leaving him as he took in her face. “You’ve grown so much.” She watched as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously.

She reached up, hesitating for a moment, before she brushed her hand along his cheek, gasping at the contact. “You’re alive?”

He nodded, placing his gloved hand over hers. “I am.”

Her mind was racing, running through her memories of her brother. He’d disappeared one night, with no explanation. No goodbye. She was too young to understand then, but the older she became, and the more she pressed, the more Paige’s resentment rang clear, telling a story that her words never would. It was easier to think he was dead than to believe that he’d truly left them. And so that's what she told herself. Max was dead. He was never coming back. It took a while, but eventually she’d accepted that.

Or so she’d thought.

But now he was here, standing in front of her, in a uniform she suddenly recognized, an eerie silver hilt hanging by his side.

She flinched, pulling her hand away as she stepped back, fear quickly replacing what should’ve been joy.

“You left us.” She uttered in disbelief, the truth suddenly dawning on her. “You… you left us for the First Order? _For Snoke_?”

“No.” Max shook his head rapidly, reaching forward to take her shoulders. “No, that’s… that’s not what happened.” She stepped back, keeping him from touching her. He flinched at her rejection, but pulled back, resigned.

“Then explain yourself.” She pushed angrily, unwanted tears welling up in her eyes.

“I…” He shook his head, seemingly unsure where to start. “It’s complicated Rosie. You have to know that. You have to know I wouldn’t have left you if I didn’t have to.”

She turned away, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly, sniffling to hold down her tears.

“I was endangering you.” He sighed dejectedly, “I had this power that I had no control over. And I kept getting in trouble.”

She remembered that, vaguely. She remembered being thrown out of the way of falling rocks by nothing but the air. She remembered overlords falling to their knees, hands clutching for their bare necks whenever one of them tried to hurt Paige or threatened to punish her. She remembered things bursting whenever Max got angry, and watching in awe when he’d make things float in the air to entertain her, telling her it was a magic trick. That he’d teach her how to do it someday, if she was good.

And she remembered watching as they beat him, each and every time something happened that couldn’t be explained. She remembered Paige holding her, trying and failing to shield her from seeing what they were doing to him. How he’d take it, even though he didn’t have to, to protect them. Always to protect them.

“Master Skywalker found me one night, along with his nephew Ben.” Max continued. “He told me he could teach me how to control it. And that, when I was ready, I’d be able to use my power to rescue you and Paige from the mines. And so I went. I went to the Jedi temple and I trained, always with the intention to come back for you.”

Rose lifted her eyes to meet his, seeing the sadness there and knowing that no part of his story was a lie.

“Things…” he hesitated, looking away. “Things went wrong, and I followed Ben out of the fire. We became the Knights of Ren, and we went to Snoke for training. But it wasn’t what we thought it would be. And he tried to use us against each other. Finally, Ben, by that point Kylo Ren, my master… he’d had enough. He sent us away, claiming we were going on missions for the First Order. Really, though, he was protecting us from his master. He was leaving himself to bare the torture alone.” Max turned, his fists clenching at his side as his voice hardened. “He sent me back to Hays Minor, under the guise of a spy mission. But I knew better. He was fulfilling his uncle’s promise to me, and letting me try to fulfill my promise to Paige.”

His voice quivered over her name, and she knew that he already knew what happened to her. She was grateful for that at least. She wouldn’t have to say the words that were still too painful to be uttered aloud.

“When I got there, you were both gone.” He looked up at her then, his expression one of profound shame. “I assumed that I was too late, that you were both dead, and I found no record to the contrary. So I killed them. All of them. And I returned to do my master’s bidding, hating myself for failing you.”

The tears were falling, hot and heavy down her face now, and she let them, unable to stop the overwhelming sadness that washed over her as she listened to him.

“I felt her, the day she…” he trailed off, swallowing and looking down toward his feet. “I felt her pass on. And that was when I realized I’d been wrong. That you were out there still. That you’d escaped somehow. And so I dug through all the First Order records I could get my hands on until I found holos of you and Paige with the Resistance.”

Rose held herself tightly, letting out a sob. He’d tried to find them. He’d failed, but he’d tried. He hadn’t left them completely alone.

“By that time, Kylo had brought the girl, Rey, back. He was protecting her, for some reason. And so I made up my mind. I would remain loyal to my master, even while my fellow knights fell away. I would stay loyal to him, and I would help the girl, because I knew...” He looked up timidly again. “I knew she was the only way I’d ever get to see you again.”  

She met his gaze, his own eyes filled with tears as his voice broke. “That was all I wanted Rose. I just wanted to see you again. To know you were safe.” He sighed deeply, looking away again. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I won’t ask for it. Seeing you here, safe and protected…” he nodded, as if he was convincing himself, a sad smile pulling his lips upward. “That’s enough.”

But it wasn’t. Not for her. She thought she’d lost him once. And now, with Paige truly gone, she thought she was all alone. But she didn’t have to be. She didn’t _want_ to be. She’d longed for the safety of her brother’s big strong arms since she was a little girl. She’d wondered, endlessly, where he might be, what he might be doing. She’d loved him unconditionally, even when it seemed like Paige could not. And she’d forgiven him, long ago, for leaving them, whether by choice or by force. Nothing he said today would change that. They had a lot to catch up on and it would take time to rebuild her trust in him. But he was still here, and she meant to keep it that way.

So she stepped forward and took his hand, watching his brows shoot up as he looked down at their interlocked fingers, and then up to her eyes, a thousand questions burning behind them.

“I do forgive you.” She said, throwing her arms around him and feeling him stiffen. “Just don’t leave me again.”

He hesitated a moment, seemingly unsure, but she just squeezed tighter until he wrapped his own arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temples before burying his head in her shoulder and pulling her tightly against his chest with a sigh of relief.

“Never.” He promised defiantly, his tears falling softly on the exposed skin of her neck “I’ll never leave you again.”

“Good.” She said, nodding against him. “Because if you do, I’ll have to kill you.”

He tilted his head, pulling back in surprise, but Rose could only smile.

“What?” She teased, “You didn’t really think you were the only one that spent the last decade learning how to fight did you?”

_____________________________________

It was a strange sensation, dying.

He’d expected something a little more… final. Like a perpetual darkness, a silence beyond all comprehension.

Instead, he felt serene. Serene and warm, in a darkness that felt more like a womb than a deep pit of despair. His body felt suspended, as if it was healing itself, which was a funny thing considering he had no need for it anymore.

If this was death, well, he didn’t deserve it. But he supposed he’d take it, strange as it was.

Until it wasn’t. The blissful warmth was gone as quickly as it came. His body felt heavy, his limbs weak, a poking sensation pressed into his arms and then…

Wait…

His eyes opened first, with a start, and then the rest of his body shot up after them, immediately regretting the jarring movement as his left arm collapsed under his immense mass.

“Agh! Kriff!”

“Careful, careful.” a small hand rushed to cradle his shoulder, holding him up.

He turned, startled to find his mother’s face mere inches from his own, her bright brown eyes staring back him, a smile finding its way onto her face.

“Mmm-mom?” He stuttered in disbelief.

“Yes sweetheart. I’m here.”

His mind raced along with his eyes, taking in the room around him. He recognized the style of furniture immediately, the green trees blowing outside the window native to only one planet that he knew: Naboo. But if he was on Naboo, then that meant he was alive. And if he was alive, then that meant…

He turned back to his mother, her kind eyes never leaving him.

“Rey…” He rasped, his voice scratchy and painful from disuse. “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine.” Leia nodded, smiling knowingly. “She hasn’t left your side in days. I only just convinced her she needed to eat, and sleep.”

Ben felt his whole body relax. That sounded like his Rey. Stubborn to the point of starvation. He smiled as he let his body fall back down against the plush pillows. Somewhere, his brave, beautiful Rey was sleeping, on a bed like this one, getting the rest she so deserved. She was alive. She was safe. She’d… she’d saved his life.

“How long was I out?”

“Three days.” Leia answered, “And a lot has happened in that time.”

He looked to her, beckoning her to continue.

“You had more loyal generals than expected.” She turned away with a smirk, leaving the bed to retrieve a holopad from across the room. “They have gathered here, on Naboo, at the invitation of Queen Milané.”

His brow furrowed, “How did they know to come here?”

“One of your knights came back with Rey and the others. Turns out he’s the brother of one of our own.”

Ben’s brows shot up in surprise. “What?”

“Yes.” Leia nodded, typing something on the holopad. “Max Tico is his name, correct?”

Ben stiffened. He had not heard that name since the Jedi Temple. He knew Tizo had sisters that he’d left behind in the mines. But he never knew they were with the Resistance. He’d been grateful for Tizo’s loyalty, and he’d never questioned its origin. But now it all made sense. He wanted to get back here, to find his sister. And he needed Rey to do it.

“Anyway,” Leia continued, breaking through his reverie as the edge of the bed dipped to accommodate her. “He sent word back to your generals, and told them of Hux’s mutiny. They took control of your fleet and then came here, to await your orders.”

She looked up at him then. “So, Supreme Leader.” Her eyes glimmered teasingly, but he sensed the tension in her words. “What will it be? Can we finally have peace?”

He huffed, sitting back up carefully and looking down at the holopad in his mother’s arms. It was a peace treaty, merely a draft, but it was there.

Looking up and meeting her eyes, he nodded. “Yes.”

The spike of pride that lit up her face tore through him, nearly knocking him back yet again. Her smile was restrained, and she looked away before her tears could be made plain, but he felt them anyway.

Reaching up tentatively, he wiped away a stray tear with a thick, calloused thumb. Leia stiffened beneath him, surprised by the action, but then she closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely as her own hand came to hold his against her cheek.

“Mom…” he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead in her hair, just as he always did as a young boy, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, letting out a cry as she pulled him down into her embrace. They held each other there, speaking all the words that couldn’t be said aloud. She thought she’d lost him. He thought he’d been lost. But now they were here, and they had a job to do.

Leia pulled back first, taking his face in her hands, running a thumb down across his scarred cheek.

“When you’re ready, we will be waiting for you.”

He nodded, taking the holopad from her hands as she got up off the bed. She crossed the room, leaving him to get ready in his own time, but hesitated when she reached to door.

“Ben?” She turned back.

He looked up at her expectantly.

“You still haven’t told Rey, have you?”

He gulped, looking down shamefully before shaking his head.

Leia nodded, as if she’d already known the answer. “I think it’s time.” She said firmly. “Women always find out the truth.”

He looked up to find her smiling at him mischievously. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did promise you a happy ending, didn't I? ;)


	45. The New Beginning

Consciousness came with a hazy orange glow, her eyes fluttering open to find her body cocooned in the comfort of soft sheets. With a reluctant stretch of her limbs, she realized that she had, in fact, needed sleep. And despite her protests to the contrary, her body was thanking her for it.

Rey rolled over under the covers, seeking to bury herself deeper within the silky cavern, humming contentedly as she tried to block out the setting sun illuminating her room in an effort to drift back to sleep.

Wait...

She shot up with a jolt, throwing herself out of the bed only to find herself restrained by the tangle of sheets holding her right leg hostage. Her heart pounded in her chest as she freed herself, glaring out at the sun setting over the horizon.

Cursing herself, she threw on the nearest set of clean clothes she could find and rushed from the room, not bothering to take a second glance at the ratty mess of hair that fell knotted at her neck.

They’d moved Ben to a guest room following his overnight stay in the bacta tank, but as of the night before, he’d yet to wake. The medical staff ensured her that his vitals were fine, that his body had healed, that it was only a matter of time. But as hours turned into days, Rey became increasingly convinced that he wouldn’t come back to her. And she refused to leave his side until he made up his mind.

There was a steady stream of visitors throughout the three days she stayed at his side. Her friends tried to get her to eat, to sleep, to get up and at least walk around. All of their pleas fell on deaf ears. Only Leia and Chewie allowed her to stay in silence, joining her for hours at a time as they waited for him to wake.

It wasn’t until she’d fallen off the stool she sat upon in the middle of the night that Leia insisted she sleep, threatening to force her if she didn’t go on her own. Rey, in a state of delusion from her lack of food and rest, reluctantly obliged, and found herself being guided to another room just down the hall by a particularly chatty Threepio, ensured that Ben would be there when she woke in the morning, or, as it turned out, _evening_ now.

So it was only natural that she returned to that room, expecting to find Ben lying where she left him, with Leia sitting by his bedside holding vigil in her stead.

Instead she was met with three handmaids, a bed that was being stripped, and a room devoid of all signs of Ben Solo.

“Where is he?” She demanded, swallowing back the fear that was threatening to overtake her.

The maids looked between themselves for a moment before the one closest to her turned her way.

“The man! The man who was staying here! Tall, dark, and unconscious!” Rey began to sputter. “What happened to him?”

Two of the maids looked to each other as a look of recognition passed between them.

“You must be referring the Supreme Leader.”

“Yes!” Rey exclaimed, “Where is he? Is he alright?”

“I’m sorry Mistress.” The girl said softly, “We do not know where he is. We were simply told to clean the room.”

She was going to faint. Perhaps not eating for three days had not been such a brilliant plan afterall. Ben was gone, and that meant one of two things: either he woke up, or he didn’t. And she refused to let herself believe it was the later. Someone would’ve told her… she would’ve felt it… she would’ve…would’ve….

BB-8’s distinctive beeping saved her from falling too deeply, pulling her eyes up to watch as the little orange and white ball whizzed to her side, insisting she follow after him.

Without a second glance into the bedroom, she did, running to keep up with the little droid as he zoomed through the halls of the palace.

“BB-8!” She called after him, “Where are we going? What’s going on?”

Beeping wildly, BB-8 spun around another corner, leaving Rey flustered in her attempt to keep up.

“What do you mean they’re in a meeting? What meeting? And who is they?!”

Her question was answered as an enormous door slowly pulled open against the wall of the large hall she’d just turned into. Bodies began to pour out, with Poe and Finn emerging to greet an excitable BB-8. He must’ve said something about her, because Poe looked toward her with a smile and stood, walking toward her as Finn trailed behind.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Poe teased, pulling her into a hug. “Glad to see someone finally talked you into taking care of yourself.”

Rey grunted as Finn pulled her into an even firmer hug, her gaze trained over his shoulder, searching desperately for another man.

“Where is he?” She asked earnestly, pulling back from Finn and turning toward the door. “Is he alright?”

Poe and Finn exchanged a knowing smirk.

“Yeah.” Finn nodded. “He’s awake.”

Rey felt her whole body sag with relief as she dropped her head into Finn’s shoulder.

“You missed a hell of a day.” Poe continued, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

She peaked up at him, inquiring silently.

“We are actually going to do this.” He shook his head in disbelief. “We are actually going to sign a treaty and end this thing.”

Rey looked up at Finn with a frown. “End it? How can we do that? Ben was attacked by his own men. He doesn’t even have control of the First Order.”

“Actually, he does.” Finn squeezed her shoulder gently. “He had a number of loyal generals, and they took back control after we escaped. They’ve gathered here as well.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, I was surprised too.” Poe shook his head fondly. “But it’s true. That knight you brought back with you called them in. They’ve taken care of securing the First Order while Ren’s been out.”

Rey stiffened at the mention of Max Tico, pulling back from Finn. “Do you… do you know who he is? Has Rose…”

“He found her, yeah.” Finn nodded, smiling slightly. “Hard to believe her long lost brother was with Kylo Ren this whole time.”

Poe shook his head, “Crazy really. But it’s all worked out. A little too well if you ask me. But I’ll take it.”

It did seem impossible, but then, all of this would’ve been impossible to her not so long ago. If what they said was true, and the First Order was still in Ben’s hands, then they could still do this. They could end this war once and for all. But she still hadn’t seen Ben. And until she did, it all seemed to hang in the balance.

Sensing how distracted she was, Poe laughed. “Kriff Rey, I know we aren’t the leader of the galaxy, but could you try a little harder to act like we matter?”

She balked, ready to deny it only to be met with two teasing smiles.

“Really Rey. We get it. Go.” Poe smiled, shoving her fondly toward the door. She returned his smile with her own grateful one, spinning on her heels to find the Queen walking her way, flanked by an army of handmaidens and guards.

Queen Milané appear even more regal than she had been the first time Rey had seen her in the hangar. Her face was painted white with red dots on either cheek and red paint down the center of her lower lip. Her hair was adorned with jewels that hung heavy upon her enormous hairstyle, only to be outdone by the stunning purple gown that trailed behind her. She looked small inside of the velvet encasing, but she held herself with such grace that Rey couldn’t help but fall into a deep bow, trying to recall which title Ben had used when he’d addressed the queen before.

“Your majesty.”

The queen smiled, “There is no need for that Master Rey”

Rey straightened with a frown. “Just Rey is fine.”

“As you wish.” The young woman turned toward her handmaidens with a gesture and they all bowed, stepping away to leave space for her to talk to Rey with some degree of privacy. “I was actually hoping I could have a moment of your time.”

Rey did the only thing she could do, which was nod nervously, looking back once over her shoulder before she stepped in line with the queen, letting her guide her to a more private space. Rey still had a sight line on the door to the room, and she couldn’t help but continue to look up, waiting for Ben to come out at any moment.

“I realize that we never had the opportunity to properly meet.” The young woman began, suddenly seeming just as nervous as Rey felt, “The last time you were here you were being dragged away like a prisoner.”

Rey looked down at her and nodded. “I apologize for the deception, your highness. It was necessary to keep up the facade.”

The queen smirked, shaking her head. “There is no need to apologize. And please, call me Milané.”

Rey fidgeted slightly, her eyes trailing up to check the door yet again. “Sure.”

Milané smiled brightly, taking her arm and leading her toward the wide window overlooking the waterfalls below. “I’m sure you are wondering why I wanted to speak with you.”

Rey nodded.

The girl hummed shyly, her young age suddenly plain despite the heavy makeup she wore. “Did… did the Supreme Leader tell you anything about me?”

Rey looked at her softly, sensing her trepidation. “He did.”

“And?”

“He said that I’d like you.” Rey smiled at the girl, hoping it was reassuring. “And that you’re force-sensitive.”

Milané stiffened, turning to look out the window. “I don’t know what to do with it. And it terrifies me.”

“It terrified me too.” Rey acknowledged. “It helps to have a teacher. But some things you can figure out on your own.”

Milané turned her head to look back up at Rey. “I know there is much to do, and that you will have an important role to play as we all reshape the galaxy.” She turned to face her, gripping her hands tightly in front of her waist. “But I was wondering if, perhaps, you would be willing to stay and teach me. We would give you all the space you required. And could come and go as you please.”

Rey gaped at her for a moment, both flattered and surprised by the request. It was in that surprised that she looked up to find Ben’s distinct dark figure exiting through the large doors, deep in conversation with his mother. Seeming to sense her staring, he looked up, meeting her eyes from across the foyer. Her chest clenched tightly at the sight of him, and the world seemed to fall away.

Milané took notice of her distraction and smiled, placing her hand over Rey’s with a gentle squeeze. “Rey?”

Rey forced herself to look back at the queen, her heart pounding furiously in her chest. “Can I... Can I think about it?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need.” Milane smiled, looking toward Ben knowingly. She stepped away, heading back to her contingent and leaving Rey alone to gape at the man she thought she’d lost.

Her feet carried her toward him slowly, like a magnet drawn to its pair. She saw Leia smile up at Ben before stepping away, but otherwise she saw nothing but him. His eyes never left hers, staring at her with an intensity that threatened to burn her alive.

She stopped a few feet from him, raking over his body like it was the first time she’d ever truly looked at him. In some ways, it was. He looked younger, healthier, the bags under his eyes gone for the first time since she’d known him. The man that stood before her now was clad in gray rather than black, with a neckline that revealed his collarbone, which flexed tightly as he swallowed, his own anxiety mixing with hers across the space she left between them.

“Rey...”

Before he had the chance to finish his thought, Rey flew into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she cried into his chest. He pulled her in without hesitating, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and burying his face in her hair.

There were no words to express the relief she felt holding him there. Knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was real, and awake, and _alive_. Her sobs were muffled against him and she pulled him impossibly tighter, as if letting him go would mean it was all a lie. He followed suit, burying his face into her neck, breathing her in fully for the first time.

When finally she pulled back, just enough to see his face, he hesitated, a inescapable sense of anxiety rushing through her. But that anxiety was not her own. It belonged to her bond mate, the man who only moments before held her with the same sense of relief and joy that she’d felt.

“Ben?” She settled back on her heels, studying his face curiously. “What is it?”

He swallowed hard, looking away briefly before stealing his gaze back on her. “Will you come with me? I have something I want to show you.”

With a nervous glance, he held out his hand, ungloved and bare before her. This time there was no demand, no sense of urgency or impending doom. It was simply a question. One that she answered without hesitation, reaching up and taking his offering with a smile.

“Of course.”

She squeezed his hand gently, watching as he looked at their intertwined hands with a sense of awe, and then turned, pulling her slightly as she followed him toward some new unknown, a thousand words sitting heavy between them.

__________________________________________________

They entered his grandmother’s resting place hand in hand, an action that felt significant, despite its innocence, and did wonders for his ever building anxiety. The  sun was still peaking over the horizon by the time they arrived, illuminating the mausoleum with the glow of another day come and gone. The red of the sky bled into the marble space, leaving it warm and cozy despite the openness.

Rey drifted away the moment they entered, her head falling back to meet her neck as she gazed up with wide-eyed wonder. Eventually she drifted far enough that she had to let his hand fall away, but she did so lazily, as if she would’ve gladly held on if only he’d followed after her.

Instead he watched, smiling as she spun around the room, touching the columns as she trailed over to the very edge where the waterfall roared below.

“I feel like I’ve seen this place before.” She said without looking back, her voice echoing around them.

“You have.” She turned to face him questioningly as he approached his grandmother’s memorial, standing at a distance as he looked down at the marble lit up in brilliant red and orange. “You saw it in my memories.”

She stepped toward him, coming to stand on the other side of the marble carving, looking down at Padme Amidala with newfound understanding.

“This is your grandmother.”

“It is.”

She looked up, meeting his gaze. “This is where you found Anakin, isn’t it?”

He nodded as Rey moved around the marble slab, watching as she took in the carving honoring the grandmother he never knew.

She ran her hands over the same wooden pendant that brought Anakin to him that day. But this time, no Force ghost appeared before them. He wasn’t needed. Not today. Ben knew what he had to do. All he needed was the strength to see it through.

She stopped with her back to him, her hands tracing along the edge of the fine marble. “Did you ever figure out what it was you’ve been searching for?”

“I did.”

She nodded without turning back to him. “So what now?”

He furrowed his brow as he studied her, noting the way her body had grown stiff. “What do you mean?”

“Well, if the war is over, you can finally build that New Order you wanted. You can rule, and you can make things the way you want them to be. That’s what you wanted, right?”

He shook his head, suddenly understanding the distance that was growing between them.

“No.”

She turned halfway back to him, looking over her shoulder with confusion lighting up her features.

“But… I don’t understand. If not that, then what do you want?”

He looked down, clenching his bare fists briefly as he took a deep breath in, ready to tell her the truth, whatever the consequences.

“You, Rey. Just you.”

She spun on her heels immediately, shaking her head in denial. “Me? But what about the galaxy? What about the First Order and… and...”

“I love you.” As the words slipped away, so too did his gaze, his shoulders dropping as he braced himself for her admonishment.

The seconds dragged on, and still he waited in silence, shutting his eyes to avoid looking at her.

Not a moment later, he felt her small, calloused hand brush along his cheek.

“Ben? Do… do you mean it?”

His eyes shot open at the sounds of her voice, quivering and uncertain as he met her waiting gaze, his heart beating against his rib cage like a drum.

“ _Do I mean it_?” He gaped at her, letting his shields fall away for the first time, determined to let her feel, fully, the depth of his devotion to her.

“Rey, of course I mean it. I’ve loved you from the day I first met you, when you broke inside my head and left me scarred in the snow. I loved you when you shot at me through the bond, and when you called me a murderous snake in the rain. I loved you the first time you called me Ben in that elevator, and when you fought for me in the throne room. I knew I loved you even when you denied me, when you left me broken and alone on the floor, and when you closed me out on Crait and I thought I’d lost you forever. You are my reason to keep breathing, the reason I came home. I want to be a better man because of you. To deserve you, even though I never, ever will.” He swallowed hard as he watched the tears fall down her cheeks in time with his own. “And even… even if you’ll never feel that way about me, I needed you to know. You deserve to know.”

Rey’s lips parted slightly, and he found himself unable to stop from looking at them, waiting in tortured silence for her to say something, anything. To end his agony, one way or another.

A moment passed, and then those very lips were pressed against his, soft and brutal and all consuming. He didn’t even have time to react before she pulled away, holding his face in her hands, her pupils blown wide.

“I _do_ feel the same.” She whispered, tracing her thumb across the scar she’d given him.  “I love you Ben Solo. _All_ of you. Even the dark, broken bits you’d rather hide away.”

Her shields fell away then, revealing the depth of her emotion to him as plainly as the nose on her face. There was no deception in her words, only truth. She loved him. All of him. The darkness, the pain, the hatred, the fear. She saw it all and she accepted it, her love laid bare before him. _He_ was worthy of her love _. He_ was good enough _._

His eyes brimmed with tears as he reached up the cradle her face, and then he was kissing her, with the urgent passion of a man who’d wanted this for far longer than he cared to admit.

The force buzzed as the world fell away and it was just the two of them, coming together at long last. No more rage, or pain, or loneliness. Only peace, and balance.

She was perfect, with her hands tangled in his hair, hips pressed against him as she pulled him down to deepen the kiss. Her lips were like honey to a starving man, her arms the only place that had ever felt like home. He would stay by her side for as long as she’d let him, doing everything in his power to protect her and love her with every fiber of his being.

_What if I never want you to leave?_

He chuckled against her lips, hearing the silent question she asked through their connected minds.

“Then I never will.” He murmured, separating just enough to press his forehead against hers, unable to keep the smile from his lips as he stared down into her beautiful eyes. “Whatever you want Rey. It’s yours.”

She smiled shyly, running her fingers up through his hair as she let out a sigh of relief. “I just want you, Ben. Just you.”

Her stomach growled loudly at that exact moment, and he couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

“Okay, so maybe some food would be good too.”

He smiled as he kissed her gently. “Always the Scavenger, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” She smirked as she took his hand, pulling him back toward the palace. “But you love me for it.”

 _Yes._ He squeezed her hand tightly in his own. _I do._

____________________________________________________

The last glimpse of sunlight settled behind the horizon line, leaving Padme’s memorial shrouded in darkness once more. It was in that darkness that Anakin Skywalker returned, with his son standing by his side, watching the last of their bloodline step into the light of the palace halls, guided by the woman from another world. His opposite in every way that didn’t matter, his equal in all the things that did.

“Do you feel it?” Anakin asked.

“Yes…” Luke nodded, “The Force, it feels…”

“Balanced.” Anakin murmured.  “The Force is balanced.”

Luke watched as his former students walked away, hand in hand, both dressed in shade of gray. He could feel the light in Ben, just as could feel the dark in Rey, but neither ruled anymore. They were whole, and through that wholeness, the scales that held the Force in balance finally fell in line.

He may have failed his nephew. And he may have failed Rey. But they had not failed each other. In the end, that was what mattered. Not the light, or the dark, or the Jedi or the Sith. Just peace, and unity, and the new galaxy that they would built together.

Standing there with his father, the man who had proven that it was possible to be redeemed, watching his nephew finally find peace in his own redemption, he felt proud.

And for the first time in many, many years, Luke Skywalker smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	46. The Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia offers Ben a gift  
> And Rey's dream finally comes true.

_1 year later..._  

“He had one job to do.”

“Ben…”

“He’s not in the Resistance anymore, mother. He represents the Galactic Order. He can’t just hop in a cockpit and blow something up every time someone does something he doesn’t like.”

Leia smirked as she watched her son pace back and forth in the lounge. She couldn’t argue with him of course. She’d told Poe Dameron exactly that more times than she cared to count. But it was still rich to hear her hot-tempered son complain about others acting brashly.

“That sounds familiar, don’t you think?.” She teased, laughing at the glare Ben sent her way in response.

He sighed, running his fingers down the bridge of his nose in frustration. “He’s a good pilot. And the other Special Forces troops like him. But if he pulls another stunt like this…”

“Let me talk to him.” Leia replied evenly, crossing the room to place a calming hand on his arm. “You’re not supposed to be worrying about this right now.”

Ben shook his head, ignoring her. “General Vheers reported that the Arkanis sector has reopened the Corellian Run. Where are we with Coruscant?”

She could only sigh, turning away with a shake of her head as she reached for her datapad and took a seat on the couch. She’d brought Ben and Rey to Varykino to get them away from the tireless work of running the galaxy, yet here she was, talking shop with her son instead.

“General Tico is meeting with Chancellor Ieo today.” Ben nodded, sitting on the couch across from her. “Finn has taken the FN Troops to Dathomir to raid out the Loorik Gang. Lando has worked out a deal with a Corellian shipbuilder for the TIE-Silencer order, and your engineers have signed off on the final upgrade specs.”

Ben nodded happily, relaxing into the lounger.

“And what about the Hutts?”

Leia stiffened uncomfortably, having hoped he wouldn’t bring this up. “They have agreed to meet.”

Ben quirked his brow, knowing full well that there was more to that concession than she had volunteered. “Under what conditions?”

“Well,” Leia leaned back. “They request your presence. No emicary.”

“What else?”

“They want you to come to Nar Shaddaa.”

“Alright.”

“And they want you to go alone. I already told them that you would absolutely not be -”

“Done.”

“Ben, no.” She shook her head fervently. “You are not going alone. It’s too dangerous, even for you.”

Ben stood, crossing the room to stand before the window, looking out at the lake below. “We need to meet with the Hutts. If this is what they ask, then this is what will be done.”

“Ben.” Leia stood, following him to the window’s edge. “You can’t. The Hutts have long memories. They will never…”

“Let the son of the Hutt-killer walk away alive?” He turned to look down at her, “They’re not supposed to know I’m your son in the first place. And besides, the Hutts are nothing but a bunch of oversized slugs who have been given too much leeway for far to long. It is time they are dealt with.”

Ben looked away, his eyes wandering until they latched on to something below. Leia followed his gaze, finding the reason for his softening expression immediately. Rey stood below, her lavender and white dress blowing lightly in the breeze. She felt Ben relax beside her, sucking in a deep breath as his shoulders relaxed.

She could only smile, watching her son stare out at his new wife, soaking in the calm that radiated from him whenever he was in her presence.

“You know,” She said softly, “Rey should probably have a say. Especially if her husband is going to be putting his life at risk unnecessarily.”

Ben’s lips curved into the slightest hint of a smile, looking at the ring on his left hand briefly before his eyes darted back to his wife.

“Have you two put any thought into where you might like home to be?”

Ben turned to her, furrowing his brow. “Home?”

Leia chuckled, taking his hand in hers. “You’re married now Ben. You need to have home. And no, a _ship_ doesn’t count.”

He looked like he wanted to protest, but the glare she shot him stopped him in his tracks.

“Do you know why I brought you here?”

He did not reply, waiting.

“When I went to get Padme’s journals, I learned of this place. Varykino it’s called. It belonged to the Naberrie’s.” She gestured out toward the patio, where Rey was playing with a flower below. “Padme and Anakin were married here, and it was where I would’ve been raised, if things had been different.”

He looked down at her, surprise lighting up his eyes.

“It passed down to me, which means that it’s yours now, Ben. If you want it, of course.”

He swallowed hard, looking down at her with wide, bright eyes. “What about the Order? I can’t rule from way out here…”

“And why not?” Leia argued. “We can upgrade the communications systems easy enough. You have the right people in place to take care of the day-to-day, and Theed is just a shuttle ride away. When the senate convenes again, you can go into the city whenever you need. I’ll keep my base there as well. And Rey can start her lessons with the queen.”

She turned, looking out to see Rey trailing over to the edge of the patio. She knew Rey liked it here. She’d spent almost every waking moment since they arrived outside, studying the flowers and plants, or chasing after the various birds and bugs that shared the space, watching in child-like wonder as they danced through the air around her. And though he may hide it well, Leia knew Ben was happy here too, enjoying the peaceful calm of the paradise retreat, far from the squabbling and bickering of the political world. He still refused to put work aside, but he was far more relaxed here than he was anywhere else, the shift in him palpable, as was evident by his reaction to Poe’s boneheaded botch job with the Hapian ambassador.

He needed this. They both did. The last year had been a constant barrage of missions and meetings, with he and Rey sprinting from one side of the galaxy to the next, building a team of trusted advisers and generals, reorganizing the First Order into the new Galactic Order and establishing a new Galactic Senate to be based in Theed, a generous offer from the Queen. It had been nonstop for them all, but their plans were finally starting to settle into place, the transition running as smoothly as could be expected. Now it was time for them to think about settling down too.

“I think you’d be happy here.” She said simply, looking up at her son to find him staring down below. “And you deserve to be happy, Ben. Both of you. Let me worry about the rest.”

He turned to her, chewing at the corner of his mouth anxiously. She could see in his eyes how badly he wanted this. It was only his guilt that stopped him from accepting on the spot. “I can ask her.”

“You do that.” Leia smiled. “Now go. The galaxy can wait. Rey shouldn’t have to.”

Ben smirked, nodding once, and she squeezed his hand gently before letting him go, turning back to the window, looking down on her daughter-in-law fondly.

The wedding had been small and private, much like hers and Han’s. It had been just the two of them, sneaking off somewhere and coming back as one. They hadn’t asked for anything, and had refused all offers of gifts. She accepted this begrudgingly, all while trying to think of a way to give them some token of her love.

She’d settled on this. She could bare the monotonous burdens of running a government so that they didn’t have to. Ben had suffered enough as the son of a senator. Neither he, nor Rey, nor any children they may someday have, needed to suffer the same fate again.

She’d failed him as a child, but she wouldn’t fail him now. She would shoulder his burdens so that he could be free, and safe, and happy. She would give him the one thing she should’ve provided for him his whole life.

Varykino was a home. It was the perfect place for a family to grow, safe from the rest of the galaxy, but not so far away that they couldn’t experience it’s joys. He could be Ben here. And not the Ben she’d left behind, but the one that Rey had saved. The one he was deep down, when the masks and shields fell away. He could love, and be loved in return, finding balance and peace.

If Leia could give her son only one more gift, she could think of no better one.

_________________________________________

Rey _loved_ it here.

She and Ben had seen more of the galaxy in the past year than she’d ever dreamed of seeing. Takodana was hardly the greenest planet she’d been to now, and Jakku was certainly not the only barren wasteland. They’d encountered giant plant life on Felucia and giant, snow-capped mountains on Vandor. She’d witnessed the never ending rain on Kamino, and the lava-covered cliffs of Mustafar. The rolling hills and calm seas of Chandrila had been beautiful, and even the sprawling urban metropolis that was Coruscant had it’s charms. But for all of the incredible things they’d seen over the past year, nothing came close to the beauty of the lake country on Naboo.

The villa Leia had brought them to sat on the edge of a blue lake, bumping up against green mountains in the distance. The ancient trees sprouted up from below, providing shade to the sprawling patio where she found herself now. Vines snaked their way across the rooftop, dripping down and blending with the bright red flowers that sat potted along the intricately carved wall. Every color was vibrant, every smell sweet, and Rey found herself spinning wildly, just trying to soak it all in.  
  
“Do you like it?”  
  
Rey spun, looking back to find Ben standing behind her draped in a loose grey shirt and dark pants. He walked toward her slowly, his hands crossed lazily behind his back as he moved to stand beside her at the edge of the balcony, looking out over the lake below.

“This place belonged to my grandmother’s family.” He murmured softly. “She came here with my grandfather. It’s where they fell in love.”

  
Rey turned to look up at him with a furrowed brow, the deja vu of this moment too strong to ignore. She’d been to this place before, heard these words fall from his lips… but when? 

  
“What is it?”

  
Rey turned to look back over the lake. “It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.” She answered honestly.  
Ben’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, and then reached over, taking her hand in his, squeezing gently. “We can stay here. If you’d like. It can be our home.”

She turned to look up at him in surprise.  He _had_ said those words to her before, wearing these clothes, looking at her with the same love and adoration. It had been a distant dream then. But it was real now. The vision becoming a reality beyond her wildest dreams. He looked down at her, lifting the hand that wasn’t entwined in hers to gently caress her cheek.  
  
“Rey...” He pressed softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her temple. “What are you thinking about?”

“My dream…” She whispered, “ _This was my dream_.”

Ben tilted his head in confusion, “What dream?”

“I dreamed of this moment, of you offering this up as our home, long ago.” She breathed, taking both his hands in hers and holding them down between them. “Back when we were still fighting. I thought it was just a dream. But it wasn’t. And now...”

Ben chuckled softly, pulling her into his warm embrace. “Now you’re my wife.” He stated matter-of-factly, “Funny how things turn out, isn’t it?”

Rey pushed back just enough to look up at him, a teasing smile lighting up his eyes. She returned the smile, pressing up on toes to plant a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Yes, _husband_. It is.”

Ben’s smile grew wider, and he leaned down to press their foreheads together as he turned just enough to look out at the lake beyond.

“So what do you think? Could you be happy here?”

It was a stupid question really. Rey was happy anywhere, so long as she was with him. She could live out of the cockpit of their ship and be perfectly content. But she sensed that behind his light and airy tone was a serious question seeking a serious answer.

“Of course.” She replied softly, seeking to meet his eyes. “But what about the galaxy?”

Ben’s chocolate orbs burned brightly, ablaze with emotion, seeking and searching whatever lay within hers, as if whatever he found there would determine his answer.

“The galaxy can wait.” He answered after a moment. “I just want to be with you.”

Rey’s heart clenched tightly in her chest. Sure, she’d married the man only a few weeks ago. But she’d never grow used to the way her heart raced when he stared at her with love in his eyes, or swept her off her to feet to kiss her passionately. She could live to be Chewie’s age, and still she was certain her knees would grow weak at his professions of love.

“Are you sure?”

His eyes softened as he turned back to meet her questioning gaze. She knew how hard it would be for him to let go, to place trust in the team they’d put in place. But she also knew that he needed a break. They both did.

“I want you to be happy Rey.” He answered honestly, sighing heavily. “And, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t mind staying in one place for a while.”

“And your mother wouldn’t mind?”

Ben scoffed. “She practically insisted. Said it time we found somewhere to call home.”

Rey smiled. Leia had been pressing her to try and get Ben to settle down for weeks now. She wanted them to rest, insisting that they’d earned it. Rey wasn’t so sure if that was true. Neither of them had ever _rested_ before. If she was honest, she wasn’t sure they knew how. But it would be nice to have some time for just the two of them. To breathe in something other than recycled air, and eat foods fresh from a garden for more than a meal or two. And if she had to choose a place, there was nowhere in the galaxy she’d rather be than right here.

Wrapping her arms around Ben’s neck, she brushed her nose against his before pulling him down for deep, languid kiss.

“You’re my home Ben Solo.” She murmured against his mouth. “But I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t love it here.”

“It’s settled then.” Ben spun her until she was pulled tight against his chest, both of them staring up at the villa. The Force practically glowed with new life as they stood admiring the beauty of the world around them, safe in each other embrace, perfectly in balance with one another. Ben hummed as he leaned down to press a kiss to the crook of her neck, his deep voice rumbling softly in her ear.

“Welcome home, Rey Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's all folks. 
> 
> It's impossible to fathom that I've been working on this for over a year now. It's the first piece of writing that I've actually been able to see all the way through, and I'm honestly super emotional that's come to an end. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself on the weekends anymore :/
> 
> For those of you who have stuck with me till the end, thank you. I know this was a BEAST of a slow-burn, but I truly felt it needed to be to be as true to these characters as possible. And if you felt like the payoff wasn't nearly long enough, you're in luck! 
> 
> I have currently mapped out 5 "one-shots" that you can start reading here. The first one, which is posted along with this chapter, takes place between Chapters 45 and 46. From there everything is beyond this chapter chronologically. 
> 
> Again, thank you for your support, for your readership, and most of all for your love of our OTP. Episode IX can't come soon enough! 
> 
> See you for the next story :)
> 
>  


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